INTENSITY²
Start here => Games => Topic started by: odeon on February 18, 2012, 04:35:49 AM
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New thread. Old was funny but too long.
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god odeon, you could have at least posted a funny picture or something!
first post and you wasted it :M
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Where's your funny thing then Adam? Second post and you wasted it.
:P
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(http://flipbest.com/uploads/3435demotivational-posters-gone-wild51.jpg)
(http://flipbest.com/uploads/4700demotivational-posters-gone-wild53.jpg)
(http://swatflies.webs.com/baseball.jpg)
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Tommy is squirming around at his desk, scratching his crotch and paying little attention to the lesson going on in the classroom. When his teacher goes over to find out what’s going on, Tommy is quite embarrassed. He whispers to her that he’s recently been circumcised and he’s gotten very itchy. So his teacher tells him to use the phone in the corridor to ask his mother what he should do about his itch. Tommy does as he’s told and five minutes later returns to his desk. Within minutes, there’s a commotion around his desk and when the teacher goes to investigate, she finds Tommy sitting there with his penis hanging out of his trousers.
"I thought I told you to call your Mother," she says to him.
"I did teacher," he replies. "She told me that if I could stick it out till lunch time, she'd come and pick me up from school."
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lol just seen this on facebook :green:
http://youtu.be/kFP6kzZJGOs (http://youtu.be/kFP6kzZJGOs)
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hjujuh
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Princess Mary of Denmark and the Finnish president's husband (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mjZVzB7y52U#ws) Whoops.. :autism:
:LOL:
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(http://cheezfailbooking.files.wordpress.com/2012/02/funny-facebook-fails-art-thief.jpg)
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(http://cheezfailbooking.files.wordpress.com/2012/02/funny-facebook-fails-matt-changes-tactics.jpg)
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(http://cheezfailbooking.files.wordpress.com/2012/02/funny-facebook-fails-matt-changes-tactics.jpg)
Are you sure this isn't eris and a friend?
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(http://cheezfailbooking.files.wordpress.com/2012/02/funny-facebook-fails-matt-changes-tactics.jpg)
Are you sure this isn't eris and a friend?
Aww harsh :P
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my name is with an i not a y :)
rick santorums face made out of gay porn
(http://sphotos.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-snc7/s320x320/420185_10150537583707101_651042100_9052527_731477667_n.jpg)
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(http://cheezfailbooking.files.wordpress.com/2012/02/funny-facebook-fails-matt-changes-tactics.jpg)
Are you sure this isn't eris and a friend?
Aww harsh :P
It wasn't meant to be. Didn't she know/knew a Matt?
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matt ? hmm, an old high school crush is named matt. once he kissed me and i fainted. havent seen him in years.
oooh, and haileys real name is matt :P
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And now for a legit facebook fail: https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=299030450152108&set=a.212513605470460.63374.152467591475062&type=1&ref=nf (https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=299030450152108&set=a.212513605470460.63374.152467591475062&type=1&ref=nf)
:facepalm2:
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like 3 of my ghey ass friends reposted that pic. for shame, for shame
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So, now it is gone. What was it?
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So, now it is gone. What was it?
It was a cloud picture that looked kind of like two dark enormous hands stretching out a round lighter gap in the clouds. The person who posted it thought that it had some sort of religious significance, but one of the people who commented said that it looked like the guy who was stretching out his own anus with his hands.
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Callaway, why don't you google the picture so you can post it?
I'm sure hyke would find that really helpful!
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thrthjt
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The sequence of the posts above made me roar with laughter.
You have got some real bitching talent Adam.
:congrats: :LMAO: :fuckyeahdance:
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The sequence of the posts above made me roar with laughter.
You have got some real bitching talent Adam.
:congrats: :LMAO: :fuckyeahdance:
lmao, I can't help myself. I'm starting to think I should be one of those camp, bitchy gay guys
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I really hope I never turn into my internet self though. I am such a slag on here :nerdy:
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(http://sphotos.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash4/417746_265934503480599_126894987384552_610838_722796792_n.jpg)
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So, now it is gone. What was it?
It was a cloud picture that looked kind of like two dark enormous hands stretching out a round lighter gap in the clouds. The person who posted it thought that it had some sort of religious significance, but one of the people who commented said that it looked like the guy who was stretching out his own anus with his hands.
Thanks.
Can't imagine how someone could possibly mistake clouds for a stretched anus or the other way around.
Don't think I want to be able to understand said mistake either.
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(http://cheezfailbooking.files.wordpress.com/2012/02/funny-facebook-fails-is-there-a-problem-lucifer.jpeg)
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(http://failblog.files.wordpress.com/2012/02/dating-fails-dating-fails-breaking-the-cycle.jpg)
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(http://hackedirl.files.wordpress.com/2012/02/epic-win-photos-hacked-irl-cant-deny-that.jpg)
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(http://failblog.files.wordpress.com/2012/02/epic-fail-fail-nation-obvious-signs-fail.jpg)
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(http://failblog.files.wordpress.com/2012/02/funny-facebook-fails-failbook-the-pre-natal-period.jpg)
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(http://graphjam.files.wordpress.com/2012/02/funny-graphs-reasons-why-i-hate-pie-charts.jpg)
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Skittles "Newlyweds" [Dir. Cousins] Not affiliated w/ Skittles, not suitable for minors [ORIGINAL] (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qvgYAwDORo4#ws)
Reese's Pieces - Love Child - Dir. Cousins (Sequel to Skittles "Newlyweds") (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K_x8i9RGRAM#ws)
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So, now it is gone. What was it?
It was a cloud picture that looked kind of like two dark enormous hands stretching out a round lighter gap in the clouds. The person who posted it thought that it had some sort of religious significance, but one of the people who commented said that it looked like the guy who was stretching out his own anus with his hands.
Thanks.
Can't imagine how someone could possibly mistake clouds for a stretched anus or the other way around.
Don't think I want to be able to understand said mistake either.
I think I still have the window open if you want to see the picture.
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How to shut up the kids (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2UqsK3nHB_Y#)
Cops :facepalm:
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http://www.paleisthenewtan.com (http://www.paleisthenewtan.com)
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So, now it is gone. What was it?
It was a cloud picture that looked kind of like two dark enormous hands stretching out a round lighter gap in the clouds. The person who posted it thought that it had some sort of religious significance, but one of the people who commented said that it looked like the guy who was stretching out his own anus with his hands.
Thanks.
Can't imagine how someone could possibly mistake clouds for a stretched anus or the other way around.
Don't think I want to be able to understand said mistake either.
I think I still have the window open if you want to see the picture.
You like it that much? :orly:
* starts being intrigued *
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Don't know if it is the picture that intrigues me, or the fact that you still have the window with it open.
Think it is the latter. :laugh:
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So, now it is gone. What was it?
It was a cloud picture that looked kind of like two dark enormous hands stretching out a round lighter gap in the clouds. The person who posted it thought that it had some sort of religious significance, but one of the people who commented said that it looked like the guy who was stretching out his own anus with his hands.
Thanks.
Can't imagine how someone could possibly mistake clouds for a stretched anus or the other way around.
Don't think I want to be able to understand said mistake either.
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So, now it is gone. What was it?
It was a cloud picture that looked kind of like two dark enormous hands stretching out a round lighter gap in the clouds. The person who posted it thought that it had some sort of religious significance, but one of the people who commented said that it looked like the guy who was stretching out his own anus with his hands.
Thanks.
Can't imagine how someone could possibly mistake clouds for a stretched anus or the other way around.
Don't think I want to be able to understand said mistake either.
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for FUCK's cunting fucking sake Peter :fuckyeahdance:
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Wow, goatse isn't as visually horrifying as I had assumed it would be.
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DAVE ALBO'S WIFE REJECTS SEX WITH HIM (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vbLsy9eKBlI#)
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(http://graphjam.files.wordpress.com/2012/02/funny-graphs-are-there-really-any-other-options1.jpg)
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(http://chzdailywhat.files.wordpress.com/2012/02/29dbd95f-44fe-4766-a1d1-b9acb9092ced.jpg)
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(http://cheezfailbooking.files.wordpress.com/2012/02/funny-facebook-fails-finding-half-a-nevermind.jpg)
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(http://mthruf.files.wordpress.com/2012/02/job-fails-this-will-have-to-suffice-in-the-meantime.jpg)
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(http://chzdailywhat.files.wordpress.com/2012/02/560b7353-3868-43c3-adf1-8e5417bb2fd6.jpg)
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(http://failblog.files.wordpress.com/2012/02/party-fails-after-happy-birthday-youre-safe-now.jpg)
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(http://chzdailywhat.files.wordpress.com/2012/02/a9cdb7b0-60bc-48c6-9edb-76ff8bee832a.jpg)
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(http://failblog.files.wordpress.com/2012/02/dating-fails-dating-fails-ill-see-your-half-your-possessions-and-raise-you-your-dog.jpg)
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(http://failblog.files.wordpress.com/2012/02/epic-fail-photos-fail-nation-probably-bad-news-the-trail-of-donuts-should-have-been-a-clue.jpg)
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Dramatic Interpretations of Facebook - Middle Schoolers (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L-gzqA4FzIA#)
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(http://hackedirl.files.wordpress.com/2012/02/epic-win-photos-fresh-eggs-win.jpg)
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Predator: The Musical (The Final Schwarzenegger Musical?) (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qlicWUDf5MM#ws)
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Reporter Craps Her Pants During Interview Video (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ApNedgj3HBs#ws)
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wtf ^
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(http://photos-a.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/297398_178385895581385_100002299266426_380508_1637098252_a.jpg)
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Recently discovered these guys:
Mitchell and Webb - Posh Dancing (s03e03) (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gTchxR4suto#ws)
Agent Suave (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bu5kX2hwDgk#)
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Predator: The Musical (The Final Schwarzenegger Musical?) (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qlicWUDf5MM#ws)
If it breeds* we should kill it
*reference to fundamentalists of all sorts, most of whom do not believe in birth control...
Fixed.
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(http://cheezfailbooking.files.wordpress.com/2012/02/funny-facebook-fails-finding-half-a-nevermind.jpg)
My mum found a worm crawling down the wall in the bathroom tonight. She wasn't happy.
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lololol
www.youtube.com/watch?v=uzOvc4XuFNc (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uzOvc4XuFNc#ws)
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this was from a few years ago - a cab driver was mistaken for someone who was meant to be doing an interview live on air lol
i love how the woman interviewing him is clearly thinking "god what a retard" but just goes along with it :laugh:
http://youtu.be/atfNL0_KAcs (http://youtu.be/atfNL0_KAcs)
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The truth about Scots:
How Braveheart Should Have Ended (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tcoVxbutl8g#)
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Average Customer Review
2.4 out of 5 stars (101 customer reviews)
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
1,177 of 1,231 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars Comedy of Epic Proportions, July 16, 2011
By
Jacqueline Boss - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)
This review is from: The Holy Bible: King James Version (Paperback)
This Comedy-Fantasy is one of my favorites to read when I'm having a bad day, along with the Monty Python and the Holy Grail transcript! King James is a comedic genius rivaling Ricky Gervais and will surely be remembered as such for generations to come.
The plot follows the antagonistic character God, an angsty old man hungry for power, who becomes bored in his isolation and so creates a magical world where he places a naked man and a woman, but neglects to tell them the difference between right and wrong. He puts a magic forbidden apple on a tree and places a magic snake to tempt the naked people to eat the magic apple, apparently forgetting that he forgot to teach them what it means to be "wrong" about trusting the snake and eating the apple- so they eat the apple, and then the fun really begins!
Follow God through the years as he overcomes obstacles such as figuring out how to kill off the human race, impregnating a married woman, and being generally disliked by the majority of the world's population!
With countless stories about incest, murder, rape, violence, and genocide OK'd by God, The Holy Bible is a laugh a minute! I just love that every hotel I visit already has The Holy Bible laid out for me, where I can easily reach it if I am feeling homesick and need a quick pick-me-up.
::SPOILER ALERT::
The character Satan fill's the role of God's avasary. Satan and God both enjoy killing people- in the end however, with his all-powerful and all-knowing magical powers, God racks up thousands of kills while Satan is barely able to boast a handful!
The next time you find yourself a hankerin' for a Saturday night box office comedy, consider a cheaper alternative. Stay home and read the Bible.
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Comment Comments (40)
2,000 of 2,101 people found the following review helpful:
3.0 out of 5 stars A decent sophomore effort., June 17, 2008
By
W. Christian - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)
This review is from: The Holy Bible: King James Version (Paperback)
For those of you who don't know, this is God's second novel after the Old Testament. It's a marked improvement, in my opinion. He got rid of a lot of his previous angst and scorn, and has really begun to show some of the maturity present in his later works. He's become a much more loving and kind God, and, noticeably, he doesn't throw nearly as many tantrums as he did in the first book.
That said, there is still vast room for improvement. Plot wise, there isn't really much suspense, and the story can be incredibly repetitive. In like four chapters, he just rewords the same basic story over and over again. To top that off, he puts those chapters one right after the other. Like we wouldn't notice! I like the whole Jesus character, but let's face it, the whole good guy martyr thing has been done before. There was no need to devote so much of the book to that guy.
If you're really looking for a good God read, check out the Koran or the Book of Mormon. They're much more polished. Plus, the storytelling in the Book of Mormon is wild. Some people say it goes too far and point to it as evidence that God's over the hill, but I beg to differ. Just read it. God's like a genius or something. I mean, magic spectacles! Tell me that isn't awesome. I don't know how he dreams up some of this crap.
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Comment Comments (43)
132 of 140 people found the following review helpful:
1.0 out of 5 stars Less than impressive fiction, July 18, 2011
By
Voss - See all my reviews
This review is from: The Holy Bible: King James Version (Paperback)
The first half of this novel includes a lot of gratuitous sex and violence, which is not necessarily a bad thing. But it then seems to degenerate into endless racism and sexism. The second half, while slightly more coherent, is plodding.
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Director's Cut Liquid-Plumr Double Impact Commercial (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z7fz0jpuLkM#ws)
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(http://i206.photobucket.com/albums/bb242/knightz_1/DirtyCats.jpg)
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stray cat strut
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(http://cheezfailbooking.files.wordpress.com/2012/03/funny-facebook-fails-living-up-to-your-name.jpeg)
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BBC Proms 2011: Tim Minchin - F Sharp (Comedy Prom) (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Ju8Wxmrk3s#ws)
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(http://hackedirl.files.wordpress.com/2012/02/epic-win-photos-hacked-irl-who-doesnt-like-free-stuff.jpg)
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(http://cheezfailbooking.files.wordpress.com/2012/02/funny-facebook-fails-deal-with-it.jpg)
^if the grammar were better, I'd say he sounds like my type.
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Pretty sure eris's soulmate would have this tat: (http://failblog.files.wordpress.com/2012/02/funny-tattoos-ugliest-tattoos-the-most-evil-kitty-in-the-universe.jpg)
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(http://failblog.files.wordpress.com/2012/02/dating-fails-dating-fails-hey-cartoon-characters-are-very-difficult-to-discern.jpg)
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(http://cheezfailbooking.files.wordpress.com/2012/02/funny-facebook-fails-pushing-her-one-step-closer.jpg)
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(http://lolmart.com/files/2010/07/kim-jong-il-smiling.jpg)
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(http://i216.photobucket.com/albums/cc254/Tigger_the_Wing/Silly%20Stuff/other%20rubbish/spanking.jpg)
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BBC Proms 2011: Tim Minchin - F Sharp (Comedy Prom) (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Ju8Wxmrk3s#ws)
I'm tone-deaf and the musical scale is somewhat of a mystery to me, so my ability to appreciate this was limited.
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(http://mthruf.files.wordpress.com/2012/03/job-fails-what-your-hand-placement-says-about-you2.jpg)
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(http://failblog.files.wordpress.com/2012/03/dating-fails-dating-fails-zombies-just-get-it-you-know.png)
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(http://failblog.files.wordpress.com/2012/03/epic-fail-fail-nation-better-than-guitar-hero-fail.jpg)
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(http://hackedirl.files.wordpress.com/2012/02/epic-win-photos-google-search-win.png)
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i cant remember if i got these off here and saved them to post on fb , or got them off fb and saved them to post on here
hopefully the latter. if not then apologies
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juki
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Dunno..
Durex Werbung Ballon Sex + Outtakes Blobbers (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O5kJa6oxnfA#)
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(http://static.fjcdn.com/pictures/Gordon+Ramsay+s+Omelette+Recipe.+How+to+make+an+Omelette_ca7a01_3335239.jpg)
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(https://encrypted-tbn0.google.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRjJ5bjXb0-CKCL6bU7JbhX3qLaPTBSoGQAVS21ZxbTlZgTkWjeXQ)
(https://encrypted-tbn0.google.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcTd-3ZK6qmgX5WBbyZEVcjEgyqLYYEaNri9xdHcUeLlcYl-Zb9OqQ)
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(http://failblog.files.wordpress.com/2012/03/engrish-funny-engrish-funny-a-dvd-player-for-the-non-religious.jpg)
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(http://mthruf.files.wordpress.com/2012/03/job-fails-has-never-been-more-relevant.jpg)
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=xTjEwuuBRBE# (http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=xTjEwuuBRBE#)!
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(http://hackedirl.files.wordpress.com/2012/03/epic-win-photos-visual-pun-win.jpg)
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(http://failblog.files.wordpress.com/2012/03/dating-fails-dating-fails-thats-why-you-learned-guitar-in-the-first-place-isnt-it.jpg)
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(http://cheezfailbooking.files.wordpress.com/2012/03/funny-facebook-fails-that-love-wont-go-on.jpg)
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(http://chzsomuchpun.files.wordpress.com/2012/03/funny-puns-going-to-the-toilet-in-french.jpg)
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(http://graphjam.files.wordpress.com/2012/03/funny-graphs-is-this-a-common-problem1.jpg)
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(http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=QDGlgH_ZsrY)
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(http://failblog.files.wordpress.com/2012/03/dating-fails-dating-fails-thats-why-you-learned-guitar-in-the-first-place-isnt-it.jpg)
(http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lw16aa5eFB1qcysa6.jpg)
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=xTjEwuuBRBE# (http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=xTjEwuuBRBE#)!
The sense of entitlement some people have just pisses me off.
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=xTjEwuuBRBE# (http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=xTjEwuuBRBE#)!
The sense of entitlement some people have just pisses me off.
The girl in question looked kinda like she was a few sandwiches short of a picnic. One of the first things I think looking at her face legitimately is "Did her mom drink or do drugs." She doesn't look deformed, but maybe some minor fetal alcohol effects. She also sounded like she was on drugs, of course.
At any rate, I also wonder if the mindset that tends to ingrain inter generational dependence on the system was a part of it (that's just a guess- I deal with it every bloody day at work- it's depressing). She could well have also blown all that money already, buying the house, the car, whatever else (again, quite possibly the drugs).
She could be being honest when she says "money is tight right now." If this is the case, should she have managed it better? Absolutely. Should she be penalized? Probably, but define "should." The state should have done a better job of watching where its money leaked to, but it never does. And, obvious though it seems to draw the line at her quick expenditure, there's to some extent a slippery slope s far as how much we "should" help people (and what people "deserve" help) after they experience financial hardship partially due to their own bad decisions.
At any rate, she sounds like a ghastly idiot with no grasp of morals, but I'm not convinced it's safe to assume she had a full bank account while using food stamps.
/soapboxing off of my own post in the just-for-lulz thread
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(http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/pickup_artist.png)
<3
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maybe a giggle?
(http://media-cdn.pinterest.com/upload/98445941824615007_TnNvGtyw_c.jpg)
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(http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/pickup_artist.png)
<3
I want a girl like that.
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When former Attorney General Edwin Meese released a report on pornography in the 1980s, photographers dived to the floor to capture the image of him raising the report in the air, with the partially nude female statue behind him.
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(http://media-cdn.pinterest.com/upload/65161525828527149_COTn4yLD_b.jpg)
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(http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/pickup_artist.png)
<3
I want a girl like that.
...verbally abusive? :toporly:
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(http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/pickup_artist.png)
<3
I want a girl like that.
...verbally abusive? :toporly:
No. Smart enough to see through bullshit, and witty enough to put a douchebag in his place.
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(http://cheezfailbooking.files.wordpress.com/2012/03/funny-facebook-fails-nightmare-fuel.jpg)
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(http://failblog.files.wordpress.com/2012/03/funny-facebook-fails-failbook-this-is-so-not-pc.jpg)
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(http://cheezfailbooking.files.wordpress.com/2012/03/funny-facebook-fails-putting-yourself-in-the-friend-zone.jpg)
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(http://media-cdn.pinterest.com/upload/54254370481064991_BdUu9jq2_c.jpg)
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(http://mthruf.files.wordpress.com/2012/03/job-fails-the-ie-versions-kept-breaking1.jpg)
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(http://graphjam.files.wordpress.com/2012/03/funny-graphs-sadly-true1.jpg)
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(http://failblog.files.wordpress.com/2012/03/homework-class-test-school-of-fail-y-u-no-eat-healthier-snacks-john.jpg)
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Idk why but it depressed me inswtead of make me laugh. :(
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(http://media-cdn1.pinterest.com/upload/247979523202152176_kxOPHmOL_c.jpg)
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(http://i.imgur.com/2JZfd.gif)
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(http://us2.memecdn.com/owlcat_c_195822.jpg)
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Idk why but it depressed me inswtead of make me laugh. :(
Try to post something that makes you funny so we can try to find something that you may find uplifting?
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Greatest freak out ever (ORIGINAL VIDEO) (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YersIyzsOpc#)
This one made me lol so hard I drooled. I watched it too many times to be funny anymore.
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(http://failblog.files.wordpress.com/2012/03/music-fails-music-fails-these-puns-b-sharp.jpg)
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(http://cheezfailbooking.files.wordpress.com/2012/03/funny-facebook-fails-capitalism.jpeg)
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That was funny.
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Why is that the only smart thing Ozzie Osbourne had to say, was to criticize Lady Gaga?
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Sticky Vicky:
Sticky Vicky Show (Benidorm) (http://vimeo.com/28664784)
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Family Tree of Vincent Van Gogh
Vincent's dizzy aunt -------------------------------------- Verti Gogh
His brother who ate prunes------------------------- Gotta Gogh
The brother who worked at a convenience store ------ Stop N Gogh
The grandfather from Yugoslavia ----------------------------- U Gogh
His magician uncle -------------------------------- Where-diddy Gogh
His Mexican cousin ------------------------------------ A Mee Gogh
The Mexican cousin's American half-brother ------------ Gring Gogh
The nephew who drove a stage coach --------------- Wells-far Gogh
The constipated uncle ------------------------------------- Can't Gogh
The ballroom dancing aunt -------------------------------- Tang Gogh
The bird lover uncle -------------------------------------- Flamin Gogh
The fruit-loving cousin -------------------------------------- Man Gogh
An aunt who taught positive thinking ------------------ Way-to-Gogh
The little bouncy nephew ----------------------------------- Poe Gogh
A sister who loved disco---------------------------------- Go Gogh
And his niece who travels the country in an RV --- Winnie Bay Gogh
I saw you smiling . . .. There ya Gogh
-
Will The Real Mitt Romney Please Stand Up (feat. Eminem) (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bxch-yi14BE#ws)
-
New Jack in the Box® HD Commercial - Marry It (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H4anFpVsbSw#ws)
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(http://www.tumblr.com/photo/1280/sprezz/13170345574/1/tumblr_lv11r3HWXs1qzmsff)
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That's awful. :LOL:
-
People are so unbelievably ignorant and cruel. No wonder I generally hate them.
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Like I said. Evil side. But that's me in shit-stirring mode. There is :-\ too.
-
I really do hate them! Evil people that is, like someone who ties a baloon and string around a birds necks. I hope they experience a similar fate one day, and same goes for anyone who thinks it's funny.
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(http://www.tumblr.com/photo/1280/sprezz/13170345574/1/tumblr_lv11r3HWXs1qzmsff)
Aww it looks tired... HAHAHAHAHAHAHA :mischief:
-
I really do hate them! Evil people that is, like someone who ties a baloon and string around a birds necks. I hope they experience a similar fate one day, and same goes for anyone who thinks it's funny.
Hm. You're going to have to half hate me then.
That's ok. Someday we'll go at it for real. There's always the callout forum.
It would be ironic as all hell if I turned up facedown on a street corner one day with a "Get well soon!" balloon tied around my neck.
-
I really do hate them! Evil people that is, like someone who ties a baloon and string around a birds necks. I hope they experience a similar fate one day, and same goes for anyone who thinks it's funny.
Hm. You're going to have to half hate me then.
That's ok. Someday we'll go at it for real. There's always the callout forum.
It would be ironic as all hell if I turned up facedown on a street corner one day with a "Get well soon!" balloon tied around my neck.
Same. Matter of fact if I did die, and someone tied that baloon around my neck, i'd LOL and give them a ghost high five. :green:
-
I really do hate them! Evil people that is, like someone who ties a baloon and string around a birds necks. I hope they experience a similar fate one day, and same goes for anyone who thinks it's funny.
Hm. You're going to have to half hate me then.
That's ok. Someday we'll go at it for real. There's always the callout forum.
It would be ironic as all hell if I turned up facedown on a street corner one day with a "Get well soon!" balloon tied around my neck.
Can't say I relate so there isn't anything to have a go about, love. lol!!
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Ah ok. :-*
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I'm sorry I cant giev u miye lisense, bird. U are a zombie goast!
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(http://failblog.files.wordpress.com/2012/03/dating-fails-dating-fails-forever-a-blogger.jpg)
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:stoned:
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(http://i.imgur.com/g5dNW.jpg)
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(http://static.fjcdn.com/pictures/Troll+dad+level+99.+This+is+original+and+I+m+sorry_597c38_3311159.png)
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Are you holding up a sign in front of me? Because I can't see the picture in the second post. :dunno:
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(http://www.trolino.com/image?id=9189)
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(http://cheezfailbooking.files.wordpress.com/2012/04/funny-facebook-fails-cut-my-love-into-pieces.png)
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bdzbdgzbdvf\dsv
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(http://a6.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash3/524199_10150656343931865_584316864_9286890_129121718_n.jpg)
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(http://i297.photobucket.com/albums/mm223/skyblue1110/wierd.jpg)
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(http://i297.photobucket.com/albums/mm223/skyblue1110/wierd.jpg)
Close relative? Strong family resemblance. Cute too.
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(http://i297.photobucket.com/albums/mm223/skyblue1110/wierd.jpg)
Close relative? Strong family resemblance. Cute too.
:2thumbsup:
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(http://cheezfailbooking.files.wordpress.com/2012/04/funny-facebook-fails-way-to-be-a-dick-clark1.jpg)
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(http://cheezfailbooking.files.wordpress.com/2012/04/funny-facebook-fails-checkmate-jesusfriends.gif)
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(http://chzdailywhat.files.wordpress.com/2012/04/lunchtime-links1.png)
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(http://cheezfailbooking.files.wordpress.com/2012/04/funny-facebook-fails-youre-right-megan-could-totally-do-better2.gif)
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(http://cheezfailbooking.files.wordpress.com/2012/04/funny-facebook-fails-in-soviet-russia-locker-opens-you2.gif)
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(http://hackedirl.files.wordpress.com/2012/04/epic-win-photos-road-name-win1.jpg)
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(http://mthruf.files.wordpress.com/2012/04/job-fails-that-door-is-alarmed.jpg)
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Well crossdressers need bras too :P :lol:
EDIT: herp derp, what's that apostrophe doing there :P
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(http://cheezfailbooking.files.wordpress.com/2012/04/funny-facebook-fails-social-activism.png)
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(http://cheezfailbooking.files.wordpress.com/2012/04/funny-facebook-fails-not-sure-if-romantic-or-creepy.png)
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(http://mthruf.files.wordpress.com/2012/04/job-fails-no-excuses-this-time.jpg)
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(http://cheezfailbooking.files.wordpress.com/2012/04/funny-facebook-fails-not-sure-if-romantic-or-creepy.png)
Was pig's name blurred out?
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(http://mthruf.files.wordpress.com/2012/04/job-fails-no-excuses-this-time.jpg)
:rofl: :plus:
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.
-
.
Longest
Joke
Ever
-
.
Longest
Joke
Ever
Yeah, but did you like it? :P
-
.
Longest
Joke
Ever
Yeah, but did you like it? :P
Yes, just took a while
-
Yeah, but did you like it? :P
Yes, just took a while
That's often considered a good thing, you know. :zoinks:
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(http://img403.imageshack.us/img403/4839/ukipsaynotohysteria.jpg)
(http://img560.imageshack.us/img560/2392/56302244085551261057420.jpg)
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(http://www.lolroflmao.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/07/3LMKq.jpg)
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(http://img3.imageshack.us/img3/7553/29879225614773775914722.jpg)
(http://img171.imageshack.us/img171/6971/40811019933619683102514.jpg)
(http://img594.imageshack.us/img594/9462/31018325336091803782922.jpg)
(http://img171.imageshack.us/img171/1285/29231824087349261990522.jpg)
(http://img818.imageshack.us/img818/4479/29184124234755247249922.jpg)
(http://img17.imageshack.us/img17/5664/30259114882402521557614.jpg)
(http://img441.imageshack.us/img441/3194/josephtomarythumb3.jpg)
(http://img844.imageshack.us/img844/2374/ymcajesushappyzombiejes.jpg)
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(http://jawdrops.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/WTF30.jpg)
Vegetarian Sex
-
(http://cheezfailbooking.files.wordpress.com/2012/05/funny-facebook-fails-parenting.png)
-
(http://failblog.files.wordpress.com/2012/05/epic-fail-photos-failbook-priorities-reconsidered.png)
-
(http://failblog.files.wordpress.com/2012/05/epic-fail-photos-school-of-fail-english-well-that-clears-up-a-lot-of-things.jpg)
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(http://mthruf.files.wordpress.com/2012/05/job-fails-well-played-amsterdam1.jpg)
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(http://failblog.files.wordpress.com/2012/05/epic-fail-photos-autocowrecks-if-you-ask-me-sara-shouldnt-have-been-on-the-swing-in-the-first-place.jpg)
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(http://hackedirl.files.wordpress.com/2012/05/epic-win-photos-tough-dude-win1.jpg)
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(http://failblog.files.wordpress.com/2012/05/epic-fail-photos-fail-nation-summertime-barbie-fail1.jpg)
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(http://mthruf.files.wordpress.com/2012/05/job-fails-paperclip-my-how-youve-changed.jpg)
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(http://hackedirl.files.wordpress.com/2012/05/epic-win-photos-tough-dude-win1.jpg)
I didn't know Odeon had tatoos.
-
Neither did I.
-
:tinfoil:
-
(http://failblog.files.wordpress.com/2012/05/epic-fail-photos-after-it-doesnt-matter-if-youre-a-pessimist-or-an-optimist1.jpg)
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(http://chzjustcapshunz.files.wordpress.com/2012/05/funny-animal-captions-mom-warned-us-not-to-play-with-static-electricity.jpg)
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Mattress Moving (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IQcSZ3lEp1Q#)
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(http://cheezfailbooking.files.wordpress.com/2012/05/funny-facebook-fails-amerifails1.png)
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(http://graphjam.files.wordpress.com/2012/05/funny-graphs-amendment.png)
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Michelle Bachmann is now a swiss citizen:
Now that she’s a Swiss citizen, Rep. Michele Bachmann (R-Minn.) can vote and run for office in the country, but won’t be subject to its health insurance mandate.
So what rights does Swiss citizenship confer?
It includes the option — some might say responsibility — to engage in the country’s participatory democracy. Each year, the country votes in four referendums relating to constitutional reform or grassroots-sponsored ballot questions; 100,000 votes are needed to trigger a referendum vote.
For example, had Bachmann been a Swiss citizen in 2005, she would have been eligible to vote in the landmark referendum legalizing absinthe, an alcoholic beverage with Swiss roots that had been constitutionally banned since October 1910.
Bachmann could vote via absentee ballot or the country’s online voting system. The country has about 5 million registered voters, according to ElectionGuide, with voter turnout ranging from 30 to 55 percent for each referendum.
However, Bachmann will not be forced to adhere to Switzerland’s health insurance mandate, which, in reference to President Barack Obama’s health care law, she has denounced as unconstitutional.
Read more: http://www.politico.com/news/stories/0512/76113.html#ixzz1uQM21hcn (http://www.politico.com/news/stories/0512/76113.html#ixzz1uQM21hcn)
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(http://graphjam.files.wordpress.com/2012/05/funny-graphs-amendment.png)
its OK, you can still marry your sister in North Carolina, so things are still calm in the trailer parks across the state :headbang2:
-
Michelle Bachmann is now a swiss citizen:
Now that she’s a Swiss citizen, Rep. Michele Bachmann (R-Minn.) can vote and run for office in the country, but won’t be subject to its health insurance mandate.
So what rights does Swiss citizenship confer?
It includes the option — some might say responsibility — to engage in the country’s participatory democracy. Each year, the country votes in four referendums relating to constitutional reform or grassroots-sponsored ballot questions; 100,000 votes are needed to trigger a referendum vote.
For example, had Bachmann been a Swiss citizen in 2005, she would have been eligible to vote in the landmark referendum legalizing absinthe, an alcoholic beverage with Swiss roots that had been constitutionally banned since October 1910.
Bachmann could vote via absentee ballot or the country’s online voting system. The country has about 5 million registered voters, according to ElectionGuide, with voter turnout ranging from 30 to 55 percent for each referendum.
However, Bachmann will not be forced to adhere to Switzerland’s health insurance mandate, which, in reference to President Barack Obama’s health care law, she has denounced as unconstitutional.
Read more: http://www.politico.com/news/stories/0512/76113.html#ixzz1uQM21hcn (http://www.politico.com/news/stories/0512/76113.html#ixzz1uQM21hcn)
Voting for women in Switzerland is a very fresh right.
-
That shows how serious she was about running for president.
-
http://acflr.org/ (http://acflr.org/)
My first thought: So what about people who know mommy prolly kept right on drinking?
-
(http://cheezfailbooking.files.wordpress.com/2012/05/funny-facebook-fails-realistic-compliment.jpg)
-
(http://cheezfailbooking.files.wordpress.com/2012/05/funny-facebook-fails-realistic-compliment.jpg)
Is that Meadow's new name?
-
(http://i299.photobucket.com/albums/mm296/macrosgalore/cat_mouse3.jpg)
-
(http://cheezfailbooking.files.wordpress.com/2012/05/funny-facebook-fails-the-best-way-to-get-dumped.gif)
-
(http://failblog.files.wordpress.com/2012/05/epic-fail-photos-there-i-fixed-it-this-toothbrush-is-electrifying.jpg)
-
(http://sphotos.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash3/562192_455693497793442_205344452828349_100697814_140615732_n.jpg)
-
(http://chzjustcapshunz.files.wordpress.com/2012/05/funny-animal-captions-some-concerns-are-shared-by-all-species.jpg)
-
(http://chzjustcapshunz.files.wordpress.com/2012/05/funny-animal-captions-i-was-just-trying-to-help.jpg)
-
http://chzdailywhat.files.wordpress.com/2012/05/marketing-campaign-of-the-day2.jpg
-
(http://mthruf.files.wordpress.com/2012/05/job-fails-are-you-pressing-a-button-down-shirt.jpg)
-
(http://failblog.files.wordpress.com/2012/05/epic-fail-photos-dating-fails-better-hope-she-doesnt-see-your-stash-of-foot-stuff.png)
-
(http://failblog.files.wordpress.com/2012/05/fashion-fail-poorly-dressed-plans-and-schemes-for-your-undergarments.jpg)
-
(http://cheezfailbooking.files.wordpress.com/2012/05/funny-facebook-fails-slpelnig-fial.jpg)
-
(http://failblog.files.wordpress.com/2012/05/epic-fail-photos-engrish-funny-shut-up-ramen-you-dont-know-me.jpg)
-
bride finds groom hard (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hIR_nzHQdjQ#ws)
-
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=vLcvCH1h1qk# (http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=vLcvCH1h1qk#)!
-
(http://cheezfailbooking.files.wordpress.com/2012/05/funny-facebook-fails-and-then-everyone-jumped-into-a-womb.jpg)
-
(http://failblog.files.wordpress.com/2012/05/epic-fail-photos-dating-fails-well-now-i-feel-way-better.png)
-
http://theoatmeal.com/pl/minor_differences/cutting_off (http://theoatmeal.com/pl/minor_differences/cutting_off)
-
Shia LeBeouf vs. Nonono Cat (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_-LTLRMza40#)
-
Jim Jefferies - Religion (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y-RJeqyh-vI#ws)
Jim Jefferies - Foreplay (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rNRHPr7Gabk#ws)
I like this Aussie comedian
-
(http://cheezfailbooking.files.wordpress.com/2012/05/funny-facebook-fails-defense-against-the-dark-parts1.jpg)
-
(http://cheezfailbooking.files.wordpress.com/2012/05/funny-facebook-fails-dr-dastardly.jpg)
-
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because she felt like it thats why.... Maybe she was on Menopause, then again.... I doubt birds can get menopause
-
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because she felt like it thats why.... Maybe she was on Menopause, then again.... I doubt birds can get menopause
Why did the duck cross the road?
To prove that it wasn't a chicken.
Why did the chewing gum cross the road?
Because it was stuck to the duck's foot.
-
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because she felt like it thats why.... Maybe she was on Menopause, then again.... I doubt birds can get menopause
Why did the duck cross the road?
To prove that it wasn't a chicken.
Why did the chewing gum cross the road?
Because it was stuck to the duck's foot.
Why can't Ke$ha sing without autotune?
Because she sucks at singing thats why!!!
-
I'm sure this is familiar to most of you, but here's a refresher laugh.
(http://media-cache1.pinterest.com/upload/106749453637957469_8ppu43hZ_c.jpg)
-
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because she felt like it thats why.... Maybe she was on Menopause, then again.... I doubt birds can get menopause
They can, but it's called ovopause I believe.
-
I think...
I can't find anything on it...So maybe I'm making it up?
-
fashion FAILs, Parenting FAILs, your personal health FAILs… THERE’S JUST TOO MUCH TO HANDLE HERE.
(http://failblog.files.wordpress.com/2012/06/epic-fail-photos-poorly-dressed-too-much-fail-cannot-compute.jpg)
-
:zombiefuck:
-
(http://failblog.files.wordpress.com/2012/06/dating-fails-dating-fails-a-match-made-in-diablo-heaven.png)
-
fashion FAILs, Parenting FAILs, your personal health FAILs… THERE’S JUST TOO MUCH TO HANDLE HERE.
(http://failblog.files.wordpress.com/2012/06/epic-fail-photos-poorly-dressed-too-much-fail-cannot-compute.jpg)
Alabama Crimson Tide cup and a Kansas t-shirt on the boy? They must have some heavy arguments over college football.
-
(http://mthruf.files.wordpress.com/2012/06/job-fails-foreveryone-alone1.jpg)
-
(http://chzsomuchpun.files.wordpress.com/2012/06/funny-puns-untitled1.jpg)
-
(http://graphjam.files.wordpress.com/2012/06/funny-graphs-how-to-be-a-panda1.jpg)
-
(http://failblog.files.wordpress.com/2012/06/party-fails-after-it-just-slipped-my-mind.jpg)
-
(http://hackedirl.files.wordpress.com/2012/06/epic-win-photos-batmobile-collection-win.jpg)
-
(http://failblog.files.wordpress.com/2012/06/epic-fail-photos-music-fails-eat-me-maybe.png)
-
(http://media-cache3.pinterest.com/upload/57632070201832827_BGt09Brm_b.jpg)
-
It is impossible to lick
your elbow
At least 75% of
people who read this will try
to lick their elbow!
-
(http://failblog.files.wordpress.com/2012/06/dating-fails-dating-fails-a-match-made-in-diablo-heaven.png)
D'awww :2thumbsup:
-
(http://failblog.files.wordpress.com/2012/06/dating-fails-dating-fails-a-match-made-in-diablo-heaven.png)
D'awww :2thumbsup:
I can think of at least one far better thing to do in that position than play Diablo.
-
(http://failblog.files.wordpress.com/2012/06/dating-fails-dating-fails-a-match-made-in-diablo-heaven.png)
D'awww :2thumbsup:
I can think of at least one far better thing to do in that position than play Diablo.
read e-books? :autism:
-
(http://failblog.files.wordpress.com/2012/06/dating-fails-dating-fails-you-dont-believe-in-the-sex-gods-you-heathen.png)
-
Stop That!
(http://chzanimalgifs.files.wordpress.com/2012/06/funny-animal-gifs-stop-that.gif)
-
read e-books? :autism:
Post on I2 :viking:
-
(http://chzhistoriclols.files.wordpress.com/2012/06/funny-pictures-history-this-couple-is-scientifically-perfect.jpg)
-
(http://chzlolcats.files.wordpress.com/2012/06/funny-cat-pictures-owww-bite-me-is-just-an-expression-dude.jpg)
-
(http://chzlolcats.files.wordpress.com/2012/06/funny-cat-pictures-there-was-a-fly-the-point-is-i-got-it.jpg)
-
(http://chzjustcapshunz.files.wordpress.com/2012/06/funny-animal-captions-disbelief-they-has-it.jpg)
-
(http://chzjustcapshunz.files.wordpress.com/2012/06/funny-animal-captions-fluffy-gives-in-to-peer-pressure-and-gets-his-tongue-pierced.jpg)
-
(http://media2.ongein.nl/ONGEIN.NL_7442?source=2008/kikkersla.jpg)
(https://fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash3/575338_327605187318498_1781878990_n.jpg)
(http://www.quiterly.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/How-long.jpg)
-
(http://www.quiterly.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/How-long.jpg)
She has gorgeous eyes
-
(http://www.quiterly.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/How-long.jpg)
She has gorgeous eyes
She has eyes? :dunno:
-
(http://www.quiterly.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/How-long.jpg)
She has gorgeous eyes
She has eyes? :dunno:
Yeah and they're mesmerizing... They attract my attention more than her oversized breasts do.
-
^ I just think she has a beautiful personality. :autism:
-
^ I just think she has a beautiful personality. :autism:
I don't know what kind of personality is there if she can't even work out how to put a bra on :bounce:
:apondering:
-
(http://www.quiterly.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/How-long.jpg)
She has gorgeous eyes
She has eyes? :dunno:
Yeah and they're mesmerizing... They attract my attention more than her oversized breasts do.
Well, duh :)
-
(http://www.quiterly.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/How-long.jpg)
She has gorgeous eyes
She has eyes? :dunno:
Yeah and they're mesmerizing... They attract my attention more than her oversized breasts do.
Well, duh :)
Well duh what?
-
(http://www.quiterly.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/How-long.jpg)
She has gorgeous eyes
She has eyes? :dunno:
Yeah and they're mesmerizing... They attract my attention more than her oversized breasts do.
Well, duh :)
Well duh what?
:lol1:
-
God Will Fuck You Up (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pFzlX9X3E18#)
-
(http://www.quiterly.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/How-long.jpg)
What an odd place for buttons.
-
Those aren't buttons...she's not wearing a bra.
-
Those aren't buttons...she's not wearing a bra.
(http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_kFkylFdf2Ps/SUqXOhyTgHI/AAAAAAAABYQ/o61MGBTlDYk/s400/captainobvious.jpg)
-
(http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v249/danny0023/demotivational-posters-demotivating-posters-funny-posters-marriage-pistol-guns-court-house-coincidence.jpg)
-
(https://fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-prn1/557227_263164757122338_414893746_n.jpg)
(http://laughingsquid.com/wp-content/uploads/drunk-octopus-20101221-194404.jpg)
(https://fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash3/553308_438142496207287_1598198823_n.jpg)
-
Ad random..
(http://imgsrv4.funzu.com/2012/03/Hilarious-Before-and-After-Images-001.jpg)
(http://www.cheshirecatstudios.com/forum/resources/image/2997)
(http://www.cheshirecatstudios.com/forum/resources/no-one-hates-hula-hoops/3008)
(http://www.cheshirecatstudios.com/forum/resources/image/3017)
-
Always a classic, though it wasn't meant to be funny, really.
"Carlo. Put your fingers like this. And then say: 'I can't eat the rice.'"
"I can't eat the rice."
"Eat shit then."
Salò o le 120 giornate di Sodoma - Il riso (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l2XzE2rgTGY#)
-
Mock The Week - Best "Scenes We'd Like to See" That You've Never Seen (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eXBqHkNTGTA#ws)
-
A German joke. Clue: "wer" means "who" in German and is conjugated.
One night a werewolf went to a schoolteacher's grave and woke him up.
"Conjugate me", he said.
"Der Werwolf", said the good man.
"Des Weswolfs, genitiv so"
"Dem Wemwolf, dativ, as it's called."
"Den Wenwolf, and that's all".
Poor werewolf! He had wife and children, though! He went away in a disastrous mood. Well, there are many wolves, but wer just exists in singular.
-
Fascinating and intruging....no doubt. But means fuck to to me
-
(http://img585.imageshack.us/img585/9383/60242532118343130715212.jpg)
(http://img189.imageshack.us/img189/2613/32036132795538395883895.jpg)
-
(http://img703.imageshack.us/img703/6041/59952344998458169862512.jpg)
(http://img402.imageshack.us/img402/4650/32036533393747669100017.jpg)
-
(http://img228.imageshack.us/img228/9190/54813033303515678123258.jpg)
(http://img836.imageshack.us/img836/771/56335149122983090647520.jpg)
(http://img822.imageshack.us/img822/7705/38062032527676089252314.jpg)
-
Rita Hayworth Is Stayin' Alive (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mz3CPzdCDws#)
This makes me so happy.
Also, I want to mug her for that green dress.
-
(http://abstrusegoose.com/strips/lie_of_omission.JPG)
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(http://hackedirl.files.wordpress.com/2012/07/epic-win-photos-ad-selection-win.jpg)
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This Week in Unnecessary Censorship (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MvKcyg4CHJM#ws)
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:eyebrow:
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(http://chzsomuchpun.files.wordpress.com/2012/07/funny-puns-naughty-pillow-fight.jpg)
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8)
"Saló ou 120 dias de Sodoma" de Pier Paolo Pasolini (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f-pYw99Xut8#ws)
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(http://cheezfailbooking.files.wordpress.com/2012/07/funny-facebook-fails-no-mom-stop.png)
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(http://cheezfailbooking.files.wordpress.com/2012/07/funny-facebook-fails-no-mom-stop.png)
The best part is the spelling of aisle. :autism:
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"No" and "Mum" were correct though. Daughter got the spelling gene
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But it says "MOM"...
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But it says "MOM"...
It's recessive.
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(http://quicklol.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/owl-pants.jpg)
(http://www.jimmyr.com/blog/img/1107_30_344_2007.jpg)
(http://quicklol.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/want-to-go-for-a-walk.gif)
(http://quicklol.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/tiger-rabbit.jpg)
(http://quicklol.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/call.jpg)
(http://quicklol.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/06/horse.jpg)
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48-Year-Old Man Actually Very Open To Dating 25-Year-Olds
WILMETTE, IL—Describing himself as "open-minded" and "very willing to try new things," 48-year-old law firm partner Richard Bogan told reporters Saturday that, as unconventional as it may sound, he's actually quite receptive to the idea of dating 25-year-old women.
"I know we wouldn't have very much in common and would probably have completely different values, but I think those are obstacles I would be able to overcome," said Bogan, who added that after giving the matter a lot of thought, he had to admit the concept of getting involved with an attractive woman in her mid-20s very much appealed to him. "While you might think I'd be embarrassed to be seen with someone young enough to be my daughter, at this point in my life, I'm comfortable enough with who I am not to care what people think about me."
"I'm not saying it's for everybody, but for me personally, if the opportunity came along to engage in a romantic relationship with a woman just a couple years out of college, I'd be willing to give it a shot," Bogan continued. "But hey, that's just me."
Bogan said he was "fully aware" there were many differences between himself and 25-year-old women, citing, in particular, their youthful temperaments, taut figures, and the more trendy, revealing clothing they often wear. However, despite such generational dissimilarities, Bogan confirmed he would still consider going out with someone that age.
In fact, Bogan stated he would likely be "totally fine with it," even if the young woman were Asian.
"Look, I understand that a far younger woman would have much less life experience and be in an inferior financial position, but I think I would still be okay with dating her," Bogan said. "You know, I actually have quite a bit of money, and I wouldn't be averse to spending some of it to keep her happy. Maybe I could take her on a luxurious vacation or pay for her to go shopping. Who knows? A 25-year-old woman might even find that enjoyable."
Recognizing that some men might be ashamed of a two- decade age difference or attempt to hide such a relationship, the middle-aged Chicago attorney said he would in many ways be proud, actually, to be seen alongside a gorgeous young woman. Bogan went on to say he would be very much willing to introduce a 25-year-old woman to his friends and colleagues, as well as spend time with her and her equally young female friends at trendy night spots.
"If she wanted me to try certain fashions that I would never in a million years choose for myself but that she thought made me more attractive—like wearing skintight shirts or growing out a goatee—I could probably make that work," Bogan said. "I'd also be willing to listen to music and attend concerts that would make a man of my age look completely out of place, if she wanted. I guess I'm just an easygoing guy in that way."
"I know, I know—a young, fit, 25-year-old yoga instructor seems like the last type of woman I'd be interested in," Bogan said while smiling and shaking his head. "But I am who I am, you know?"
According to Bogan, even if a 25-year-old were more sexually adventurous than he was accustomed to, he believed that would be something he could deal with.
While acknowledging he does not know how his feelings will evolve as the years pass, Bogan said he could see himself being open to dating 25-year-olds well into his 60s or 70s.
Bogan also mentioned that if things didn't work out with one 25-year-old, he wouldn't rule out trying it again.
"It sounds crazy, but a really, really good-looking twentysomething woman is actually a huge turn-on for me," Bogan said. "I can't quite put my finger on it, but it seems there's just something about intellectually unchallenging, fitter, more youthful-looking women that I'm very drawn to."
But regardless of his self-described "open-minded" approach toward dating, Bogan confirmed there were some characteristics in women he considered nonstarters.
"I've met a lot of 49- and 50-year-olds, and frankly, we just don't seem to connect," Bogan said. "There's no spark, no attraction. While it might work for other people, I'm personally not really open to the idea of dating older women."
"We all have our boundaries," Bogan added.
Onion (http://www.theonion.com/articles/48yearold-man-actually-very-open-to-dating-25yearo,27339/)
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(http://chzjustcapshunz.files.wordpress.com/2012/07/funny-animal-captions-and-she-doesnt-make-idle-chit-chat-either.jpg)
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(http://chzjustcapshunz.files.wordpress.com/2012/07/funny-animal-captions-and-she-doesnt-make-idle-chit-chat-either.jpg)
Gee, Bodie got her hair done! (Just joking Bodie, you don't look anything like a horse, but you're the only one on here that I know has long blonde hair)
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(https://i.chzbgr.com/completestore/12/7/16/YhazYyW3zEW9xC-HE-l8xQ2.jpg)
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This is pretty funny:
Pig (23) Captain_Cockstrong (164) + In Europe ugly children often gang-rape the elderly. In PM Today at 10:06:00 AM
Pig (23) Captain_Cockstrong (164) + We all say HI. We all say HI DEATH. In PM Yesterday at 08:05:04 PM
Pig (23) Captain_Cockstrong (164) + Bones rain down upon us; the remnants of our past. In PM Yesterday at 06:53:23 PM
Pig (23) Captain_Cockstrong (164) + I own a lizard, a zebra, a hollowed out corpse, and a dolly. In PM Yesterday at 05:49:15 PM
Pig (23) Captain_Cockstrong (164) + I tugged the goblins nose and he said "thank you." In PM Yesterday at 04:36:15 PM
Pig (23) Captain_Cockstrong (164) + Rugged chairs cut me to ribbons on extra birthdays. In PM Yesterday at 03:16:49 PM
Pig (23) Captain_Cockstrong (164) + I once thought I was ugly, then I realized I was hideous. In PM Yesterday at 02:05:41 PM
Pig (23) Captain_Cockstrong (164) + Ghoulies are now appearing in a toilet near you. In PM Yesterday at 11:55:12 AM
Pig (23) Captain_Cockstrong (164) + Funky turds dancing down my throat. In PM July 22, 2012, 08:23:58 PM
Pig (23) Captain_Cockstrong (164) + I think we should all get a dozen genitals. In PM July 22, 2012, 06:53:16 PM
Pig (23) Captain_Cockstrong (164) + Few people realize how fun strangling a dog can be. In PM July 22, 2012, 04:35:44 PM
Pig (23) Captain_Cockstrong (164) + Yup, you guessed it - that's not butter. In PM July 22, 2012, 03:24:11 PM
Pig (23) Captain_Cockstrong (164) + Thanks for exchanging brains so I could live in your body! In PM July 22, 2012, 01:59:16 PM
Pig (23) Captain_Cockstrong (164) + I was going to vomit, but then I remembered to plus you. In PM July 22, 2012, 12:35:04 PM
Pig (23) Captain_Cockstrong (164) + You bow down to my god and It rewards thee. In PM July 22, 2012, 11:25:10 AM
Pig (23) Captain_Cockstrong (164) + Why is it that ugly people crawl out of my ass? In PM July 22, 2012, 10:03:52 AM
Pig (23) Captain_Cockstrong (164) + Poisoned wine tastes so fine. In PM July 22, 2012, 08:39:39 AM
Pig (23) Captain_Cockstrong (164) + When they picked me up, my limbs fell off. In PM July 22, 2012, 12:13:34 AM
Pig (23) Captain_Cockstrong (164) + For making me lick the statue clean. And thrusting. In PM July 21, 2012, 11:10:36 PM
Pig (23) Captain_Cockstrong (164) + Life is for the achievement! In PM July 21, 2012, 09:37:08 PM
Pig (23) Captain_Cockstrong (164) + Only twenty clams swallowed my baby set of testicles. In PM July 21, 2012, 07:50:20 PM
Pig (23) Captain_Cockstrong (164) + Jesus commanded me to kill muslims and plus you. In PM July 21, 2012, 06:46:52 PM
Pig (23) Captain_Cockstrong (164) + It really moved me when you said, "I like butts." In PM July 21, 2012, 02:42:01 PM
Pig (23) Captain_Cockstrong (164) + For handing me my hat. In PM July 21, 2012, 07:31:17 AM
Pig (23) Captain_Cockstrong (164) + Drug related illnesses make up more than 100% of my face. In PM July 20, 2012, 08:07:06 PM
Pig (23) Captain_Cockstrong (164) + I take life and all its many toilets seriously. In PM July 20, 2012, 07:03:02 PM
Pig (23) Captain_Cockstrong (164) + Robots need love too. In PM July 20, 2012, 04:23:38 PM
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who is captain cockstrung?
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who is captain cockstrung?
DuckFetishGirl
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ah ok, cheers
www.youtube.com/watch?v=zEDFMKjhLRw (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zEDFMKjhLRw#ws)
-
(http://img221.imageshack.us/img221/7820/ftyygu.jpg)
(http://img62.imageshack.us/img62/327/tgyg.jpg)
(http://img69.imageshack.us/img69/6366/yuhj.jpg)
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(http://img17.imageshack.us/img17/3725/59937533700830638391716.jpg)
(http://img849.imageshack.us/img849/4213/28371046704406999603517.jpg)
(http://img402.imageshack.us/img402/3484/55640036349181705437011.jpg)
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(https://i.chzbgr.com/completestore/12/7/19/D8GCDkvcJUeSwnlnmD6Hlw2.png)
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(https://i.chzbgr.com/completestore/12/7/18/_76hfM0vQ0OCZ2lm_WqIjQ2.jpg)
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(https://i.chzbgr.com/completestore/12/7/19/3RjNWPc2m0mbQWaRdDIHcg2.jpg)
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(https://i.chzbgr.com/completestore/12/7/23/Vv46i5i650KqNdx1ZZiEWQ2.png)
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(https://i.chzbgr.com/completestore/12/7/19/hNN94U-1hU-f8MhuBwWHvQ2.jpg)
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www.youtube.com/watch?v=_tLaMf5W_vE (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_tLaMf5W_vE#)
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The white one has the right idea when it comes to treadmills :laugh:
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Loved the Siamese and the two Burmese. :heart:
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http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/football/7109058.stm (http://news.bbc.co.uk/sport1/hi/football/7109058.stm)
(not actually about football btw, for those of u put off by the link lol)
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Goddamn ICHZ getting weird about having pics linked. Half my posts are coming up blank now.
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^ Well, if it's any consolation.. I laughed. (without seeing any of the pics)
(sørry)
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Goddamn ICHZ getting weird about having pics linked. Half my posts are coming up blank now.
I think our word filters happened. Blame Brucie.
Maybe I should remove the filters now....
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(http://img228.imageshack.us/img228/9457/53488240843687253648614.jpg)
(http://img341.imageshack.us/img341/2717/56104240119995661049258.jpg)
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Goddamn ICHZ getting weird about having pics linked. Half my posts are coming up blank now.
I think our word filters happened. Blame Brucie.
Maybe I should remove the filters now....
Except the "Besides, my asshole hurts" one.
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(http://failblog.files.wordpress.com/2012/07/music-fails-music-fails-axl-troll.jpg)
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fuck you, image filter.
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Where's the fun in Jimmy's approach?
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fuck you, image filter.
Image filter?
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If only Jimmy's friends would shut the fuck up too :zoinks:
-
(http://img545.imageshack.us/img545/8872/31315950194730316806114.jpg)
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fuck you, image filter.
Image filter?
I think our word filters happened. Blame Brucie.
Maybe I should remove the filters now....
Fine. Word filters, then. They block images?
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yeh they need to go. bruce has been gone for ages now
pmselle - they block certain image links iirc. i thought it was just photobucket, but I guess it's some other part of the url
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Goddamn ICHZ getting weird about having pics linked. Half my posts are coming up blank now.
That site was censored but I fixed it so it isn't anymore.
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fuck you, image filter.
Image filter?
I think our word filters happened. Blame Brucie.
Maybe I should remove the filters now....
Fine. Word filters, then. They block images?
Sorry. I forgot. :-[
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^ bitch!
here are some action shots from the olympic diving
(http://img819.imageshack.us/img819/5753/31532350248607978085086.jpg)
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(http://i47.photobucket.com/albums/f161/jyorton/Funny%20random%20pictures/shit.jpg)
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(http://i47.photobucket.com/albums/f161/jyorton/Funny%20random%20pictures/shit.jpg)
Or a cat's idea of ecstasy.
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Going To Heaven Drunk (http://youtu.be/GzuEi0HWDR0)Going To Heaven Drunk - Rodney Carrington (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GzuEi0HWDR0#ws)
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Whether it's true or not, at least it's humorous
BEST LAWYER STORY OF THE YEAR, DECADE AND PROBABLY THE CENTURY. Charlotte, North Carolina.
A lawyer purchased a box of very rare and expensive cigars, and then insured them against, among other things, fire.
Within a month, having smoked his entire stockpile of these great cigars and without yet having made even his first
premium payment on the policy the lawyer filed a claim against the insurance company.
In his claim, the lawyer stated the cigars were lost 'in a series of small fires.' The insurance company refused to pay,
citing the obvious reason, that the man had consumed the cigars in the normal fashion. The lawyer sued and WON! (Stay with me.)
Delivering the ruling, the judge agreed with the insurance company that the claim was frivolous. The judge stated nevertheless,
that the lawyer held a policy from the company, which it had warranted that the cigars were insurable and also guaranteed that
it would insure them against fire, without defining what is considered to be unacceptable 'fire' and was obligated to pay the claim.
Rather than endure lengthy and costly appeal process, the insurance company accepted the ruling and paid $15,000 to the lawyer
for his loss of the cigars lost in the 'fires'.
NOW FOR THE BEST PART..
After the lawyer cashed the check, the insurance company had him arrested on 24 counts of ARSON!!! With his own insurance claim
and testimony from the previous case being used against him, the lawyer was convicted of intentionally burning his insured property
and was sentenced to 24 months in jail and a $24,000 fine. This is a true story and was the First Place winner in the recent Criminal Lawyers Award Contest.
ONLY IN AMERICA,
NO WONDER THIRD WORLD COUNTRIES THINK WE'RE NUTS
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There are several problems with that story from an insurance law standpoint, but funny none the less :)
-
(https://i.chzbgr.com/completestore/12/8/1/Qz-iZttIwkOnwvHqhPfN6Q2.jpg)
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The Ultimate People Walking Into Stuff Compilation (http://youtu.be/u33ivAO_Zyk)The Ultimate People Walking Into Stuff Compilation (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u33ivAO_Zyk#ws)
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(http://icanhascheezburger.files.wordpress.com/2012/08/funny-animal-captions-animal-capshunz-the-calorie-counter.jpg)
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(http://icanhascheezburger.files.wordpress.com/2012/08/funny-animal-captions-animal-capshunz-the-calorie-counter.jpg)
Reminds me of me mother. *squawk*
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(http://chzlolcats.files.wordpress.com/2012/08/funny-cat-pictures-well-apparently-i-am-a-dirty-little-girl-after-all.jpg)
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(http://chzlolcats.files.wordpress.com/2012/08/funny-cat-pictures-what.jpg)
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(http://chzlolcats.files.wordpress.com/2012/08/funny-cat-pictures-may-ceiling-cat-have-mercy-on-your-soul.jpg)
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(http://chzlolcats.files.wordpress.com/2012/08/funny-cat-pictures-karma-takes-too-long.jpg)
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(http://sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-prn1/625576_420465947990106_1227283106_n.jpg)
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NO WONDER THIRD WORLD COUNTRIES THINK WE'RE NUTS
No, the First and Second World countries do too.
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>:D
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>:D
Did you make that yourself, or did you find it on your "can't spell and proud" forum?
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why am I always answering your questions? its not like you are a credibale attornery or a court of law right?
or
are you just practicing for the real thing?
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So many new words :)
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So many new words :)
One word the PR coined was "tensious", when you're tense and anxious.
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So many new words :)
One word the PR coined was "tensious", when you're tense and anxious.
So if you're tense, anxious, and trying to con someone, are you contentious?
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Pueeeeeeeella! :arrr:
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So many new words :)
One word the PR coined was "tensious", when you're tense and anxious.
So if you're tense, anxious, and trying to con someone, are you contentious?
Yup
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(http://ts4.mm.bing.net/images/thumbnail.aspx?q=4521768016283115&id=82a4c003a61c648c11edda47e66331a4)
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In German this time 8)
So kann ich den Reis nicht essen. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EJpQHCZKQvo#)
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(http://i594.photobucket.com/albums/tt27/IllicoPresto/Motivational/EducationalToys.jpg)
(http://i594.photobucket.com/albums/tt27/IllicoPresto/Motivational/DuctTape.jpg)
(http://i594.photobucket.com/albums/tt27/IllicoPresto/Motivational/Crayons.jpg)
(http://i594.photobucket.com/albums/tt27/IllicoPresto/Motivational/Comics.jpg)
(http://i594.photobucket.com/albums/tt27/IllicoPresto/Motivational/Compromise.jpg)
(http://i594.photobucket.com/albums/tt27/IllicoPresto/Motivational/GayTest15.jpg)
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I love this little guy! :heart:
Teddy The Asshole Cat (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b_mVb-G1v1I#ws)
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If anyone recoginzes himself in one of these, I won't tell if you won't. A bouquet of blond male jokes. (Notice blond is correctly spelled.)
A friend told the blond man: "Christmas is on a Friday this year." The blond man then said, "Let's hope it's not the 13th."
------------------------------------
Two blond men find three grenades, and they decide to take
them to a police station. One asked: "What if one explodes before we get there?" The other says: "We'll lie and say we only found two."
------------------------------------
A woman phoned her blonde neighbor man and said: "Close your curtains the next time you & your wife are having sex. The whole street was watching and laughing at you yesterday." To which the blonde man replied: "Well the joke's on all of you because I wasn't even at home yesterday."
------------------------------------
A blonde man is in the bathroom and his wife shouts: "Did you find the shampoo?" He answers, "Yes, but I'm not sure what to do... it's for dry hair, and I've just wet mine."
------------------------------
A blonde man goes to the vet with his goldfish. "I think it's got epilepsy," he tells the vet. The vet takes a look and says, "It seems calm enough to me." The blonde man says, "Wait, I haven't taken it out of the bowl yet."
------------------------------------
A blond man spies a letter lying on his doormat. It says on the envelope "DO NOT BEND ". He spends the next 2 hours trying to figure out how to pick it up. (I had to think about this one a minute -- could it be because I'm blond?)
------------------------------------
A blond man shouts frantically into the phone "My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart!"
"Is this her first child?" asks the Doctor. "No!" he shouts, "this is her husband!"
------------------------------------
A blonde man was driving home, drunk as a skunk. Suddenly he has to swerve to avoid a tree, then another, then another. A cop car pulls him over, so he tells the cop about all the trees in the road. The cop says, "That's your air freshener swinging about!"
------------------------------------
A blonde man's dog goes missing and he is frantic. His wife says "Why don't you put an ad in the paper?" He does, but two weeks later the dog is still missing. "What did you put in the paper?" his wife asks. "Here boy!" he replies.
------------------------------------
A blond man is in jail. Guard looks in his cell and sees him
hanging by his feet. "Just WHAT are you doing?" he asks.
"Hanging myself," the blond replies. "It should be around your neck" says the guard. "I tried that," he replies, "but then I couldn't breathe."
------------------------------------
(This one actually makes sense.)
An Italian tourist asks a blonde man: "Why do Scuba divers
always fall backwards off their boats?" To which the blonde man replies: "If they fell forward, they'd still be in the boat."
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(http://icanhascheezburger.files.wordpress.com/2012/08/funny-pictures-if-you-want-my-help-dawg-im-gonna-need-the-full-story1.jpg)
-
(http://a5.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash3/551259_10151031154237545_1263955001_n.jpg)
(http://a8.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/s480x480/376621_375207922551960_38022401_n.jpg)
(http://a4.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/283895_424229810945987_169620151_n.jpg)
(http://a2.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/292334_10151996269180398_853994613_n.jpg)
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(http://forum.maximumfitnessconsulting.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2010/01/cookie-pic.jpg)
-
:2thumbsup:
THE DICKHEAD SONG (original REVENGE song) by Miles Betterman (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=my7sxZ0KfHU#)
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(http://img705.imageshack.us/img705/7599/55833410151187236661800.jpg)
(http://img109.imageshack.us/img109/6062/54237635877569419692216.jpg)
(http://img232.imageshack.us/img232/4914/52720042353412769357216.jpg)
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(https://i.chzbgr.com/completestore/12/8/13/Kp8123kFM06eKZaqmRWZzg2.jpg)
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(https://i.chzbgr.com/completestore/12/8/23/3N0JHHc7ekOy72hd40nLUg2.png)
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(http://cdn.memegenerator.net/instances/400x/25741606.jpg)
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Um, maybe best to not have your parrot (his/her housing) in the bedroom.
Parrot who saw sex imitates it (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nnpvX2AKxjk#)
(sørry)
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(https://i.chzbgr.com/completestore/12/8/27/vD1awGgJ5EKhFLV-kF8PWQ2.png)
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(https://i.chzbgr.com/completestore/12/8/22/nnB8RH9nYU2YKLHUl05YdQ2.png)
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That is somehow disturbing
-
(https://i.chzbgr.com/completestore/12/8/16/mOJouFvuO0O47-_lntE-aA2.jpg)
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(https://i.chzbgr.com/completestore/12/8/16/mOJouFvuO0O47-_lntE-aA2.jpg)
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(https://i.chzbgr.com/completestore/12/9/2/Pl9UZTJ6lUqigX7YXC2bjA2.jpg)
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(https://i.chzbgr.com/completestore/12/8/30/pLXnvbYzRUugUvZozPxqPg2.jpg)
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(https://i.chzbgr.com/completestore/12/6/20/N2CkTclbRUihTQlg_HFfag2.jpg)
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(https://i.chzbgr.com/completestore/12/8/30/pLXnvbYzRUugUvZozPxqPg2.jpg)
Kit?
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PA was working in the (privacy fenced) back yard in his underwear when Air Force One flew over. I'm expecting Homeland Security to knock on the door at any moment.
-
(https://i.chzbgr.com/completestore/12/8/30/IfUctNi9r0Sw3R2G7irK5w2.jpg)
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(https://i.chzbgr.com/completestore/12/8/31/UxeJE3kUx0OsLS8-f2oAlg2.jpg)
-
https://i.chzbgr.com/completestore/12/8/22/P7WxjLC0fkODn7gFQNgCnA2.png
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(https://i.chzbgr.com/completestore/12/8/31/5BYUGoNL40SAdJXjZ8wOBw2.jpg)
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Check out this video on YouTube:
Star Trek | Robot Chicken | Adult Swim (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ktg5fwhXWc0#)
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(https://i.chzbgr.com/completestore/12/8/31/YlKeruOMDEaCypZ0IM9rYg2.png)
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(http://quicklol.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/cow-photobomb.jpg)
(http://quicklol.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/bear.jpg)
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(http://cdn.iwastesomuchtime.com/5202012231653Dontjudge.jpg)
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(http://cdn.iwastesomuchtime.com/5202012231653Dontjudge.jpg)
cute..........I'm gonna pass that forward
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(http://files.myopera.com/Cois/blog/1ah-children.jpg)
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(http://files.myopera.com/Cois/blog/1folded_arms.jpg)
MUST REASSESS BONER HIDING STRATEGY
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(https://i.chzbgr.com/completestore/12/9/6/r7gPBcpfC0KZAUZTB5_HsA2.png)
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Wait, since when is there a book of the bible called Haephestus?
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(https://i.chzbgr.com/completestore/12/9/5/dCmaVvG55k-K26qX8pcbgw2.jpg)
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@ Pyraxis
Its there, in the bullshit section
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(https://i.chzbgr.com/completestore/12/8/27/_kbAteSCcUaBoEIQp9HuWQ2.jpg)
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(https://i.chzbgr.com/completestore/12/8/29/QnO-cY9ZzUa4BjJAanZG1Q2.png)
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mjhnbgvfy
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ijogytfr
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frtdgyui
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dxcfgv
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(https://i.chzbgr.com/completestore/12/9/10/ZfnYf8_8SUmK3mv5tmVTKQ2.png)
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This whole page is funny! How do those condoms work. Do they activate when open or by heat? The technological possibilities fascinate me. How do you link it yourself to record via GPS your location?
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(https://i.chzbgr.com/completestore/12/9/10/7fSecW0ZyEudr9wLLh463A2.jpg)
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(https://i.chzbgr.com/completestore/12/9/6/Ad-bVFeJ8EGmUJbdhZYEpw2.png)
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(https://i.chzbgr.com/completestore/12/9/12/qh-o1ZJGIEah0isgvsHF_A2.jpg)
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(https://i.chzbgr.com/completestore/12/9/11/hhBH6AAhukOa3t1tLOcYpQ2.jpg)
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(http://sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-prn1/150166_10151076906137545_497472688_n.jpg)
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Following in the high tone footsteps of this topic, I present an announcement for those of us who are a "certain age."
:wine: :wine: :wine: :wine: :wine: :wine: :wine: :wine: :wine: :wine: :wine: :wine: :wine: :wine: :wine: :wine: :wine: :wine: :wine: :wine: :wine: :wine: :wine: :wine: :wine: :wine: :wine: :wine:
NEW WINE FOR SENIORS
I kid you not... A single glass at night could mean a peaceful, uninterrupted nights sleep.
California vintners in the Napa Valley area, which primarily produce Pinot Blanc, Pinot Noir, and Pinot Grigio wines, have developed a new hybrid grape that acts as an anti-diuretic.
It is expected to reduce the number of trips older people have to make to the bathroom during the night.
The new wine will be marketed as
PINO MORE
I HEARD IT THROUGH THE GRAPEVINE!!
I just could not hold it in any longer!
:pee: :wine:
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Think you're doing it wrong..
(http://media2.ongein.nl/ONGEIN.NL_18093?source=2012/1347022523_027.jpg)
(http://a4.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-prn1/556483_378855865521795_1511604297_n.jpg) :autism:
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(http://verydemotivational.files.wordpress.com/2012/06/demotivational-posters-like-a-boss3.jpg)
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(http://a4.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-prn1/556483_378855865521795_1511604297_n.jpg)
Looks like he's lifting with his back, not his legs. :thumbdn:
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True, surely goes for lifting heavier things.. but think, a chick weighs less than an ounce. Don't worry, circle-head there will be fine. :laugh:
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Fifty Shades of Grey for sale next to a special offer for Duracell batteries in Sainsburys.
http://www.londonspinonline.com/2012/07/sainsburys-sells-raunchy-book-fifty.html (http://www.londonspinonline.com/2012/07/sainsburys-sells-raunchy-book-fifty.html)
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Pssshhhh. If you're using AA or AAA batteries in a high-drain device that you use often, you should go with rechargeables.
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Pssshhhh. If you're using AA or AAA batteries in a high-drain device that you use often, you should go with rechargeables.
If you can afford to keep buying alkalines, they give a higher voltage than NiMH (1.5v vs 1.2v), so electric motors will run faster. I've got a whole bunch of NiMH batteries that won't power up my cameras anymore, since 1.2v is pretty borderline to start with and they've aged to the point where they can't supply enough voltage even when fully charged.
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(http://quicklol.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/scruffy-the-dog-needs-to-dance.jpg)
(http://quicklol.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/bear-fur-dirty-poo.jpg)
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Pssshhhh. If you're using AA or AAA batteries in a high-drain device that you use often, you should go with rechargeables.
If you can afford to keep buying alkalines, they give a higher voltage than NiMH (1.5v vs 1.2v), so electric motors will run faster. I've got a whole bunch of NiMH batteries that won't power up my cameras anymore, since 1.2v is pretty borderline to start with and they've aged to the point where they can't supply enough voltage even when fully charged.
I know rechargeable have less voltage to them, but not all people need the highest possible RPMs on their vibrators to achieve climax. :P
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I only use rechargeables! Less waste! I guess I don't need the higher RPMs for my vibrator!
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(https://i.chzbgr.com/completestore/12/9/10/jMvfckdj9E6FVR9_kczRSw2.jpg)
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(https://i.chzbgr.com/completestore/12/9/10/UuPfwZKKCUaWGG3zYoV8aw2.jpg)
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(https://i.chzbgr.com/completestore/12/9/7/l71RKTBB0E6NRi0tgfH-Zg2.jpg)
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(https://i.chzbgr.com/completestore/12/9/4/PUNnwAKWp0W1YYOeVxIpQA2.jpg)
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(https://i.chzbgr.com/completestore/12/9/4/kmeAgIqSa0Gt1fuKmhuLRg2.jpg)
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(https://i.chzbgr.com/completestore/12/9/4/IY9kzSpmbE-se5WNZVF3WA2.jpg)
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Pssshhhh. If you're using AA or AAA batteries in a high-drain device that you use often, you should go with rechargeables.
If you can afford to keep buying alkalines, they give a higher voltage than NiMH (1.5v vs 1.2v), so electric motors will run faster. I've got a whole bunch of NiMH batteries that won't power up my cameras anymore, since 1.2v is pretty borderline to start with and they've aged to the point where they can't supply enough voltage even when fully charged.
I know rechargeable have less voltage to them, but not all people need the highest possible RPMs on their vibrators to achieve climax. :P
Couldn't alkalines be a special treat for when you want that little bit extra? Maybe guys should be bringing girls flowers, chocolates and top-brand alkalines on Valentine's day.
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Couldn't alkalines be a special treat for when you want that little bit extra? Maybe guys should be bringing girls flowers, chocolates and top-brand alkalines on Valentine's day.
I wasn't too thrilled about it at the time, but, in retrospect, the four boxes of sex toy batteries my ex got me for some romantic holiday or other probably *was* one of the better gifts I've gotten from a guy.
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(https://i.chzbgr.com/completestore/12/9/13/LvB9xeFvfUivWRKUJSfHBg2.png)
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(https://i.chzbgr.com/completestore/12/9/14/R3XxgW34BkiTSOAuJGxKFg2.jpg)
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(https://i.chzbgr.com/completestore/12/9/13/4Vnae9BbskmhIAv35BYhPg2.png)
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EYE SEX (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7RXy7zWw_34#ws)
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(https://i.chzbgr.com/completestore/12/9/14/CbbcHj2NKESXSG5R8CtZOQ2.png)
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(https://i.chzbgr.com/completestore/12/9/6/tSBUUBdgjUG3SrhCMVpmzQ2.png)
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EYE SEX (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7RXy7zWw_34#ws)
This made me rethink my whole flirting game. :o
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(https://i.chzbgr.com/completestore/12/9/11/rjD5pD5diUazUjSfxXT2Og2.jpg)
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Well, serves him right, I say..
(http://quicklol.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/04/bull-fighter-horn-to-groin.jpg)
(http://quicklol.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/dog-hump-and-run.gif) :smarty:
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WTF is with the guy with the horn at 1:00?
www.youtube.com/watch?v=sUChQtZ07T8 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sUChQtZ07T8#ws)
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(https://i.chzbgr.com/completestore/12/9/20/ncTH-IhufkuXAY7zAgzblQ2.jpg)
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(https://i.chzbgr.com/completestore/12/9/22/NCX_RkaGpU6OQX4AYnXpRA2.jpg)
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(https://i.chzbgr.com/completestore/12/9/4/9BctyL8VbkaVEIa3xwE18g2.jpg)
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tbgerwh
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:toporly:
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(https://i.chzbgr.com/completestore/12/9/19/AH_z3sfV1kSyJRSRNEBzTg2.jpg)
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Randy Newman - "I'm Dreaming" (http://youtu.be/cvLeQbwuKys)Randy Newman - "I'm Dreaming" (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cvLeQbwuKys#ws)
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(http://quicklol.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/swimming.jpg)
(http://quicklol.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/ohyou3.jpg)
(http://quicklol.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/maid.jpg)
(http://quicklol.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/friends.jpg)
(http://quicklol.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/synchronised-swimming.jpg)
:tard:
(http://quicklol.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/ugly-shot-put.jpg)
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(http://weknowmemes.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/12/everyone-i-know-is-getting-married-im-just-getting-more-awesome.jpg)
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(http://quicklol.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/friends.jpg)
lol
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(http://imageshack.us/a/img526/4701/aspergerchutney.jpg)
(http://www.wrongplanet.net/modules/Forums/images/smiles/icon_eek.gif)/Wøt the føck?
*hides under bed*
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But, it has the "seal" of approval.
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njk,nnj,kn
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:toporly:
Answer Last Search/Question? :orly:
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http://www.huffingtonpost.com/kim-stagliano/autism-research_b_1926901.html?utm_hp_ref=mostpopular (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/kim-stagliano/autism-research_b_1926901.html?utm_hp_ref=mostpopular)
:LMAO: :rofl: :LMAO:
It's tragic that people like this woman exist and are put in charge of children, but her self-serving article looking for pity for the bullshit she is doing just cracks me the hell up.
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(https://i.chzbgr.com/completestore/12/9/27/g-SqlUZq90OM2nl5Z2YobA2.png)
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qvHcBq7UaY0&feature=player_embedded# (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qvHcBq7UaY0&feature=player_embedded#)!
...the FUCK has this world come to, that this shit is REAL???
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qvHcBq7UaY0&feature=player_embedded# (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qvHcBq7UaY0&feature=player_embedded#)!
...the FUCK has this world come to, that this shit is REAL???
It has asians doing weird shit, so it must be real.
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qvHcBq7UaY0&feature=player_embedded# (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qvHcBq7UaY0&feature=player_embedded#)!
...the FUCK has this world come to, that this shit is REAL???
It has asians doing weird shit, so it must be real.
Also, it's neurowear, so I don't doubt that it's real. I already knew about the mind-controlled ears they make.
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Why the fuck to the Japanese want to fuck animal hybrids so badly?
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(http://i353.photobucket.com/albums/r399/Saif_Alvi/9033_zps2473132b.jpg)
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Dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb............
Business was brisk inside Orleans Parish magistrate court Monday afternoon as criminal defendants filled up the back rows while cops sat waiting to testify. That's when a joint fell out of attorney Jason Cantrell 's pocket and onto the floor in front of NOPD officers... Cantrell, 43, is an assistant city attorney and son of Magistrate Commissioner Harry Cantrell.
Cantrell was cited and let go under a city policy for low-level marijuana cases, police said. An officer said Cantrell was a first-time offender. He was issued a summons for simple possession of marijuana, said Officer Garry Flot, an NOPD spokesman.
Flot said Cantrell was talking to an officer when the joint flew.
Sources painted a comical picture of the incident, saying a pair of cops glanced at the joint on the ground, then at each other before making arguably the easiest collar in the annals of policework.
Officers were seen chuckling as their colleagues led Cantrell out of the courtroom about 4:15 p.m. to write him up.
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(http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-q96Bx9TMVTM/T_Respn3ywI/AAAAAAAAISE/LrXcKNVW9Jo/s1600/might-be-photoshopped.png)
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(http://www.bugcomic.com/comics/2009-11-06-Amnesia.gif)
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:nerdy:
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:tard:
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:orly:
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:toporly:
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Letter from Bridezilla to her "Lovely Bridesmaids":
To m lovely Bridesmaid: [Names removed to protect the brideslaves]
As you all know I picked 10 wonderful ladies to stand by my side, share and make happen my special day to Jake. Each of you individually have a reason and a special place in my heart of why I picked you to be a bridesmaid. We have set our date for Saturday, August 31, 2013 in Vail, Colorado. That seems far away but it really isn't, the earlier the planning the better. You may have already knew that my wonderful sister L— will be the Maid of Honor, she's in charge under me. Also my lovely mom will be a big help as well. L— has a big role in throwing me a bridal shower and bachelorette party, of course all of you guys do but at the end of the day shes the go to person and makes it happen.
You all have a big roll in this wedding, so before we continue I'm going to be setting some ground rules and its very important you read and think about everything through before you accept this honor to be a bridesmaid. If you guys email anything I would also like you to put L— in the CC. Not all the bridesmaid need to be CC'd unless its coming from me or L—, if it something everyone needs to see then well do it. We set the date to August 31, 2013 if that's a problem we need to know NOW. Also by the end of the week we will be setting dates for the engagement party, bridal show and bachelorette party.
Our wedding party is really the most important people at the wedding besides my self and Jake so we want every single one of our bridesmaid and grooms at our parties, I have 10 not 8 where two couldn't make it so if you already know you cant make one of the parties then we have to find someone else, not to be harsh in the slightest it would sadden me and of course you'll still be invited to our wedding, engagement ect. But it's different if your not in the wedding party and couldn't make it. We'll give everyone well advance dates for the parties and it will always fall on a weekend. The wedding as I stated will be in Vail the engagement party will either be in NY or CT and the bachelorette party will be in Vegas, cliche yeaa but I've never been.
A few girls live out of town so if there is going to be a problem with coming to either one then I need to know now because after this week I don't want to be surprised. I would like everyone to send me any dates they are going away or planning to go away after February so if your going away in January I don't care. I want any dates from February to the day of our wedding in August, that way we know not to plan something when your away. But after this week the dates are set in stone. Also if money is tight and you cant afford to contribute to say the bachelorette party or wont be able to afford a dress etc then L— and Myself don't have time to deal with that, I'm sorry. This includes flights as well, everyone knows the states where the parties are going to be held so if you wont be able to afford a flight then that means you cant make a party which ultimately means I cant have you as a bridesmaid. Obviously we'll get the best deals and were not gonna books flights for $1000 and shit that's why were doing this in advance, that goes for bridesmaids dresses as well everything will be affordable but if you think by affordable its going to be a $25 forever 21 dress then your going to the wrong wedding.
If your out of state though don't think you have to fly in for all fittings, that we will work with you, find stores in your town, get measurements..you don't have to worry about that. Also if you accept this honor another thing is that you need to be available, I'm not going to harass you with wedding stuff every hour of everyday but if its something important and it takes you a week even 2-3 days to get back to me seeeee ya! I don't have time to wait around for responses, everyone has their phone on them, it shouldn't take you more than a day to get back to me, even if your out of the country, check your email!
Furthermore, Ever since I could remember I have dreamed about this day all my life. I want to share it with the people that are most important to me. You only get one time to plan your dream wedding and I couldn't pick a more amazing group of girls to make that dream come true! So please, what's stated above think about it all and by Wednesday I need to know if everyone is 100% in, and what I have asked about sending me dates if your gonna be away between Feb-Aug ill need that on Wednesday. If you don't think you'll be able to attend one party but can make the rest of them I'm sorry but I'll have to take you out as a bridesmaid and put you as a guest. If you want to get back to me before Wednesday, that's fine. Really think about everything I've said. This is really going to be the most epic wedding ever so I hope you girls can share this special day with us!
Love,
Bridezilla
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(http://mensconfidence.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/googletruth.png)
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(https://i.chzbgr.com/completestore/12/10/2/5O-VHamOiU-gOnmZaxnTDQ2.jpg)
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(https://i.chzbgr.com/completestore/12/10/2/HLTWmz2-EEim3mo-SKGOMg2.jpg)
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(https://i.chzbgr.com/completestore/12/10/1/FtVFO7uqd02ScZFT-9butw2.jpg)
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(https://i.chzbgr.com/completestore/12/10/1/EkVIEyuTX0mCn8dXXeylbA2.jpg)
now THAT made me lol
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(https://i.chzbgr.com/completestore/12/10/3/brsCeXGV_Emh6pgSssBmcw2.jpg)
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(https://i.chzbgr.com/completestore/12/10/4/MOEVR4q-DEiBFahzqfER8g2.jpg)
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(https://i.chzbgr.com/completestore/12/10/4/Rg7jwPFee0OUbpy-F2dr-A2.png)
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(https://i.chzbgr.com/completestore/12/10/4/WTNt75nnZEqdD8f3labXXw2.jpg)
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(https://i.chzbgr.com/completestore/12/10/3/XYe9Xn5Mm0iDdoPruTix6g2.jpg)
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First World Problems (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vN2WzQzxuoA#ws)
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This is an actual letter sent to a man named Ryan DeVries regarding a pond on his property. It was sent by the Pennsylvania Department of Environmental Quality, State of Pennsylvania . This guy's response is Hilarious, but read The State's letter before you get to the response letter, you won't stop once you start.. WOW Love this man..
(http://t2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSQB3TvZv6gyylrRQR5t05Ue38uJmOY2wuu47ZVn8cI4M9L75FAzA)
SUBJECT: DEQ ... File No.97-59-0023; T11N; R10W, Sec 20; Lycoming County
Dear Mr. DeVries:
It has come to the attention of the Department of Environmental Quality that there has been recent unauthorized activity on the above referenced parcel of property. You have been certified as the legal landowner and/or contractor who did the following unauthorized activity:
Construction and maintenance of two wood debris dams across the outlet stream of Spring Pond.
A permit must be issued prior to the start of this type of activity.. A review of the Department's files shows that no permits have been issued Therefore, the Department has determined that this activity is in violation of Part 301, Inland Lakes and Streams, of the Natural Resource and Environmental Protection Act, Act 451 of the Public Acts of 1994, being sections 324.30101 to 324.30113 of the Pennsylvania Compiled Laws, annotated.
The Department has been informed that one or both of the dams partially failed during a recent rain event, causing debris and flooding at downstream locations.. We find that dams of this nature are inherently hazardous and cannot be permitted. The Department therefore orders you to cease and desist all activities at this location, and to restore the stream to a free-flow condition by removing all wood and brush forming the dams from the stream channel. All restoration work shall be completed no later than January 31, 2010.
Please notify this office when the restoration has been completed so that a follow-up site inspection may be scheduled by our staff. Failure to comply with this request or any further unauthorized activity on the site may result in this case being referred for elevated enforcement action..
We anticipate and would appreciate your full cooperation in this matter. Please feel free to contact me at this office if you have any questions.
Sincerely,
David L. Price
District Representative and Water Management Division.
Here is the actual response sent back by Mr. DeVries:
Re: DEQ File
No.. 97-59-0023; T11N; R10W, Sec. 20; Lycoming County
Dear Mr..Price,
Your certified letter dated 11/17/09 has been handed to me. I am the legal landowner but not the Contractor at 2088 Dagget Lane , Trout Run, Pennsylvania .
A couple of beavers are in the process of constructing and maintaining two wood 'debris' dams across the outlet stream of my Spring Pond. While I did not pay for, authorize, nor supervise their dam project, I think they would be highly offended that you call their skillful use of natures building materials 'debris.'
I would like to challenge your department to attempt to emulate their dam project any time and/or any place you choose. I believe I can safely state there is no way you could ever match their dam skills, their dam resourcefulness, their dam ingenuity, their dam persistence, their dam determination and/or their dam work ethic.
(http://t0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSGCrTBKtpAnUPXCrR0fzHLw-hZslA0sPWyQsSRqm92ns_AAu-G)
These are the beavers/contractors you are seeking. As to your request, I do not think the beavers are aware that they must first fill out a dam permit prior to the start of this type of dam activity.
My first dam question to you is:
(1) Are you trying to discriminate against my Spring Pond Beavers, or
(2) do you require all beavers throughout this State to conform to said dam request?
If you are not discriminating against these particular beavers, through the Freedom of Information Act, I request completed copies of all those other applicable beaver dam permits that have been issued. (Perhaps we will see if there really is a dam violation of Part 301, Inland Lakes and Streams, of the Natural Resource and Environmental Protection Act, Act 451 of the Public Acts of 1994, being sections 324.30101 to 324.30113 of the Pennsylvania Compiled Laws, annotated.)
I have several dam concerns. My first dam concern is, aren't the beavers entitled to legal representation? The Spring Pond Beavers are financially destitute and are unable to pay for said representation -- so the State will have to provide them with a dam lawyer.
The Department's dam concern that either one or both of the dams failed during a recent rain event, causing flooding, is proof that this is a natural occurrence, which the Department is required to protect. In other words, we should leave the Spring Pond Beavers alone rather than harassing them and calling them dam names.
If you want the damed stream 'restored' to a dam free-flow condition please contact the beavers -- but if you are going to arrest them, they obviously did not pay any attention to your dam letter, they being unable to read English.
In my humble opinion, the Spring Pond Beavers have a right to build their unauthorized dams as long as the sky is blue, the grass is green and water flows downstream. They have more dam rights than I do to live and enjoy Spring Pond. If the Department of Natural Resources and Environmental Protection lives up to its name, it should protect the natural resources (Beavers) and the environment (Beavers' Dams).
So, as far as the beavers and I are concerned, this dam case can be referred for more elevated enforcement action right now. Why wait until 1/31/2010? The Spring Pond Beavers may be under the dam ice by then and there will be no way for you or your dam staff to contact/harass them.
In conclusion, I would like to bring to your attention to a real environmental quality, health, problem in the area It is the bears! Bears are actually defecating in our woods. I definitely believe you should be persecuting the defecating bears and leave the beavers alone. If you are going to investigate the beaver dam, watch your dam step! The bears are not careful where they dump!
Being unable to comply with your dam request, and being unable to contact you on your dam answering machine, I am sending this response to your dam office.
THANK YOU,
RYAN DEVRIES & THE DAM BEAVERS
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:LMAO:
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:LMAO: :plus:
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She's Gone Back To Whorin' (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Knn1Nd_jVWM#ws)
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It's a pacifier with a (fake) moustache attached to it..
(http://imageshack.us/a/img696/7631/5599335460s.jpg)
Could imagine it totally cracks one up.. seeing the moustache move when.. the baby 'nibbles' on the pacifier. :green:
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(http://www.wrongplanet.net/modules/Forums/images/smiles/icon_eek.gif)
(https://fbcdn-sphotos-h-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/374125_10151305998037009_2013331033_n.jpg)
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(https://i.chzbgr.com/completestore/12/10/18/A7OWy1V9S0eNQWDgJCHW6g2.png)
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(https://i.chzbgr.com/completestore/12/10/15/phOOR4ZUw0-M_BiJtWdqCw2.jpg)
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If you're struggling to get laid, take some of this on your next night out:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cummingtonite (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cummingtonite)
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If you're struggling to get laid, take some of this on your next night out:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cummingtonite (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cummingtonite)
First time I've actively wanted jewelry in a long time.
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I'm going to hell for being amused by this, let alone reposting it:
(https://i.chzbgr.com/completestore/12/10/22/QN5qWN2VQ0C1ctGwvmagLw2.jpg)
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From Hardup Hester's blog:
Me 'I'd like to report a fault with one of my copiers'
Milly 'My name is Milly, how may I help you'
Me 'I'd like to report a fault on one of my copiers'
Milly 'Do you have the serial number of the copier'
Me 'Yes it's PRN 445132'
Milly 'I'm sorry, that number isn't being accepted, could you repeat it'
Me 'PRN 445132'
Milly 'I'm sorry, all the serial numbers begin with VST, where are you calling from'
Me 'I'm calling from Burchill Lane school'
Milly 'I'll just check that is correct'
Me 'Ok, maybe I'm dreaming & I don't really work here'
Milly 'Ok, I've found you now, you quoted the wrong serial number, the serial number is PRN 445132'
Me 'Ok, thank you, now can I report a fault on this machine'
Milly 'Ok, could I have you name'
Me ' Hester Smith'
Milly 'Sorry the name we have is Peter Griggs'
Me 'Peter Griggs is the name of the engineer who visits us'
Milly 'Oh right, do you want to speak to him'
Me 'Erm ok'
Milly 'He's not here right now, can I help'
Me 'Yes I'd like to report a fault on my machine'
Milly 'Machine? We only deal with copiers here'
Me 'Yes I know, I have a fault on my copier'
Milly 'Oh I see, what sort of fault'
Me 'There is an error code on the screen'
Milly 'Screen, what screen, we only deal with copiers here, not computer screens'
Me 'I have 5 copiers here and they all have touch screens on them'
Milly 'Screens, on a copier, wow, who knew'
Me 'So can I report the fault now'
Milly 'Do you have the serial number?'
Me 'PRN445132'
Milly 'That's not one of our's'
Me 'Yes it is you found it just now'
Milly 'Oh yes, I remember, you are Peter Griggs'
Me 'Can I please report the fault'
Milly 'What is the fault code'
Me 'E7000, that means the waste toner needs emptying'
Milly 'E7000, that's not one of ours'
Me 'The waste toner needs emptying'
Milly 'West toner'
Me 'WASTE, not west'
Milly 'West toner, well I'll report it but it doesn't sound right to me, we deal with copiers here and this sounds like a compass'
To my utmost amazement good old Peter, the engineer arrived within a couple of hours, he said 'I wasn't quite sure what the fault was, something about the compass being broken on your machine, so I thought I'd pop in on my way home & see if I could help'
I could have kissed him, I was so pleased to see him, instead I just made him a cuppa.
-
(https://i.chzbgr.com/completestore/12/10/23/WZuhoMhM1USgMdSXPHpUnw2.jpg)
-
(https://i.chzbgr.com/completestore/12/10/29/kVGulSFso0y8MmqBbM1z8w2.jpg)
-
(http://i297.photobucket.com/albums/mm223/skyblue1110/duck.jpg)
-
(http://quicklol.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/birthday1.gif)
-
From melanie Mon May 1 13:39:24 1995
To: cynsa@well.sf.ca.us
Subject: Live Artillery Shell
I have a butt page story for you, but, unfortunately, no documentary evidence. The story was told me by my brother, who used to lodge with a nurse. It is the nurse's story. About five years ago an old WW2 veteran used to come into a hospital clinic in the east end of London suffering from bad haemorroids (piles). The clinic did what they could, but they could never relieve the most painful pile, which would hang down and get stuck on the seam of the man's underpants. To rid himself of the nuisance of this pile, the old man used to push it back up into his rectum using the artillery shell from an anti-aircraft gun he used to man in the war. One day the shell got stuck and the man was forced to hobble down to the hospital to get it removed. As the doctor was about to insert his fingers into the old man's rectum to remove the shell he said 'Of course, this shell is spent, isn't it?' 'Oh no,' said the old man 'There's enough ammo in that shell to blast a Messerschmidt (sp?) out of the sky.' So the doctor called in the army bomb squad, who built a lead box around the old man's asshole and defused the shell in situ, before removing it.
A good little story for VE day, I thought. --
Melanie McGrath
-
Wow, I hope they were able to remove the hemorrhoid while they were in there, at least.
-
Hope I havent posted this already
-
www.youtube.com/watch?v=ReOw_2f4lpY (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ReOw_2f4lpY#)
-
Hope I havent posted this already
Okay, that made my day :lol1:
-
(http://quicklol.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/funny-sign.jpg)
(http://quicklol.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/music1.jpg)
(http://quicklol.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/11/backwards.jpg)
(http://quicklol.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/shark.jpg)
-
(https://i.chzbgr.com/completestore/12/10/31/5LAf7itaYUOtJPEqYAd0gA2.jpg)
-
(https://i.chzbgr.com/completestore/12/10/30/_0Pj4i31ckWgJpomLgWWEw2.png)
-
(https://i.chzbgr.com/completestore/12/11/1/YDBom72mwE6ozxTWBy3I5A2.jpg)
-
(https://i.chzbgr.com/completestore/12/11/5/LjqyXgC6BkCxu2YXVKLKDg2.jpg)
-
(https://i.chzbgr.com/completestore/12/11/5/6xAS0WT6e02t_CvzIFZgNw2.jpg)
-
(https://i.chzbgr.com/completestore/12/11/5/ZCF2qob0PkSpij6Lmjb71w2.gif)
-
(http://1funny.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/redneck-family.jpg)
-
(http://1funny.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/redneck-family.jpg)
red neck-orise
-
(https://i.chzbgr.com/completestore/12/11/6/6yvLU4qif0G2274vnv6jNw2.gif)
-
(https://i.chzbgr.com/completestore/12/11/6/6yvLU4qif0G2274vnv6jNw2.gif)
Which is probably why pubic hair is short.
-
(https://i.chzbgr.com/completestore/12/11/5/ZCF2qob0PkSpij6Lmjb71w2.gif)
Who is the bottom one?
-
Apple, I think.
-
(http://1funny.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/redneck-family.jpg)
red neck-orise
I thought this was Ricky's family Christmas card
-
(http://s.funnymama.com/store/121107/117738_v0_600x.jpg)
-
(http://s.funnymama.com/store/121108/117876_v0_600x.jpg)
-
(http://s.funnymama.com/store/121108/117854_v0_600x.jpg)
-
(http://s.funnymama.com/store/121108/117856_v0_600x.jpg)
-
(http://s.funnymama.com/store/121108/117833_v0_600x.jpg)
-
(http://s.funnymama.com/store/121108/117844_v0_600x.png)
-
(https://i.chzbgr.com/completestore/12/9/30/FvUt1VH-F06A3ecpVG4bxA2.jpg)
-
(https://i.chzbgr.com/completestore/12/10/5/IGfD1pM3xkOzMD4UxEQr1Q2.jpg)
-
(https://i.chzbgr.com/completestore/12/11/9/vmcg8ddNZEmcLPg-v7rJPA2.png)
-
(http://quicklol.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/11/hamster.png)
(http://quicklol.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/11/monkey.jpg)
(http://quicklol.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/11/scarf.jpg)
(http://quicklol.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/11/poster.jpg)
-
Just because a hamster can stuff a lot in it's mouth, does not mean it's a good idea to have one give you a blowjob.
-
Just because a hamster can stuff a lot in it's mouth, does not mean it's a good idea to have one give you a blowjob.
You should post this on a sign at the pet store in the mall.
-
Just because a hamster can stuff a lot in it's mouth, does not mean it's a good idea to have one give you a blowjob.
You should post this on a sign at the pet store in the mall.
Sheesh, give a guy a law book and he thinks he's a lawyer.
-
Just because a hamster can stuff a lot in it's mouth, does not mean it's a good idea to have one give you a blowjob.
You should post this on a sign at the pet store in the mall.
Sheesh, give a guy a law book and he thinks he's a lawyer.
It's just good advice :nerdy:
-
(https://i.chzbgr.com/completestore/12/11/13/9pM57DAFokKM98nLuz8xRQ2.jpg)
-
(https://i.chzbgr.com/completestore/12/11/13/EzFQ1vJoqU-P7zDiB7wvCQ2.jpg)
-
(http://sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash3/522367_523806917639253_1744512869_n.jpg)
-
(https://i.chzbgr.com/completestore/12/11/11/tC1XJw_jkUmSnKb_M3wprw2.png)
-
(https://i.chzbgr.com/completestore/12/11/13/9pM57DAFokKM98nLuz8xRQ2.jpg)
Nice. These rules are actually more lenient than the ones I currently have to deal with. Allowed to come in up to 10 minutes late without humiliation? That's pretty lax.
-
(https://i.chzbgr.com/completestore/12/11/5/EHCcA2wXvEqHO3z5xs09xQ2.jpg)
-
(https://i.chzbgr.com/completestore/12/11/15/deziG4Wn80es2FCEB_wR1w2.jpg)
-
(http://rlv.zcache.com/yorkshire_terrier_property_laws_2_yorkie_postcard-p239790136519004050envli_400.jpg)
-
(https://i.chzbgr.com/completestore/12/11/16/HhGgrjaElkKz6NHa6jzFBw2.png)
-
(https://i.chzbgr.com/completestore/12/11/16/OZqzOMYzA0--MIwpiXzdsQ2.jpg)
-
(http://quicklol.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/11/jesus.jpg)
The electric fence (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FW1B2FuxKYg#)
(http://quicklol.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/11/architects-funny.jpg)
-
God Wants You To Wear A Hat - The Whitest Kids U'Know on IFC (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=djSp1NVsTrI#ws)
-
The electric fence (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FW1B2FuxKYg#)
Jesus christ, such faggotary.. video has been removed. Hope some seen it.. for ja, it showed a faggot (in closet) touching electrical wire-fencing.. going emo girl.
-
Jesus christ, such faggotary.. video has been removed. Hope some seen it.. for ja, it showed a faggot (in closet) touching electrical wire-fencing.. going emo girl.
??? I am unable to derive proper meaning from the string of slurs above.
-
^ I'm sorry.. your loss. :P
Nah, never mind that. Did you see the clip?
-
(https://i.chzbgr.com/completestore/12/11/8/cxLAeHa5u0mvk2ihYV2KAg2.jpg)
-
(https://i.chzbgr.com/completestore/12/11/22/LerV5u8uS0eOP_hCSBgJvw2.jpg)
-
The electric fence (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FW1B2FuxKYg#)
Jesus christ, such faggotary.. video has been removed. Hope some seen it.. for ja, it showed a faggot (in closet) touching electrical wire-fencing.. going emo girl.
That's a lotta hate. The video appears to be working fine, and I really doubt that guy was closeted.
-
Ah. Okay, video works again.
And that's not me hating homosexuals.. (well, might appear such there/sorry/I don't). Reply was more about me hating it when something I posted goes 'gone' after a little while. It really wasn't to be found anywhere on yatube for a couple of days.
-
The electric fence (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FW1B2FuxKYg#)
Jesus christ, such faggotary.. video has been removed. Hope some seen it.. for ja, it showed a faggot (in closet) touching electrical wire-fencing.. going emo girl.
That's a lotta hate. The video appears to be working fine, and I really doubt that guy was closeted.
Having now had the chance to watch it- he wasn't "going emo girl" either that I could see. He seemed to be laughing at his own pain even more than the cameraperson.
-
(https://i.chzbgr.com/completestore/12/11/26/WAg2_fQCPEitgyjfMACDdw2.jpg)
-
(https://i.chzbgr.com/completestore/12/11/26/-Y5nAqB7j0CbiRAfgurahg2.jpg)
^this is legitimately what has been happening to my facebook feed over the last several months
-
(https://i.chzbgr.com/completestore/12/11/26/shpNMcw_1kqECdapNdFMQg2.png)
-
(https://i.chzbgr.com/completestore/12/11/20/dK5b2IISWUm8_glNKlkCtg2.jpg)
-
(http://i.chzbgr.com/completestore/2011/8/15/4aa0a9e6-d69d-4b41-900b-2201aa0267b4.jpg)
-
(https://i.chzbgr.com/completestore/12/11/8/zsEwwS5sF0-rnPhyFqDLqA2.jpg)
-
(https://i.chzbgr.com/completestore/12/11/22/K-dXLSVnXEumswj85qV5hQ2.jpg)
-
(https://i.chzbgr.com/completestore/12/11/19/kFKGN6pUIEGFaWycxQlN3Q2.png)
-
(https://i.chzbgr.com/completestore/12/11/25/jnSB1cUYY0O8P37YqbSlTg2.png)
-
(http://sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash4/403043_439407282773529_391610121_n.jpg)
-
Сфоткался с Тигром \ Picture taken with a tiger (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hfhC0ttC_nE#ws)
-
Rowley Birkin QC: Tribal Encounter (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hLjAmzyUf0E#)
-
(http://farm8.staticflickr.com/7230/6943939314_f929a64e4f_z.jpg)
-
How to get your cat inside:
http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=10151517609880830 (http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=10151517609880830)
(cant post on here sorry)
-
How to get your cat inside:
http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=10151517609880830 (http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?v=10151517609880830)
(cant post on here sorry)
:laugh:
Time to train Lily.
-
(http://quicklol.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/11/pug-riding-a-horse.jpg)
Wakey wakey..
(http://quicklol.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/11/sleeping-prank.gif)
(http://quicklol.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/11/guy-kisses-dog.gif)
-
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7HWmfPXFP6c (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7HWmfPXFP6c)
-
Why do girls like Jesus?
He was hung like this :stretches arms out:
-
(http://i297.photobucket.com/albums/mm223/skyblue1110/bth_thanks_for_the_info1-1.jpg)
-
(https://i.chzbgr.com/completestore/12/11/28/kkdJgVlxQEKdA4DnXj8kgg2.jpg)
-
(https://i.chzbgr.com/completestore/12/11/30/E1qg5tfQTUCSvPtIrzxfMw2.jpg)
-
(https://i.chzbgr.com/completestore/12/11/21/PIQy0NEflUGWJZYtRbXTqg2.jpg)
-
(https://sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash3/76425_457497104307318_1518077514_n.jpg)
-
(http://sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-prn1/73241_442807665781252_946192327_n.jpg)
-
(https://i.chzbgr.com/completestore/12/11/30/1T9_KihxAkanmTtd3L1J2g2.jpg)
-
hee hee
(http://sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-prn1/537742_335047603268726_403475691_n.jpg)
-
(http://quicklol.com/some-hilarious-gif-images/dog-slaps-man-in-face-gif)
(http://quicklol.com/some-hilarious-gif-images/man-sleeping-woman-put-his-hand-in-her-pants-funny-gif)
(http://quicklol.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/trick.gif)
(http://quicklol.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/lol.gif)
(http://quicklol.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/07/shithead.gif)
(http://quicklol.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/thrusting.gif)
(http://quicklol.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/10/cops.gif)
(http://quicklol.com/some-amusing-gif-images/stuck-in-seat-on-roller-coaster-gif)
(http://quicklol.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/02/ball-fails.gif)
-
There should also be one for LEDs; you can buy bright, superbright, hyperbright and power LEDs, but I've never found ones being sold as kind of dim.
-
A penguin took his car to the mechanics as the tyre was flat. The mechanic was taking a while so he decided in the meantime to get an icecream. When he got back to the garage, the mechanic had finished with the car.
The mechanic looked up at him and said 'oh there you are. looks like you blew a seal."
The penguin blushed and said 'No i just had an icecream"
-
I totally want this for Christmas:
(https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/6828059392/h6EB66501/)
-
An oldie, but still a chuckle or two.
A university creative writing class was asked to write a concise essay containing these four elements:
•Religion
•Royalty
•Sex
•Mystery
The prize-winning essay read:
"My God," said the Queen. "I'm pregnant. I wonder who did it?"
-
(http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mdfljr0XyA1rjeig6o1_400.gif)
-
To help with everyone's shopping:
-
(http://9.asset.soup.io/asset/3807/8889_37c8.jpeg)
-
(https://i.chzbgr.com/completestore/12/12/7/KllMbjaJsk26ekKwa2BHiQ2.jpg)
-
(https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/5774813184/h2A7F9A33/)
-
Mistletoe Kissing Prank (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6iNxHxwT-b4#ws)
SPREAD HERPES FOR SCIENCE
-
(https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/6855190784/h835773BE/)
-
(http://quicklol.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/12/tshirt-stay-calm-and-try-an-ale.jpg)
(http://quicklol.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/12/ocd-guy-helps-guy-with-a-missing-arm.jpg)
(http://quicklol.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/12/you-have-awoken-me-what-is-your-wish-child.jpg)
(http://quicklol.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/12/sexy-santa-wants-love-funny.jpg)
-
(https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/6871925504/h9E3C6E2A/)
-
(https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/6866413056/h5E9EB23F/)
-
(https://i.chzbgr.com/completestore/12/12/4/V9NlbhO_uUGk_3TzUxMMng2.jpg)
-
(https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/6837754880/hE94E4E69/)
-
(https://i.chzbgr.com/completestore/12/11/29/jPRcrJmnqEqKS3Gvlx9UoQ2.jpg)
-
(https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/6891694080/h8CFCD9A3/)
-
(https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/6881003520/h061361DD/)
-
I like the last one. :P
-
(https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/6876087808/h94DCFBBD/)
-
(https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/6874427904/h13466452/)
-
(https://i.chzbgr.com/completestore/12/12/10/RVKEAtwcIEaARljHfK8T7g2.png)
-
(http://d24w6bsrhbeh9d.cloudfront.net/photo/6115485_460s_v1.jpg)
(http://d24w6bsrhbeh9d.cloudfront.net/photo/6115645_460s.jpg)
(http://d24w6bsrhbeh9d.cloudfront.net/photo/6115925_460s.jpg)
(http://d24w6bsrhbeh9d.cloudfront.net/photo/6115933_460s.jpg)
-
Ricky tells a sad story
(http://s3-ec.buzzfed.com/static/enhanced/web03/2012/7/9/15/enhanced-buzz-6371-1341861988-6.jpg)
-
(https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/6889877504/h9DC5D5D6/)
-
(http://d24w6bsrhbeh9d.cloudfront.net/photo/6115933_460s.jpg)
Holy shit come to think of it there's prolly actually some truth to that one. :zombiefuck:
-
(http://d24w6bsrhbeh9d.cloudfront.net/photo/6115933_460s.jpg)
Holy shit come to think of it there's prolly actually some truth to that one. :zombiefuck:
Scary thought, isn't it?
-
(http://canardblog.f00.be/wp-content/uploads/2009/01/funny-pictures-ducks-rate-eachother-as-they-dive.jpg)
(http://quicklol.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/12/dog-sticks-nose-in-girls-crotch-oh-hes-so-cute.jpg)
(http://d24w6bsrhbeh9d.cloudfront.net/photo/6113657_460s.jpg)
(http://quicklol.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/12/bear-damn-im-fabulous.jpg)
-
(http://sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash3/556311_516791095008573_1189792016_n.jpg)
This one is especially funny because a bunch of people felt the need to comment on Facebook that this image is photoshopped. No, really? :facepalm2:
-
Oh, you mean, it really is photoshopped? It looked so real.
-
Oh, you mean, it really is photoshopped? It looked so real.
Earth exploded in 1972. Didn't they cover this in history class? :dunno:
-
This is the Matrix.
-
(http://zs1.smbc-comics.com/comics/20121222.gif)
-
(https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/6897689344/h33B2275E/)
-
Grand Valley State University student sneaks one past the announcers (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wju1NSTza9Y#)
-
From CraigsList New Orleans
Learn thy Divine Ancient Arts and Scared Practices from thy Goddess - Always wanted to learn scary practices.
Infidelity Support Group - Which side are they on?
and the creme de la creme, the piece-de-resistance:
Looking to buy used sex toys - Enough said. :zombiefuck:
-
Someone in my 14 year old daughters math class asked her what potatoes where made from
-
Obviously they were made from two parent potatoes having buttsecks with each other.
-
Someone in my 14 year old daughters math class asked her what potatoes where made from
I think it's a reasonably common failing, like with people who don't realise that fish are animals, and hence meat. A lot of people don't have a clue what it is they're sticking in their mouths.
-
Someone in my 14 year old daughters math class asked her what potatoes where made from
I think it's a reasonably common failing, like with people who don't realise that fish are animals, and hence meat. A lot of people don't have a clue what it is they're sticking in their mouths.
An employee of mine asked me if clams were vegan.
-
(https://sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash4/407301_461153437281810_1495149102_n.jpg)
-
(https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/6897639168/hA8BB02E2/)
-
(https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/6912266240/h814DACED/)
-
Someone in my 14 year old daughters math class asked her what potatoes where made from
I think it's a reasonably common failing, like with people who don't realise that fish are animals, and hence meat. A lot of people don't have a clue what it is they're sticking in their mouths.
An employee of mine asked me if clams were vegan.
Clams aren't too bad; at least they don't have a face and just kind of sit there most of the time like weird plants or fungi or something, and I could forgive someone for not knowing what they were. There's nothing much like them on land; even snails have a discernible head and can be seen locomoting around and eating things.
-
Someone in my 14 year old daughters math class asked her what potatoes where made from
I think it's a reasonably common failing, like with people who don't realise that fish are animals, and hence meat. A lot of people don't have a clue what it is they're sticking in their mouths.
An employee of mine asked me if clams were vegan.
Clams aren't too bad; at least they don't have a face and just kind of sit there most of the time like weird plants or fungi or something, and I could forgive someone for not knowing what they were. There's nothing much like them on land; even snails have a discernible head and can be seen locomoting around and eating things.
Well, it gets worse. She thought that if clams were vegan then I would eat clam chowder.
-
Victoria's Secret Fashion Show A Hit Among People Who Don't Know That Pornography Exists (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lN6JMq7k_co#ws)
-
www.youtube.com/watch?v=y7hRKSRkyfs (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y7hRKSRkyfs#ws)
-
ffs
-
(https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/6897641216/hF7501949/)
Musta been a male advertising executive who came up with that one...
-
over here Lays are called Walkers
same logo etc, just different name on the thing
(http://img10.imageshack.us/img10/3616/xmassj.jpg)
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over here Lays are called Walkers
same logo etc, just different name on the thing
(http://img10.imageshack.us/img10/3616/xmassj.jpg)
"I really need to get Walkers'd" doesn't have quite the same ring to it. :orly:
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(https://sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash4/379430_520619677959048_118842817_n.jpg)
-
At a country-club party a young man was introduced to an attractive girl. Immediately she began flattering him outrageously. The guy liked the young lady, but was taken a bit aback by her fast and ardent pitch. He was amazed when after 30 minutes she seriously proposed marriage.
"Look," he said. "We only met a half hour ago. How can you be so sure? We know nothing about each other."
"You're wrong," she smiled. "For the past 5 years I've been working in the back of the bank where you have your account. I know all I need to know about you."
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A bit of Fry and Laurie S4 E06-1.avi (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4KupSUI4dLU#)
(http://www.intensitysquared.com/shoutBox/img/emoticons/eek.png)
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(https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/6926209280/h391460AD/)
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http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2012/12/31/2012-search-queries (http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2012/12/31/2012-search-queries)
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Fucking brilliant
Funky tube journey with an abrupt end (ORIGINAL, Close Angle!!) (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lxrul4hWKcQ#)
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(http://quicklol.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/12/dog-looking-through-cat-flap.jpg)
(http://quicklol.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/12/dog-on-a-jet-ski.gif)
(http://quicklol.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/12/dog-looking-through-cat-flap.jpg)
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Fucking brilliant
Funky tube journey with an abrupt end (ORIGINAL, Close Angle!!) (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lxrul4hWKcQ#)
I woulda done the same thing :)
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goddamnit supercut (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bKweynM2xas#ws)
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(https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/6956840960/hB3F68764/)
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(https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/6964264960/h43DA580B/)
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http://www.theonion.com/articles/study-finds-owning-cool-leather-jacket-more-reward,27627/ (http://www.theonion.com/articles/study-finds-owning-cool-leather-jacket-more-reward,27627/)
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http://www.theonion.com/articles/study-finds-owning-cool-leather-jacket-more-reward,27627/ (http://www.theonion.com/articles/study-finds-owning-cool-leather-jacket-more-reward,27627/)
Plus, it's cheaper.
-
http://www.theonion.com/articles/study-finds-owning-cool-leather-jacket-more-reward,27627/ (http://www.theonion.com/articles/study-finds-owning-cool-leather-jacket-more-reward,27627/)
That was one of the best presents I ever came up with for my ex. Never knew it was this good though. :laugh:
-
(http://sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash3/541831_457657260949622_1336418739_n.jpg)
-
(http://i.imgur.com/NvhQ5.jpg)
(http://i.imgur.com/iuzHj.jpg)
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(https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/6974317568/hAD51E1D3/)
(https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/6970055936/h0D97896C/)
-
Fox-5 featuring The Nigger-Inaugural at the Willard Hotel in WDC (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XKxN1j3mgRc#ws)
-
(http://imageshack.us/a/img545/8619/20672249669323370430810.jpg)
(http://imageshack.us/a/img266/6210/54206440363062305507319.jpg)
(http://imageshack.us/a/img571/6528/proxyn.jpg)
-
(http://imageshack.us/a/img541/1205/20013440247733982731516.jpg)
(http://imageshack.us/a/img811/3986/53944610151079698659475.jpg)
(http://imageshack.us/a/img35/5245/avcp4jcaaebvmg.jpg)
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(http://imageshack.us/a/img687/7521/militarycat.jpg)
(http://imageshack.us/a/img694/787/5061978700b.jpg)
(http://imageshack.us/a/img580/7855/obamasstealthinsulting.jpg)
-
make sure you don't forget to leave your window down when you get out of the car...
(http://imageshack.us/a/img16/2359/ba5njsceaa3l23jpglarge.jpg)
-
You mean window up. ^That is a bloody disaster. I would cry if I found my car like that.
-
Sweet Brown - Original Report and Autotune Remix.mp4 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nh7UgAprdpM#ws)
-
(https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/6974915584/h7C5049F9/)
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(https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/6984010496/h1E15C36D/)
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(https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/6974915584/h7C5049F9/)
The grammar here does shout "writer".
-
The WTF moment of a reporter (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sx-LhWPRUnw#)
-
Samuel L Jackson Singing Taylor Swift 'We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together' On Capital (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xP2cIz57Ggw#ws)
-
(http://s3-ec.buzzfed.com/static/enhanced/webdr01/2013/1/17/14/enhanced-buzz-7290-1358450112-2.jpg)
-
(http://s3-ec.buzzfed.com/static/enhanced/webdr03/2013/1/17/14/enhanced-buzz-32063-1358450296-0.jpg)
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(https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/6977379840/h7660A88A/)
-
(https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/6977336064/h64DBB4C3/)
Why would a man be confused about someone overestimating by an inch?
-
(https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/6968670464/h52F55540/)
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(https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/6972805376/h574F5A3B/)
-
Samuel L Jackson Singing Taylor Swift 'We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together' On Capital (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xP2cIz57Ggw#ws)
Some things are a lot funnier when read in Samuel L Jackson's voice.
Go the fuck to sleep (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gv6b0CretuE#)
-
Noni was a long time Play School entertainer in Australia.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MvdoPzrzWM0 (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MvdoPzrzWM0)
Learn English LOL
Banned Commercials - Learn English (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cUEkOVdUjHc#)
-
(https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/6977336064/h64DBB4C3/)
Why would a man be confused about someone overestimating by an inch?
Faux News spent a day on this I guess :GA:
-
(https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/6985288704/h5178F8B9/)
-
(https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/6999707904/h006325EC/)
-
(https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/6995796736/h180ADC82/)
-
(https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/6995796736/h180ADC82/)
IIRC, the shortest science fiction story was, "They came."
-
Which could also double as the shortest erotic fiction?
-
Which could also double as the shortest erotic fiction?
Nope, sorry, that's taken by (.)(.)
-
That's not a story, that's an emoticon. :hitler:
-
It's the story of an emoticon. :hitler:
-
Which could also double as the shortest erotic fiction?
"He came" is two letters shorter :zoinks:
EDIT: Duh, "I came" is even shorter than that.
-
Which could also double as the shortest erotic fiction?
"He came" is two letters shorter :zoinks:
EDIT: Duh, "I came" is even shorter than that.
But still fiction? :P
-
Which could also double as the shortest erotic fiction?
"He came" is two letters shorter :zoinks:
EDIT: Duh, "I came" is even shorter than that.
But still fiction? :P
Hard to say absent further context ;)
-
(https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/7004008704/h2B2D2559/)
-
(http://i.imgur.com/cGcVlOU.jpg)
-
(https://sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-snc7/321368_405109562917422_303224821_n.jpg)
-
(http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m48t45xYJ11r4x6r1o1_500.jpg)
-
(http://www.warmphotos.net/img/funny/wile-e-coyote-says-hi/wile-e-coyote-says-hi06.jpg)
-
(http://sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash3/580718_10151421076589168_1824269374_n.jpg)
-
(https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/7021617152/h7D63050D/)
-
(https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/7034830592/hBE07B92B/)
-
(http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_manovfxjZi1qz7t0xo1_1280.jpg)
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(http://trollinator.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/How-a-man-proposes.jpg)
-
(http://www.quitor.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/02/Melnie-ramji-2.jpg)
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In a convent in Ireland , the 98-year-old Mother Superior lay dying. The nuns gathered around her bed trying to make her last journey comfortable.They tried giving her warm milk to drink but she refused it.
One of the nuns took the glass back to the kitchen. Then, remembering a bottle of Irish Whiskey that had been received as a gift the previous Christmas, she opened it and poured a generous amount into the warm milk. Back at Mother Superior's bed, they held the glass to her lips. The frail nun drank a little, then a little more and before they knew it, she had finished the whole glass down to the last drop.As her eyes brightened, the nuns thought it would be a good opportunity to have one last talk with their spiritual leader..."Mother," the nuns asked earnestly, "Please give us some of your wisdom before you leave us.
She raised herself up in bed on one elbow, looked at them and said:""DON'T SELL THAT COW."
-
Pioneer TV Ad 1994 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K_Eib49uPyc#)
-
(https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/7041421824/hB829994B/)
-
(https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/7044260608/hD49D7B3A/)
-
(https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/7048362752/h0C4B5848/)
-
(https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/7056716288/h0F0E9278/)
-
(https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/7058319104/h0EB24088/)
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(http://www.bigblackmouth.com/images/funny/2013/2/6/70.jpg)
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(http://www.bigblackmouth.com/images/funny/2012/10/2/21.jpg)
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(http://www.bigblackmouth.com/images/funny/2012/10/2/50.jpg)
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(https://fbcdn-sphotos-c-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/382254_429384463817044_1060766374_n.jpg)
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(https://fbcdn-sphotos-e-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-snc6/734988_489112861156375_1534589733_n.jpg)
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(https://fbcdn-sphotos-e-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-snc6/734988_489112861156375_1534589733_n.jpg)
Better if "born" were replaced with "conceived"
-
(https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/7073982976/h45216693/)
-
(https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/7067369728/h0B572843/)
-
(https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/7066700800/h46E4F2F8/)
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ohhey a follow up
(https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/7071302656/h927EDCEF/)
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(https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/7066700800/h46E4F2F8/)
I make up stories all the time for my nieces and nephew, they think it's great.
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(https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/7073982976/h45216693/)
Don't think I am familiar with the "Jesus was a woman" argument
-
Jesus was a hermaphrodite?
-
I saw this on my dashboard.
-
I saw this on my dashboard.
:LMAO:
Remind me--I owe you a plus.
-
U.S. Soldiers Parody The Miami Dolphins Cheerleaders On ''Call Me Maybe'' - MUST SEE (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lfq9-4XhUPc#ws)
The girls are cute. The guys are a worry.
-
U.S. Soldiers Parody The Miami Dolphins Cheerleaders On ''Call Me Maybe'' - MUST SEE (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lfq9-4XhUPc#ws)
The girls are cute. The guys are a worry.
These guys seem to have too much time on their hands :lol1:
-
Imagine yourself to be the nun that is sitting at her desk grading these papers all the while trying to keep a straight face and maintain her composure!
PAY SPECIAL ATTENTION TO THE WORDING AND SPELLING. IF YOU KNOW THE BIBLE EVEN A LITTLE, YOU'LL FIND THIS HILARIOUS! IT COMES FROM A CATHOLIC ELEMENTARY SCHOOL
TEST KIDS WERE ASKED QUESTIONS ABOUT THE OLD AND NEW TESTAMENTS. THE FOLLOWING STATEMENTS ABOUT THE BIBLE WERE WRITTEN BY CHILDREN. THEY HAVE NOT BEEN RETOUCHED OR CORRECTED. INCORRECT SPELLING HAS BEEN LEFT IN.
1. IN THE FIRST BOOK OF THE BIBLE, GUINESSIS.
GOD GOT TIRED OF CREATING THE WORLD SO HE TOOK THE SABBATH OFF.
2. ADAM AND EVE WERE CREATED FROM AN APPLE TREE.
NOAH'S WIFE WAS JOAN OF ARK. NOAH BUILT AND ARK AND THE ANIMALS CAME ON IN PEARS.
3. LOTS WIFE WAS A PILLAR OF SALT DURING THE DAY, BUT A BALL OF FIRE DURING THE NIGHT.
4. THE JEWS WERE A PROUD PEOPLE AND THROUGHOUT HISTORY THEY HAD TROUBLE WITH UNSYMPATHETIC GENITALS.
5. SAMPSON WAS A STRONGMAN WHO LET HIMSELF BE LED ASTRAY BY A JEZEBEL LIKE DELILAH.
6. SAMSON SLAYED THE PHILISTINES WITH THE AXE OF THE APOSTLES.
7. MOSES LED THE JEWS TO THE RED SEA WHERE THEY MADE UNLEAVENED BREAD WHICH IS BREAD WITHOUT ANY INGREDIENTS.
8, THE EGYPTIANS WERE ALL DROWNED IN THE DESSERT. AFTERWARDS, MOSES WENT UP TO MOUNT CYANIDE TO GET THE TEN COMMANDMENTS.
9. THE FIRST COMMANDMENTS WAS WHEN EVE TOLD ADAM TO EAT THE APPLE.
10. THE SEVENTH COMMANDMENT IS THOU SHALT NOT ADMIT ADULTERY.
11. MOSES DIED BEFORE HE EVER REACHED CANADA .
THEN JOSHUA LED THE HEBREWS IN THE BATTLE OF GERITOL.
12. THE GREATEST MIRICLE IN THE BIBLE IS WHEN JOSHUA TOLD HIS SON TO STAND STILL AND HE OBEYED HIM.
13. DAVID WAS A HEBREW KING WHO WAS SKILLED AT PLAYING THE LIAR. HE FOUGHT THE FINKELSTEINS, A RACE OF PEOPLE WHO LIVED IN BIBLICAL TIMES.
14. SOLOMON, ONE OF DAVIDS SONS, HAD 300 WIVES AND 700 PORCUPINES
15. WHEN MARY HEARD SHE WAS THE MOTHER OF JESUS, SHE SANG THE MAGNA CARTA.
16. WHEN THE THREE WISE GUYS FROM THE EAST SIDE ARRIVED THEY FOUND JESUS IN THE MANAGER.
17. JESUS WAS BORN BECAUSE MARY HAD AN IMMACULATE CONTRAPTION.
18. ST. JOHN THE BLACKSMITH DUMPED WATER ON HIS HEAD.
19. JESUS ENUNCIATED THE GOLDEN RULE, WHICH SAYS TO DO UNTO OTHERS BEFORE THEY DO ONE TO YOU. HE ALSO EXPLAINED A MAN DOTH NOT LIVE BY SWEAT ALONE.
20. IT WAS A MIRICLE WHEN JESUS ROSE FROM THE DEAD AND MANAGED TO GET THE TOMBSTONE OFF THE ENTRANCE.
21. THE PEOPLE WHO FOLLOWED THE LORD WERE CALLED THE 12 DECIBELS.
22. THE EPISTELS WERE THE WIVES OF THE APOSTLES.
23. ONE OF THE OPPOSSUMS WAS ST. MATTHEW WHO WAS ALSO A TAXIMAN.
24. ST. PAUL CAVORTED TO CHRISTIANITY, HE PREACHED HOLY ACRIMONY WHICH IS ANOTHER NAME FOR MARRAIGE.
25. CHRISTIANS HAVE ONLY ONE SPOUSE. THIS IS CALLED MONOTONY.
-
I saw this on my dashboard.
:LMAO:
Remind me--I owe you a plus.
cool
-
Kevin the teenager has a crush on his teacher - Harry Enfield - BBC comedy (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iC-hAxxJY88#)
-
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OGFz9gt0-Fc (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OGFz9gt0-Fc)
-
(https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/7070145536/h046A9FE7/)
-
(https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/7082707456/h9B741020/)
-
(https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/7076133120/h2B6F7E5F/)
...I feel like this is actually legitimately good information. :zombiefuck:
-
(http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mbcjq5xipj1rqe7y6.gif)
-
(https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/7076133120/h2B6F7E5F/)
...I feel like this is actually legitimately good information. :zombiefuck:
:zombiefuck:
Really? Now I'm scared.
-
(https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/7093753344/h2DFF8684/)
-
:laugh: Dr. Bob.
-
lawl
-
...I feel like this is actually legitimately good information. :zombiefuck:
And all the things I'd be uncomfortable in doing as I feel it's not honest and mere sugar coating. I couldn't be with a woman like that.
My checklist would be more like:
Being "needy" = two can play this mind game, I will make you regret that
Being silent = whatever, can't help if you don't say shit
Wanting "physical attention" = seductive asshole mode engaged
Being insecure = pull yourself together you got this <issue>, here's <solution> to deal with it.
Crying for no reason = then I'll give her a hug and then pseudo-pyschologist mode engaged
She's extremely pissed off at you for any or no reason = RUN LIKE FUCK, SPARE YOUR TESTICLES!
Giving you shit over something trivial = Antagonize until she's royally pissed off for entertainment. Then follow the above.
She gives you that "death stare" = Don't touch anything, do not make eye contact, walk away slowly.
Being too "excitable" = Good luck with that, just don't give her any sweets or you'll experience "the crash" effect.
-
Q. How many flies does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A. Just two, but I'd like to know how they got in there.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
-
...I feel like this is actually legitimately good information. :zombiefuck:
And all the things I'd be uncomfortable in doing as I feel it's not honest and mere sugar coating. I couldn't be with a woman like that.
My checklist would be more like:
Being "needy" = two can play this mind game, I will make you regret that
Being silent = whatever, can't help if you don't say shit
Wanting "physical attention" = seductive asshole mode engaged
Being insecure = pull yourself together you got this <issue>, here's <solution> to deal with it.
Crying for no reason = then I'll give her a hug and then pseudo-pyschologist mode engaged
She's extremely pissed off at you for any or no reason = RUN LIKE FUCK, SPARE YOUR TESTICLES!
Giving you shit over something trivial = Antagonize until she's royally pissed off for entertainment. Then follow the above.
She gives you that "death stare" = Don't touch anything, do not make eye contact, walk away slowly.
Being too "excitable" = Good luck with that, just don't give her any sweets or you'll experience "the crash" effect.
...woooooowwwwww.
-
...I feel like this is actually legitimately good information. :zombiefuck:
And all the things I'd be uncomfortable in doing as I feel it's not honest and mere sugar coating. I couldn't be with a woman like that.
My checklist would be more like:
Being "needy" = two can play this mind game, I will make you regret that
Being silent = whatever, can't help if you don't say shit
Wanting "physical attention" = seductive asshole mode engaged
Being insecure = pull yourself together you got this <issue>, here's <solution> to deal with it.
Crying for no reason = then I'll give her a hug and then pseudo-pyschologist mode engaged
She's extremely pissed off at you for any or no reason = RUN LIKE FUCK, SPARE YOUR TESTICLES!
Giving you shit over something trivial = Antagonize until she's royally pissed off for entertainment. Then follow the above.
She gives you that "death stare" = Don't touch anything, do not make eye contact, walk away slowly.
Being too "excitable" = Good luck with that, just don't give her any sweets or you'll experience "the crash" effect.
...woooooowwwwww.
I assume that's sarcasm to imply how beta-as-fuck I am? And how I'll never get a girlfriend due to such an attitude? :zoinks:
But seriously though, I have pretty much no empathy so it'd be a nightmare for me to deal with someone who has high emotional needs. I'm more like a machine that follows trained responses when it comes to handling emotional issues. Hell, I can't even understand my own emotions sometimes because of it.
-
...I feel like this is actually legitimately good information. :zombiefuck:
And all the things I'd be uncomfortable in doing as I feel it's not honest and mere sugar coating. I couldn't be with a woman like that.
My checklist would be more like:
Being "needy" = two can play this mind game, I will make you regret that
Being silent = whatever, can't help if you don't say shit
Wanting "physical attention" = seductive asshole mode engaged
Being insecure = pull yourself together you got this <issue>, here's <solution> to deal with it.
Crying for no reason = then I'll give her a hug and then pseudo-pyschologist mode engaged
She's extremely pissed off at you for any or no reason = RUN LIKE FUCK, SPARE YOUR TESTICLES!
Giving you shit over something trivial = Antagonize until she's royally pissed off for entertainment. Then follow the above.
She gives you that "death stare" = Don't touch anything, do not make eye contact, walk away slowly.
Being too "excitable" = Good luck with that, just don't give her any sweets or you'll experience "the crash" effect.
...woooooowwwwww.
I assume that's sarcasm to imply how beta-as-fuck I am? And how I'll never get a girlfriend due to such an attitude? :zoinks:
But seriously though, I have pretty much no empathy so it'd be a nightmare for me to deal with someone who has high emotional needs. I'm more like a machine that follows trained responses when it comes to handling emotional issues. Hell, I can't even understand my own emotions sometimes because of it.
Infer as you wish. I'll say, though, that you also seem to assume that all displays of emotion are inherently manipulative, and that you seem to assume a romantic relationship will inherently be adversarial.
I definitely agree the chart is overly simplistic, and rather patronizing (frankly, it could apply to either gender just as easily). However, having had the experience of having been with a caring but clueless (and/or extremely passive/"if I don't know what to do, I panic and do nothing" kind of philosophy) guy or two in my time, I gotta say, there've been moments where that retarded chart would have been an improvement, for both involved parties.
'Course, I, like most of the people here, am never remotely spazzy and never find myself having trouble communicating my wants and needs clearly, directly and simply in an easily understandable way to a third party, so clearly, if I do not do so, it is a conscious choice.
-
Fair enough, can't argue with that. But technically I see everything as a adversarial challenge as I'm paranoid. I always assume hostility or manipulation when there is clearly not, so I reciprocate this perceived threat. A rather compulsive nature I find myself unable to avoid and working with a psychologist to resolve. I'm also quite guilty of subterfuge because it's like a guilty pleasure of mine.
But you must know by now that usually when I post something like that, it's usually an exaggerated satire of something I'm thinking about, and not necessarily my raw true thoughts. But still I like to something do things like that to engage in dialogue, that or someone I forget that I'm not on 4chan's /pol/ when I post things like that.
My question is though, what benefit is that to use emotions only to convey something when someone is not incline to explain their situation? I mean wouldn't it be logical to simply say what's on your mind and seek resolution as quick as possible? And I admit, I stumble into this situation myself and before I sought psychological help, I couldn't find resolve.
I assume it's because sometimes people are rather disenfranchised to speak their mind when they fear the response of said person (and the example post I made is why)? Or is it a sense of empathetic connectivity that needs to be established before a person is willing to trust their partner and say something, a form of comforting? Or is it because the person is actually unsure of their own feelings and is still questioning them, and it requires an external input to help them articulate their thoughts and thus, find a solution (or just needs someone to listen/comfort)? Or is there an underlying neurological/psychological condition/trauma that makes it impossible to be solved by merely a quick chat and they need assurance and comfort to seek help from a professional? Or (how could I forget the obvious), it's a strictly confidential matter and none of my business and the person simply isn't able to keep a brave face?
If it's any of those, I see a rational basis in them so I can response but cannot feel that emotional connection that ordinary people may feel.
-
Beware the ginger
-
Fair enough, can't argue with that. But technically I see everything as a adversarial challenge as I'm paranoid. I always assume hostility or manipulation when there is clearly not, so I reciprocate this perceived threat. A rather compulsive nature I find myself unable to avoid and working with a psychologist to resolve. I'm also quite guilty of subterfuge because it's like a guilty pleasure of mine.
But you must know by now that usually when I post something like that, it's usually an exaggerated satire of something I'm thinking about, and not necessarily my raw true thoughts. But still I like to something do things like that to engage in dialogue, that or someone I forget that I'm not on 4chan's /pol/ when I post things like that.
My question is though, what benefit is that to use emotions only to convey something when someone is not incline to explain their situation? I mean wouldn't it be logical to simply say what's on your mind and seek resolution as quick as possible? And I admit, I stumble into this situation myself and before I sought psychological help, I couldn't find resolve.
I assume it's because sometimes people are rather disenfranchised to speak their mind when they fear the response of said person (and the example post I made is why)? Or is it a sense of empathetic connectivity that needs to be established before a person is willing to trust their partner and say something, a form of comforting? Or is it because the person is actually unsure of their own feelings and is still questioning them, and it requires an external input to help them articulate their thoughts and thus, find a solution (or just needs someone to listen/comfort)? Or is there an underlying neurological/psychological condition/trauma that makes it impossible to be solved by merely a quick chat and they need assurance and comfort to seek help from a professional? Or (how could I forget the obvious), it's a strictly confidential matter and none of my business and the person simply isn't able to keep a brave face?
If it's any of those, I see a rational basis in them so I can response but cannot feel that emotional connection that ordinary people may feel.
re: the long line of possible reasons people don't speak their minds: All are potential reasons, yes, and these are probably only a few of the possibilities. As is manipulation (manipulation is almost always an option to explain behavior). Depends on the person, on the situation, etc. Personally (as an additional option), one of my spazzy little quirks is I have trouble verbally communicating when extremely upset (can get a debilitating stutter/have trouble processing in a way that makes coherent sentences come up)- and I know that's something that does happen to others, though I'm not sure how common it is (and I believe it may be particularly common for folks on the spectrum, though that's my memory of anecdotal info, so I may be off). There are often "logical" (or, at least, articulateable) reasons for people's seemingly illogical or irrational behavior. More often than not, there are, IMO. Which is fortunate if you don't have the "feel" part, but can intellectualize.
We're close enough to being 4chan that it was fair fodder to bring up (as almost everything usually is); we're also often privvy to the backwash from WP, where half the guys on there actually do think like that (or similar), and don't have insight that their mindsets are fucked. So, I made no immediate judgement call on just how serious your statement was, but also did not hold back my response.
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(http://www.explosm.net/db/files/Comics/Dave/bulliesbullyingbullies1.png)
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(https://sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-prn1/554931_546627658692425_1413362732_n.jpg)
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(http://i.imgur.com/cNf97k7.jpg)
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(http://i.imgur.com/cNf97k7.jpg)
Shit like this makes me never want to have sex ever again. Particularly the implicit "rape is normal" joke. Mind, I have a fair bit of gallows humor, myself, but the annoying part with this particular bit of "humor" is that it's not really acknowledging that that's what it's implying.
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Shit like this makes me never want to have sex ever again. Particularly the implicit "rape is normal" joke. Mind, I have a fair bit of gallows humor, myself, but the annoying part with this particular bit of "humor" is that it's not really acknowledging that that's what it's implying.
You don't have to have sex and not if you don't want. If you don't want to have sex again, simply don't
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I don't see the "rape is normal" part.
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I don't see the "rape is normal" part.
I tried, but I can't either :dunno:
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I don't see the "rape is normal" part.
I tried, but I can't either :dunno:
I didn't either. :-\
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Just because you don't like something doesn't make it non-consensual.
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Absolutely. Visa versa too. I think that the main thing is that if PMSElle doesn't wish to have sex again then she knows the choice is hers and she shouldnt
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(http://www.ultimatetop10s.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/12/Breath-Smells.jpg)
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1. The allusion to the dude trying to go for anal during doggystyle when the woman isn't consenting to it; the idea that this is a normal and OK concern.
2. I agree that disliking something does not make it non-consentual. However, again, there's sort of this weird allusion/effed up vibe, particularly, I'll point out if the woman is supposed to be thinking "No;" it's left ambiguous. Also, might I add, "Don't do it again" is an inadequate offering; stopping at any time anyone says it needs to stop is an important component of consent. And, again, there's something of an allusion to this not really being considered.
I know the OP was not seriously-meant. I could get into the rant on it, but I'll try to leave it at, "Occasionally I see things like that, and want to facepalm at a sizeable chunk of our culture."
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I saw it as the old running joke that guys always want to piitb, and women don't want it. The guy endlessly pestering her to try it, not him forcing her or doing it after she said no. Having never tried (and no desire) to do anal, this was my understanding of the cliche.
You know me well enough to know I don't think rape is funny.
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(http://i.imgur.com/DlFUp6S.jpg)
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IGGTUVuYc1E# (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IGGTUVuYc1E#)
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I saw it as the old running joke that guys always want to piitb, and women don't want it. The guy endlessly pestering her to try it, not him forcing her or doing it after she said no. Having never tried (and no desire) to do anal, this was my understanding of the cliche.
You know me well enough to know I don't think rape is funny.
I know you don't, which is part of why I actually commented on it- I knew you didn't mean it that way. There is also something of a cliche of "whoops, I missed" being way to "excuse" perpetrating unwanted anal sex on one's partner, and that this is somehow genuinely not in fact removing consent.
I tend to "whistle in the dark" with my sense of humor; joking about the un-funny isn't what bugged me. The idea that the joke was, in fact, potentially referring to rape (as I read it) without actually acknowledged that that was what it was doing/instead, normalizing it, was what bothered me, if that makes sense.
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1. The allusion to the dude trying to go for anal during doggystyle when the woman isn't consenting to it; the idea that this is a normal and OK concern.
2. I agree that disliking something does not make it non-consentual. However, again, there's sort of this weird allusion/effed up vibe, particularly, I'll point out if the woman is supposed to be thinking "No;" it's left ambiguous. Also, might I add, "Don't do it again" is an inadequate offering; stopping at any time anyone says it needs to stop is an important component of consent. And, again, there's something of an allusion to this not really being considered.
I know the OP was not seriously-meant. I could get into the rant on it, but I'll try to leave it at, "Occasionally I see things like that, and want to facepalm at a sizeable chunk of our culture."
Actually I got from this that the guy had finally got the girl to consent to anal and during the act was like "Yes" as in "This is great. We got to do this more" and she is saying "No" as in "fuck doing this again this is not fun"
It is a variation in my mind of a was that as good for you as it was to me answered by a "No" (Bad sex is not necessarily sex that is not consensual nor is it a follow on conclusion that one partner has specifically said no (rather than perhaps thought it or whatever)
So again. I can not see the lack of consent at all. As to whether this is normal? I don't know. I would imagine that if it was otherwise posted that a great time was had by all it would not have been playing a she thought/he thought and not as amusing. But that does not allude to consent nor non-consent unto itself. I do not see where the allusion is that you are speaking of?
As to consent and saying no and stopping, you are preaching to the converted. What are you basing this on apart from an allusion that you have or a vibe?
It doesn't look like a lot. And THIS puts you of from sex for life? OK? Makes no real sense to me but I guess it doesn't have to.
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I saw it as the old running joke that guys always want to piitb, and women don't want it. The guy endlessly pestering her to try it, not him forcing her or doing it after she said no. Having never tried (and no desire) to do anal, this was my understanding of the cliche.
You know me well enough to know I don't think rape is funny.
I know you don't, which is part of why I actually commented on it- I knew you didn't mean it that way. There is also something of a cliche of "whoops, I missed" being way to "excuse" perpetrating unwanted anal sex on one's partner, and that this is somehow genuinely not in fact removing consent.
I tend to "whistle in the dark" with my sense of humor; joking about the un-funny isn't what bugged me. The idea that the joke was, in fact, potentially referring to rape (as I read it) without actually acknowledged that that was what it was doing/instead, normalizing it, was what bothered me, if that makes sense.
Looking at the last two comments ("Please dont..." to "Nooooo!"), I do see what you mean.
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(http://25.media.tumblr.com/552c3130335cc81bc778d8ba88ca983e/tumblr_mgpijxBSp11rj4ww1o1_1280.jpg)
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(http://t2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSVzeATW5dzDnvfUOF1ZzQflQjIuEgau5T_w8tXM5gd97DCWTWO)
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(http://sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash3/542846_499861953409682_238879842_n.jpg)
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(http://sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-snc7/480263_502623276461367_37627887_n.jpg)
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(https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/7102278400/hDD4874F2/)
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Rapid Fire Cat Knocks on Owner's Door (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xbdaYnKdXT4#ws)
Somebody needs to let kitty in
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Cats Can Be Jerks (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xITL62e2u-4#ws)
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(http://sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash3/522629_623395561023234_182564773_n.jpg)
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(https://sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash3/541021_10101123868440549_556641735_n.jpg)
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(https://sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-prn1/31477_442820142461607_658822372_n.jpg)
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(http://sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash3/549933_493719234026580_847494947_n.jpg)
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(http://sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash3/580496_10151541884481271_1470474909_n.jpg)
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(http://sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-prn1/734316_504718912923749_1992617362_n.jpg)
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(https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/7138311936/hE34A8DA9/)
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(https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/7140402176/h9C4DE455/)
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NEW WORK SHIRT
(https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/7138831360/h2B2AAD0A/)
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(https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/7117563648/hF6BB8BB6/)
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(https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/7138465536/h7F223A50/)
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(https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/7140391936/hC8928D25/)
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(https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/4977436672/h6C7A46D4/)
(https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/7133241600/hA4624439/)
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Dave Grohl is awesome.
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(https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/5445682432/hF261B05C/)
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(https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/7155548416/h09F733BE/)
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(https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/7130220544/h390771B2/)
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(https://sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash4/269291_511265278913770_121889095_n.jpg)
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Today.
(https://sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash3/602732_503888416318123_1867098308_n.jpg)
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(https://sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash4/283323_480385938668371_1412174719_n.jpg)
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(https://sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-prn1/21923_474304959276469_1604298103_n.jpg)
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(https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/5445682432/hF261B05C/)
Spock is my fucking hero.
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(https://sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash3/550625_469372236436408_2034389610_n.jpg)
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(https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/5445682432/hF261B05C/)
Spock is my fucking hero.
Spock fucks?
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(https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/7183802880/h79449C46/)
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(https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/7183802880/h79449C46/)
(https://encrypted-tbn1.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRyX2JDFogZxx3DA11WyKarWAe57dm4Flv4bbt6SgcWdevsarfZVQ)
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That's just wrong.
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(https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/7183802880/h79449C46/)
Mmmmm bacon. :autism:
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(https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/4961265920/h3AE614AA/)
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(https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/7254406912/hA3D90428/)
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(http://25.media.tumblr.com/bb7e84571fb46aeda86100ac2ef86bf8/tumblr_mkwt3z9mqT1snnpiqo1_1280.png)
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(http://25.media.tumblr.com/bfa9b4f6271214eabd4cc10b9f733d27/tumblr_mkr6e3g3191snnpiqo1_1280.png)
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(http://media-cache-lt0.pinterest.com/550x/59/5a/79/595a79cad5d7191fa5c1a9cb03916d24.jpg)
(http://media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/550x/e3/06/44/e3064459db823f125912b2439f7926dd.jpg)
(well, wasn't my intention to post the whole string (of pics) there.. but hey.. doesn't matter much)
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Worry about yourself - LOL (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4A6Bu96ALOw#ws)
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#Thirdworldproblems
Man's Penis Stuck Inside Another Man's Wife (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YhiMjiE1_RU#)
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(http://i0.wp.com/randompics.net/wp-content/main/2013_05/xVoyMKM.jpg?resize=500%2C375)
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Worry about yourself - LOL (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4A6Bu96ALOw#ws)
Dude I must have gotten some chick pregnant and didn't know about it or something at some point. That could be my daughter.
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Q: How do sheep greet each other at Christmas?
A: Merry Christmas to Ewe!
Q: How do sheep in Mexico say Merry Christmas?
A: "Fleece Navidad!"
Q: How many sheep does it take to knit a sweater?
A: Don't be silly - sheep can't knit!
Q: What animal sounds like a sheep but isn't?
A: A baaaa-boon!
Q: What do you call a dancing sheep?
A: A baa-lerina!
Q: What do you call a sheep that is always quiet?
A: A shhhheep!
Q: What do you call a sheep with no legs?
A: A cloud.
Q: What do you get when you cross a sheep and a porcupine?
A: An animal that can sew its own sweaters.
Q: Where did the sheep get a haircut?
A: The baa-baa shop!
Q: Where do sheep get their wool cut?
A: At the baa-baa shop!
Q: Where do sheeps take a bath?
A: In a baaaa-th tub!
Q: Why was the sheep arrested on the freeway?
A: Because she did a ewe-turn!
Q: Why couldn't the little lamb play outside?
A: It was being baaaaaaaad!
Religious Cowboy
The devout cowboy lost his favorite Bible while he was mending fences out on the range.
Three weeks later, a sheep walked up to him carrying the Bible in its mouth.
The cowboy couldn't believe his eyes.
He took the precious book out of the sheep's mouth, raised his eyes heavenward and exclaimed, "It's a miracle!"
"Not really," said the sheep. "Your name is written inside the cover."
Night of Drinking
A man and his pet sheep walk into a bar. It's about 5pm, but they're ready for a good night of drinking.
They start off slowly, watching TV, drinking beer, eating peanuts. As the night goes on they move to mixed drinks, and then shooters, one after the other.
Finally, the bartender says: "Last call."
So, the man says, "One more for me... and one more for my sheep."
The bartender sets them up and they shoot them back. Suddenly, the sheep falls over dead.
The man throws some money on the bar, puts on his coat and starts to leave.
The bartender, yells: "Hey buddy, you can't just leave that lyin' there."
To which the man replies: "That's not a lion, that's a sheep."
Movies
A man in a movie theater notices what looks like a sheep sitting next to him.
"Are you a sheep?" asked the man, surprised.
"Yes."
"What are you doing at the movies?"
The sheep replied, "Well, I liked the book."
Front Seat
A policeman in the big city stops a man in a car with a sheep in the front seat.
"What are you doing with that sheep?" He exclaimed, "You should take it to the zoo."
The following week, the same policeman sees the same man with the sheep again in the front seat, with both of them wearing sunglasses. The policeman pulls him over.
"I thought you were going to take that sheep to the zoo!"
The man replied, "I did. We had such a good time we are going to the beach this weekend!"
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Fuck your moment. I am baby!
(https://fbcdn-sphotos-c-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/s480x480/420731_371427759633787_1838116124_n.jpg)
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This is hilarious, although since the letters are capital, it should be "ROMANI ITE DOMVM" :laugh:
Romans Go Home (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XbI-fDzUJXI#ws)
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Good old Monty Python. :thumbup:
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Authentic Roman humour, translated poems by Catullus (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Catullus)
Here he ridicules some of Caesar's male lovers:
54. Oh Caesar! : of Otho’s head
Otho’s head is quite tiny,
and it’s owner’s legs loutishly unclean,
soft and delicate is Libo’s farting:
if not with all that, then let me displease you
with Sufficio, old age renewed...
again let my worthless iambics
rile you, our one and only general.
Here he shows his despise for some guy who gets plenty of women although being disgusting and having a very foul mouth:
97. Disgusting: to Aemilius
I did not (may the gods love me) think it mattered,
whether I might be smelling Aemilius’s mouth or arse.
The one’s no cleaner, the other’s no dirtier,
in fact his arse is both cleaner and nicer:
since it’s no teeth. Indeed, the other has
foot long teeth, gums like an old box-cart,
and jaws that usually gape like the open
cunt of a pissing mule on heat.
He fucks lots of women, and makes himself out
to be charming, and isn’t set to the mill with the ass?
Shouldn’t we think, of any girl touching him,
she’s capable of licking a foul hangman’s arse?
Another guy with a terrible breath:
98. Well Armed: to Victius
About you, if anyone, Stinking Victius, can be said
what they say of the verbose and fatuous.
With that tongue, if the need arose,
you could lick arses, and leather-soled sandals.
If you want to destroy us completely, Victius,
gape at us: what you desire you’ll wholly achieve.
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(https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/7436104192/h66B6E264/)
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From www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2013/05/07/toilet-love/ (http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2013/05/07/toilet-love/)
(http://farm9.static.flickr.com/8082/8293554298_d01709a45a_b.jpg)
I've been laughing at this for like two minutes straight. Which probably says more about me and my current sleep debt than it does the note.
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related note:
http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2012/03/06/well-thats-terrifying/ (http://www.passiveaggressivenotes.com/2012/03/06/well-thats-terrifying/)
Oh my god I haven't laughed like this in weeks.
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(https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/7437526272/h9131A7E7/)
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(https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/7443957760/h076CD2BB/)
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(https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/7438492160/h109929E1/)
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(https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/7424742400/h2F293AFE/)
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(https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/4935429632/h38146208/)
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(https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/7448111616/h852325B2/)
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(https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/7445989120/h988AB479/)
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(https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/7442022400/h9771C2CC/)
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(https://fbcdn-sphotos-b-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-prn2/969587_521884801200109_787935720_n.jpg)
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.
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(https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/7558265344/h7F53CD1A/)
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(https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/7544476928/h9FE42CE1/)
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Hit 47 times : Drunk Girl talks sh*t, then gets beaten up ! (Original) (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SC5ErP_fwKE#ws)
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The 2.99 Special
We went to breakfast at a restaurant where the 'seniors' special' was two eggs, bacon, hash browns and toast for $2.99.
'Sounds good,' my wife said. 'But I don't want the eggs.'
'Then, I'll have to charge you $3.49 because you're ordering a la carte,' the waitress warned her.
'You mean I'd have to pay for not taking the eggs?' my wife asked incredulously.
'YES!' stated the waitress.
'I'll take the special then,' my wife said.
'How do you want your eggs?' the waitress asked.
'Raw and in the shell,' my wife replied.
She took the two eggs home and baked a cake.
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(https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/7572958976/h7C300FD6/)
god I love the last panel
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Drama amongst furries?
(https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/7575809536/h5384A067/)
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....leper?
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....leper?
yes, that's what the poster meant. I find the typo amusing.
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(https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/7592531712/hDCAE3F6F/)
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(https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/7510616064/hE58033B0/)
This made sense to me without the correction.
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(https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/7601635072/h9D7935B8/)
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(https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/7604079360/hBCFAD401/)
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(https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/7508988928/h107280E1/)
(https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/7521949696/h83A7E17E/)
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(https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/7519010304/h83EED403/)
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(https://sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-prn1/1017373_10151566552563673_1156195533_n.png)
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(https://sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash3/941986_598126896871760_905503804_n.jpg)
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(https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/7515468032/h56033DF8/)
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(https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/7582516992/h034399A2/)
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http://dailydishonesty.com (http://dailydishonesty.com)
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(https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/7629032192/h3ED3A659/)
(https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/7634826496/h63C9E556/)
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(https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/4830970624/h42C5E53E/)
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Went past this on the bus on Tuesday night. Fuck knows why it's called that
(picture from google street view obviously, not me)
(http://img4.imageshack.us/img4/2117/l2gq.jpg)
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(http://imageshack.us/a/img6/4172/4sqe.jpg)
(http://imageshack.us/a/img197/9036/1vhd.jpg)
(http://imageshack.us/a/img199/7494/d8jh.jpg)
(http://imageshack.us/a/img594/8321/wpx4.jpg)
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Asiana pilots (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YU2m3xf99R4#ws)
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(https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/7642983680/hAB05086F/)
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(https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/4821363200/h1F02D23D/)
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(https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/7677606144/h4C01005B/)
(https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/7677896704/hDB46A49F/)
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(https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/7510616064/hE58033B0/)
This made sense to me without the correction.
:thumbup:
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(http://img850.imageshack.us/img850/3103/t7d8.jpg)
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I'm stuck in the wrong body!
(http://www.mijnalbum.nl/Foto550-ZI7YX44O.jpg)
(out of today's newspaper)
(um, never mind)
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:lol1:
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What is it? Thinking Google isn't translating that right.
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^ Did you miss what I wrote there? Translating it (hopefully properly).
Not 100% sure if the little jokelet works though.
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^ Did you miss what I wrote there? Translating it (hopefully properly).
Not 100% sure if the little jokelet works though.
Yes. Did miss it. Thanks, Lutra. :laugh:
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You're welcome, Jack.
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Leroy was visiting a friend in the hospital. He was trying to stop smoking and was chewing on an unlit cigar when he got on the elevator. A lady said to him with a snarl, 'Sir, there's no smoking in here.'
"Leroy said, " Lady, I'm not smoking."
"But you have a cigar in your mouth!", the woman said.
"'Lady", Leroy answered, "I'm wearing Jockey shorts, too, but I don't ride horses indoors either."
-
(http://i.imgur.com/D13vkWi.png)
(http://fbcdn-sphotos-b-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash3/944935_10151425178792213_415600122_n.jpg)
-
(http://i.imgur.com/PPNN3j2.png)
-
Remember when jokes ruled? Now it's all photobombs, twitter mistakes, Icanhazcheezburger (which I love).
Two little boys walked into a drug store. "May I help you?," asked the druggist. "We'd like a box of Tampax, please," replied the older boy.
"Is it for your mother?," the druggist asked. "No," the boy replied.
"Oh, then it must be for your big sister." said the curious druggist.
"No, it's for my little brother," the older boy replied enthusiastically. "We heard on TV that if you use Tampax you can swim and ride a bike and he can't do either one yet."
-
(http://24.media.tumblr.com/4ea7f221fb33cf01d3bb60436f2ad4b3/tumblr_mqsi6mmT7i1rybdj6o1_500.jpg)
Remember when jokes ruled? Now it's all photobombs, twitter mistakes, Icanhazcheezburger (which I love).
Two little boys walked into a drug store. "May I help you?," asked the druggist. "We'd like a box of Tampax, please," replied the older boy.
"Is it for your mother?," the druggist asked. "No," the boy replied.
"Oh, then it must be for your big sister." said the curious druggist.
"No, it's for my little brother," the older boy replied enthusiastically. "We heard on TV that if you use Tampax you can swim and ride a bike and he can't do either one yet."
so THAT'S what I've been doing wrong!
-
(http://24.media.tumblr.com/4ea7f221fb33cf01d3bb60436f2ad4b3/tumblr_mqsi6mmT7i1rybdj6o1_500.jpg)
I've never had confetti. How disappointing. :(
-
(http://img163.imageshack.us/img163/6942/ob4t.png)
-
(http://img607.imageshack.us/img607/4379/m2ny.jpg)
-
(http://www.indigoandviolet.com/uploads/1/5/5/3/15536868/6740838_orig.jpg)
-
haha thats fuckin gross
-
THE JEWISH QUARTERBACK
The coach had put together the perfect team for the Chicago Bears. The only thing that was missing was a good quarterback.
Then one night while watching CNN he saw a war-zone scene in the West Bank . In one corner of the background, he spotted a young Israeli soldier with a truly incredible arm. He threw a hand-grenade straight into a 15th story window 100 yards away.
KABOOM!
He threw another hand-grenade 75 yards away, right into a chimney.
KA-BLOOEY!
Then he threw another at a passing car going 90 mph.
BULLS-EYE!
"I've got to get this guy!" Coach said to himself. "He has the perfect arm!"
So, he brings him to the States and teaches him the great game of
football. And the Bears go on to win the Super Bowl.
The young man is hailed as the great hero of football, and when the coach asks him what he wants, all the young man wants is to call his mother.
"Mom," he says into the phone, "I just won the Super Bowl!"
"I don't want to talk to you, the old woman says."You are no longer my son!"
"I don't think you understand, Mother," "I've won the greatest sporting event in the world. I'm here among thousands of my adoring fans."
"No! Let me tell you!" his mother retorts. "At this very moment, there are gunshots all around us. The neighborhood is a pile of rubble. Your two brothers were beaten within an inch of their lives last week, and I have to keep your sister in the house so she doesn't get raped!"
The old lady pauses, and then tearfully says,..........
"I will never forgive you for making us move to Chicago !!!!
-
THE JEWISH QUARTERBACK
The coach had put together the perfect team for the Chicago Bears. The only thing that was missing was a good quarterback.
Then one night while watching CNN he saw a war-zone scene in the West Bank . In one corner of the background, he spotted a young Israeli soldier with a truly incredible arm. He threw a hand-grenade straight into a 15th story window 100 yards away.
KABOOM!
He threw another hand-grenade 75 yards away, right into a chimney.
KA-BLOOEY!
Then he threw another at a passing car going 90 mph.
BULLS-EYE!
"I've got to get this guy!" Coach said to himself. "He has the perfect arm!"
So, he brings him to the States and teaches him the great game of
football. And the Bears go on to win the Super Bowl.
The young man is hailed as the great hero of football, and when the coach asks him what he wants, all the young man wants is to call his mother.
"Mom," he says into the phone, "I just won the Super Bowl!"
"I don't want to talk to you, the old woman says."You are no longer my son!"
"I don't think you understand, Mother," "I've won the greatest sporting event in the world. I'm here among thousands of my adoring fans."
"No! Let me tell you!" his mother retorts. "At this very moment, there are gunshots all around us. The neighborhood is a pile of rubble. Your two brothers were beaten within an inch of their lives last week, and I have to keep your sister in the house so she doesn't get raped!"
The old lady pauses, and then tearfully says,..........
"I will never forgive you for making us move to Chicago !!!!
/me
:zoinks:
-
Why I got divorced... Sad story of a Man !!
Last week was my birthday... My wife didn't wish me... My parents forgot and so did my kids....
I went to work.. Even my colleagues didn't wish me.. As I entered my cabin my secretary said, "Happy Birthday Boss"..
I felt so special... She asked me out to lunch... After lunch, she invited me to her apartment...
WE went there... She said, "Do you mind if i go into the bedroom for a minute ?"
"OKAY", I said... She came out 5min later with a cake And My Wife, My Parents, My Kids , My Friends & My Colleagues...
All Screaming, SURPRISE...
And I was waiting on the sofa... NAKED
-
THE JEWISH QUARTERBACK
The coach had put together the perfect team for the Chicago Bears. The only thing that was missing was a good quarterback.
Then one night while watching CNN he saw a war-zone scene in the West Bank . In one corner of the background, he spotted a young Israeli soldier with a truly incredible arm. He threw a hand-grenade straight into a 15th story window 100 yards away.
KABOOM!
He threw another hand-grenade 75 yards away, right into a chimney.
KA-BLOOEY!
Then he threw another at a passing car going 90 mph.
BULLS-EYE!
"I've got to get this guy!" Coach said to himself. "He has the perfect arm!"
So, he brings him to the States and teaches him the great game of
football. And the Bears go on to win the Super Bowl.
The young man is hailed as the great hero of football, and when the coach asks him what he wants, all the young man wants is to call his mother.
"Mom," he says into the phone, "I just won the Super Bowl!"
"I don't want to talk to you, the old woman says."You are no longer my son!"
"I don't think you understand, Mother," "I've won the greatest sporting event in the world. I'm here among thousands of my adoring fans."
"No! Let me tell you!" his mother retorts. "At this very moment, there are gunshots all around us. The neighborhood is a pile of rubble. Your two brothers were beaten within an inch of their lives last week, and I have to keep your sister in the house so she doesn't get raped!"
The old lady pauses, and then tearfully says,..........
"I will never forgive you for making us move to Chicago !!!!
It seems unlikely that an Israeli would consider american football to be the greatest sporting event in the world
-
Why I got divorced... Sad story of a Man !!
Last week was my birthday... My wife didn't wish me... My parents forgot and so did my kids....
I went to work.. Even my colleagues didn't wish me.. As I entered my cabin my secretary said, "Happy Birthday Boss"..
I felt so special... She asked me out to lunch... After lunch, she invited me to her apartment...
WE went there... She said, "Do you mind if i go into the bedroom for a minute ?"
"OKAY", I said... She came out 5min later with a cake And My Wife, My Parents, My Kids , My Friends & My Colleagues...
All Screaming, SURPRISE...
And I was waiting on the sofa... NAKED
He worked in a cabin?
-
Even if this doesn't fit now, save it for later on.
25 SIGNS YOU HAVE GROWN UP
1. Your houseplants are alive, and you can't smoke any of them.
2. Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question.
3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge.
4. 6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to bed.
5. You hear your favorite song in an elevator.
6. You watch the Weather Channel.
7. Your friends marry and divorce instead of "hook up" and "break up."
8. You go from 130 days of vacation time to 14.
9. Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as "dressed up."
10. You're the one calling the police because those %&@# kids next door won't turn down the stereo.
11. Older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you.
12. You don't know what time Taco Bell closes anymore.
13. Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up.
14. You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonald's leftovers.
15. Sleeping on the couch makes your back hurt.
16. You take naps.
17. Dinner and a movie is the whole date instead of the beginning of one.
18. Eating a basket of chicken wings at 3 AM would severely upset, rather than settle, your stomach.
19. You go to the drug store for ibuprofen and antacid, not condoms and pregnancy tests.
20. A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer "pretty good shit."
21. You actually eat breakfast food at breakfast time.
22. "I just can't drink the way I used to" replaces "I'm never going to drink that much again."
23. 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work.
24. You drink at home to save money before going to a bar.
25. When you find out your friend is pregnant you congratulate them instead of asking "Oh shit, what the hell happened?"
Bonus:
26: You read this entire list looking desperately for one sign that doesn't apply to you and can't find one to save your sorry old butt.
-
It seems unlikely that an Israeli would consider american football to be the greatest sporting event in the world
:agreed:
In most parts of the world, people play proper football instead
-
Why do they call it "football" when they play it with their hands? :facepalm2:
-
Because they're fucking dumb americans :tard:
-
Billy Wingrove's Learn Freestyle Football (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rPcdG8gToPU#ws)
-
Why do they call it "football" when they play it with their hands? :facepalm2:
Because they're fucking dumb americans :tard:
At least football involves kicking at some point. How many insects are involved in a game of cricket? :autism:
-
Smack The Pony - Series 1, Episode 1 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EndIY05kTN8#)
-
(http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_machiaQ89H1rg6mswo1_250.gif)
-
https://socialreader.com/me/content/XALA1?chid=4045
-
Because they're fucking dumb americans :tard:
That was uncalled for :(
-
Sorry, are you a dumb american too? :(
-
Because they're fucking dumb americans :tard:
That was uncalled for :(
Why be sad? Show those posh, oddly-accented tyrants across the ocean why we won every war we fought against them! :arrr:
:tooledup:
-
Sorry, are you a dumb american too? :(
I don't think so
-
(http://quicklol.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/omnomnomnivore.jpg)
(http://quicklol.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/06/everyone-wants-to-be-liked-except-for-tim.jpg)
(http://quicklol.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/clockwork-man-animated-gif.gif)
(http://quicklol.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/06/404-tiles-not-found.jpg)
(http://quicklol.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/06/dog-bites-a-license-plate-off-a-car.gif)
(http://quicklol.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/06/old-men-hard-of-hearing.jpg)
-
Except for Tim. :laugh:
-
Love those dogs.
-
(https://fbcdn-sphotos-c-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/q71/1011507_570297543032204_1394899922_n.jpg)
-
(https://fbcdn-sphotos-c-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/q71/1011507_570297543032204_1394899922_n.jpg)
The IRA Pirate is a butterface sphincter pirate. :P
-
You're a lazy rectum hammer.
-
You're a lazy rectum hammer.
That's rich, coming from a tone-deaf boner waffle. :P
-
I like to think I'm a communist crotch jockey, but if you prefer. :zoinks:
-
(https://fbcdn-sphotos-c-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/q71/1011507_570297543032204_1394899922_n.jpg)
I think Lestat has a much bigger one on an excel spreadsheet ;)
-
(https://fbcdn-sphotos-c-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/q71/1011507_570297543032204_1394899922_n.jpg)
I think Lestat has a much bigger one on an excel spreadsheet ;)
Lestat doesn't need a spreadsheet; Lestat is the spreadsheet.
You smelly nut goblin! :P
-
(https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/4789104896/h7087DA51/)
Someone else out there had the same idea as me, else my concept traveled to failbook somehow.
-
(https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/6823805184/h69DF9490/)
-
THIS BREAKS IT DOWN PERFECTLY
(https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/7777541376/h4A717D0A/)
-
(https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/6823805184/h69DF9490/)
:dunno:
-
(https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/4789104896/h7087DA51/)
Someone else out there had the same idea as me, else my concept traveled to failbook somehow.
FUTURAMA
:headbang2: :'(
-
(http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/sandwich.png)
-
(http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/sandwich.png)
Cheesy Unix joke is cheesy. :nerdy:
-
(https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/7788005120/hC0CF5F59/)
I strongly concur, give her a medal.
-
(https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/7778844672/h3CDC78F8/)
-
(https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/6937916160/h9C9665D0/)
-
(https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/7389639680/hD5945E47/)
My first assumption was legitly that this was a gay man who had married a woman.
-
(https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/7788005120/hC0CF5F59/)
I strongly concur, give her a medal.
Awesome. Maybe I will get to use this in future.
-
(http://www.demotivationalposters.org/image/demotivational-poster/small/1006/safety-fail-safety-gun-shoot-kill-motifake-demotivational-poster-1277151649.jpg)
(http://oda141teamroom.files.wordpress.com/2011/11/revolver_wsilencer.jpg)
-
Awesome. Maybe I will get to use this in future.
:thumbup: :headbang2:
-
(https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/7854621696/h24903772/)
-
(https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/7847747328/hAFD60F35/)
-
AD FOR GOODNESS SHAKES AWKWARD SHAKE UK (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tgUc12XSFK4#ws)
-
AD FOR GOODNESS SHAKES AWKWARD SHAKE UK (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tgUc12XSFK4#ws)
OH BTW, I plussed you for the funny cats, after my daughter discovered a new place on youtube, but not this more suggestive adult content one.
I larfed at both, though.
:thumbup:
-
Pillsbury Doughboy Obituary
It is with the saddest heart that I must pass on the following news:
Please join me in remembering a great icon of the entertainment community.
The Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday of a yeast infection and complications from repeated pokes in the belly.
He was 71.
Doughboy was buried in a lightly greased coffin.
Dozens of celebrities turned out to pay their respects, including Mrs. Butterworth, Hungry Jack, the California Raisins, Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies and Captain Crunch.
The grave site was piled high with flours.
Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy and lovingly described Doughboy as a man who never knew how much he was kneaded.
Doughboy rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with turnovers. He was not considered a very smart cookie, wasting much of his dough on half-baked schemes.
Despite being a little flaky at times, he still, as a crusty old man, was considered a roll model for millions.
Doughboy is survived by his wife, Play Dough; three children John Dough, Jane Dough and Dill Dough; plus they had one in the oven.
He is also survived by his elderly father, Pop Tart.
The funeral was held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes.
-
Dill Dough? :aff:
-
http://themetapicture.com/this-is-much-more-entertaining-than-it-should-be/ (http://themetapicture.com/this-is-much-more-entertaining-than-it-should-be/)
(http://cdn.themetapicture.com/media/funny-printer-neighbours-chicken.jpg)
-
(https://scontent-a-iad.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-prn2/q71/1476364_657913880925570_505886883_n.jpg)
-
(https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/7884616960/h1B660206/)
Really? Because I gotta say, I think that can be a really disappointing moment.
-
Read the article on the bottom right, then read the caption on the bottom left. Brits will probably have seen this.
Perhaps we need a thread for mocking Great Britain. :P
(http://screenagers.me/wp-content/uploads/2010/07/chestswell.jpg)
-
I have one foot in my grave at nearly sixty years old (but most say I do not look anywhere near that old) and one foot really trying my best to get past my hip surgery. I am doing all I can to build up muscle in my lower body again (my upper body has not suffered the atrophy of surgery, etc and still is quite presentable, for my age.)
I had a forty something year old gay try (I am not sure what I did to present him with an opportunity) to attract my favor today.
I guess the funny part is that I often have to keep my own self from doing the same to the twenty or thirty something year old women (showing off as quite available) I see every day. I am married, quite well, thank you, but I am still a man. I am still susceptible to TEH "charms" I perceive as available.
I resist. I do. I always will continue to resist those younger women.
BUT, that younger guy was quite attractive, just not my type. (pretty sure he had a dick instead of a pussy.)
-
From another old lady (The Mean Queen in Life After Money blog):
My tom cat used to stay out all night, so I took him to the vet and had him neutered. Now he still stays out all night - it turns out he likes to watch!
Man to friend, 'I've really had it with my dog, he'll chase anyone on a bike.' Friend, 'What are you going to do? Have him put down?' Man, 'No, I think I'll just take his bike away'.
A man goes for a check-up. The doctor says, 'I'm going to need a urine sample, a semen sample, a blood sample, and a stool sample.' The man replies, 'I'm in a hurry. Can I just leave my underpants?'
Two bachelors are talking about cooking. 'I got a cook book once,' says one. 'But I could never do anything with it.' 'Were the recipes too hard?' asks the other. 'No,' he replies. But each of the recipes began the same way - take a clean dish.....'
It's late evening and Tom's wife catches him pouring six cans of lager down the toilet. 'What on earth are you doing?' she says. Tom replies, 'Well it seems a waste, but I thought it'd save me getting up in the night.'
-
(https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/7898028544/h8C96EF2B/)
-
(https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/7907151104/h60624D9E/)
-
Tooke me years to figure out what less than three means. :laugh:
-
http://www.fmylife.com/intimacy/20963297 (http://www.fmylife.com/intimacy/20963297)
Today, my boyfriend went down on me. I don't know why, but my mind wandered. He now thinks that he has the skills of a porn star, while I'm pretty sure that finally solving a mathematical problem I've been working on for a week caused me to orgasm. FML
-
http://www.fmylife.com/health/20963305 (http://www.fmylife.com/health/20963305)
elle says FML
Today, I saw a psychiatrist for the first time. After telling her everything I'm going through, she looked at me and said "You know... every five years or so I get a case completely beyond my ability to help." I guess it's been five years. FML
This isn't me, but I lolled at the name coincidence anyway.
-
(https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/7908133888/h5C124D58/)
-
(https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/7908524544/h2BB11DB9/)
-
What's a hot pocket? :eyebrow:
-
What's a hot pocket? :eyebrow:
They're a sort of easy-to-cook meal that's popular in America. They're as healthy as they look.
(http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_5kM8AWE0GaI/S9M9HSSfnnI/AAAAAAAACew/Z41_9M-Utzw/s1600/pockets+1.png#pepperoni%20hot%20pocket%201600x1407)
-
Healthy? Fatty fat, I'd say. How unexpected - not :M
-
Healthy? Fatty fat, I'd say. How unexpected - not :M
Did you expect it to be healthy? :orly:
-
Of course not :M
-
Think Cornish Pasty.
-
Hot pockets are a great idea in theory, but they taste like shit. :-\ Well, I don't really know what shit taste like, but they taste like the smell of shit.
-
(https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/7953515008/h78632432/)
-
Jaguar vs. Chicken | Jaguar USA (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3PQS8SFWNQw#ws)
-
Not getting it. :-\
-
Not getting it. :-\
It's a reaction on this commercial:
Mercedes-Benz TV: MAGIC BODY CONTROL TV commercial "Chicken" (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nLwML2PagbY#ws)
-
That's weird.
-
:laugh:
-
Went nutty half unable to breathe crazy laughing when I saw this. Hope it makes sense to you.
(http://prestigedetail.ca/wp-content/themes/shopperpress/thumbs/I_got_your_back-600x500.jpg)
-
Jaguar vs. Chicken | Jaguar USA (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3PQS8SFWNQw#ws)
:plus:
This one should annoy MB.
-
Went nutty half unable to breathe crazy laughing when I saw this. Hope it makes sense to you.
(http://prestigedetail.ca/wp-content/themes/shopperpress/thumbs/I_got_your_back-600x500.jpg)
Classic.
-
Towing Services in Russia are Impressive (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pxci_JCmUus#ws)
-
Q. How many kids with Aspergers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A. Tyrannosaurus lived in the Cretaceous Period.
-
lol
-
Q. How many kids with Aspergers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A. Tyrannosaurus lived in the Cretaceous Period.
:laugh:
-
Excerpted from the Manchester Guardian - Jokes scientists make.
■ Two theoretical physicists are lost at the top of a mountain. Theoretical physicist No 1 pulls out a map and peruses it for a while. Then he turns to theoretical physicist No 2 and says: "Hey, I've figured it out. I know where we are."
"Where are we then?"
"Do you see that mountain over there?"
"Yes."
"Well… THAT'S where we are."
■ An electron and a positron go into a bar.
Positron: "You're round."
Electron: "Are you sure?"
Positron: "I'm positive."
■ A group of wealthy investors wanted to be able to predict the outcome of a horse race. So they hired a group of biologists, a group of statisticians, and a group of physicists. Each group was given a year to research the issue. After one year, the groups all reported to the investors. The biologists said that they could genetically engineer an unbeatable racehorse, but it would take 200 years and $100bn. The statisticians reported next. They said that they could predict the outcome of any race, at a cost of $100m per race, and they would only be right 10% of the time. Finally, the physicists reported that they could also predict the outcome of any race, and that their process was cheap and simple. The investors listened eagerly to this proposal. The head physicist reported, "We have made several simplifying assumptions: first, let each horse be a perfect rolling sphere… "
■ What is a physicist's favourite food? Fission chips.
■ Why did Erwin Schrödinger, Paul Dirac and Wolfgang Pauli work in very small garages? Because they were quantum mechanics.
■ A friend who's in liquor production,
Has a still of astounding construction,
The alcohol boils,
Through old magnet coils,
He says that it's proof by induction.
■ A new monk shows up at a monastery where the monks spend their time making copies of ancient books. The new monk goes to the basement of the monastery saying he wants to make copies of the originals rather than of others' copies so as to avoid duplicating errors they might have made. Several hours later the monks, wondering where their new friend is, find him crying in the basement. They ask him what is wrong and he says "the word is CELEBRATE, not CELIBATE!"
■ A blowfly goes into a bar and asks: "Is that stool taken?"
■ They have just found the gene for shyness. They would have found it earlier, but it was hiding behind two other genes.
■ What does the 'B' in Benoit B Mandelbrot stand for? Benoit B Mandelbrot.
■ Why did the chicken cross the Möbius strip? To get to the other… eh? Hang on…
■ A statistician is someone who tells you, when you've got your head in the fridge and your feet in the oven, that you're – on average - very comfortable.
■ At a party for functions, ex is at the bar looking despondent. The barman says: "Why don't you go and integrate?" To which ex replies: "It would not make any difference."
■ There are 10 kinds of people in this world, those who understand binary, and those who don't.
■ The floods had subsided, and Noah had safely landed his ark on Mount Sinai. "Go forth and multiply!" he told the animals, and so off they went two by two, and within a few weeks Noah heard the chatter of tiny monkeys, the snarl of tiny tigers and the stomp of baby elephants. Then he heard something he didn't recognise… a loud, revving buzz coming from the woods. He went in to find out what strange animal's offspring was making this noise, and discovered a pair of snakes wielding a chainsaw. "What on earth are you doing?" he cried. "You're destroying the trees!" "Well Noah," the snakes replied, "we tried to multiply as you bade us, but we're adders… so we have to use logs."
■ A statistician gave birth to twins, but only had one of them baptised. She kept the other as a control.
■ A chemistry teacher is recruited as a radio operator in the first world war. He soon becomes familiar with the military habit of abbreviating everything. As his unit comes under sustained attack, he is asked to urgently inform his HQ. "NaCl over NaOH! NaCl over NaOH!" he says. "NaCl over NaOH?" shouts his officer. "What do you mean?" "The base is under a salt!" came the reply.
■ Sodium sodium sodium sodium sodium sodium sodium sodium Batman!
■ A weed scientist goes into a shop. He asks: "Hey, you got any of that inhibitor of 3-phosphoshikimate-carboxyvinyl transferase? Shopkeeper: "You mean Roundup?" Scientist: "Yeah, that's it. I can never remember that dang name."
■ A mosquito was heard to complain
That chemists had poisoned her brain.
The cause of her sorrow
Was para-dichloro-
diphenyl-trichloroethane.
■ A psychoanalyst shows a patient an inkblot, and asks him what he sees. The patient says: "A man and woman making love." The psychoanalyst shows him a second inkblot, and the patient says: "That's also a man and woman making love." The psychoanalyst says: "You are obsessed with sex." The patient says: "What do you mean I am obsessed? You are the one with all the dirty pictures.''
■ Psychiatrist to patient: "Don't worry. You're not deluded. You only think you are."
■ After sex, one behaviourist turned to another behaviourist and said, "That was great for you, but how was it for me?"
■ An interviewer approaches a variety of scientists, and asks them: "Is it true that all odd numbers are prime?" The mathematician rejects the conjecture. "One is prime, three is prime, five is prime, seven is prime, but nine is not. The conjecture is false." The physicist is less certain. "One is prime, three is prime, five is prime, seven is prime, but nine is not. Then again 11 is and so is 13. Up to the limits of measurement error, the conjecture appears to be true." The psychologist says: "One is prime, three is prime, five is prime, seven is prime, nine is not. Eleven is and so is 13. The result is statistically significant." The artist says: "One is prime, three is prime, five is prime, seven is prime, nine is prime. It's true, all odd numbers are prime!"
■ What do scientists say when they go to the bar? Climate change scientists say: "Where's the ice?" Seismologists might ask for their drinks to be "shaken and not stirred". Microbiologists request just a small one. Neuroscientists ask for their drinks "to be spiked". Scientists studying the defective gubernaculum say: "Put mine in a highball", and finally, social scientists say: "I'd like something soft." When paying at the bar, geneticists say: "I think I have some change in my jeans." And at the end of the evening a shy benzene biochemist might say to his companion: "Please give me a ring."
-
Durex Werbung Ballon Sex + Outtakes Blobbers (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O5kJa6oxnfA#)
Just reading old posts in this thread. Found this one from Lutra. :laugh:
-
Ayds Commercial (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WTitP5_yDUU#)
-
Remember ayds candy. The poor marketing person who came up with that name never saw it coming. :laugh:
-
My mail today came folded up like a taco shell bent right where it was stamped "DO NOT BEND" :laugh:
(http://i135.photobucket.com/albums/q131/parts67/DSCN2362_zpsa80ec6f3.jpg) (http://s135.photobucket.com/user/parts67/media/DSCN2362_zpsa80ec6f3.jpg.html)
-
:lol1:
-
(https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/7967430656/hFBFE9150/)
-
^That's sort of evil.
-
My mail today came folded up like a taco shell bent right where it was stamped "DO NOT BEND" :laugh:
(http://i135.photobucket.com/albums/q131/parts67/DSCN2362_zpsa80ec6f3.jpg) (http://s135.photobucket.com/user/parts67/media/DSCN2362_zpsa80ec6f3.jpg.html)
We had about fourteen inches of snow locally from Sunday noon to Monday afternoon.
They told us today that the mail was going to be delivered, then they said they said that it was really important that each recipient clear a path for the letter carriers so that they do not have to trudge through waste deep snow drifts and make it so that you can get your mail without trouble to the letter carrier.
Then they said that we should only do so if we are young and healthy, (they found an old woman, dead from shoveling snow) then said that NO ONE in the seventies should be out shoveling snow, then they said (after finding an old dead man in his sixties, dead from shoveling snow) that no one in their sixties should be out shoveling snow, then they (still taking a chance) said no one should be out shoveling snow unless they are young and able but all should keep the paths to your mail boxes clear, if possible.
:zombiefuck:
I claim "Old and Decrepit!"
There will be NO snow shoveling here! Sorry about your life Mister/MS letter carrier! (See, honestly, I can not even tell you the gender of my letter carrier, let lone whether he or she is HAWT or nawt ??? ) [added after a thought or two]
GO back home!!
Who the fuck do you think you are impressing? Wind chill is fifty below zero, Fahrenheit. Danger of frost bite occurs in thirty seconds to bare skin. I heard on the news today that it is actually warmer in Antarctica (OK - It is summer there, winter here - but FUCK! It's Antarctica, FFS!) than in Indiana.
Do you really think anyone is going to check their snail mail today or tomorrow or the day after? What does fourteen inches of snow mean to YOU, besides really wet boots??
Go Home!! No one cares about receiving junk advertisements on time!!
-
^That's sort of evil.
:indeed: :evillaugh:
It's funny for a real-life troll.
My mail today came folded up like a taco shell bent right where it was stamped "DO NOT BEND" :laugh:
(http://i135.photobucket.com/albums/q131/parts67/DSCN2362_zpsa80ec6f3.jpg) (http://s135.photobucket.com/user/parts67/media/DSCN2362_zpsa80ec6f3.jpg.html)
We had about fourteen inches of snow locally from Sunday noon to Monday afternoon.
They told us today that the mail was going to be delivered, then they said they said that it was really important that each recipient clear a path for the letter carriers so that they do not have to trudge through waste deep snow drifts and make it so that you can get your mail without trouble to the letter carrier.
Then they said that we should only do so if we are young and healthy, (they found an old woman, dead from shoveling snow) then said that NO ONE in the seventies should be out shoveling snow, then they said (after finding an old dead man in his sixties, dead from shoveling snow) that no one in their sixties should be out shoveling snow, then they (still taking a chance) said no one should be out shoveling snow unless they are young and able but all should keep the paths to your mail boxes clear, if possible.
:zombiefuck:
I claim "Old and Decrepit!"
There will be NO snow shoveling here! Sorry about your life Mister/MS letter carrier! (See, honestly, I can not even tell you the gender of my letter carrier, let lone whether he or she is HAWT or nawt ??? ) [added after a thought or two]
GO back home!!
Who the fuck do you think you are impressing? Wind chill is fifty below zero, Fahrenheit. Danger of frost bite occurs in thirty seconds to bare skin. I heard on the news today that it is actually warmer in Antarctica (OK - It is summer there, winter here - but FUCK! It's Antarctica, FFS!) than in Indiana.
Do you really think anyone is going to check their snail mail today or tomorrow or the day after? What does fourteen inches of snow mean to YOU, besides really wet boots??
Go Home!! No one cares about receiving junk advertisements on time!!
Being colder in Indiana than Antarctica is :viking:.
-
^That's sort of evil.
:indeed: :evillaugh:
It's funny for a real-life troll.
My mail today came folded up like a taco shell bent right where it was stamped "DO NOT BEND" :laugh:
(http://i135.photobucket.com/albums/q131/parts67/DSCN2362_zpsa80ec6f3.jpg) (http://s135.photobucket.com/user/parts67/media/DSCN2362_zpsa80ec6f3.jpg.html)
We had about fourteen inches of snow locally from Sunday noon to Monday afternoon.
They told us today that the mail was going to be delivered, then they said they said that it was really important that each recipient clear a path for the letter carriers so that they do not have to trudge through waste deep snow drifts and make it so that you can get your mail without trouble to the letter carrier.
Then they said that we should only do so if we are young and healthy, (they found an old woman, dead from shoveling snow) then said that NO ONE in the seventies should be out shoveling snow, then they said (after finding an old dead man in his sixties, dead from shoveling snow) that no one in their sixties should be out shoveling snow, then they (still taking a chance) said no one should be out shoveling snow unless they are young and able but all should keep the paths to your mail boxes clear, if possible.
:zombiefuck:
I claim "Old and Decrepit!"
There will be NO snow shoveling here! Sorry about your life Mister/MS letter carrier! (See, honestly, I can not even tell you the gender of my letter carrier, let lone whether he or she is HAWT or nawt ??? ) [added after a thought or two]
GO back home!!
Who the fuck do you think you are impressing? Wind chill is fifty below zero, Fahrenheit. Danger of frost bite occurs in thirty seconds to bare skin. I heard on the news today that it is actually warmer in Antarctica (OK - It is summer there, winter here - but FUCK! It's Antarctica, FFS!) than in Indiana.
Do you really think anyone is going to check their snail mail today or tomorrow or the day after? What does fourteen inches of snow mean to YOU, besides really wet boots??
Go Home!! No one cares about receiving junk advertisements on time!!
Being colder in Indiana than Antarctica is :viking:.
Yeah, we are more fucked in this household that I mentioned.
On the coldest day in twenty years, we had to buy a new furnace.
This is hardly laughable; I plan to post this SHIT in one of the more bitchy threads, eventually.
-
Naw, it IS laughable. Go ahead. I am trying to laugh, so you should too.
I was ready to use that four thousand dollars for a new car this year. Whatever!
-
(http://i.imgur.com/ypgbokF.jpg)
:laugh:
-
(http://www.nobodygoeshere.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/09/ak47.jpg)
-
:laugh:
-
It's like they know my dog Max :2thumbsup:
(http://i135.photobucket.com/albums/q131/parts67/MAX_zps9377a080.jpg) (http://s135.photobucket.com/user/parts67/media/MAX_zps9377a080.jpg.html)
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(http://i297.photobucket.com/albums/mm223/skyblue1110/ducky_zps6629e0df.jpg)
-
(http://i297.photobucket.com/albums/mm223/skyblue1110/monkeyshine_zps8f8bb67c.jpg)
-
(http://i297.photobucket.com/albums/mm223/skyblue1110/race.jpg)
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(http://leenks.com/pics/random7/milho.jpg)
-
Q. How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A. Just two, but I'd like to know how they got in there.
-
(http://www.tofugu.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/11/reverse-weeaboo.jpg)
-
(http://www.tofugu.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/11/reverse-weeaboo.jpg)
:dunno:
-
:LOL: You have to understand anime culture.
-
:LOL: You have to understand anime culture.
I'm still struggling with Dr. Who.
-
(http://static.fjcdn.com/pictures/How_90941c_2431348.jpg)
-
:LOL: You have to understand anime culture.
Getting parts of it.
My son spends more than half his free time drawing and creating anime stills and sets of frames to create a story with Japanese subtitles or bubble captions. He also draws out "perspective exaggerated" paper "things" which (look like NOTHING) which he colors and cuts out and folds into a primitive style of origami character.
I can not know how he can see in the dimensions he does, but he draws out this weird looking crazy shit, colors it with pen and crayon, then cuts it out and folds it in 3D to stand on its own, look human and portray a very feeling character. Other times he just starts with the scissors and you have no clue as to what he is doing.
He still has trouble making eyes look right (all his character's eyes mostly face away from the viewer- to his comfort, I see - always have, even in his dinosaur drawings which were far less sophisticated than these 3D folded pieces). But to see him just start cutting something out, from a blank piece of paper, then draw in details and color and shade it while it is flat, THEN fold it to make something that stands on its own, etc, all anime looking.
I am astounded with his vision and concept of perspective. He has graduated from "dinosaurs and all things scaly."
He now draws girls, mostly.
He also has developed an amazing Japanese vocabulary just from being online trying to explore the anime culture, mostly on his own.
I probably need to get more of all.
-
SHIT!
Just realized where this last post ended up.
This shit is NOT funny. It is amazing!
*exhibits a bit of Proud Daddy syndrome*
-
Which anime series does he like?
:LOL: There is no shortage of girls.
-
Which anime series does he like?
:LOL: There is no shortage of girls.
"Slice Of Life" but I really think that is more of a genre style than an actual series. He watches Crackle (free on his tablet) quite a lot. It is loaded with Anime serials.
He takes ideas from the "good things" that happen to the characters and draws them out six or ten at a time, to be later cut into wild looking things that he folds into his own version of 3D origami pieces or simply just starts cutting out some totally random-looking shape, drawing in details and folding to stand on its own later. He likes to make scenes of multiple characters, all laughing, partying and having fun - enjoying life.
If you could see what he draws, to be later cut out and folded, you would be amazed. "How can this crazy thing you are drawing turn into a human?" The other side is just as amazing. He just cuts a blank sheet into some random shape going at lightspeed, almost then starts filling in details and it just comes to life. He has a kind of deep vision into perspective and dimension that I have never seen. And I have lived my whole life around artists. His art is different.
I hate the fact that I posted in this thread accidentally and NOW have totally hi-jacked the thing for my own use.
GO BACK to LAUGHS, everyone!!
-
Schümos Coffee Commercial (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4BMUC4Yb4z4#ws)
-
:LMAO: Now if they could show it in America.
-
Schümos Coffee Commercial (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4BMUC4Yb4z4#ws)
That's unfortunate. :tard:
-
Which anime series does he like?
:LOL: There is no shortage of girls.
"Slice Of Life" but I really think that is more of a genre style than an actual series. He watches Crackle (free on his tablet) quite a lot. It is loaded with Anime serials.
He takes ideas from the "good things" that happen to the characters and draws them out six or ten at a time, to be later cut into wild looking things that he folds into his own version of 3D origami pieces or simply just starts cutting out some totally random-looking shape, drawing in details and folding to stand on its own later. He likes to make scenes of multiple characters, all laughing, partying and having fun - enjoying life.
If you could see what he draws, to be later cut out and folded, you would be amazed. "How can this crazy thing you are drawing turn into a human?" The other side is just as amazing. He just cuts a blank sheet into some random shape going at lightspeed, almost then starts filling in details and it just comes to life. He has a kind of deep vision into perspective and dimension that I have never seen. And I have lived my whole life around artists. His art is different.
I hate the fact that I posted in this thread accidentally and NOW have totally hi-jacked the thing for my own use.
GO BACK to LAUGHS, everyone!!
Pyraxis, i wish you could see thee entire process. It is amazing.
Just now he is doing laundry to earn allowances against the horror of the world and goes immeiately back to his worlk.
I am an evil father
I make themmd do chores; I am evil..
-
not goinng to post anymore, because I have reached a annother no feeel day.,3
not going to try to 00post todayy
FUckkking fuckking fuccccking sucks succkkuckis
It feeels lllidke a fuckkkint y prisonn
-
:LMAO: Now if they could show it in America.
i Am missing the point
Dew you just dis Amerrica? Is that it
-
:LMAO: Now if they could show it in America.
i Am missing the point
Dew you just dis Amerrica? Is that it
No, I'm no dissing America. I would prefer to be my own censor. For example, I would have liked to see the scene in I, Claudius where Caligula kills his wife. The PBS screening cut the scene when the door closed. The BBC version was more graphic.
-
az
sORRY,
-
I QUEEP SAYINGT THAT i
am NOT POSTING BUT I ;LOVE UYOU DgUYS
not qweer, i love you dguyas.
-
I QUEEP SAYINGT THAT i
am NOT POSTING BUT I ;LOVE UYOU DgUYS
not qweer, i love you dguyas.
Is this a new posting style for you? It doesn't look as :hyke: as you might think.
-
I QUEEP SAYINGT THAT i
am NOT POSTING BUT I ;LOVE UYOU DgUYS
not qweer, i love you dguyas.
I blurbablurb you too, man. :eyelash:
-
I QUEEP SAYINGT THAT i
am NOT POSTING BUT I ;LOVE UYOU DgUYS
not qweer, i love you dguyas.
I blurbablurb you too, man. :eyelash:
(https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcRIT6NSPej-iXSKjr5v5t2e8CApGfcx3Nfh_Yt3oCFUEI-y0QIk)
-
Schümos Coffee Commercial (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4BMUC4Yb4z4#ws)
:rofl:
-
[RAW] Turkish Special Forces Fail To Smash Their Way Into House, Special Forces Fail To Smash Door (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e8AJOfMmU8c#ws) :green:²
-
Welcome back.
-
Well, maybe.. dear Jack..
I don't know..
Tend to point my nose towards humorous stuff and.. ('whenst' lacking/I leave/tend to/why stay)
-
Well, maybe.. dear Jack..
I don't know..
Tend to point my nose towards humorous stuff and.. ('whenst' lacking/I leave/tend to/why stay)
I see. Jack will try to be more humorous. :laugh:
-
Well, maybe.. dear Jack..
I don't know..
Tend to point my nose towards humorous stuff and.. ('whenst' lacking/I leave/tend to/why stay)
I see. Jack will try to be more humorous. :laugh:
Good luck. :P
-
I want me a front door like that.
Any moment, surely, they could have gone in through the conveniently placed windows?
-
I want me a front door like that.
Any moment, surely, they could have gone in through the conveniently placed windows?
Yeah, most of them look too fat to fit through the window, but they could have just broke the glass, and reached in to unlock the door for the fat guys. :lol1:
-
Well, maybe.. dear Jack..
I don't know..
Tend to point my nose towards humorous stuff and.. ('whenst' lacking/I leave/tend to/why stay)
I see. Jack will try to be more humorous. :laugh:
Good luck. :P
I know, right?
-
[RAW] Turkish Special Forces Fail To Smash Their Way Into House, Special Forces Fail To Smash Door (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e8AJOfMmU8c#ws) :green:²
Hey, Lutra. Do you remember that video you posted a couple years ago about the ceramic sunflower seeds? I've thought about those seeds a few times since seeing that. I recently bought some of those seeds and they arrived today. They're fantastic. I wanted to thank you because I never would have known about them if you hadn't showed them to me. :thumbup:
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^ Youz welcome. Do remember the video but I've forgotten about the intent as of why I've posted it back then, now. Might be to do with the scale of it.
-
^ Youz welcome. Do remember the video but I've forgotten about the intent as of why I've posted it back then, now. Might be to do with the scale of it.
At the time I saw that video, I was inspired to read a couple news articles about it. I read the artist's dream was crushed, when his installation was shut down within the first couple of days. The high level of ceramic dust generated by people interacting with his art was deemed to be a health hazard. I thought it was a really beautiful story, and equally sad in its conclusion. They're just tiny bits of ceramic, but they carry so much meaning with them. It's the best gift I ever gave me. Thanks again, Lutra. :)
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I QUEEP SAYINGT THAT i
am NOT POSTING BUT I ;LOVE UYOU DgUYS
not qweer, i love you dguyas.
Is this a new posting style for you? It doesn't look as :hyke: as you might think.
I am feeling much better, thank you.
It has actually been quite a while since I did not see one of these days coming, before it got to me.
It can happen in less than an hour.
My only recourse is to stop posting.
Yeah, the ridicule of me having posted in this thread amazingly personal life things then posting about as wrong as it gets for me ...
Hope it was good for you, asshole!
-
I QUEEP SAYINGT THAT i
am NOT POSTING BUT I ;LOVE UYOU DgUYS
not qweer, i love you dguyas.
I blurbablurb you too, man. :eyelash:
You do not understand what happens ... sometimes.
-
I QUEEP SAYINGT THAT i
am NOT POSTING BUT I ;LOVE UYOU DgUYS
not qweer, i love you dguyas.
I blurbablurb you too, man. :eyelash:
You do not understand what happens ... sometimes.
Sorry if I was poking fun at something serious or something. I still love you, man. :hug:
-
(http://24.media.tumblr.com/80d743fab2326f02f64e4736a07feb6d/tumblr_myuzc00oOc1rlpicfo1_500.jpg)
(http://www.taalvoutjes.nl/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/aspergers.jpg)
Jesus, inventor of the nipple, Christ.. I'm only worth about €750 (market value). Fuck.
(http://d24w6bsrhbeh9d.cloudfront.net/photo/aEw69yK_700b_v1.jpg)
(http://scontent-b-ams.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash3/t1/1521765_10151840743270658_1791530106_n.jpg)
(http://scontent-b-ams.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash4/1381254_10151932549872904_1685722230_n.jpg)
-
:lol1:
Heb je die foto bij de groenteboer zelf genomen?
-
^ Neen, de foto komt van een site genaamd 'spelvoutjes' (.nl) maar ik zag 'm onlangs op Autsider staan. Best een beetje een domme spelfout.. al is het enkel een 'r' teveel.
Ooh, 't is wel een foutje die ik ook wel eens maak. Al sprekende dan. Iets in de trant van; 'oeh lekker, ik ga denk ik vanavond aspergers eten.'
'met spekjes of.. ' (Gremdaat, daar) :green:
-
Aaahh, dominee Gremdaat.
Lang geleden dat ik die gezien heb.
-
Ja, same here.. maar Paul Haenen's programma vond ik altijd hilarisch. Z'n altaar-ego/typetje Margreet Dolman vond ik ook altijd erg grappig. Die enorme 'mood-swing' (binnen een spanne van een paar seconden) die 'zij' speelde was briljant.
-
(http://scontent-b-ams.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ash3/t1/1521765_10151840743270658_1791530106_n.jpg)
:plus: (sorry I can't really plus you)
-
But I can. :plus:
-
(http://www.atheistmemebase.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/112-As-Jesus-rises-to-the-skies.jpg)
-
For flappy bird addicts.
http://deidealewereld.vier.be/vladibird/ (http://deidealewereld.vier.be/vladibird/)
-
And for those bored with Flappy bird
http://deidealewereld.vier.be/boringbird/ (http://deidealewereld.vier.be/boringbird/)
-
I saw this while at the store today and missed the word thermal when I read it
(http://i135.photobucket.com/albums/q131/parts67/Photo127_zpse0e60909.jpg) (http://s135.photobucket.com/user/parts67/media/Photo127_zpse0e60909.jpg.html)
-
To be posted VERY LOW on the refrigerator door - nose height.
Dear Dogs and Cats,
The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.
The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run.
I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.
For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years --canine or feline attendance is not required.
The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough!
To pacify you, my dear pets, I have posted the following message on our front door:
To All Non-Pet Owners Who Visit & Like to Complain About Our Pets:
1. They live here. You don't.
2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. (That's why they call it "fur-niture.")
3. I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.
4. To you, it's an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly.
Remember: Dogs and cats are better than kids because they:
1. Eat less
2. Don't ask for money all the time
3 Are easier to train
4. Normally come when called
5. Never ask to drive the car
6. Don't hang out with drug-using friends
7. Don't smoke or drink
8. Don't have to buy the latest fashions
9. Don't want to wear your clothes
10. Don't need a gazillion dollars for college, and...
11. If they get pregnant, you can sell their children
-
Answers in tests.. (by youngsters)
(http://zeqps2k4t563atbs730zvzq12aw.wpengine.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/test-answers-that-are-totally-wrong-but-still-genius-20.jpg)
^ Makes me think of the time, 30 years ago/about, I'd say, I answered a question, in some test, where we were asked to point out the difference between one thing and the other and I, not knowing the answer, wrote down that, for one, the two are spelled completely different. Teach wasn't amused butz..
(http://zeqps2k4t563atbs730zvzq12aw.wpengine.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/test-answers-that-are-totally-wrong-but-still-genius-24.jpg)
(http://zeqps2k4t563atbs730zvzq12aw.wpengine.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/test-answers-that-are-totally-wrong-but-still-genius-15.jpg)
Well, look for yourself. I tend to like this sort of thing and think some are really funny..
http://distractify.com/fun/fails/test-answers-that-are-totally-wrong-but-still-genius/ (http://distractify.com/fun/fails/test-answers-that-are-totally-wrong-but-still-genius/)
-
:plus: Awesome.
-
Headline in today's paper:
Marrero man shot in buttocks arrested after doctor finds cocaine in his clenched cheeks, authorities said
Yep, those cheeks! :LMAO:
-
(http://millionairecarclub.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/06/Girls-that-flash.jpg)
-
(http://millionairecarclub.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/06/Girls-that-flash.jpg)
Well, that valet won't be getting a tip.
-
I would like to know how they did that.
-
I would like to know how they did that.
Became airborne outside the garage and slammed into the car?
-
I would like to know how they did that.
Became airborne outside the garage and slammed into the car?
HOW did they become airborne?
-
I would like to know how they did that.
Became airborne outside the garage and slammed into the car?
HOW did they become airborne?
It was the works of the incredible Hulk. :M
-
That I would have liked to see. :P
-
(https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/8110504192/hD85F7310/)
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You'll either laugh or enjoy it.
Yulemas Dance (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1_oCFxMHKxw#ws)
About 1 minute in is where it gets interesting.
-
You'll either laugh or enjoy it.
Yulemas Dance (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1_oCFxMHKxw#ws)
About 1 minute in is where it gets interesting.
I honestly don't get it. :dunno:
-
You'll either laugh or enjoy it.
Yulemas Dance (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1_oCFxMHKxw#ws)
About 1 minute in is where it gets interesting.
I honestly don't get it. :dunno:
Rabbit is doing a strip tease (obvious?) What I find enjoyable are his/her hips. What I laugh at is his/her hips. Rabbit is transgender MTF and often lets the feminine side shine. She's now come out as a female robot in the troupe.
The tall dude is his/her twin brother (identical - they claim, so I guess it's true) and plays the straight (no pun intended) in the troupe.
-
You'll either laugh or enjoy it.
Yulemas Dance (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1_oCFxMHKxw#ws)
About 1 minute in is where it gets interesting.
I honestly don't get it. :dunno:
Rabbit is doing a strip tease (obvious?) What I find enjoyable are his/her hips. What I laugh at is his/her hips. Rabbit is transgender MTF and often lets the feminine side shine. She's now come out as a female robot in the troupe.
The tall dude is his/her twin brother (identical - they claim, so I guess it's true) and plays the straight (no pun intended) in the troupe.
I think that the issue may be that I don't ?watch? ?listen to? "Yulemas" in the first place?
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(http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Uo7D8b5VgnM/UU756FnR60I/AAAAAAAAEcs/1FnzP6D1VxE/s1600/VDOIN0.D.png)
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WTF is an ear candle?
-
WTF is an ear candle?
I'm guessing that it's a candle made out of earwax. :sick:
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"One end of a cylinder or cone of waxed cloth is lit, and the other is placed into the subject's ear. The flame is cut back occasionally with scissors and extinguished between 5 and 10 centimeters (2-4 inches) from the subject.
The subject is lying on one side with the treated ear uppermost and the candle vertical. The candle can be stuck through a paper plate or aluminium pie tin to protect against any hot wax or ash falling onto the subject. Another way to perform ear candling involves the subject lying face up with the ear candle extending out to the side with a 45-degree upward slant. A dish of water is placed next to the subject under the ear candle.
Proponents claim that the flame creates negative pressure, drawing wax and debris out of the ear canal, which appears as a dark residue.
An ear candling session lasts up to one hour, during which one or two ear candles may be burned for each ear."
-
"One end of a cylinder or cone of waxed cloth is lit, and the other is placed into the subject's ear. The flame is cut back occasionally with scissors and extinguished between 5 and 10 centimeters (2-4 inches) from the subject.
The subject is lying on one side with the treated ear uppermost and the candle vertical. The candle can be stuck through a paper plate or aluminium pie tin to protect against any hot wax or ash falling onto the subject. Another way to perform ear candling involves the subject lying face up with the ear candle extending out to the side with a 45-degree upward slant. A dish of water is placed next to the subject under the ear candle.
Proponents claim that the flame creates negative pressure, drawing wax and debris out of the ear canal, which appears as a dark residue.
An ear candling session lasts up to one hour, during which one or two ear candles may be burned for each ear."
Dark residue called "ash" naturally forms from candles. :tard:
-
Why is chiropractic there? If it weren't for that, I wouldn't be able to stand straight.
-
I think there are a lot of quacks as well as the good ones.
-
Anyone care to watch a train wreck?
I've seen it about 25 or more times and I just keep on giggling. He's so bad, but having so much fun.
http://matthewsmithmusic.tumblr.com/post/42235386946/snakeriedel-check-this-dude-out-more-progress (http://matthewsmithmusic.tumblr.com/post/42235386946/snakeriedel-check-this-dude-out-more-progress)
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He's a Skank Agent. That's funny.
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Can someone tell me if he's holding up his "We're #1" finger or his FU finger in the middle of the video when he walks off. The PR would like to post it on a teen age, clean website and she can't do it if he's using his FU finger. I can't stop the video and it happens so quickly it could go either way.
-
Anyone care to watch a train wreck?
I've seen it about 25 or more times and I just keep on giggling. He's so bad, but having so much fun.
http://matthewsmithmusic.tumblr.com/post/42235386946/snakeriedel-check-this-dude-out-more-progress (http://matthewsmithmusic.tumblr.com/post/42235386946/snakeriedel-check-this-dude-out-more-progress)
If I wanted to watch a train wreck, I'd pay attention to StupidOldMan's banning thread. :zoinks: :trainwreck:
That's not the Doctor. :orly:
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Can someone tell me if he's holding up his "We're #1" finger or his FU finger in the middle of the video when he walks off. The PR would like to post it on a teen age, clean website and she can't do it if he's using his FU finger. I can't stop the video and it happens so quickly it could go either way.
The video wouldn't load for me. Skank agent sounds professional so they probably use the #1 finger.
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(https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/8120809984/h155B551B/)
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(https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/8120589056/hE826D8CA/)
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That long Facebook post - longest I have seen.
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(https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/8123186432/hE8A8816E/)
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(https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/8113013248/hC5A75CD3/)
-
Anyone care to watch a train wreck?
I've seen it about 25 or more times and I just keep on giggling. He's so bad, but having so much fun.
http://matthewsmithmusic.tumblr.com/post/42235386946/snakeriedel-check-this-dude-out-more-progress (http://matthewsmithmusic.tumblr.com/post/42235386946/snakeriedel-check-this-dude-out-more-progress)
My apologies to all. Evidently the video can only be seen by someone who follows Matt Smith on Tumblr.
There is hope for me to become computer savvy yet. I figured this out on my own.
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(http://i.imgur.com/SErx4.jpg)
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(https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/8147965952/h1D0B45F2/)
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A fan uses a tub of popcorn to make a catch (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZJMb_6hJSd0#ws)
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=wNX9WOuWDSc (https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=wNX9WOuWDSc)
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(http://i.imgur.com/3LrX3.jpg)
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Be vewy vewy quiet.
-
Justin Bieber dated a fan. He lost his penis in the blades.
-
Be vewy vewy quiet.
:indeed: :P
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(Fuck you in the ass commercial) Soesman language training commercial from the 90s (Dutch) (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D3uJHTisUdE#)
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(Fuck you in the ass commercial) Soesman language training commercial from the 90s (Dutch) (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D3uJHTisUdE#)
Is that why Hyke knows English? :toporly:
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Funny Screaming Lamb (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2bzR0r_-vAY#)
-
(http://streetcarnage.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/05/10369537_256595321194585_922700016_n.jpg)
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Every time I watch this I can't stop laughing. WTF...I think it's the faces he makes.
(http://t.co/69uOfv4ZTn)
-
WTF is happening in that picture?
-
WTF is happening in that picture?
it's a GIF of someone eating cotton candy, but it's run backwards.
-
(https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/8228002304/h92A754D1/)
-
:laugh:
-
:LOL:
-
:green:
-
;)
-
(http://i129.photobucket.com/albums/p209/renaeden/21351_695856097110513_76068276_n_zps2d2c92af.jpg)
-
:laugh:
-
(http://cdn.eatliver.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/high-five.jpg)
(http://cdn.eatliver.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/gravity.jpg)
(http://cdn.eatliver.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/makeup19.jpg)
(http://cdn.eatliver.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/irony.jpg)
(http://cdn.eatliver.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/elevator-lols.png)
(http://cdn.eatliver.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/my-ex-girlfriend.jpg)
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lutra, thanks.
-
I question the gravity in those kitty cat pictures. The water is exactly the same in both. I can't stop looking at it. :tard:
-
I noticed that too, Gary.
-
Did I post this yet??
-
(http://33.media.tumblr.com/9747b746902f71643f2b9126923ea0d3/tumblr_naj5cxLYB11tficwmo7_1280.jpg)
-
(http://cdn77.eatliver.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/food.jpg)
(http://cdn77.eatliver.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/huge-puppy1.jpg)
(http://cdn77.eatliver.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/smart-car-fart.jpg)
(http://cdn77.eatliver.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/08/pugception.jpg)
(http://cdn77.eatliver.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/03/cross-eyed.jpg)
(http://cdn77.eatliver.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/explosion.jpg)
(http://cdn77.eatliver.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/eel1.jpg)
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(http://cdn77.eatliver.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/eel1.jpg)
:laugh:
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(https://image-store.slidesharecdn.com/27143ffe-29bd-11e4-87b6-12313d1c3a13-original.jpeg)
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(http://cdn77.eatliver.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/stereotypes.jpg)
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(http://cdn77.eatliver.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/funny-birthday-card1.jpg)
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(http://www.rantlifestyle.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/Dating-4.jpg)
I'm going to get those damn dust bunnies one way or another.
Or
Icequeen's ideal husband.
-
Gopher Gary's long lost brother.
(http://www.rantlifestyle.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/Dating-5.jpg)
-
I think I caught Africa winking at me
(https://scontent-a-dfw.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xpf1/v/t1.0-9/10464402_933944566616522_3564779100838756692_n.jpg?oh=3397bad6624e4e98aa64f641c09666e3&oe=54E204AD)
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While working the election yesterday, the man PA had the scuffle with showed up to vote. (He doesn't know me except as a Poll Commissioner.) While he was waiting in line I heard him talking that TWO seventy year old men had jumped him in McDonald's. I didn't know PA was such a super fighter that he fought like 2 men.
-
:LOL:
-
While working the election yesterday, the man PA had the scuffle with showed up to vote. (He doesn't know me except as a Poll Commissioner.) While he was waiting in line I heard him talking that TWO seventy year old men had jumped him in McDonald's. I didn't know PA was such a super fighter that he fought like 2 men.
Her Majesty deserves a man with the power of two.
-
While working the election yesterday, the man PA had the scuffle with showed up to vote. (He doesn't know me except as a Poll Commissioner.) While he was waiting in line I heard him talking that TWO seventy year old men had jumped him in McDonald's. I didn't know PA was such a super fighter that he fought like 2 men.
Her Majesty deserves a man with the power of two.
PA2.
-
While working the election yesterday, the man PA had the scuffle with showed up to vote. (He doesn't know me except as a Poll Commissioner.) While he was waiting in line I heard him talking that TWO seventy year old men had jumped him in McDonald's. I didn't know PA was such a super fighter that he fought like 2 men.
Her Majesty deserves a man with the power of two.
PA2.
:thumbup:
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(http://i1212.photobucket.com/albums/cc445/hetiswat/20130409-11345318-donotdisturb_zps6a7dcfb5.jpg) (http://s1212.photobucket.com/user/hetiswat/media/20130409-11345318-donotdisturb_zps6a7dcfb5.jpg.html)
Would not mind that FAQ on a shirt.
-
Never mind the FAQ, I want that tablet he's working on.
-
His tablet is boring. :M
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Good, then I won't have any competition for yoinking it.
-
Good, then I won't have any competition for yoinking it.
"yoinking" :lol1: :plus:
-
His tablet is boring. :M
The keyboard is in an ergonomically incorrect position. :M
-
But the Wacom pen, the primary means of interfacing with the computer, is not. :orly:
-
Good point. :M Extra point for using the phrase, interfacing with the computer.
-
It was pretty funny being the unintentional cause, of someone at the department of education in Washing DC crying on the phone because my story was 'so inspirational' and 'not many with disablements have the gumption you have hold please' while she proceeded to blow her nose and boo-hew oh my gosh I laughed while the 'hold please; your call is very important to us' and saxophone elevator music was going...as the she proceeded to 'get it together' enough for me to get the information I needed and business done I needed done...
Would have loved to have been a fly on that government building wall :lol1:
-
That is awesome. :LOL:
-
lines up well
-
(http://i129.photobucket.com/albums/p209/renaeden/Mobile%20Uploads/IMG_742257561865510_zpswpup1kt8.jpg?1417169087524&1417169089004)
(http://i129.photobucket.com/albums/p209/renaeden/Mobile%20Uploads/IMG_5488770294725058_zpsfpled03s.jpeg?1417169087525&1417169089005)
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(https://i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/8382410240/h34A515A7/)
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Hashtags: #MyFamilyIsWeird (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qwI_Q0th3vA#ws)
-
There are two parts to participating in online classes. One is the discussion board (25% of the grade) and the other is assignments (75% of the grade).
In the third week of classes one of my students messaged me. She's confused about why she's doing so badly in the class. She says she's been doing what she could but I'm not giving her any credit for her efforts and that I don't tell her what she did right or wrong. She wanted to know if there was anything she could do to bring her grade up besides increase her participation on the discussion board.
I wrote back to her and said that if she started doing the assignments, that would help.
-
:lol1:
-
Axial tilt is the reason for the season...
-
Axial tilt is the reason for the season...
:thumbup:
-
Axial tilt is the reason for the season...
:thumbup:
:2thumbsup:
True dat!
-
So I go to the pharmacy to pick up my medications...this is a compounding MOM and POP pharmacy mind you, old dude asked me if I had been taking the generic 'flow max' regularity because 'usually young ladies don't take this medication' which is true,
but it works for my bladder issues...
Dude at the bottom who checks out people (and checks out people, females) got red as a turnip...
I laughed my rear off and walked out...
the older dude laughed as well...teenagers/young adults (I remember I used to care) I probably should care...
but I don't...
I just am the bus-ta capps hannah :heisenberg:
-
Jesus and the apostles planing their marketing strategies :2thumbsup:
https://vimeo.com/118529138
-
(http://i4.photobucket.com/albums/y141/graelwyn/10959382_10153558087032004_3554071791585147225_n_zpsb4e2f606.jpg)
-
:laugh:
-
Exercise for the retired
Begin by standing on a comfortable surface, where you have plenty of room at each side.
With a 5-lb potato bag in each hand, extend your arms straight out from your sides and hold them there as long as you can. Try to reach a full minute, and then relax. Each day you'll find that you can hold this position for just a bit longer.
After a couple of weeks, move up to 10-lb potato bags.
Then try 50-lb potato bags and then eventually try to get to where you can lift a 100-lb potato bag in each hand and hold your arms straight for more than a full minute. ( I'm at this level. )
Once you feel confident at that level, put a potato in each bag.
-
I found this story years ago, and it still has me in fits. Enjoy.
The Fart That Altered My Destiny
Like everything in life, farts have a time and place. However, I never realized that in the wrong time and place, flatulence had enough power to alter my course in history. Well, it can if it’s the third date with the man of your dreams. And, if it makes his eyes burn. If God destined us to be together, I was one SBD away from foiling His plans (that’s “Silent But Deadly” for you prudes).
It was about five years ago. I was trying to lose a few pounds so I was staying away from carbs. That’s when I met my husband, Rob. On our first date, he booked the next two. He liked me. I liked him. Things were looking real good.
He picked me up in a Cobra, Mustang and his pathetic attempt to win me over with a car totally worked. I’m not shallow, but since I spent most of my twenties picking men up because I didn’t want my hair to frizz in their non-air conditioned jalopies on 3 wheels and a 15 year old spare, I welcomed his fancy sports car with open arms.
We arrived at the restaurant and Rob was ordering food I hadn’t allowed myself to eat in years. I didn’t want to be “that girl” so I ate, drank, and oh, was I merry. Later we shopped a bit. Rob surprised me by buying an expensive pair of shoes that he caught me eyeing. Was this love?
That’s when it happened. Gas strikes in two different ways - uncontrollable toots or sharp, shooting pains that feel a lot like dying. I thought I was dying. Not to make a scene, I told Rob I suddenly wasn’t feeling well and probably needed to head home.
On the way home in his Cobra, he tried to hold my hand and ask me lots of questions, but I wasn’t having any of it. The pain was so bad it felt like I was being stabbed with a bunch of tiny forks. Then I realized ...
My God, help me. I have a horrendous fart on deck. I’m in trouble. Big trouble.
The more I held it in, the more pain would shoot through my stomach and down my legs. I was even having to raise myself off the seat, gripping on to my door and the dashboard.
“Seriously, you need to hurry - I’m in a lot of pain.” I managed to say through gritted teeth.
“Wow, it’s that bad? What’s wrong? Do I need to take you to a hospital?”
How do you tell a man you just started dating that the reason you’re writhing in pain is because you have to fart?
Well, you can either tell him, or like me, let the fart speak for itself.
People, hear me. There was nothing I could do. As impressive as I am with sphincter control, this was out of my hands. Slowly, it eeked out. The more I tried to stop it, the more it forced its way through the door. However, to my pleasant surprise, there was no sound. I sat silently, sweat accumulating above my upper lip. Ok, maybe I got away with it. Maybe I’m home free. Then it hit me. Not an idea, a cloud. A horrific, fart cloud. Not in a, “Am I smelling something?” sort of way. More like a “Is someone dead and rotting in your trunk and am I in hell?” sort of way.
Suddenly, I panicked. “Roll down the windows!” I screamed (yes, I literally screamed it like I was in a horror movie).
“What? Why?” Rob asked, starting to freak out because I was freaking out.
“I can’t roll down the windows, unlock it! UNLOCK IT!”
“What’s going on?” Rob yells back to me, “Why are you ...” then it hit him. I could see it in his eyes. Was it surprise? Horror? Water started to accumulate at the base of his eyelids, “Oh my God, I CAN TASTE IT!” he screamed.
“Roll down the windows!” As I screamed, the toots started to flood out uncontrollably. I scratched and clawed at the window like I was being kidnapped. Rob, unable to see either by fart cloud or panic, kept turning on the windshield wipers instead of unlocking the window.
It was chaos. We were acting like we were under siege by gun fire. We were under siege alright, just not by gun fire.
Finally he was able to hit the right control and he rolled down our windows. We both gulped in fresh air. I was horrified, yet happy to be alive, then remembered I just farted on the man of dreams, then sorta wished I was dead.
We sat silently for the rest of the way home. Although the shooting pains had subsided, I now desperately needed to use the bathroom, in an urgent, explosive kind of way.
He pulled up to my apartment and before he could come to a stop I had already jumped out, “Ok, thanks for dinner, sorry about the fart, love the shoes!” and ran in to my apartment like I was running from the cops.
I burst through my door and ran straight for the bathroom, where I was finally able to unleash and make noises that no one should ever, EVER, hear coming from another person.
Then I heard it. Rob’s voice. Right. Outside. My. Bathroom. Door.
“Anna? You left your shoes in my car and your front door was open. Where do you want me to put them?”
“Get away from the door!” I screamed like Reagan from The Exorcist.
“Ok, I’m sorry. Are you okay?”
*toot* *toot* *splatter* *ungodly noise*
“I’m fine, Rob - just leave the shoes there. I’ll call you later okay?”
“Okay, are you sure you’re ...”
“I’m fine! Get away from the door!”
This man! I mean, I love him, but take a freakin’ hint!
Finally, I heard the front door shut, and the Cobra engine zoom away. I thought that was the last I’d hear from him. I didn’t think it was possible to ever see a man again after he screams he can taste your fart after only knowing you for 48 hours.
But, to my surprise, I did. A couple days later, actually. Now we’re married and he’s lying on the couch while I type this ... “It was your rack that saved you,” he just lovingly reminded me.
Well, thank you boobs. You saved us. You saved our destiny.
-
I would probably die of embarrassment if that happened to me. Toilet time is private, no audience needed.
-
(http://i.kinja-img.com/gawker-media/image/upload/s--hm0fLlsl--/c_fit,fl_progressive,q_80,w_636/1136248564889640484.jpg)
-
Originally written in 1995.
This page contains a number of important programming truths that every budding programmer should know about. These truths are self-evident, and need no explanations.
If it compiles, it works.
If it compiles, it's correct.
If it runs, it doesn't have any bugs.
If it doesn't have any immediately obvious bugs, it's perfect.
If a bug doesn't show, it doesn't exist.
If it seems to work, it works.
Doing something right is easy. Avoiding errors only takes a bit of concentration.
The shorter the source code, the faster the program.
It's obvious how to optimize a program.
Prorammers don't make mistakes.
Run-time errors don't occur.
Users don't make mistakes.
I don't make mistakes.
Errors of any kind are rare.
Error handling can be done in version 2.
It's OK to crash on bad input.
It's OK to give incorrect output on bad input.
Portability isn't useful.
All the world's a VAX. Or, these days, an MS-DOS box
The length of the feature list is important.
Speed is good, features are better.
Slowness can be fixed in hardware.
The bigger a program is, the better it is.
Random changes to a program fix bugs.
Testing takes only a short while.
Finding bugs is easy. Fixing bugs is trivial.
Bug-fixes don't need to be tested.
Trivial changes of any kind don't need to be tested.
The first approach, idea, or version is always the best.
A 1% crash rate is actually pretty darn good.
Code is self-evident. Comments aren't needed.
Comments are meant for people other than the original author of the code.
Undocumented features are fun and useful.
It can always be fixed in the next version.
Surprised users are happy users.
Demonstrating for clients is the best debugging method.
-
Anti-jokes:
In case you don't know, the basic idea of an anti-joke is that there is no joke.
What is black and white and red all over?
A pile of dead, mixed race babies.
How did the blonde die?
She got swallowed whole by a 1,000 foot scorpion.
What's the difference between a dead black person and a watermelon?
I don't have 50 watermelons buried in my backyard.
What's worse than 50 dead babies stapled to trees?
51 dead babies stapled to trees.
What's the difference between a Porsche and 1,000 dead babies?
When I see a Porsche on the street, I look at it and acknowledge that the person driving it is successful. When I see 1,000 dead babies on the street, I am horrified, retch, call the proper authorities to come remove the babies, try to stay away from the pile to avoid infection, and consider the horrible injustice of what just happened.
One day, Mister Bear was hungry. He went out to try and eat some berries, but they were prickly. "These berries are too ouchy," thought Mr. Bear. He then tried to get some honey, but the bees from the hive he was trying to eat from stung him. "This won't do either," thought Mr. Bear. Finally, he saw a cabin with an open door. "Maybe there's some food there," he thought; so he went in. What transpired next has been dubbed "The Alvarez Incident" in which an eight-foot grizzly bear attacked Mary Alvarez and her children. Mary screamed in horror as the bear bellowed with all his might and slashed her four-month old to death. Andrew, Mary's other son, screamed in terror as he watched his sister Emily get her face slashed up. Detectives on the scene retched in horror at the sight.
What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?
Being raped by a Triceratops.
What would Michael Jackson do on the Moon?
Suffocate and die.
What did the Catholic Priest do to the little boy?
He ate him. The Priest was actually Jefferey Dahmer.
How did Poor Miss Suzie get her little baby to stop crying?
She cut off its head, burned its body, and sacrificed its ashes to Satan in a bizarre Satanic ritual in which she had sex with a heifer. (Suzie was a Satanic Priestess.)
How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub?
16 (Trust me, you can't squeeze the 17th in there.)
Roses are gray
violets are gray
I am colorblind
and suck at poetry.
Roses are red
Violets are red
Oh, shit, the garden is on fire!
-
They may not be jokes, but some of them are funny.
-
They may not be jokes, but some of them are funny.
Yep, but some are like:
"Cadet to base command, cadet to base command, OVER!" CADET: "We have found something. OVER!" COMMAND: "Come back, Cadet? Say again! You found something like what? OVER!"
Cadet: EXACTLY LIKE THAT OVER!! !! WHAT THE FUCK!!???!??!??!!! OVER!"
-
Me and Sugarbutt say what the fuck, over, too. :lol1:
-
They may not be jokes, but some of them are funny.
Yeah, that's the idea. The joke is there is no joke, but it's still funny.
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(http://images5.aplus.com/uc-up/bf0d66fa-4e0e-4b81-abf3-27be2c8e5c16/bf0d66fa-4e0e-4b81-abf3-27be2c8e5c16.jpg)
(http://fb-troublemakers.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/09/old_people_awesome_shirts_05.jpg)
(http://web-images.chacha.com/images/Gallery/7354/galleryimage-1229750695-oct-22-2014-1-600x460.jpg)
(http://ak-hdl.buzzfed.com/static/2014-12/4/4/enhanced/webdr02/enhanced-buzz-14463-1417685491-19.jpg)
(https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/a1/16/a4/a116a4f8edaa2bdc0316e526809a69ce.jpg)
(http://www.funnyscale.com/wp-content/uploads/2014/11/grandma-t-shirt-drink-up-bitches-beer.jpg)
(http://static.boredpanda.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2014/11/old-people-funny-t-shirts-18__605.jpg)
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boob joke and hungry baby
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(http://i.ebayimg.com/00/s/NDAwWDQwMA==/z/n~AAAMXQlUNRWzhO/$T2eC16dHJI!E9qSO9w3VBRWzhOzIFQ~~60_35.JPG)
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^Makes me glad I don't have vocal tics.
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More Anti-jokes:
What is black and white and red all over?
A pile of dead, mixed race babies.
Why did the blonde cross the road?
She was running from the man who was trying to rape her.
Knock knock
Who's there?
The police. I'm here to inform you that your entire family has been killed.
What did the purple dragon say to the unicorn?
First of all, neither dragons nor unicorns exist; so a dragon could not say anything to a unicorn. Second, in the fictitious stories in which dragons and unicorns exist, they do not talk, except in the most childish of cartoons. Thirdly, even if dragons and unicorns existed and talked, what would a purple even say to a unicorn? "Hello, I'm a purple dragon"? Give me a break.
What did the police officer say to the black man?
"Hello, I'm a police officer."
An Irishman walks into a bar and then realizes that he'd walked into the wrong establishment; so he left. (He was looking for an upscale restaurant.)
In other news, 100 posts. Yeah!
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rs4P1kKK-5k
Following a hate group around with a comically large musical instrument. :zoinks:
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:lol1:
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What's the difference between a truck full of ice cream and a truck full of 1,000 dead babies?
One is a truck full of a fun treat for kids. The other is a truck that is carrying away the product of a terrible accident.
Why didn't little billy cross the road?
Because he was dead.
What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon?
One is something that's fun to smash with a sledgehammer and the other is a watermelon.
Why didn't the chicken cross the road?
There was a pile of 1,000 dead babies blocking his way across the road.
How many babies does it take to fill a ditch?
six if you pack them in real tight!
Why was the boy sad?
There was a frog stapled to his face.
Why did the baby cross the road?
He was stapled to the chicken.
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How do you turn a broken skateboard into a Rolls Royce?
Magic.
What's the difference between a dead baby and a Snickers bar?
About 500 calories.
There once was a man from Nantucket. He got AIDS and died.
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I'm laughing on the inside :M
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I laughed at this:
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:lol1:
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https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=tB8D2QZ9lA4
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Why did the boy fall off the bicycle?
Someone threw a fridge at him.
How do you make a baby make a sound like a dog?
Douse him in gasoline and light him on fire. WOOF!
How many Jews does it take to change a light bulb?
Two, one to change it and one to hold the ladder steady while the other one is changing it.
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Ah, that reminds me. I need to change a light bulb, while there is still daylight. No idea where I left my torch.
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How do you get a baby to stop crying?
Drown it in vinegar
What is white and would kill you if it were dropped on you from a tree?
A refrigerator.
My mom always said it was fun to jump in a pile of leaves and play around. That was before she was swallowed whole by a 1,000 foot scorpion.
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^ I have heard a different version of that second one. What is green and brown and if it fell out of a tree would kill you? A snooker table.
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Ah, that reminds me. I need to change a light bulb, while there is still daylight. No idea where I left my torch.
Have you used many of those Totally Green (BS!) curly cue bulbs?
I have replaced most of ours with these so-called "forever" bulbs, BUT!!
Those bulbs make this horrible saw tooth wave noise between around four hundred hertz and six thousand hertz. I can no longer call them safe.
I had to remove them all and, thankfully since President Obama's attempt to remove from production all manner of incandescent bulbs failed, I was able to go back to the old style bulbs which do not make that fucking noise.
I do use those horrible bulbs outside, where the noise does not affect me.
... but never again inside unless they are tamed down to where that noise is gone.
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I have the follow up on those still in some spaces in my house. These do not give the horrible flickering. But, am replacing them with LED lights. And that light is really stable. The LED light in my frontroom I placed in 2007 or so, I think.
On the attic it is indeed still one of those variations of a TL light in a bulb. I only have to be there for little amount of time. Same is true for the shed. In my hallway, I have gone back to a traditional bulb. One without the milk-glass effect. They can be bought here again, because their light production is so much higher than the milk-glass versions.
Back to the attic light. It probably is a switch problem. When I went to replace the light, it worked. Yesterday morning I could not turn it on, but later in the day, again, it worked.
The switch did not feel different in any way though, so I think the problem is not in the mechanical bit that I trigger. Probably in a contact.
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Good call!
Unfortunately, being the newest thing here, those LED conglomerate bulb clusters are extremely expensive right now.
I plan on using LEDs as soon as they are reasonably priced.
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I got my first LED light for free. I'm far from rich, but slowly bulb by bulb replacing stuff is making life more pleasant.
For the shed and the attic I have enough left of the newest generation "green" bulbs that need to go with chemical waste, when broken. The housing company and council had an action, years ago, where households got a box filled with them.
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Faith, friends and Family. Those are three words.
I like my coffee the same way I like my women: without a penis.
You can pick your friends, you can pick your nose, but you can't rob a bank. That's a felony.
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I like my coffee the same way I like my women: without a penis.
I like my Scotch the same way I like my women: 12 years old and mixed up with coke!! >:D
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:police:
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15 Year Old Boy Comes Home With A Porsche. This Is Gold.
A fifteen-year-old came home with a Porsche and his parents began to yell and scream, "Where did you get that car?"
He calmly told them, "I bought it today."
"With what money!?" demanded his parents. "We know what a Porsche costs."
"Well," said the boy, "this one cost me fifteen dollars."
The parents began to yell even louder. "Who would sell a car like that for fifteen dollars!?" they asked.
"It was the lady up the street," said the boy. "Don't know her name -- they just moved in. She saw me ride past on my bike and asked me if I wanted to buy a Porsche for fifteen dollars."
"Oh my goodness!" moaned the mother, "she must be a child abuser. Who knows what she will do next? John, you go right up there and see what's going on."
So the boy's father walked up the street to the house where the lady lived and found her out in the yard calmly planting flowers. He introduced himself as the father of the boy to whom she has sold a Porsche for fifteen dollars and demanded to know why she did it.
"Well," she said, "this morning I got a phone call from my husband. I thought he was on a business trip, but I learned from a friend he has run off to Hawaii with his secretary and really doesn't intend to come back. He claimed he was stranded and asked me to sell his new Porsche and send him the money. So I did."
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15 Year Old Boy Comes Home With A Porsche. This Is Gold.
A fifteen-year-old came home with a Porsche and his parents began to yell and scream, "Where did you get that car?"
He calmly told them, "I bought it today."
"With what money!?" demanded his parents. "We know what a Porsche costs."
"Well," said the boy, "this one cost me fifteen dollars."
The parents began to yell even louder. "Who would sell a car like that for fifteen dollars!?" they asked.
"It was the lady up the street," said the boy. "Don't know her name -- they just moved in. She saw me ride past on my bike and asked me if I wanted to buy a Porsche for fifteen dollars."
"Oh my goodness!" moaned the mother, "she must be a child abuser. Who knows what she will do next? John, you go right up there and see what's going on."
So the boy's father walked up the street to the house where the lady lived and found her out in the yard calmly planting flowers. He introduced himself as the father of the boy to whom she has sold a Porsche for fifteen dollars and demanded to know why she did it.
"Well," she said, "this morning I got a phone call from my husband. I thought he was on a business trip, but I learned from a friend he has run off to Hawaii with his secretary and really doesn't intend to come back. He claimed he was stranded and asked me to sell his new Porsche and send him the money. So I did."
:LMAO:
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Just goes to prove that humour is eternal. I heard a variation in the 1950's. This one is better.
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Tips for holyweeners
1. Wait for unsaved children to come to your door and hurl a bucket full of warm lamb's blood (goat or dog blood can be substituted later in the night if you run out) all over their hair and faces. Shout - "I plead the power of the Blood of the Perfect Lamb over you! Take that! FOUL DEMON!"
2. Dress up as the freshly resurrected Christ. To make your costume as realistic as possible: (a) use your mother's sewing needles to poke holes in your hands and stomach; (b) wear bluish makeup to look like someone who has been dead and lying around in a cave for a couple of days; and (c) stuff five pounds of week-old hamburger meat in your pockets to smell like rotting flesh. Sneak up behind people, grab them, turn them around, look them in they eyes and scream, "Why have you forsaken me!" And then slap them very hard across the face with a palm-full of rancid hamburger meat. It will usually scare the living Hell out of little children, and they are sure to remember their first experience with Jesus for the rest of their pathetic lives.
3. Offer to exchange your giant treat bag with the small bag of an unsaved child - when he gets home, surprise! BIBLES!
4. Paint your face black, dress up in a flashy suit, and wander around a predominantly colored neighborhood - talking Ebonics into a cell phone about how the Lord Jesus saved you – in a voice loud enough to wake the sleeping winos! This doesn't have to be just for Halloween. You can try this anytime. When they ask what you are talking about, simply reply, "Yo, yo, yo wazzup? I be off da chain for Jesus! I be pimpin' for da playa JC on the fly with mad props." Then give them one of those arthritic hand signals the Bloods give their friends, the Crips. Most likely, they will persecute you for righteousness sake.
5. Vincent Price may have thought he was scary, but nothing touches the Lord when it comes to the gruesome and macabre! With baby dolls and ketchup, use your front lawn to stage a realistic reenactment of when the Lord got jealous of Samarians worshiping a rival god and ordered that their children be hacked to pieces and their pregnant women experience the Lord's abortion-by-sword calling card. (Hosea 13:16).
6. The only costume you should be wearing is "The Holy Ghost Halloween Costume." Jesus makes it quite clear in Matthew Chapter 12:31 that there is one unforgivable sin, and that is blasphemy of the Holy Ghost. So, remember not to say anything unflattering about yourself while in this costume – or you will instantly damn yourself.
7. Feed almonds to your Christian family dog for the two months leading up to Satan's birthday, Halloween. Follow him around with a pooper scooper. Carefully place the dog-filth in Almond Joy candy wrappers. Sealed in plastic, also insert a Bible verse. At the end of the Bible verse, in very small type, provide a warning not to eat the "candy." That way, wicked children who choose candy over the Word of God will get exactly what they deserve!
8. When trick-or-treaters come to your door, tell them you are no different than the Lord Jesus when it comes to playing host to sinners. Then, take them into your basement (where the heater is set as hot as it will go) and torture them.
9. One of the best ways to witness on Halloween is by banging on a door, running into the living room and declaring that you will not leave the home of the unsaved until they sit and listen to you read an entire Chick Tract!
10. Place a burning cross in your front yard, dress your kids up as ghosts, form a circle around the cross, and sing hymns all night.
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Tattoo. (http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3300048/Stag-party-reveller-woke-sunglasses-tattooed-face.html?ito=social-twitter_dailymailUK)
One hell of a hangover: Stag party reveller wakes up to find a pair of 'Ray-Ban' sunglasses tattooed on his FACE
South Wales man went out with friends and woke up with markings on face
He thought the glasses design was something his friends did with a marker
But he realised it was a permanent - with 'Rayban' written on his temple
He has now spent two years having the tattoo lasered off of his face
By Richard Spillett for MailOnline
Published: 10:32 GMT, 2 November 2015 | Updated: 15:23 GMT, 2 November 2015
A stag do reveller couldn't believe his eyes when he woke up with a pair of glasses tattooed onto his face.
The party-goer looked in the mirror after the night out and thought his friends had drawn around his eyes with marker pen.
But when he tried to wash the markings off, he realised it was a permanent tattoo, which included the word 'Rayban' etched into his skin.
The man in his fifties has since spent two years getting the sunglasses tattoo lasered off of his face.
A South Wales man woke up after going on a stag-do to find this bizarre tattoo on his face and head
The man, from Swansea, South Wales, was on a stag weekend in Blackpool when he had the tattoo inked on to his face as a drunken dare.
He has agreed to speak about his ordeal on condition that he is not named.
He said: 'I had no memory of getting the tattoo because I had gone out celebrating and it happened when I was drunk. Waking up the morning after, I thought someone had used a permanent marker on my face.
'When I first came home, obviously I was subject to a lot of stares, but I kind of got used to the tattoo and decided not to get rid of it.'
But later, on another evening out with friends, he was mocked over the inking by someone in a pub.
He added: 'The next morning I really started to think about what my family and friends thought. I didn't want them to be embarrassed when they were out with me, so I decided there and then I was going to get it removed.'
The man went to 1192 Laser and Beauty Clinic in Swansea, South Wales, to have the removal.
The treatment has left him with some non-permanent turquoise markings, but those are expected to clear, leaving him with completely unmarked skin around his eyes.
At first he thought it had been drawn on with marker pen, but later realised it was a permanent tattoo
Donnalee Alford, owner of the clinic, said it was one of the worst tattoo blunders she had ever seen, as it covered his face.
The man said: 'When I first met Donnalee I made it clear I was not sure if I really wanted the tattoo removed.
'I had seen some horror stories and some friends have scars in the place where they had tattoos removed. If there was a chance of scarring there was no way I was having it done.'
But he had the procedure carried out on a test patch and then booked a full course of treatment.
The man had six treatments to make the tattoo no longer visible to the naked eye.
'All I can say is that the whole process was amazing,' he added. 'There is no scarring, and when friends who haven't seen me for months come over, they always notice something is different. When they realise the tattoo is gone, they are shocked about how well the treatment has worked.'
He has now spent two years having the inking removed from this face by laser surgery. He has been left with some markings around his eye from the surgery, but that will clear leaving his face unmarked
Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3300048/Stag-party-reveller-woke-sunglasses-tattooed-face.html#ixzz3qNQrNAR1
Follow us: @MailOnline on Twitter | DailyMail on Facebook
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The three tattooists I have been to have said they do not tattoo drunk people. Obviously not all of them follow this rule.
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You inspired me and I found a site representing Tattoo Fails.
Check it out; there are many more.
Some attachments:
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:lol1:
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Woman Phones The Bank After They Charge Her Dead Aunt. This Is Priceless.
If you have ever had to deal with a major corporation's customer service then you will really appreciate this.
My aunt died this past November. The Bank billed her for December and January for their monthly service charge on her credit card, and then added late fees and interest on the monthly charge...the balance had been $0.00... now was somewhere around $60.00)
I placed the following phone call to Bank:
Me: "I am calling to tell you that she died in November."
Bank: "The account was never closed and the late fees and charges still apply."
Me: "Maybe, you should turn it over to collections..."
Bank: "Since it is two months past due, it already has been."
Me: "So, what will they do when they find out she is dead?"
Bank: "Either report her account to the frauds division, or report her to the credit bureau...maybe both!"
Me: "Do you think God will be mad at her?"
Bank: "...excuse me .?"
Me: "Did you just get what I was telling you.... the part about her being dead?"
Bank: "You'll have to speak to my supervisor!"
(Supervisor gets on the phone)
Me: "I'm calling to tell you, she died in November."
Bank: "The account was never closed and the late fees and charges still apply."
Me: "You mean you want to collect from her estate?"
Bank: " (stammer)" .... "Are you her lawyer?"
Me: "No, I'm her great niece." (Lawyer info given... )
Bank: "Could you fax us a certificate of death?"
Me: "Sure." ( Fax number is given )
( After they get the fax. ) Bank: "Our system just isn't set up for death..."
Me: "Oh..."
Bank: "I don't know what more I can do to help..."
Me: "Well... if you figure it out, great! If not, you could just keep billing her...I suppose... don't really think she will care...."
Bank: "Well...the late fees and charges do still apply."
Me: "Would you like her new billing address?"
Bank: "That might help."
Me: (Odessa Memorial Cemetery #345 Hwy 129, and plot number 744 given.)
Bank: "That's a cemetery!"
Me: "What do you do with dead people on your planet?!!"
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Eh. Death doesn't cancel credit cards or get your estate out of responsibility for fees incurred. If she died broke it won't matter, if she had life insurance or any property then they will get their slice. Great niece should have cancelled those cards quicker.
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Eh. Death doesn't cancel credit cards or get your estate out of responsibility for fees incurred. If she died broke it won't matter, if she had life insurance or any property then they will get their slice. Great niece should have cancelled those cards quicker.
Maybe she did.
Dead people get mail and attempts to write stuff from their bankaccounts years after they have been officially announced dead. (Mean that all the contacts have been officially notified of the death of the person subscribed or contributing.)
Some bureaus just keep trying, hoping a family member will take the burden.
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Knock, knock...
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Who's there?
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Me you big dummy! ;)
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(http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_MzUnWnAPiDI/TCRxRpV8RXI/AAAAAAAAAV4/VFevQh83uFM/s1600/tumblr_kz1gz7pS6q1qaszsko1_500.jpg)
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(http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_MzUnWnAPiDI/TCRxRpV8RXI/AAAAAAAAAV4/VFevQh83uFM/s1600/tumblr_kz1gz7pS6q1qaszsko1_500.jpg)
:laugh:
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(http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_MzUnWnAPiDI/TCRxRpV8RXI/AAAAAAAAAV4/VFevQh83uFM/s1600/tumblr_kz1gz7pS6q1qaszsko1_500.jpg)
:lol1:
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(http://file2.answcdn.com/answ-cld/image/upload/w_728,c_fill,g_face:center,q_60,/v1439487106/gx9hfobg4aaaq017xxdb.jpg)
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:lol1:
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(http://highoctanehumor.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/08/Wife-Writes-Best-Letter-Ever-To-Cheating-Husband%E2%80%99s-Mistress..png)
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The PR was feeling down and asked for a hug. I gave her a GREAT BIG one. Squeezed a fart right out of her!
Moral: Small hugs are better.
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The PR was feeling down and asked for a hug. I gave her a GREAT BIG one. Squeezed a fart right out of her!
Moral: Small hugs are better.
Did the two of you feel elevated?
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The PR was feeling down and asked for a hug. I gave her a GREAT BIG one. Squeezed a fart right out of her!
Moral: Small hugs are better.
Did the two of you feel elevated?
Well, the gas did put us a bit over the top.
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Onesies for vacuumcleaners (http://www.bosch-home.nl/over-bosch/productnieuws/stofzuigerkostuums.html)
Claims that a third of the Dutch kids younger than 6 years old is afraid of the vacuumcleaner. Not only afraid of the sound they make, also afraid of the appearance.
So, there is a solution.
(http://www.bosch-home.nl/Files/Bosch2/Nl/nl/Images/Over_Bosch/Productnieuws/Stofzuigerkostuums/02-Bosch-450x300.jpg)
(http://www.bosch-home.nl/Files/Bosch2/Nl/nl/Images/Over_Bosch/Productnieuws/Stofzuigerkostuums/03-Bosch-450x400.jpg)
(http://www.bosch-home.nl/Files/Bosch2/Nl/nl/Images/Over_Bosch/Productnieuws/Stofzuigerkostuums/04-Bosch-450x300.jpg)
The onesies will be available on the first of April. :worship:
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Onesies for vacuumcleaners (http://www.bosch-home.nl/over-bosch/productnieuws/stofzuigerkostuums.html)
Claims that a third of the Dutch kids younger than 6 years old is afraid of the vacuumcleaner. Not only afraid of the sound they make, also afraid of the appearance.
So, there is a solution.
(http://www.bosch-home.nl/Files/Bosch2/Nl/nl/Images/Over_Bosch/Productnieuws/Stofzuigerkostuums/02-Bosch-450x300.jpg)
(http://www.bosch-home.nl/Files/Bosch2/Nl/nl/Images/Over_Bosch/Productnieuws/Stofzuigerkostuums/03-Bosch-450x400.jpg)
(http://www.bosch-home.nl/Files/Bosch2/Nl/nl/Images/Over_Bosch/Productnieuws/Stofzuigerkostuums/04-Bosch-450x300.jpg)
The onesies will be available on the first of April. :worship:
No, just HELL NO
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Onesies for vacuumcleaners (http://www.bosch-home.nl/over-bosch/productnieuws/stofzuigerkostuums.html)
Claims that a third of the Dutch kids younger than 6 years old is afraid of the vacuumcleaner. Not only afraid of the sound they make, also afraid of the appearance.
So, there is a solution.
(http://www.bosch-home.nl/Files/Bosch2/Nl/nl/Images/Over_Bosch/Productnieuws/Stofzuigerkostuums/02-Bosch-450x300.jpg)
(http://www.bosch-home.nl/Files/Bosch2/Nl/nl/Images/Over_Bosch/Productnieuws/Stofzuigerkostuums/03-Bosch-450x400.jpg)
(http://www.bosch-home.nl/Files/Bosch2/Nl/nl/Images/Over_Bosch/Productnieuws/Stofzuigerkostuums/04-Bosch-450x300.jpg)
The onesies will be available on the first of April. :worship:
No, just HELL NO
I think it would make an awesome BD gift for this place. I2 will have it's BD on the day this product will be for sale.
Mark that date. It's providence.
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The mouse one scares me. It's so ... big. :hide:
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The mouse one scares me. It's so ... big. :hide:
It's not a mouse, it has a big grey trunk.
Do you know mice with big grey trunks?
What animal could it be? Grey, big ears, tusks, and a trunk?
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A sabre tooth proboscis mouse. :zoinks:
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A sabre tooth proboscis mouse. :zoinks:
Did not know gophers knew such unusual words.
I like the word proboscis.
Now I am missing Lit. He could tell about Elephantus cum proboscis.
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The proboscis mouse is a real thing. :orly:
(http://www.pxleyes.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/freaks/26.jpg)
I thought it was a mouse first too and the tube is the tail. Then I realized the tube is attached to the face because of the tube placement on the other animals.
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The proboscis mouse is a real thing. :orly:
(http://www.pxleyes.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/freaks/26.jpg)
I thought it was a mouse first too and the tube is the tail. Then I realized the tube is attached to the face because of the tube placement on the other animals.
Had to look them up.
Great, and the sengis come in different colours too.
I'd almost want them as a pet. :LOL:
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Lol, there's been a bunch of lists complied of April Fool's pranks that should actually be real. Didn't see this in any yet but it belongs in one.
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Did you intend to post an image?
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How long would this have taken? Its Hilarious
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V_yxGsWHx9o
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ufGlBv8Z3NU
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ROBTDSK46aU
So much to love
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How long would this have taken? Its Hilarious
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V_yxGsWHx9o
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ufGlBv8Z3NU
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ROBTDSK46aU
So much to love
:laugh:
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Changing the subject, but this is awesome!
My wife shops (too much, but who am I to judge, accounting for all my online activity and all) on Amazon frequently.
She found the best nightshirt ever.
It says, "If you are not coffee, chocolate or bacon, then I am going to need you to leave."
While she looks cute as hell wearing it, I smile every time I think of it and it is her that I think of, partly because she has always NEEDED this night Tee.
I love it.
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Q: What do you call a perfectly fabulous brownie that is also gluten-free, sugar-free, fat-free and vegan?
A: Potting soil.
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emu with arms....
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4a363kSSe34
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:laugh:
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Q: What do you call a perfectly fabulous brownie that is also gluten-free, sugar-free, fat-free and vegan?
A: Potting soil.
Sorry, that doesn't make me laugh that makes me cry. You just described my diet . No, hang on , I can have the sugar! I was recently looking at sugar-free chocolate bars and it's like Wow!! they've cut out ALL of the bits I can eat. (can't do cocoa and dairy, either)
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(http://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0742/1555/products/Introverts_angle_grande.gif?v=1444948123)
People suck.
That’s why you prefer to stay inside with your stuffed animal collection. But even enjoying your own company requires some basic hygiene. Wash up with Soap for Introverts, a handcrafted bar dyed with a blend of nonconfrontational ocean blues. And we didn’t bother scenting it. Because seriously, it’s not like you’re going anywhere anyway, right?
http://whiskeyriversoap.com/products/soap-for-introverts
:zoinks:
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Just spotted this in the newsbox.
A QA Engineer walks into a bar. He orders a beer. He orders 0 beers. He orders 999999999 beers. He orders a lizard. He orders -1 beers. He orders a sfdeljknesv.
:LOL:
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Just spotted this in the newsbox.
A QA Engineer walks into a bar. He orders a beer. He orders 0 beers. He orders 999999999 beers. He orders a lizard. He orders -1 beers. He orders a sfdeljknesv.
:LOL:
That joke was like 75% of why I asked to get newsbox privileges back. :laugh:
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Q: What do you call a perfectly fabulous brownie that is also gluten-free, sugar-free, fat-free and vegan?
A: Potting soil.
BUT IS IT ORGANIC AND DOES IT CONTAIN PESTICIDES
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Q: What do you call a perfectly fabulous brownie that is also gluten-free, sugar-free, fat-free and vegan?
A: Potting soil.
Sorry, that doesn't make me laugh that makes me cry. You just described my diet . No, hang on , I can have the sugar! I was recently looking at sugar-free chocolate bars and it's like Wow!! they've cut out ALL of the bits I can eat. (can't do cocoa and dairy, either)
...you are brave to still get out of bed in the morning. I think losing chocolate might tip me over the edge. :zoinks:
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...
-
...
:laugh: Who was the guy who used to do that all the time?
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Q: What do you call a perfectly fabulous brownie that is also gluten-free, sugar-free, fat-free and vegan?
A: Potting soil.
BUT IS IT ORGANIC AND DOES IT CONTAIN PESTICIDES
Yes, it was an organically pure, non-GMO, free of antibiotics, hormones and pesticides and I was sure I heard them mention that it was also a free-range brownie.
:green:
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...
:laugh: Who was the guy who used to do that all the time?
Me.
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...
:laugh: Who was the guy who used to do that all the time?
Me.
Haven't seen it in so long, thought it was someone else long gone. Why don't you do it anymore? That crap was hilarious.
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...
:laugh: Who was the guy who used to do that all the time?
Me.
Haven't seen it in so long, thought it was someone else long gone. Why don't you do it anymore? That crap was hilarious.
I am always honing my craft.
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Here you all go, a free range brownie.
(http://www.lepamperedpig.com/images/poop%20in%20grass.jpg)
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...
Hehe. that chainsaw thread has a lot to answer for.
I did a double take on the updated topics list, when i saw:
My daughter is now dating
...with a Chainsaw
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Here you all go, a free range brownie.
(http://www.lepamperedpig.com/images/poop%20in%20grass.jpg)
That's not a brownie. That's fudge.
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I hate this thread. I can never make anyone laugh.
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I hate this thread. I can never make anyone laugh.
:laugh:
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I hate this thread. I can never make anyone laugh.
Well, we are not amused.
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(http://i129.photobucket.com/albums/p209/renaeden/IMG_250870760373746_zpsqe3ec55t.jpeg)
(http://i129.photobucket.com/albums/p209/renaeden/IMG_1359114866939012_zpsp14nh4kb.jpeg)
(http://i129.photobucket.com/albums/p209/renaeden/b5862229-7095-494f-93b2-5701bd384f3c_zpsdgdsirne.jpg)
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(http://images-cdn.9gag.com/photo/azAPQdz_700b.jpg)
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:laugh:
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Knock, knock!
Who's there?
Dunnit!
Dunnit, who?
Yoda
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(http://i129.photobucket.com/albums/p209/renaeden/FB_IMG_1477895613289_zps19fgcjep.jpg)
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(http://i129.photobucket.com/albums/p209/renaeden/FB_IMG_1477895613289_zps19fgcjep.jpg)
That was the classic line for necking at Lake Pontchartrain.
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(http://images-cdn.9gag.com/photo/azAPQdz_700b.jpg)
I've only just noticed this one Hyke!
Laughed so hard, it's actually brought tears to my eyes :plus:
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The submarine racing one made me lol!
Piss-take out of questions submitted about pregnancy:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=EShUeudtaFg
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:laugh:
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The submarine racing one made me lol!
Piss-take out of questions submitted about pregnancy:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=EShUeudtaFg
:rofl:
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Hilarious! But surprising that so many people can't spell pregnant.
:plus:
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(http://stream1.gifsoup.com/view3/1982143/angry-panda-o.gif)
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Here's baby ducks feeding fish. :orly:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xPxDw7ajfGE
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I-kv_Oo4qfo
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^ Awww.
-
Perhaps I should've put this here:
www.youtube.com/watch?v=0iGsm-OV-f0
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https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=BONhk-hbiXk
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(https://media.giphy.com/media/3o7TKIaoL2mZsbjrjy/giphy.gif)
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(http://i.imgur.com/Sh9AaS5.gif)
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^ Lol, wrong.
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Total Eclipse of the Chart
(http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-90YaivLTvkA/Tasg6e7QrQI/AAAAAAAAAHU/C1I45A9HZf0/s1600/teoth2.jpg)
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:laugh:
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(http://i.imgur.com/Sh9AaS5.gif)
:zombiefuck: The PR wanted to know what I guffawed at. I told her she was too young to know.
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You can actually hear the blood flowing through your veins if you listen varicosely.
:hide:
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When the pint over flowed for the second time, it was sent a subpoena for a quart date.
:hide:
-
Did you hear about the Chinese restaurant that was severely vandalized?
It was an act of wonton destruction.
:hide:
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All these fight games lately, dog fights, chicken fights, man fights, cat fights, kangaroo fights. Wallaby next?
:hide:
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The real meaning of the word opaque is still unclear.
:hide:
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The hungry gophers each ate on a different route to find the trunk.
:hide:
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Why has has no one ever heard a pteranodon go to the bathroom.
Generally, the "p" is silent.
:hide:
-
Dr. Frankenstein entered a body building competition and quickly realized that he had misunderstood the objective.
:hide:
-
Someone threw a bottle of Omega 3 tablets at me today, but I only suffered super fish oil injuries.
:hide:
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I read a paper on Confirmation Bias, recently. It only proved everything I knew about the subject.
:hide:
-
Now that I have become a student of marine biology, I feel that I have really found my porpoise.
:hide:
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*pelts you with rotten tomatoes*
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*Groan* DirtDawg!
-
:rofl:
+
-
:seal:
(I know it's a seal, I did it on porpoise since I thought your's might be lonely.
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This thread always perplexes me, since I am incapable of making anyone laugh.
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:lol1:
;)
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(https://i.imgur.com/Ox5SmUi.jpg)
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This thread always perplexes me, since I am incapable of making anyone laugh.
:laugh:
Welcome back, Trigger!
-
Not sure anybody else will find this funny, but a really old memory just surfaced for no apparent reason, and made me chuckle all over again.
I was doing "A" level Physics (that's high-school level to you Americans, I believe) as a mature student at a local College. One tutor (Mr Bell) taught Thermodynacics , Mechanics , etc. the other taught Fields, Waves, Elctromagnetism etc.
Anyway, one day I attemted to excuse myself, early from one of Mr Bell's classes by saying that I "had to go and see the Electricity Board" (Quite true . They were threatening to cut me off for non-payment of my bill, if I didn't get up there and sort it out fast).
Mr Bell responded with: "Why don't you just go up the corridor and knock on his door, once we're finished?"
I stared at him in puzzlement, then repeated myself.
"Ohhhhh! " exclaimed Mr Bell. "You have to see the Electricity Board! I get it, now. I thought you said you had to see the Electricity bod." (meaning the other tutor :LOL:
(Btw, that was back in the eighties. I looked at the modern Physics syllabus , not long ago, and it's radically different, nowadays, completely dumbed down. They've take all the maths out of it! and the texbooks now look like coffee -table books. Heck , those kids will get a shock -and-a- half when they get to Uni)
-
:lol1:
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CKKTqB_Lzv0
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(https://i.imgur.com/BxfUGtX.jpg)
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:lol1:
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I don't know who this lady is, but I love her. :GA:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y3yRv5Jg5TI
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:zoinks:
(http://www.joe-ks.com/archives_oct2016/CornMazeForOldPeople.jpg)
-
:zoinks:
(http://www.joe-ks.com/archives_oct2016/CornMazeForOldPeople.jpg)
(https://i.pinimg.com/736x/c5/fb/0f/c5fb0fa809f2e01577013357f950053e--fall-pictures-corn-maze.jpg)
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Thanks, MOSW. That's weird. It was showing when I posted it. :dunno:
-
Thanks, MOSW. That's weird. It was showing when I posted it. :dunno:
You're obviously too old to be able to post images. Not to mention smelly.
-
Paddy walked into a bar and said to the barman "I'll have 3 Irish whiskies thanks, straight".
His friend Mick saw him and said "This is the first time I've seen you order hard liquor Paddy, normally you're a Guinness man like me. What's the occasion?".
Paddy said "I just had my first blowjob".
Mick said "Wow Paddy, congratulations! Let me buy you a whisky as well!!!".
Paddy replied "It's okay Mick, if 3 doesn't get the taste out of my mouth I doubt if 4 will".
-
:glug: :glug: :glug:
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(https://www.theloop.ca/wp-content/uploads/2014/07/ZSOIxRi.gif)
(https://pics.me.me/dude-im-joking-funny-adult-humor-toxic-funny-adult-humor-grandma-15297091.png)
(https://cdn.vox-cdn.com/thumbor/RiHdtezXtHkxn9HRw6GrLzMGSoc=/800x0/filters:no_upscale()/cdn.vox-cdn.com/uploads/chorus_asset/file/12483327/wq0Q2TwhSDK7ilnBsiQW_Soccer_Beer_Save.0.gif)
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For those of you who don't know, the San Francisco 49'ers and Kansas City Chiefs are playing in the Super Bowl.
So the mayor of Kansas City tweets to the mayor of San Francisco "if the 49'ers win the Super bowl, I will fly to San Francisco and give you a rack of ribs". The mayor of San Francisco replies, "if the Chiefs win the Super Bowl, I will fly to Kansas City and take a shit on the state capitol lawn".
-
That's a bit mean of San Francisco. When is the Super Bowl?
-
That's a bit mean of San Francisco.
It was a funny joke, though the nuance could be lost to those in other countries. Kansas City is famous for their BBQ, while San Francisco is famous for their homeless crapping in the streets.
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Ohhhhh :orly:
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(https://media2.giphy.com/media/3R8OhehsI15yU/source.gif)
:plus: Sorry I can't really plus you.
-
That's a bit mean of San Francisco. When is the Super Bowl?
While Jack is right in identifying the joke, we can not really expect anything like good sportsmanship from a place so over run by the stank of liberalism run amok.
The Superbowl is played this evening.
I am a fan and I am pleased to see any team but teh Patriots in a Superbowl, for a change.
I do not care who wins. I am more of a player fan than a team fan, although I always support my life long love for the Cowboys and of course I live where the Colts play, so it is difficult for me to watch a game between the two when I want them both to end with a great season.
I feel that either team playing tonight is due for a title win and as long as the game is awesome as described, I will enjoy the experience.
-
It had to be done.
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:rofl:
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Yeah, funny, but...eeek! now i'm wondering if mosquitoes are gonna help transmitting the virus. The damned things have no respect for peoples boundaries, do they?
(sorry to rain on the funny parade. i shall now go away and try to come up with a decent joke)
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Good, thank you.
Make someone laugh. :evillaugh:
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Yeah, funny, but...eeek! now i'm wondering if mosquitoes are gonna help transmitting the virus.
I doubt it, but who knows?
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This is funny ...
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~~
/
___
-
^ :lol1:
-
Like my sleeping spazz?
~~
/
___
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^^ HOLY CRAP, that's a terrifying mix. :zombiefuck: :LOL:
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People are so tired of being cooped up inside they will do anything for an excuse to get outside.
Poor doggies.
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(https://www.demilked.com/magazine/wp-content/uploads/2019/10/5da8209a0da15-8-5cac5c63d855a__700.jpg)
I'm using this excuse not to turn up to work.
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:lol1:
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(https://i.pinimg.com/originals/3d/fc/e0/3dfce01b1dbf120fbe5bc5c9d8294922.jpg)
Not bi-winning after all?
-
So as I was looking at he news, this popped up and I honestly shit myself when I read the title. :LOL:
(https://i.ibb.co/8bNkWH2/Screenshot-20200728-174143-com-huawei-android-launcher.jpg)
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Little Girl: 5 little monkeys jumping on the bed....
Genesis: Was any of them named Donald?
Little Girl: ........
Little Girl: Who?
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:zoinks:
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:lol1:
-
This made me laugh. :green:
rock hound (266) Vermin Supreme (6) - homophobic bigot coward In topic July 29, 2020, 06:09:27 PM
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I've been watching far too much of The Wire lately. :lol1:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=70eU840lc38
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(https://scontent-sea1-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/79756468_2735011813409857_5871646779589525504_o.jpg?_nc_cat=100&_nc_sid=9267fe&_nc_ohc=Z_D1BOvcqQAAX9ZnQyy&_nc_ht=scontent-sea1-1.xx&oh=24aa1b010114bf54ea1e7ed7e49caec5&oe=5F5C0C70)
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I always envision a California map as divided by floods and fires. :zoinks:
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I always envision a California map as divided by floods and fires. :zoinks:
I was interested in an overlay map to spot any correlation there might be. :laugh:
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I always envision a California map as divided by floods and fires. :zoinks:
I guess the trick is to live on the bit where the two areas join.
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I always envision a California map as divided by floods and fires. :zoinks:
I guess the trick is to live on the bit where the two areas join.
:lol1:
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(https://i.chzbgr.com/full/9517450496/hA6349D9E/person-someone-sum-up-america-one-picture)
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^ It's only true if you add certain franchises other than McDonalds...
I get overly excited for the most random reasons... Cubbies are leading 4 to 1 against the Cardinals, and somehow I started bashing St. Louis BBQ by saying Kansas City BBQ is better.
What's wrong with me?
-
Dunno..
Durex Werbung Ballon Sex + Outtakes Blobbers (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O5kJa6oxnfA#)
:lol1:
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:headhurts:
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^ I like it even though I'm a Trekkie. I do like Star Wars as well though.
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(https://img.ifunny.co/images/66f28c25e7ccedb59b923de1829ea94c478c110e9a20ea3d40cb23ef9360b7d3_1.jpg)
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:lol1:
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:spitscreen:
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Used Snowman for sale! Parts only. As is, some assembly required.
-
One of the nicest onion asses you will ever see.
-
It's fashion. Get a yak sack handy and look it up.
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Ouch!
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This may not be funny to some, but ...
I always notice license plates. I can not say why or how I might be better off. I have never identified a criminal or anything useful with this OCD thing. But I can not look at anything without reading it.
So any license plate with "007" or "BAT" anything in it is automatically a winner, to me.
Today, driving my daughter to work I saw a plate # 696 IRL. I could not help but to read that in a perfuntory leet style as "69 girl."
69 Girls always win!!
Unfortunately, the old man driving the car looked to be about my mom's age.
:lol1: :lol1:
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Me: The next time there is a spill, could you guys make it more difficult?
My team lead at work: :o :lol1:
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I always look at number plates at well. I still haven't seen an HFA three numbers one. I've seen GRR three numbers and EWW three numbers. I say three numbers because I don't remember the numbers, only the letters.
I once saw a personalised green one with ADHD on it.
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I'll try to find something more funny.
That particular post was real life, today thing. I just felt like posting it for fun.
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Yeah, let's tear the shit out of a big, grotesque monopoly and make the mother company find a new way to sell what they sell.
Mission accomplished.
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No set up needed for this:
-
:LOL:
-
This is what happens when you can't keep a secret.
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It's all you Gary.
-
It's all you Gary.
:lol1: :plus: (Sorry, I can't really plus you.)
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:headbang2:
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:odeon:
-
Always room for a Larson.
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Cockroach Cake? I don't even want to know why.
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:green:
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(emo)
-
This is not a laugh thing, but MY GOD!!
Look at Jimi having some fun! I smiled!
-
:dunno:
-
:roar:
-
:facepalm2:
-
Looking back...there's a lot of truth in this. :laugh:
(https://i.imgur.com/V1DmOcw.jpg)
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Jack, a handsome man, walked into a sports bar around 9:58 pm. He sat down next to this stunning blonde at the bar and stared up at the TV as the 10:00 news came on. The news crew was covering a story of a man on a ledge of a large building preparing to jump.
The blonde looked at Jack and said, "Do you think he'll jump?"
Jack says, "You know what, I bet he will." The blonde replied, "Well, I bet he won't." Jack placed $30 on the bar and said, "You're on!"
Just as the blonde placed her money on the bar, the guy did a swan dive off of the building, falling to his death. The blonde was very upset and handed her $30 to Jack, saying, "Fair's fair... Here's your money."
Jack replied, "I can't take your money, I saw this earlier on the 5 o'clock news and knew he would jump."
The blonde replies, "I saw it too; but I didn't think he'd do it again."
Jack took the money.
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How to confuse an idiot.
-
:yikes:
-
So, how about some proper Arsicons?
(_!_) a regular arse
(__!__) a fat arse
(!) a tight arse
(_*_) an arse hole
{_!_} a swishy arse
(_o_) an arse that's been around
(_x_) kiss my arse
(_X_) leave my arse alone
(_zzz_) a tired arse
(_E=mc2_) a smart arse
(_$_) Money coming out of his arse
(_?_) Dumb Arse
Please contribute.
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:yawn:
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:angel:
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Big game here is to plow over someone's hard work building a snowman with the kids. Believe me, it's hard work.
This guy put his snowman in front of a tree trunk.
Good lesson for these types of "grown up" kids with their four wheel drives.
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Who ordered the Steam Gentile!?!
-
Looking back...there's a lot of truth in this. :laugh:
I look at that statement in a kind of inverse way in that I was trying to heal something in myself by going with all those toss backs.
Not sure my plan worked out for any definable amount of healing, though, in retrospect.
Mainly, I hardened myself by doing all that. I did not start out this way, but before I met my wife, I had become a "user" of women because I had been abused so many times by, in my book at the time, really desirable women.
Once I began to "get over" my beautiful ex-wife, I was no longer afraid of "the best looking woman in the room" and went after it when I saw what appealed to me. I often set myself up for failure by locating someone in as bad a shape as I was in many cases. There were a few times of mutual healing happening though.
Many of my ex-s were somewhat "healing" to me in many ways, I thought. I'd say, Rare occurence.
No need to further my psychoses by explaing it all, but I feel like it was all just a way to grow and become better, so I would know when I was in a mental place where I could find The One. And know the difference.
Probably why it took me two years after meeting her to marry the best woman I have ever known.
Now, if we don't laugh at that shit then we may be more damaged than any "recall" can fix.
:lol1:
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Odd, but very cool aquarium idea. Can't tell but if it is a saltwater affair, then even better. Looks like a fresh water with those plants and no coral.
I still like it.
-
:GA:
Pretty sure this is a photoshopped image of a shrew with a cheetah kitten's spots and scared half to death countenance applied to the shrew. Makes an impressive image for sure. I could be wrong, but I have never seen one of these.
Someone tell me if this animal exists or not, please. I would be so much happier for shrewkind if it did actually exist.
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Users, it was planned out for you, FFS!
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Not a laugh, but certainly a smile. Offering her athletic tits to her next climb.
:viking:
-
:facepalm:
-
What is it with these climbers and all those empty keychains they carry??
:dunno:
-
In the word "SCENT," which is silent, the "S?"...... or the "C?"
:zombiefuck:
-
:facepalm2:
-
:bigcry:
-
When you feel that you have the most useless job in the world, just remember there are teams of people working in a BMW factory in charge of installing turn signals which will never be used.
:nerdy:
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:green:
A dad walks into a market with his young son. The boy is holding a quarter.
Suddenly, the boy starts choking, going blue in the face. The dad realizes the boy has swallowed the quarter and starts panicking, shouting for help.
A well dressed, attractive, but serious looking woman in a blue business suit is sitting at a coffee bar in the market reading her newspaper and sipping a cup of coffee. At the sound of the commotion, she looks up, puts her coffee cup down on the saucer, neatly folds her newspaper and places it on the counter. Then she gets up from her seat and makes her way, unhurriedly, across the market.
Reaching the boy, the woman pulls the boy's pants down, turns him around, bends him over, reaches between his legs, and carefully takes hold of his testicles, and starts to squeeze them, gently at first and then ever more firmly.
After a few seconds the boy convulses violently and coughs up the quarter, which the woman deftly catches in her free hand.
Releasing the boy, the woman hands the coin to the father and walks back to her seat in the coffee bar without saying a word.
As soon as he is sure that his son has suffered no lasting ill effects, the father rushes over to the woman and starts thanking her profusely, saying, "I've never seen anybody do anything like that before. It was fantastic. Are you a doctor?"
"No," she says, "Divorce attorney."
-
In the word "SCENT," which is silent, the "S?"...... or the "C?"
:zombiefuck:
The 'C'. It's an actual rule.
-
When you feel that you have the most useless job in the world, just remember there are teams of people working in a BMW factory in charge of installing turn signals which will never be used.
:nerdy:
QFT
I was wondering just today wtf is wrong with them. They'll tailgate you even though you have cars right in front of you and expect you to give way. They'll switch lanes without warning, sometimes cutting it so close that you're lucky to be around to complain about it.
Cunts, the lot of them.
-
In the word "SCENT," which is silent, the "S?"...... or the "C?"
:zombiefuck:
The 'C'. It's an actual rule.
I know, I just thought for those who still wonder, it might be funny and/or influence them to ask again.
-
When you feel that you have the most useless job in the world, just remember there are teams of people working in a BMW factory in charge of installing turn signals which will never be used.
:nerdy:
QFT
I was wondering just today wtf is wrong with them. They'll tailgate you even though you have cars right in front of you and expect you to give way. They'll switch lanes without warning, sometimes cutting it so close that you're lucky to be around to complain about it.
Cunts, the lot of them.
It seems to be a kind of wiggly truth. I might include those Land Rover drivers as well.
Many drivers, and not just Beamers, consider the use of a turn signal to be along the lines of giving up Important, Classified Security Information to the enemy, while driving.
They have no idea how close they come to death sometimes with the distracting cellphones in everyone's hands. Most modern cars have a hands free function, but you still see them jacking with the things, constantly. So they have a nice place to hold it for them while they're driving. I only ask that not make too big of a mess when they ...
And I thought messing with the radio was dangerous in my start-up days.
-
We were supposed to smile at some of this.
-
:clap:
-
8)
-
:dunno:
-
:worship:
-
:'(
-
We all have about two minutes to live.
If you can take another breath, the clock resets.
-
This is SO overdue!
-
Nope!
-
They're covering a lot of bases here.
-
:GA:
-
I would love to see this. Rapidly changing weather, maybe?
-
8)
-
I would buy this T-shirt.
-
Not a laugh here, but maybe a jawdrop. People make these things all the time, but this kid looks to be for real.
Might have to skip an ad, but worth a couple of minutes. Watch her footwork on the kick pedal (inset) keeping up with Bonzo.
She's been on the "Ellen" TV show, so if you've seen this just skip it. If you make it to the end of this one, your heart will melt.
https://youtu.be/91pz1E8pAOY (https://youtu.be/91pz1E8pAOY)
Here's another, alternating triplets and quads on the kick with some complicated syncopation. Not an easy drumming assignment for anyone, let alone a kid. I think she likes Led Zeppelin.
https://youtu.be/A21-w7Bx4EQ
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Sorry, but I have to do it again.
License plate:
BJL 057
I'm not sure how you lose a BJ, but you have to feel bad for the guy.
:asthing:
-
What do you think Marjorie Taylor Greene sold her soul for?
A Klondike Bar??
-
Local radio celebrities, from Indy. "Bob and Tom." They always bring in funny guests for the morning "drive time" shows.
This one says it all. Give it a moment; it's hilarious.
https://youtu.be/uy5gRxjxHtg
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Let's get this shit straight ...
-
"Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose girl."
The priest asks, "Is that you, little Joey Pagano?"
"Yes, Father, it is."
"And who was the girl you were with?"
"I can't tell you, Father. I don't want to ruin her reputation."
"Well, Joey, I'm sure to find out her name sooner or later so you may as well tell me now. Was it Tina Minetti?"
"I cannot say."
"Was it Teresa Mazzarelli?"
"I'll never tell."
"Was it Nina Capelli?"
"I'm sorry, but I cannot name her."
"Was it Cathy Piriano?"
"My lips are sealed."
"Was it Rosa DiAngelo, then?"
"Please, Father! I cannot tell you."
The priest sighs in frustration. "You're very tight lipped, and I admire that. But you've sinned and have to atone. You cannot be an altar boy now for 4 months. Now you go and behave yourself."
Joey walks back to his pew, and his friend Franco slides over and whispers, "What'd you get?"
"Four months vacation and five more good leads..."
-
It's about five minutes it's very cute. Fresh take on the flight safety warnings.
https://youtu.be/1AE_hjOLDtU
-
???
-
I don't know, all my previous grandfathers had a favorite blade handy at all times. Most did not fit into a pocket, though. It was used for everything. If you are so scared that something is on the blade, wipe it again or maybe oil it.
This just seems so overly pussified to me. Actually, knowing many in my life, pussies are stronger than this!!
OK, I'm that 1 guy.
Wipe the blade again, if you need to.
-
I bought Kayleigh a Swiss Army Knife many years ago now. I bought it at an Army Surplus Store that has long since closed down. It's one of the only things that Kayleigh knows the location of at all times. I thought she would have lost it long ago but nope. I'm so glad that I bought her a meaningful present that year for her birthday.
-
I bought Kayleigh a Swiss Army Knife many years ago now. I bought it at an Army Surplus Store that has long since closed down. It's one of the only things that Kayleigh knows the location of at all times. I thought she would have lost it long ago but nope. I'm so glad that I bought her a meaningful present that year for her birthday.
Sounds like a great gift and well deserved, shown by keeping it handy at all times.
But, you skipped over the flawed thinking presented by the meme I posted. Does she cut her food with it?
:lol1:
-
Some peoples' (im)practical jokes are darker than most of mine.
:autism: :autism:
-
Mirrored outer wall for a treehouse?
Brilliant!
-
^That looks like aliens did it.
And yes, Kayleigh has cut her food with her Knife. She likes to sharpen it.
-
^That looks like aliens did it.
And yes, Kayleigh has cut her food with her Knife. She likes to sharpen it.
It kind of reminds me of the Star Trek movie where they were "spying" on this civilization from a kind of holographic blind built into a mountainside. Data finds out they were being pure shit and exposes them.
I think it was called "Insurrection."
I still want one.
And, YAY for Kayleigh! Keep it sharp.
-
Ouch
-
Coolest 'fridge ever.
-
Wow, I'd love that! The blue is really cool!
-
I can hardly imagine that it is real, but HELL, YEAH!!
-
:LOL: I want to hide in the mulberry bush... because apparently, I'm the weasel?
-
:M
-
An Irish priest was transferred to the St Johns Catholic Church (Glenelg). Father O'Malley rose from his bed one morning. It was a fine spring day in his new parish.
He walked to the window of his bedroom to get a deep breath of the beautiful day outside. He then noticed there was a donkey lying dead in the middle of his front lawn.
Not knowing who else to call, he promptly called the local police station. The conversation went like this:
''Good morning. This is Sergeant Jones. How might I help you?"
"And the best of the day ter yer good self. This is Father O'Malley at St. John’s Catholic Church. There's a donkey lying dead right in der middle of me front lawn."
Sergeant Jones, considering himself to be quite a wit, replied with a smirk, "Well now Father, it was always my impression that you people took care of the last rites!"
There was dead silence on the line for a long moment and then Father O'Malley replied, "Ah, 'to be sure, that is true; but we are also obliged to notify the next of kin."
-
I am not sixty six years old.
I'm Sweet Sixteen, with fifty years of experience.
:mischief:
-
Damn autocorrect!
-
Hmmm...
-
This actually works. I don't know why.
-
Many signs are posted all over the state, some even sponsored by the Highway Department: "Don't Mess With Texas."
Learn it.
-
I think this commentator has it wrong. This is a beautiful home improvement.
-
Well, yeah.
-
Kind of like me these days.
-
“Light thinks it travels faster than anything but it is wrong. No matter how fast light travels,
it finds the darkness has always gotten there first, and is waiting for it.”
Terry Pratchett.
:green:
-
Saw a pic, meant to be funny, with a dog lying in a pothole in the street, captioned, "Look! It's a dogsize pothole!"
My thought was, "Fucking Americans! We will use absolutely any goddamn thing we can think of to measure stuff EXCEPT centimeters. WTF!"
:lol1:
After more thought, if another pothole was a little less than half the size of the one shown, would we call that one a 7/16 dogsize pothole?
:facepalm:
-
:apondering:
The French eat a lot of fat and are healthier than the British or the Americans.
The Italians drink a lot of wine and are healthier than the British or the Americans.
The Germans drink a lot of beer and are healthier than the British or the Americans.
Conclusion: if you want to stay healthy don't speak English.
-
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iBDvUKO9exo
-
:clap:
-
I don't get it.
:LOL:
-
:GA:
-
:stoned:
-
I don't think the party is over just yet.
-
:autism:
-
Shit, I need to get this up.
-
I know there is a VW Beetle in the original. Always wondered if it was meant as irony, with another "Beatle" parked.
Is this guy throwing some shade at the Fifth Beatle, also?
-
:yikes:
-
Forgive me for posting old stuff many have already seen, but some are worth an additioonal grin, at least.
I would love to have some help here. Post something, folks.
:heisenberg:
-
Sugarbutt showed me this one today. :zoinks:
(https://i.pinimg.com/474x/ee/38/39/ee38395cc8e445f16b06e6b5959928a0--to-my-wife-open-roads.jpg)
I would love to have some help here. Post something, folks.
Don't sweat it. It's like the Google Doodle thread is my thing, this thread is your thing. I look forward to your posts in this thread. :thumbup:
-
I like all that you post, DirtDawg, I'd plus you for every one if I could. I especially liked the Boomer one, I've I've heard nearly all those tunes.
-
Thanks, guys.
I just have had a lot of time to waste lately. I have plenty to do, but not capable quite yet. Getting there, little by little.
I have another month of physical therapy at this point, but the curve of improvements seems to be steepening, unless I'm still fooling myself.
I have set myself back by trying to do too much too soon; still learning that lesson, again.
Can't wait to get my shop running again. That will slow down my post rate some.
-
Motorcycle mechanics got art too, so there! :smarty:
-
Takes a couple of minutes for a conclusion, but while watching, imagine the brilliant young mind that came up with all this and brought it to reality.
Maybe someone should ask him/pay him to work on The Economy.
Not his only vid, btw.
https://youtu.be/Ss-P4qLLUyk
-
:orly:
-
:doggie:
-
Wet Owl > Bunny With A Pancake On Its Head. :bunny:
Check with each for perspective. You'll get it.
-
Thread crapping, here, but we have owls in our new space.
Old space we had at least two families of kestrels living there for many years and one pair of red tailed hawks a block away, keeping the smallers aware.
A few weeks ago, I was out with coffee on the back lawn, bundled, cold, pipe in hand, when I heard a very near "hoot." I could not tell where it came from because it was so loud and it echoed off everything.
About twenty feet above me was a barn owl holding his domain, who took off immediately after I spotted him in the silhouettes of the brightening morning sky.
He was magnificient.
He took off instantly like a rocket blast, making no sound I could hear. He knew I saw him, though.
It was just Monday that I saw him again in the same spot.
I tried not to look at him, but as soon as I did, he knew and blasted away again, absolutely silently.
Not a laugh, but I honestly hope that our presence is not crapping his thread too much.
-
I saw this on my dashboard.
:LMAO:
Remind me--I owe you a plus.
I brought this back to the front after I found it.
This was posted by Bastet.
I just plussed her with:
Girls? Wait until they become women!
-
:GA:
-
:deadhorse2:
-
:autism:
-
If you read my little rant about Americans using any fucking thing they can think of to measure things, "EXCEPT AN ESTABLISHED METRIC SYSTEM, FFS," I found another example. I am NOT wrong about this stupid crap.
Check this dumb shit out, using software.
If they "needed" to use imaging software to determine the height of a treeline, how about taking a picture of a meter rule? FFS!
BTW, you CAN get a metric scale of one meter in length over here. I have a very nice stainless steel one (several smaller versions as well - one foot rule, FFS, but gradated in milimeters on the reverse) I have used all of them to build speaker boxes for many years. I even use it as a saw guide at times when precision is required. Get one folks! Stop the insanity!
-
We know this is how they do advertising, but this is still a little disturbing.
I did not see any tits, though!
https://youtu.be/2YBtspm8j8M
Check out some more "Dissolve" if you are inclined. All of it is entertaining up to a point.
-
:hahaha:
-
I have often wondered how some of this might smooth some of our daily interactions.
Now I discover they can deliver it by the truckload.
I'm in!
-
Loud knock on the door as an El train goes by ...
Citizen: What? Oh, hello officer.
Officer: What? Sir, it looks like your wife was run over by a truck.
Citizen: What? Oh! I know, but she is amazing and I love her to death.
Officer: What? I am here to deliver some bad news.
Citizen: What? I know all that already. I married for her other reasons.
Officer: What? Sir I must tell you that your wife has passed.
Citizen: What? Oh, I know she goes to the store this way.
Officer: What? Sir, I must prepare you for bad news.
Citizen: What? Oh I see. Shit! Meatloaf again and she wanted to bring back up?
Officer: What? Sir ...
One of my "friends" from Chicago shared this as a funny. Honestly, it is bit more dark than I usually re-post. I can not imagine living next to the El. I stayed in the only hotel available once with the El right above me. I could never live there.
I guess it's the "Whats" that make it funny?
-
If you read my little rant about Americans using any fucking thing they can think of to measure things, "EXCEPT AN ESTABLISHED METRIC SYSTEM, FFS," I found another example. I am NOT wrong about this stupid crap.
Check this dumb shit out, using software.
If they "needed" to use imaging software to determine the height of a treeline, how about taking a picture of a meter rule? FFS!
Using a fat white guy as a measuring stick might be satire. :zoinks:
-
Aren't you tired of it all?
I don't give shit about being like everyone else, but seriously?
My mention is not wrong!
-
Now, this offends me.
I feel the Sting, here. I might call the Police.
-
If you read my little rant about Americans using any fucking thing they can think of to measure things, "EXCEPT AN ESTABLISHED METRIC SYSTEM, FFS," I found another example. I am NOT wrong about this stupid crap.
Check this dumb shit out, using software.
If they "needed" to use imaging software to determine the height of a treeline, how about taking a picture of a meter rule? FFS!
Using a fat white guy as a measuring stick might be satire. :zoinks:
I try to make my comments a part of the joke, but the metric thing really does irritate the hell out of me to be most honest.
I may go too far sometimes.
Pounds (which of the several?), cups, tablespoons, teaspoons, Fahrenheit, grains (which kind?), hands (don't try it), miles, acres, gauge (wire gauge, metal gauge, drill gauge, shotgun gauge, tree gauge, inclination gauge - all different!), caliber (just, no!)
Really, don't get me started, you have no idea how I can get......
When we have to double translate half of what we try to say to the rest of the world, are we actually communicating?
I am just keeping the obvious joke running, mostly, but DAMN IT! We are not even up to measuring liquids, yet.
:lol1:
Sorry, can't seem to spell anymore.
-
:puke:
-
Don't know much about physics, but sometimes you can see it working right in front of you.
-
Sometimes, going with the grain makes no sense.
-
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AkKmBEbKk0I
-
:2thumbsup:
-
I've had Moosehead beer, but this ...?
-
OCD much?
I would wait for this.
-
Come on, John!
-
I think this is a Michael Caine character.
Not sure.
-
These guys could bring the Baby Formula!
-
The horror! The HORROR!
Don't know the movie, but I think this Tony Aiello being forced to watch.
-
Probably need a few more of these signs up, everywhere.
-
:zoinks:
-
I'll bet they were rethinking that whole Beatles Invasion of America idea.
-
:headhurts:
-
What if you have shiploads of all three?
-
:MLA:
-
I'm So Tired
-
A man playing records in a canoe. (I think it's Gandhi which makes it stronger, somehow)
Your argument is invalid!
-
Who wouldn't love a pure bread pooch?
-
:facepalm2:
-
:headbang2:
-
:spitscreen:
-
:grouphug:
-
About time.
-
:dunno:
-
This is not a laugh thing, but some serious shit!
My father used a wheel chair when he aged, crutches before that. Polio, back in '26. Not much hope for a future of any kind, they said.
Having a way to access things on his own was more improtant than many can even understand.
He lived before these things happened.
It fills my heart!
It's nicknamed a "STRAMP." Hoping it brings a smile. The name is a little funny.
-
See that 97?
That's about thirty miles down river from where I grew up. Gulf is right there. We used to bike over to go fishing. Stay the night, fish a bunch and bike back next night. I had a cooler strapped to my bike where most guys had a "sissy seat."
See that 16?
My dad's work took him there one year when I was in high school. I learned to tennis shoe skate on ten below ice before we left.
Ten blocks walk to school. No bus. Nope. Had to live five miles away to ride a bus. Did it every day. Some days started below freezing and the walk home was in the eighties. Not kidding a bit. Caprock living can be brutal.
Mom was PISSED when I forgot to bring home my jacket.
-
:viking:
-
:GA:
-
This is actually taxidermy work, but some of these Texas people are goofy!
Guy says he has sold hundreds of these. I don't want one.
-
Jesus!
-
I'm going camping. Who's up for it?
Yes, it's a pic we might have seen and I cropped the fuck out of it to bring the interest to where the statement lies.
-
You're cooking ribs? Seriously?
-
Funny, but I just mentioned how to improve a so-so pic with very deliberate cropping, keeping just the story and eliminating distractions.
I found this, BUT, who ever save it cut out the cartoonist's signature, so I have no idea where to find more of this off the wall, Larsonesque, smart person's work.
-
I'm done asking. Don't do it again!
-
Two Floridian women recently transplanting from New York on the beach in Miami, just emerging from the surf. One looks at the other sez to her friend "I'd just die for a ciggie right now!".
Her companion pulls a perfectly dry cigarette from her top and presents it with pride. Amazed, the first woman sez, "I don't suppose you have a match in there, ha ha?", and she withdraws a match, lights it and the cigarette.
Further amazed, the first smoker exhales a cloud with satisfaction and asks, "how did you do that?", whereupon the second woman withdraws a latex wrapped packet of loose cigs and matches from her top and shows it to her friend.
"It's just a condom, they have them at pharmacies everywhere. get the non lubed ones Works for me".
So, the next time the first woman's at a pharm, she asks the counterman for a condom. "What size?" He asks.
What? you mean they come in sizes?" She sez, Thinks a minute ...
"okay, thanks, I suppose something sized to fit Camels then."
:LMAO:
Oh, no!
That would fit three packs of smoggies, a hand torch, meals for two days and a tent.
I didn't fix it, I just C&P'ed it. It obviously came from "elsewhere" and it has been doctored by a few 'mer'cans, but NO ONE fixed the grammar or tried to correct the punctuation! I thought that was also part of the joke, in my way of seeing these things.
For one thing, you do not "transplant" yourself. Calling someone a transplant is an insult of higher order.
Still funny!
-
You may be a lover but you ain't no dancer!
-
Makes one wonder what happened to her carrot nose.
-
Police officer notices some erratic driving and approaches the car in traffic. Getting close he can see a gray haired lady driving and resolves himself to yet another unpleasant stop. Puts his lights on and she does not respond. After a momemt he chirps his siren and she begins to pull over.
He gets to car window and says, "Ma'am the reason I pulled you over is that I saw you weaving back there."
She fires back, indignantly, "WEAVING? I MOST CERTAINLY WAS NOT!!"
Then she holds up her yarn and needles, "It's crochet."
-
Snow is over here, but I have to remember this prank.
I just want to add another level to this prank. Obviously you would do this to a "friend," right? So I would try to make it look like the assailant peed his name in cursive using the effluent.
Piss on you! Yeah YOU!!
https://youtu.be/H0l2L4JdFKM
-
Newlywed learning to cook:
"What do I do with left over bacon?"
Mother in law:
"Left over bacon? I've never heard of it. Is that a new kind of bacon?"
-
:headbang2:
-
Sometimes even the best dads get it wrong.
BASSMASTER. Bass is a game fish and common logo for fishing supplies, in the case for those unfamiliar with the marketing strategy, now you might get it.
-
Best friend.
-
:GA:
-
Some don't know when to give up.
-
I was at a restaurant last night and ordered Lobster.
Finished all my appetizers, getting annoyed at the wait.
Waiter eventually bought my dinner out.
I was agast and said to him "HEY, this lobster only has one claw!"
He says "We have so many in the tanks and this one got into a fight."
So I said, "Well, HELL, then why don't you bring me the winner!"
-
Grandma comes in with an armload of fresh vegetables from the table garden and finds Grandpa in the kitchen.
She says, "Oh! Hi! Are you cooking supper tonight?"
Grandpa says, "Sure. I'm hungry." So Gramdma asked, "What are we having?"
Grandpa says, "I don't know yet, but the grease is hot."
This is not some joke thing I copied somewhere, like all the others, but an actual memory from my childhood. Laugh a bit though, because it really is kind of funny if you think about it.
Actually, my grandpa made the best fried carrots, right out of his garden, I have ever had!
-
There’s a bunch of jokes in Louisiana based upon a pair of fictitious cajuns named Boudreaux & Thibodeaux. Here’s one that an old friend told me several years ago:
Boudreaux is sitting on his gallery ( what you guys call a porch) and Thibodeaux drives up with a truckload of duck tape. Boudreax asks him what is doing with all of that duck tape. Thibodeaux saya he’s going duck hunting. Hours later Boudreaux watches Thibodeaux driving back with a truckload of ducks!
Next day Boudreaux watches Thibodeaux drives up with a truckload of cat tails. ( cat tails are plants that grow in the marsh). Boudreaux asks him what is he doing with all of those cat tails? Thibodeaux says he’a going to catch cats. Boudreaux tells him you can’t catch cats with cat tails and goes back in his house. Later, Boudreaux watches Thibodeaux drive past with a truck full of cats.
Next day, Thibodeaux drives up and Boudreaux asks what he has in the truck today. Thibodeaux replies “pussy willows”. Boudreaux tells him “ wait, let me get my hat”.
-
At this point, I am beginning to wonder if we still need the "QUACK" thing going.
:asthing:
-
:poo:
Are we getting too close to religious stuff, now?
-
It has been found that a man's screams can also shatter glass.
-
:GA:
-
Screams of Urban Myth, but a bit funny:
To the guy who tried to mug me in downtown Savannah night before last.
I was the guy with the black Burberry jacket that you demanded I hand over, shortly after you pulled the knife on me and my girlfriend. You also asked for my girlfriend's purse and earrings.
I hope you somehow come across this message. I'd like to apologize. I didn't expect you to crap in your pants when I drew my pistol after you took my jacket. Truth is, I was wearing the jacket for a reason that evening, and it wasn't that cold outside.
You see, my girlfriend had just bought me that Kimber Model 1911 .45 ACP pistol for Christmas, and we had just picked up a shoulder holster for it that evening. Beautiful pistol, eh? It's a very intimidating weapon when pointed at your head, isn't it? I know it probably wasn't a great deal of fun walking back to wherever you'd come from with that brown sludge flopping about in your pants. I'm sure it was even worse since you also ended up leaving your shoes, cellphone, and wallet with me. I couldn't have you calling up any of your buddies to come help you try to mug us again.
I took the liberty of calling your mother, or "Momma," as you had her listed in your cell, and explaining to her your situation. I also bought myself and four other people in the gas station this morning a tank full of gas on your credit card. The guy with the big motor home took 150 gallons and was extremely grateful!
I gave your shoes to one of the homeless guys over by Vinnie Van Go Go's, along with all of the cash in your wallet. I threw the wallet in a fancy pink "pimp mobile" parked at the curb after I broke the windshield and side window out and keyed the drivers side. I called a bunch of phone sex numbers from your cellphone. They'll be on your bill in case you'd like to know which ones. Ma Bell just shut down the line, and I've only had the phone for a little over a day now, so I don't know what's going on with that. I hope they haven't permanently cut off your service.
I could only get in two threatening phone calls to the DA's office and one to the FBI with it. The FBI guy was really mad and we had a long chat (I guess while he traced the number).
I'd also like to apologize for not killing you and instead making you walk back home humiliated. I'm hoping that you'll reconsider your choice of path in life. Next time you might not be so lucky.
-
:facepalm2:
-
Don't Pass Me By or Why Don't We Do It In The Road?
Need to nail this one down.
-
:apondering:
-
:coolyo:
-
We expect so much from our machines!
Might need a new one.
-
:viking:
-
Students in an advanced Biology class were taking their mid-term exam.
The last question was, 'Name seven advantages of Mother's Milk.’ The
question was worth 70 points or none at all.
One student, in particular, was hard put to think of seven advantages.
However, he wrote:
1) It is perfect formula for the child.
2) It provides immunity against several diseases.
3) It is always the right temperature.
4) It is inexpensive.
5) It bonds the child to mother, and vice versa.
6) It is always available as needed.
And then the student was stuck. Finally, in desperation, just before
the bell rang indicating the end of the test, he wrote:
7) It comes in two attractive containers and it's high enough off the
ground where the cat can't get it.
He was awarded an A.
-
:2thumbsup:
-
Not a laugh, but... Awesome photo!
Even if you're a pretty damn big fish, you might not see this happening.
-
I want one.
-
If you've ever picked up a stick from the forest floor and thought, "WHOA! This is a good stick!"
Then, we are brothers.
-
Ever seen someone just struggle with some of the most average things in life? Things just don't go their way no matter how they try and they don't know why.
They haven't figured out yet that they are still "IT" from grade school recess.
:zombiefuck:
-
Luck of the Irish goes both ways!
Mick, from Dublin, appeared on ‘Who Wants To Be A Millionaire’ and towards the end of the program had already won £500,000
“You’ve done very well so far,” said Chris Tarrant, the show’s presenter,
“but for a million pounds you’ve only got one life-line left, phone a friend. Everything is riding on this question. Will you go for it?”
“Sure,” said Mick. “I’ll have a go!”
“Which of the following birds does NOT build its own nest?
a) Sparrow
b) Thrush
c) Magpie
d) Cuckoo?”
“I haven’t got a clue,” said Mick, ”so I’ll use my last lifeline and phone my friend Paddy back home in Dublin”.
Mick called up his mate, and told the circumstances and repeated the question to him.
“Hell, Mick!” cried Paddy. “Dat’s simple. It’s a cuckoo.”
“Are you sure?”
“Of course I’m sure.”
Mick hung up the phone and told Chris, “I’ll go with cuckoo as my answer.”
“Is that your final answer?” asked Chris.
“Dat it is.”
There was a long, long pause and then the presenter screamed, “Cuckoo is the correct answer! Mick, you’ve won 1 million pounds
The next night, Mick invited Paddy to their local pub to buy him a drink.
“Tell me, Paddy? How in Heaven’s name did you know it was da Cuckoo that doesn’t build its own nest?”
“Because everyone knows the cuckoos live in a clocks and some of them aren't even real!”
-
B2 Bombers don't do this, since their bombs have motors and computer control systems, too.
But what a similarity!
-
From this list, we can clearly see that birds are deadly.
:autism:
-
:worship:
-
:GA:
-
A man lays sprawled across three entire seats at a posh theatre.
Before the show has even started, an usher walks by and notices the man.
“Sir, you’re only allowed one seat, can you please sit up?”
The old man groans, but stays where he is.
The usher became impatient with the man says
“Sir, if you don’t get up, I will need to get my manager involved”
Again the old man just groans, which infuriates the usher as he marches off to get the manager.
In a few moments he returns with the manager and they both repeatedly attempt to move him, but with no success.
It was at this point that the manager calls the police.
Moments later, a police officer arrives and approaches the old man,
“All alright buddy, what’s your name?”
“Sam” the old man moans.
“And where ya from Sam?”
With pain in his voice, Sam replied
“the balcony”
-
:kapkao:
-
:lolhit:
-
:emb:
Don't ask me how I know.
-
:yikes:
-
Still kind of pricey if you ask me.
:o
-
Fun thing! Steam Driven Motorcycle. Turn sound on!
Sending you to a Reddit page for a vid.
https://www.reddit.com/r/interestingasfuck/comments/sy4njk/steam_powered_motorcycle/
-
I took a detail of this work capturing activity on the sun.
I'm telling you people, all this shit is due to fucking sunspots!
:LOL:
Posted by
ajamesmccarthy
"I captured a 286 megapixel image of our sun this week using a special telescope. This is the most active I've ever seen it."
-
I can't imagine how long it took to bring this obsession to this level.
"All the letters, large and small case. Quartz veins in stone."
-
Privacy is so important!
-
Wins at camouflage.
-
The REAL man talking and meaning it!
-
Not sure why, but I want to make one.
-
Researching my new neighbor birds, I've learned a lot more about owls, lately. I did not know that owls could or would swim. Apparently this one fell in somehow by accident and is surviving.
Unlike waterfowl, the have no way of leaving the water in flight. Their feathers become saturated. They have to find a way to land and dry their feathers before resuming flight. But they can deal with it. Falling into a canyon was not an owl plan.
-
:clap:
-
:evillaugh:
-
"I can’t think of anything that better illustrates the lure of bacon than wave after wave of wolves going to their deaths trying to get it."
-
I have tried so long to like soccer or football or futbol as some call it.
What it is turning into is worse than the NBA crap the players try to pull.
I'm going back to racing!
-
Looks very cool, but not comfortable at all.
-
This is an odd optical illusion of a spinning "Mobius/Escher" type thingy that has become popular recently. This one is is a bit better than most.
Apologies in advance for the headache.
>:D
https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-rvlWsxaldXw/YQqUOoL85iI/AAAAAAACCdw/YHqSP4VDn0cgSziMMLswL9MGpLPF1HmwACLcBGAsYHQ/w555-h555/tumblr_7caaa46e278e910e9b120c47765851bf_16be070d_1280.gif (https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-rvlWsxaldXw/YQqUOoL85iI/AAAAAAACCdw/YHqSP4VDn0cgSziMMLswL9MGpLPF1HmwACLcBGAsYHQ/w555-h555/tumblr_7caaa46e278e910e9b120c47765851bf_16be070d_1280.gif)
-
:roar:
-
:hyke:
-
:lol1:
-
:dunno:
-
His Lordship was in the study when the butler approached and clears his throat discreetly. "May I ask you a question, my lord?"
"Go ahead, Wilson," said his lordship.
"I am doing the crossword in The Times and I have found a word I am not too clear on."
"What word is that?" asked his lordship.
"Aplomb," my lord.
"Now that's a difficult one to explain. I would say it is self-assurance or complete composure."
"Thank you, my lord, but I'm still a little confused."
"Let me give you an example to make it clearer. Do you remember a few months ago when the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge arrived to spend a weekend with us?"
"I remember the occasion very well, my lord. It gave the staff and myself much pleasure to look after them."
"Also," continued the Earl of Grantham, "do you remember when Wills plucked a rose for Kate in the rose garden?"
"I was present on that occasion, my lord, ministering to their needs."
"While plucking the rose, a thorn embedded itself in his thumb very deeply."
"I witnessed the incident, my lord, and saw the Duchess herself remove the thorn and bandage from his thumb with her own dainty handkerchief."
"That evening the hole that the rose made on his thumb was very sore. Kate had to cut up his venison even though it was extremely tender."
"Yes, my lord, I did see everything that transpired that evening."
"And do you remember the next morning while you were pouring coffee for her ladyship, Kate inquired of Wills with a loud voice, 'Darling, does your prick still throb?' And you, Wilson, did not spill one drop of coffee? That, Wilson, is complete composure, or aplomb."
-
The modern expression, "Domestic Housewife" implies that there must be feral houswives out there somewhere. Every single man now has a new goal for which to strive.
:autism:
-
Society: Just be yourself!
Me: OK, then!
Society: NO! Not like that!
:finger: :finger:
-
:thumbup:
-
:headhurts:
-
:thumbup:
-
:LMAO:
What's a valve and why would a car need one?
-
I can only plus you for one of the last several posts.
Well, as an admin, I can, actually, but it isn't fair so I won't. :P
-
Thanks.
I just hope some of this brings an occassional smile for those willing to wade through this mess I have made here.
So much time on my hands these days.
Things are changing, though. My arm is better!
-
There's a lot of funny posts here, thanks DirtDawg. :)
-
:2thumbsup:
-
Just because some of these Texas gals, smell like hay and cattle, spend most of their time with Daddy and a bunch of "beeves" doesn't mean they aren't worth a second look.
Hell, help her get her boots off and wash her back for her, if you get the chance. Lots of guys prefer the fancy "dress girls" but to some of us, "blue jean girls" are the way to go! Learn to Two Step!
:celebrate:
-
:dunno:
What's wrong with this woman?
-
Latte, anyone?
-
Probably contrived just for social media points, but still funny.
-
You have to admire the welcoming Texas folks, wide open arms, ready to help out these Yankees who come to town.
Welcome to Texas! You're gonna need to walk some.
:thumbup:
-
Bluebonnets are the Texas State Flower. They grow wild and they are beautiful in bloom. Lots of tourists stop and gawk, frolic some and ask if it's OK to pick a few.
Well, it's not illegal, so sure, go right ahead! You should wear boots.
There are reasons why most Texas folks enjoy them from a distance.
-
:zoinks:
-
Not sure why this is so damn funny to me.
:bee:
-
:popcorn:
-
Given the choice, these would be my glasses.
:headbang2:
-
Probably too soon for this joke, but ... what the Hell!
-
:junkie:
-
:LMAO:
-
This actually happened to a degree, but the incident was turned into an internet meme. He was not actually hurt. Just some good ole boys wanted to "have a talk" with the smart guy.
Still funny.
-
The wussification continues.
-
How about one of these old Buicks?
Correction:
Actually, I had downloaded this image named as a Buick, but judging by the lack of decorative fake vents on the side and the round rocket ship for a hood ornament, this is an image of an Oldsmobile pulling a matching camper trailer.
They are similar, but this guy got it wrong. This is an Olds!
-
:GA:
-
(emo)
-
I am the danger.
:heisenberg:
-
:laugh:
-
:dunno:
-
:hahaha:
-
:autism:
-
Some of the dumbest shit can be funny for a minute or two.
-
Not a laugh thing again, but just fucking incredible. I have seen this before but clicked past without looking. My bad!
I could not name more than a few, but I found this:
Back to front, left to right:
Back: Auguste Piccard, Émile Henriot, Paul Ehrenfest, Édouard Herzen, Théophile de Donder, Erwin Schrödinger, JE Verschaffelt, Wolfgang Pauli, Werner Heisenberg, Ralph Fowler, Léon Brillouin
Middle: Peter Debye, Martin Knudsen, William Lawrence Bragg, Hendrik Anthony Kramers, Paul Dirac, Arthur Compton, Louis de Broglie, Max Born, Niels Bohr
Front: Irving Langmuir, Max Planck, Marie Curie, Hendrik Lorentz, Albert Einstein, Paul Langevin, Charles-Eugène Guye, CTR Wilson, Owen Richardson
Lordy Gods!!
Look up every name you are not already familiar with. You'll be glad you did, if you're a simpleton like I am.
-
There is a Special Place in Hell for Freud, I hope.
-
:thumbup:
-
:LOL:
We aren't there yet, people.
-
They probably could have chosen a better image to illustrate how washing your hands in a sink works.
-
:apondering:
-
Some people are just too thin skinned to breathe with the rest of us.
-
Always yield to a master.
-
Creativity lives!
-
This is kind of fun if you have half an hour.
It reminded me much of things I had not used often and forgotten about to a degree.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6ZrO90AI0c8
-
This should bring a smile!
-
Dogs are amazing!!
-
Interesting medium.
-
:clap:
-
Do not piss this girl off!
-
:2thumbsup:
-
:apondering:
-
:spitscreen:
For the younger, if you don't get this, look up Mr. T.
-
Begging here!
-
:yawn:
-
:'(
-
:GA:
-
:autism:
-
Suck it up whine bag!
-
:2thumbsup:
-
:laugh:
-
:viking:
-
:angel:
-
>:D
-
:o
-
8)
-
???
-
:yikes:
-
:zoinks:
-
Sun doing its best to make the whole world METAL!!
-
"Is it tomorrow or just the end of time?"
-
:headbang2:
-
:zombiefuck:
-
:dunno:
-
It's entertainment, folks. Turn it off if you are not having fun.
Airing out the mommy parts is one style of modern, pop dance. Deal with it.
-
:heisenberg:
-
:2thumbsup:
-
Not a laugh.
There is no reason for me to post this except, just look ...
This artist is being blackballed because of ... boobs.
Sabyasachi Baba. His name is longer, but that is what I could verify. He's a stylist of Indian origin, it seems.
-
A couple more.
Can't see the blade yet (screen shot) about to remove your head in the boy pic. There are many more.
I feel it both ways. Using commercialism (boobs) to keep your images in view could be considered giving in to the BIG $$.
I also see that if you do not keep your craft in view, you will instantly die in most realms.
-
Not sure what this is, but where I come from, this looks like two grasshoppers doing it.
-
Not a laugh again. Check this guy out!!
His art looks like some of my fractal flames, but these are hand holdable and some are meant to wear as bracelets or broaches.
"Japanese artist and designer Mariko Kusumoto (previously) shapes gossamer coral and sea creatures from soft fibers like polyester, nylon, and cotton. Embedded with tiny ripples or airy pockets, the standalone sculptures and wearables are translucent renditions of lifeforms, and their delicate compositions correspond with the fragility of the subject matter. The Boston-based artist tends to cluster the individual pieces into larger works, creating sprawling reefs and diverse ecosystems brimming with color and texture."
-
A mother would never even think of this, but I know what the guys are thinking, especially those with little brothers.
-
::)
-
:autism:
-
Not true with me.
My wife is the best driver I know for keeping safe. I might question her routing, but that's a whole different reason to backhand me in the face.
She often forgets she's driving a sporty Chrysler 300 with a massive motor, best brakes ever, kicking sound system, cornering to beat any Euro or Jap wannabees, lots of Giddyup, plenty of WHOA! Some luxury thrown in and it's a super cool car! Mopar can still thrill.
...... instead of driving a clunky overloaded, hard to drive truck that can barely climb a hill without coughing or turn a corner without falling over. She does that truck shit sixty hours a week for a living.
Family drive time, I have to keep quiet!
Holding my tongue causes a different expression, more like many days of constipation are just now over.
Still a funny pic!
-
:finger:
-
So many ideas, so little time.
-
Old, but more current than ever!!
Give it a listen.
https://youtu.be/-9poCAuYT-s
-
Almost!
-
:dunno:
-
:zombiefuck:
-
:autism:
-
Some people must be really fun to know.
-
Rusian warship, go fuck yourself.
I have not been able to confirm this with other sources, but the story is, the Ukraine made a postage stamp to commemorate an important moment in history.
"Quite possibly the most badass postage stamp ever printed."
Quote from an interesting article ... Linky >>> https://www.badassoftheweek.com/hrybov
"I realize now that it's taken me roughly 3,000 words to say what Roman Hrybov successfully communicated with just five, so I'll end here by saying I'm reminded of an old joke about lawyers:
What do you call 12,000 tons of Russian war materiel at the bottom of the Black Sea?
A good start."
-
Rusian warship, go fuck yourself.
I have not been able to confirm this with other sources, but the story is, the Ukraine made a postage stamp to commemorate an important moment in history.
"Quite possibly the most badass postage stamp ever printed."
Quote from an interesting article ... Linky >>> https://www.badassoftheweek.com/hrybov
"I realize now that it's taken me roughly 3,000 words to say what Roman Hrybov successfully communicated with just five, so I'll end here by saying I'm reminded of an old joke about lawyers:
What do you call 12,000 tons of Russian war materiel at the bottom of the Black Sea?
A good start."
True.
https://www.president.gov.ua/en/news/volodimir-zelenskij-pogasiv-poshtovu-marku-russkij-voyennij-75309
I remember seeing the auctions for confiscated tanks on eBay before they started taking them down...and this...
https://en.interfax.com.ua/news/general/804441.html
Ukraine gov saying that there was no need to declare them on taxes as income... :LOL:
...and the old women handing out sunflower seeds to the Russian soldiers "so that when they died over there, they would have flowers to look at."
I have a huge amount of respect for the Ukraine people. They are badass.
-
I don't have any Ukrainian stamps...
-
Of all the weird yard art you see, I think this guy should get a prize.
-
For some reason Chrome winked out after downloading these images and I lost the page of the Nederlander who made this.
I'll find it again, maybe; he's got more.
Awesome scooter idea!
Anyone into Steampunk, besides me?
-
I don't have any Ukrainian stamps...
I have a few from the Iron Curtain era of the fifties and sixties. A complete mint collection of "Ukraine" overstamped on Hitler Heads from Nazi occupation. Not many really. None of them are worth much, not even the Nazi ones.
Want to help their efforts, some? How's this for an idea?
Every country which supports Ukraine should have their houses of government declare THAT STAMP as legal for postage in their countries and purchase hundreds of millions of them worldwide.
I'd buy a sheet.
-
I have a huge amount of respect for the Ukraine people. They are badass.
Whole heartedly agree.
I want a President with a backbone like theirs, too.
-
Gopher Gary, one of your cousins, I presume?
I'd be proud!
-
:lol1:
-
WARNING!!! SCAM ALERT!!!
Be on the lookout for this girl and her friend. They are hanging out around the big 24 hr Tescos car park.
When you are putting your shopping away, they ask you for a lift to McDonalds. They are very convincing and very hot! Once in your car this one takes off her clothes and starts climbing all over and pawing you, while she keeps you busy the other one takes your wallet!
I had my wallet taken on the 7th, 8th, 10th, twice yesterday and probably again tomorrow. Tescos sells wallets for £2.99 but I found some at the Poundland for only £1 so I bought all they had. These two harlots not only take your wallet but you never even make it to McDonalds-- so I've already lost 10 kgs!
Keep a lookout for them They are really working this scam. (I find that lunch time and around 5:30pm are best).
-
:orly:
-
I thought this was fake, until I saw a video of him doing this in real time with a fork and a straw.
Wish I could find that vid again.
-
:GA:
-
:apondering:
-
My lamp has been spying on me this whole time.
:zoinks:
-
:bigcry:
-
WTF!?!
-
:dunno:
-
:clap:
(He's a long time actor and heart throb for some, if you don't know. One of the best voices ever)
-
:roar:
-
:hahaha:
-
:nerdy:
-
Lots of idiots live here.
-
:clap:
-
:headhurts:
-
Whew!
-
Just trying to help out with a public service message ...
-
:green:
-
:dunno:
-
:heisenberg:
-
:GA:
-
:asthing:
Some one made another one!
-
When the river keeps coming, a man has to set his priorities.
Seven guitars and a bass.
The dog knows what to do. The old lady can figure it out.
-
:tinfoil:
-
:2thumbsup:
-
:hide:
-
:headbang2:
-
:tard:
Why do people need to bifurcate some things, when they could almost as easily just divide them down the middle?
-
:headhurts:
-
:orly:
-
:hahaha:
-
:CanofWorms:
-
:2thumbsup:
I really want to do this!
-
:2thumbsup:
I really want to do this!
Absolutely God Damn right!
Have not seen you around in a while. Welcome back.
:thumbup:
I hope things are going well for you.
Go back a few pages. I have been a bit lamed up lately (broke my arm in three places) and have dropped many funny things in this thread for all to cringe, spit, hide, hate, laugh or ignore.
-
Random insightful life comments upon aging:
1. When one door closes and another door opens, you are probably in prison for life.
2. To me, "drink responsibly" means don't spill any and keep going.
3. Age 60 might be the new 40, but 9:00 pm is the new midnight.
4. It's the start of a brand new day, and I'm off like a herd of turtles with hip problems.
5. The older I get, the earlier it gets too late to start anything new.
6. When I say, "The other day," I could be referring to any time between yesterday and 25 years ago.
7. I remember being able to get up without making sound effects that disturb the cat.
8. I had my patience tested. I'm negative.
9. Remember, if you lose a sock in the dryer, it comes back as a Tupperware lid that doesn't fit any of your containers.
10. If you're sitting in public and a stranger takes the seat next to you, just stare straight ahead and say, "Did you bring the money?" They will leave.
11. When you ask me what I am doing today, and I say "nothing," it does not mean I am free. It means I am doing nothing on purpose.
12. I finally got eight hours of sleep. It took me three days, but whatever.
13. I run like the winded.
14. I hate when a couple argues in public, and I missed the beginning and don't know whose side I'm on.
15. When someone asks what I did over the weekend, I squint and ask, "Why, what did you hear?"
16. When you do squats, are your knees supposed to sound like a goat chewing on an aluminum can stuffed with celery?
17. I don't mean to interrupt people. I just randomly remember things and get really excited about it.
18. When I ask for directions, please don't use words like "east" or "south" or where the "whatever, used to be."
19. Don't bother walking a mile in my shoes. That would be boring. Spend 30 seconds in my head. That'll freak you right out.
20. Do not try to stand between me and the bathroom door if you value your health.
-
:finger:
-
:tard:
-
How many times have we all felt like this sunflower?
-
Sometimes I think too much, that's when problems begin to occur.
Don't feed the trolls!
What?
Don't feed the trolls!
But it's so fun!!!!
Why the hell would it be fun!?!
:zoinks:
-
I want this bookmark.
In fact I want to make personalized ones and sell them.
-
:GA:
-
Never do anything that takes a long time to explain to the paramedics.
Just a head up from my fire fighter friend.
-
:lol1:
-
:autism:
-
I want this bookmark.
In fact I want to make personalized ones and sell them.
That’s awesome!!
-
:yawn:
-
:hide:
-
:GA:
-
:tard:
-
:orly:
Sure it's 'shopped, but still funny.
-
We might be related.
-
Wee Hughie was delivering papers to an apartment house. While there, a stunning young woman came out of the apartment next to the mailboxes wearing only a robe. Wee Hughie smiled at the young woman and she started up a conversation with him.
As they talked, her robe slipped open, and it was obvious that she had nothing else on. Wee Hughie broke into a sweat trying to maintain eye contact.
After a few minutes of flirting, she placed her hand on his arm and said, "Let's go to my apartment, I hear someone coming."
He followed her into her apartment; she closed the door and leaned against it, allowing her robe to fall off completely. Now nude, she purred at him, "What would you say is my best feature?"
Flustered and embarrassed, he finally squeaked, "It has to be your ears."
Astounded, and a little hurt she asked, "My ears? Look at these breasts; they are a full 38 inches and 100 percent natural. I work out every day and my ass is firm and solid.
I have a 28 inch waist.
Look at my skin, not a blemish anywhere. How can you think that the best part of my body is my ears?"
Clearing his throat, Wee Hughie stammered, "Outside, when you said you heard someone coming...that was me."
-
Loyal British patriot:
Well, we have a King now. Everything is going to take SO much longer. The King can only move one square at a time.
-
When you're sleeping comfortably and in your dreams, you find a toilet somewhere, do NOT use it. Trust me on this.
-
You have got to be fucking kidding me!!
Homemade gingerbread Groot
-
"Learning to manage an aging bladder can be difficult. For instance you can go from, "Hey, there's something on the radar" all the way to DEFCON 1 in a matter of seconds."
-
:hyke:
-
:headbang2:
-
Pure genius.
-
Not so much a laugh as a tip of the hat to brilliant journalism.
"The day of Einstein’s death, while all other photographers and journalists rushed to the hospital to report on his death, only one photographer, Ralph Morse, went to Einstein’s office. He was allowed to go into the office to take the now iconic picture of Einstein’s desk as he had left it."
-
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=208mqJHWhPY
-
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-ogHYa6DS6U
-
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LDzyA0-1n2E
-
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sYcoO3DzDXg
-
"If we let Z be the radius of a Pizza and A be the thickness of the Pizza. Then PIZZA will perfectly calculate its volume."
-
"My husband asked if he was doing anything hurtful or harmful that could possibly damage our marriage. Then he got all mad and started acting butthurt just partway through the Power Point presentation I made for him."
-
:2thumbsup:
-
:LMAO:
I might add a question mark to my arsenal. A very large question mark in red on a random person's driveway.
I would carry a clipboard, too.
-
What it looks like before they use it in TV shows?
-
This could be me, but just the super quiet opening of the back door changes the pressure inside the house enough to awaken me, every morning when she arrives.
Light sleeper here.
:dunno:
-
She'll be SO proud!!
-
I would go there!
-
:hahaha:
-
:tinfoil:
-
She'll be SO proud!!
:GA:
-
:zombiefuck:
-
:apondering:
-
:headbang2:
-
:cbc:
-
I found a mistake in a proofreading course .pdf. It's just an errant full stop (period) but my eyes were drawn to it.
English is hard? Why, yes. Yes it is. :plus:
-
I found a mistake in a proofreading course .pdf.
:lol1: You should get extra credit for that. :plus:
-
Agreed!
I like how you learn the rules, but there are more exceptions to the rules than places where the rules apply.
-
When I was in school 1963, they taught us etymology and you were tested to make sure you could recognize which words came from other languages and how the rules bent around adapted or adopted terms in English.
My kids were not even offered this advantage, since so much was taught about how bad everything American is and how we should change to make up for being so bad.
I had to step in ... "Hey, that word is from Latin." or "Did you know that's a French word anglicized to our use?" or "Watch out; that word is adapted from Greek!" or "Oh, SHIT, African word!"
Honestly both kids have become accomplished writers now and they wonder how I know so much when most of this is new to them. But, I'm a high school drop out. My education was never finished.
The answer is simple. Education has changed from pure instruction to brainwashing.
Continuing to learn after school is YOUR job!
Notice the Ghandi quote in my siggy.
-
I found a mistake in a proofreading course .pdf.
:lol1: You should get extra credit for that. :plus:
Thanks! :)
The course has a Facebook group and unfortunately we're not allowed to criticise other people's spelling and grammar. I can see their point, though - it could turn into personal attacks, etc.
I once pointed out multiple errors made by my twin on Facebook. She told me to fuck off and quit Facebook altogether. I thought I had a point considering she was homeschooling her kids; lead by example and all that. But in the end I apologised and things are ok between us now.
-
Be Kind. Please, rewind.
-
^I wonder how many people were gullible enough to buy that?
-
This is not a laugh, but still fun. I just can not think of an appropriate place to post something like this.
There are a few ginko treees here, but they are rare. Quite hardy, it seems. Large ones in Indiana botanical gardens means they can take some cold.
Enjoy.
"The Ginkgo tree is unique. The relationship of Ginkgo to other plant groups remains uncertain. It has been placed loosely in the divisions Spermatophyta and Pinophyta, but no consensus has been reached. The Ginkgo is a living fossil, with fossils recognisably related to modern Ginkgo from the Permian, dating back 270 million years. The ginkgo is classified in its own division, the Ginkgophyta, comprising the single class Ginkgoopsida, order Ginkgoales, family Ginkgoaceae, genus Ginkgo and is the only extant species within this group. It is one of the best-known examples of a living fossil, because Ginkgoales other than G. biloba are not known from the fossil record after the Pliocene.
This is the Shimane Ginkgo, located in Shimane Japan, showing the mature, spreading form. It is over 600 years old. Younger trees have a more columnar shape, possibly due to human intervention."
-
You have got to be kidding me ...
Spares for the television show.
-
Smart child!
-
When you are out running with all your dogs and fall.
"Are you OK?"
-
Again, not a laugh, but just fucking amazing!
Murrine glass blown, layered and constructed, then cut into slices and polished ...
Artist, Loren Stump, which google.
-
Ever seen this place on an album cover? Led Zeppelin fans?
-
No fishing, no camping, no fires, no surfing, no damn nuthin!!
-
The tree still lives and is doing fine.
-
:zoinks:
-
:2thumbsup:
-
As hawt as it gets!
-
Artichoke in full bloom, just in case you were wondering.
-
Don't let it touch you!
:GA:
-
All one continous line on an Etch-A-Sketch.
Amazing!
-
Avoid these birds. In fact, avoid Australia in general, to be safe.
:lol1:
Anyone who doubts that some dinosaurs have evolved into modern day birds should have a closer look and a longer think.
Famous last words: "Yeah, it's as tall as I am, but it only weighs a hundred pounds or so. Besides, it's a bird, FFS."
Cassowary clawed foot compared to a human hand.
-
Lordy Gods!! Hot rod racing yacht, anyone?
Anything connected to that mizzen mast or fore mast scares the crap out of me!
You must shift and rotate the aft mast sails once in a while to maintain a forward course. Can you imagine the forces you must defeat. No wimpy sailors on this boat!
-
Anyone who doubts that some dinosaurs have evolved into modern day birds
That old question, what came first the chicken or the egg? I've always said, the answer depends on if a person believes the bible or Darwin. :lol1:
-
I am pretty sure, except for some few oddly ignorant zealot types, that this is a settled argument. No reason to carry any of it forward.
Plenty of questions remain, but noting the facts of evolution is hardly one of them.
It is the eggs which carry changes into the variability of THE life forces.
If you must say God did this, then enjoy your search for the magnificence of God within the adaptability of life as other things around those parental egg creators alter their offspring in accordance with God's Will.
It must be your God's Will that allowed us to all become creators of life through reproduction.
One example, irrefutable, is found near Chernobyl where the light green frogs have changed to nearly black, due to increased melanin production in offspring to protect them from radiation that harmed the parents.
The parents laid those eggs which changed the life of those offspring for the better.
It's not an either or, most especially NOT if you are willing to "believe" in an all knowing intelligence at the wheel.
:lol1:
-
Ever shake hands with a bald eagle?
-
Don't pet the fluffy cows!
This one is being treated by a veterinarian after it won a scuffle with a pickup truck. It weighs over three thousand pounds.
-
Found some of these following a concern about Yosemite hiking trails closing early this year.
The USGS has been monitoring a rise in the elevation of certain areas that have them jumping through hoops trying to understand why.
Some places have risen more than six centimeters since the beginning of summer.
Some rise and fall is normal, especially near geysers, but this is not a good sign and a bit too much to ignore.
I'm not saying have a laugh at the Super Volcano so close to us, but just identifying the theme I seem to have taken on this thread lately.
Some animal are pics from Yosemite sites.
-
Sorry, Odeon, that this has to be so big, but if any are to have a chance to read it at all, it needs to be bigger than I usually post.
I do not speak the language, but it looks like favorable marks for this seventeen year old kid.
I love the fact it is mostly written in cursive! Even stylized, cursive shows commitment!
-
:dunno:
-
From another online "friend's" siggy:
"I do not have a Bucket List, but my Fuck It List is a mile long!"
I can identify!
-
:facepalm2:
-
Sometimes, vandalism just works!
-
:orly:
-
:'(
This is more true than we like to think about.
-
Potatoes win!
-
::)
"There's just SO much going on these days! I need to get on the internet and find out what I think about it all."
-
Clever Kid
-
I can not explain it, but these things appeal to me.
I want to build one!
-
:GA:
-
Carlin was borderline genius.
-
Another take I find hilarious.
-
:thumbup:
-
Sign of the times.
-
Grandpa, what were you thinking?
I love the fact that after fourteen kids, they got twins.
-
:lol1:
Consider my plus to be for all of the last several posts. I needed the laughs.
-
I hope I can keep them coming, brother.
Sharing a snicker is about all I have left to add these days.
:M
-
This was my very first car. 1963 Dodge Custom 880 two door hardtop.
Obviously, a stolen pic from the internet ...
Get rid of the Kragar wheels and put back the stock wheel covers with fake spinners and the white roof has to go. Mine was all red, but had been driven by a '70s version of Mr Magoo and had about forty small dents all over it. He ran into everything!
I bought it with fifty thousand miles on it for two hundred bucks in 1972. I had been saving money and I had a lot more than that because I wanted a muscle car, but this came up and I took it. I really NEEDED my own damn car!
I drove it for two years until I found a '70 Mach I Mustang, my second car.
The Dodge had a 383 cu in (6.27 Liter) two barrel engine, push button automatic transmission, air conditioning, power everything, including windows which did not need the key on to operate. Convenience over security in those days, I suppose was the norm.
I kept this old beast until 1980 when I moved to Nashville and my mom insisted I could no longer leave it parked out back. It was still in great condition when I sold it to a friend for eight hundred bucks.
I had all the dents fixed, re-upholstered the interior with new tan carpet, tan buttoned seats, painted it copper color instead of red (foolish), replaced the brakes and all the engine things like radiator, water pump, fuel pump, rebuilt the carb, new 60 series tires, had a blasting stereo installed that would run you out if I cranked it up, new battery, A/C, new vacuum hoses, brake lines, fuel hoses, filters, wipers and basically everything that went wrong with old cars in those days.
It was larger than this cute pic suggests. I once smuggled eight of my high school buddies in the trunk to beat the drive-in movie fees. One sat up front with me. Might have drawn suspicion if they had noticed that there were ten lawn chairs in the back seat.
It really was a fantastic car and I wish I had kept it!
Oh, notice the rounded glass windshield and the side vents which "Detroit" no longer feels we need. No power side mirrors. You reach out with your hand and move the damn things. It worked.
:LMAO:
What did your first car look like?
-
:clap:
-
"Kids these days have no understanding of consequences. They can not be disciplined or corrected without your being prosecuted for abuse. Hell, I can remember my mom resetting me to factory specs with one slap!"
-
Saw this on the site where Parts axe murder was newsed out.
I thought it was funny.
-
"My support animal is a chicken. I like the three piece with a biscuit and mashed potatoes."
-
I'm ready.
-
This doesn't work for me consistently, although I did get it to work once and found it intriguing and true.
-
Oh the toil one faces with being popular on the internet ...
It's SO damn cute!!
-
I wonder why ...
-
:thumbup:
-
I'd buy stock!
-
:dunno:
-
Excellent, DirtDawg! :plus:
-
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4WwJ6OVSwkM
Heard this on Music Choice cable TV and it made me chuckle! >:D
-
:asthing:
-
:autism:
-
:CanofWorms:
-
:tard:
Be careful with this one; it's disturbing ...
...
-
:dunno:
-
:lol1:
Consider my plus to be for all of the last several posts. I needed the laughs.
:plus: :lol1: Keep them coming, indeed!! These are excellent!! I like the tornado one the best (not anything to do with my love of tornadoes, it was funny!!).
-
This doesn't work for me consistently, although I did get it to work once and found it intriguing and true.
Hmm, they looked the right way up for me at first glance. Does that mean anything?!
-
It probably does, but I can not imagine what it might mean.
There have been quite a few times where optical illusions did not work for me.
All those dots that don't exist or the converging lines that don't really converge all fool me the same as most.
Tricks of lighting on the other hand may not work for me.
I think some of that has to do with the fact that I have been a lifelong photographer and we learn to analyze light in a different way, because it is the lighting that often makes an interesting image out of something very mundane.
Finding and defining the light source, directionality, quality, spread, intensity, contrast, etc. amounts to one of our most powerful tools in imaging.
On this one illusion, I still see the one that is right side up and all the others look upside down.
-
I can't see those Magic Eye pictures because I have no depth perception. Other illusions though, I'm the same as everyone else.
-
How about those dual stereoscopic images that turn into 3D pictures after a long (relaxing?) stare.
I am different with those as well. I am one of those weirdoes who can move his eyes almost independently from each other.
You should see me do a drunken stare with one eye up or down and the other crossed, then switch back and forth.
:LOL:
When I see those stereoscopic images I can instantly go to it and see the 3D, then move back and forth keeping the focus and the 3D image while I move around. They used a lot of those while assessing my astigmatism.
Eye doc tells me that is not common. Wish I could find a way to sell oddness for a profit.
:dunno:
-
Those dual stereoscopic images are the Magic Eye pictures I was talking about. I guess Magic Eye is the brand name.
I'd love to see your drunken stare! :D I have very limited movement in my left eye so I can't do what you describe.
-
I used to love Magic Eye books. I had a couple of big stickers that had the same effect. One was a picture of raining cats and dogs, and they stood out when you looked at them as if looking into the distance. I used to have a huge collection of stickers.
-
:apondering:
-
:popcorn:
-
:autism:
-
"Thank God for that Holy plexyglass that protects me from the deseased person checking out my groceries. I can see clearly now as she touches EVERY fucking thing I am taking home with me, all the while talking inanely about nothing, spraying my groceries with her infected filth."
Get a grip folks. If you were going to die you probably already would have done so.
-
"Thank God for that Holy plexyglass that protects me from the deseased person checking out my groceries. I can see clearly now as she touches EVERY fucking thing I am taking home with me, all the while talking inanely about nothing, spraying my groceries with her infected filth."
Get a grip folks. If you were going to die you probably already would have done so.
:lol1: Someone thinks the plexiglass is supposed to shield the customers from the long line of cashiers breathing on them all day. :tard:
-
:headhurts:
-
:hahaha:
-
:lol1: :lol1: :lol1:
-
When the bots get ahead of some of us ...
:lol1:
-
:asthing:
-
:tard:
-
:nerdy:
-
:dunno:
-
I did not think to take a screen shot of this, but it struck me as funny after giving it some thought.
I ordered a new Bluray player this week. Nothing great, I just needed to replace an old one that was going psycho and not responding to its remote predictably. That's a capital offense to me as far as an electronic device goes.
I ordered from Amazon and you know how they always offer other items to go with your purchase?
Guess what they offered to benefit my enjoyment with my new acquisition.
Six different kinds of Depends and other brands of incontinence helper pants. Do people get a new binge machine and just sit there for hours without pausing for a bathroom break every so often?
Out of curiosity, I clicked on one trying to understand the relevancy. That particular model of men's disposable undergarment came in three sizes, Small, Medium and Black.
I think someone was having a little fun with the Amazon website.
:lol1:
-
Now it's in your recently viewed items. :lol1:
-
:hide:
Goes with the territory. Lots of guys my age need them.
Oh well, I guess I'm all set when my turn comes.
-
I might need some help with this one!
An image from the depths of our sleepy minds that many of us car or bike people have had.
Why didn't I do this?
'57 Chevy Hog, anyone?
-
Apparently this Arlen Ness fellow, now deceased, liked to play in that particular sandbox.
-
Not as funny as sad. A couple of years ago when absolutely everyone was dying to get back to normal and restrictions from most states were still in place, they were pushing it and doing concerts.
... wearing masks on stage!!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J5C0i3Mbozc&list=RDmK6tcgsKgps&index=11
-
I fucking love this!!
The city replaced the street light but they took care to keep the woodpecker's home in place.
:worship:
-
:GA:
-
Buzz is 93. He looks pretty damn good!
:viking:
-
I like his shirt and I agree with him.
-
I want one like it!
-
I have a NASA t-shirt that has the logo like the one on his jacket.
-
:dunno:
-
... and God said, "Oh, that's Keith Richards. He was already here when I came."
-
:cbc:
I'm your huckleberry!
-
I worry.
:tinfoil:
-
Not a laugh, just a big AAaaawwwwwww!
-
I worry.
:tinfoil:
:lol1:
-
:orly:
I presume everyone has seen some "Shrek" in previous years.
-
:nerdy:
Actually, I like celery, but I thought this was a little funny.
-
:odeon:
-
:hahaha:
-
:apondering:
-
Lumber prices these days, you gotta find an angle.
:mischief:
-
^ :lol1:
-
:apondering:
-
I have had this happen when I was rotisserie cooking a chicken and needed to tie it down better.
:yikes:
-
:asthing:
-
I can identify ... somewhat.
-
:headbang2:
-
:tard:
-
Phil rarely gets it right.
-
^Yeah, that's right, you've just had Groundhog Day.
-
"How often do you encounter someone and think, "Damn, it's because of people like you that we need to have instructions on shampoo bottles."
-
:dunno:
-
Last night I opened the jug that I'm supposed to pour my pee into. It looked like it had liquid in it so I had a sniff. Holy shit, that sent spears up my nose. I went to Kayleigh and gave her the jug and told her to take a whiff. Hilarious. I then looked at the sticker on the jug and it said hydrochloric acid! is used as a preservative and to be careful not to spill it. Well now it has some of my pee in it so we won't be sniffing it again.
-
:zombiefuck:
:LOL:
-
:hahaha:
-
:headhurts:
-
:asthing:
-
:clap:
-
:bigcry:
-
:lol1: :lol1: :lol1: :lol1: :lol1:
:plus: :plus: :plus: :plus: :plus:
For the past eight pages or so. Help yourself.
-
Great to see you dropping by!!
Hope things are going OK.
-
Good to see you too.
Some problems with the cub, I might rant about it in elders sometime. Mostly just getting by.
-
Getting by counts.
Cub raising is tough. I can't imagine doing so alone.
You'll figure a way through!
:2thumbsup:
-
:GA:
-
:orly:
-
:thumbdn: Shower beer snobs!
-
:hyke:
-
Not funny, just a little sad.
:heart:
-
:soapbox:
-
Involuntarily turning your car in the direction your head is turning can be bad.
-
Why?
No, REALLY, why?
-
:tard:
-
I’ll join in, if that’s alright. These are very funny.
”Bar in the house”, at 3:14
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KiP1RYhZRHM
I highly recommend “Bars” at 3:42 and “Drunk with Trees” at 1:14 also.
-
Damnit I needed all that after the damn dog on a gravestone. Fricking emo bombs in the middle of a humour thread.
:hitler:
:LOL:
-
Been getting a chuckle out of Conon O'Brian Clueless Gamers series:
https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLVL8S3lUHf0RqD7TZ6hohWk8Sd3asaqnY
-
Damnit I needed all that after the damn dog on a gravestone. Fricking emo bombs in the middle of a humour thread.
:hitler:
:LOL:
I have sort of commandeered this thread since no one was using it for a year or so, when I broke my arm and had too much time to just look for entertainment.
I think of it as a place to find a smile, not so much a LOL.
Once you get past the emo bomb, as you call it, a smile will build in you inside from the warmth you will feel owing to the unexplainable love for that stranger's dog, even more than you did before you analized the pic.
BTW, it touched me too and I am fairly certain it's fake. Probably just an over heated dog has found a cooler place to relax for a minute, but that notion takes away from the thoughts that faith can instill.
-
Yeah, Twitter is full of fake, trying-to-make-you-feel-good photos like that. Some of them are good.
-
Not sure if this belongs here. I found their explanation of why black people are black, very funny. I laughed at the Mormons, not black people.
This animation sort of reminds me of the Christian films they made us watch at school, to reward us.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pgw-C_DTVo8
-
Hilarious, but they forgot a few.
Sorry for the oversize pic, Odeon, but legibility sometimes requires a larger size. Maybe I'm a wit sodden dizzy eyed canker blossom, I don't know.
-
I'll probably borrow a few for the discussion in another thread.
-
I'll probably borrow a few for the discussion in another thread.
Thou spleeny, rough-hewn pigeon-egg.
-
(https://uploads.disquscdn.com/images/6de946b2621ce27256d262bba836a74c77b99d9d0f7db0b240a571db785ac169.png)
-
http://ihasabucket.com/images/walrus_bucket.jpg
(File shows up too large in here, hence the link)
-
Sorry, I get a 403 Error.
"FORBIDDEN"
The site might not allow hot links to their servers.
If that is the problem, you can save an image to your machine and resize it using Irfanview, freeware for images. I use Irfanview a lot for web stuff.
https://www.irfanview.com/
If you try it, download the plugin pack, too. Lots of tools in that pack!
Paint does the same thing and you might already have that one.
-
:bigcry:
-
(https://tinypic.host/images/2023/03/05/77E2BDE7-F761-484A-A67E-162AF4EE8504.jpg)
-
YESSSSS!!!!!! IT FINALLY DID IT!!!!! :LOL:
-
:thumbup:
-
:poo:
-
:lol1:
-
:LOL:
-
:thumbup:
-
:orly:
-
:lol1:
-
:roar:
-
:yikes:
-
:zombiefuck:
-
:mischief:
-
Not funny, but awesome!
This guy built a Gnome House for his beagles. It is all very precise, nicely fit and well constructed, but EVERYTHING is crooked!
Well done!
-
+
(for the last several posts; I needed the laughs)
-
It makes you wonder what products today will get laughed at, many years in the future.
(https://th-thumbnailer.cdn-si-edu.com/K49yacf67JfZdrHFcX31sT4XnwQ=/fit-in/1072x0/https://tf-cmsv2-smithsonianmag-media.s3.amazonaws.com/filer/74/3d/743d9ca9-1e49-4a99-a61e-cd2f3fc7d9bd/lysoldouche2.jpeg)
-
Lysol disinfectant douching :zombiefuck:
-
:yikes:
-
:GA:
-
:tard:
I figure AliExpress deserves a token mention as well.
That kid running the show is like a twenty something billionaire with an attitude.
I have never bought from him, but I know many who have. Mostly satisfied.
I am looking at some of their upper grade cabling and wondering how they price it so far below the competitive market.
-
(emo)
-
:yawn:
For those who do not get this, many states here in the USA moved our clocks forward this week, due to the adaptation of Daylight Savings Time.
So now it is still dark at 8AM, where last week it was almost sun up at 7AM.
That also means we all who still toil at work a day jobs lost an hour of sleep on Sunday when the time change happened.
We be sad!
-
Biker guys kind of rule sometimes.
-
^I love that. :plus:
-
Yeah, me too!
Sorry, no gears for ya, but a chain for a frame?
-
"I think the vampires have it about right. Live in a castle, stay home and sleep all day, go out and party all night. And when social situations become awkward, explode into a thousand bats!"
-
"If you loan someone twenty bucks and you never see that person again, it was probably a good investment."
-
Just get in. I don't know what we're going to do yet, but it will be fun stuff.
-
Me wants!
-
:worship:
-
How many times have you wanted to do something like this with those damn things?
:lol1:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yHJOz_y9rZE&t=8s
-
... and he gets way more into it if have the time.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ph5OW9p-GHM
-
Holy cow.
-
My favorite "Welcome Mat" for all time.
"OK, You Read My Mat. That's All The Socializing I Want Right Now. Go Away."
-
My favorite "Welcome Mat" for all time.
"OK, You Read My Mat. That's All The Socializing I Want Right Now. Go Away."
I have this shirt
-
My favorite "Welcome Mat" for all time.
"OK, You Read My Mat. That's All The Socializing I Want Right Now. Go Away."
I have this shirt
:worship: :worship: :worship:
I would wear THAT!
:lol1:
... but really.
-
Holy cow.
Makes me wonder just how much time and effort he spent just finding which machines could be predicted to consistently make the tones he needed.
I love the orchestral chorus of a mountain of floppies! But to use the scanners etc. Genius.
BTW, as a retired audio engineer, I can tell you that any attempt at mic'ing that mess up would create a number of practicality problems.
-
It's awesome but most likely fake. IIRC, a single floppy might read differently from insert to insert, so the sounds would differ every time, and to hold the key to that extent is very unlikely. Still fun, just not likely.
But there's a circuit board next to those floppy drives, so maybe it's a matter of tweaking anyway. Not sure how that would work but I'd love to know.
-
Even if it's a completely computer sampled compilation, it still took some heroic doing to get this put together.
Love of the arts.
8)
-
Old joke, but still ...
-
:'(
-
:hitler:
-
:tard:
-
A little overdue ...
-
:asthing:
-
Heartstrings!!
-
:cbc:
-
Not sure if I put this here before. Odeon might like it.
(https://ecom-su-static-prod.wtrecom.com/images/products/11/LN_453068_BP_11.jpg)
-
A couple of years late for this one to feel current, but it still makes you wonder.
-
:GA:
-
:asthing:
-
:zoinks:
-
The Edison one made me laugh so hard, sugarbutt had to come see what all the fuss was about. :lol1:
-
:2thumbsup:
-
:orly:
-
:autism:
-
:dunno:
-
:headbang2:
-
:hahaha:
-
Seasonal effort.
-
Not so funny as just fun.
-
Well, ya know, some folks think things through.
-
Printers!?!
:dunno:
-
Got it!
-
:yikes:
-
Simple irony, but too funny to not share.
I was transferring some files this morning from a handful of overstuffed flash drives to a new external 4T backup drive for my sister-in-law when my machine stalled. It seems that her laptop is useless unless she is doing Facebook shit. Anyway, I was copying movies over for her new Roku Streamer to find.
My machine stalled on a series called "Jesus, His Life."
Taking into account that this is the day before Easter, signifying His resurrection from having been crucified, this makes sense that "His Life" might not be recognized.
I am guilty of blasphemy, but you gotta lighten up sometimes.
:lol1:
-
A mother was driving a little girl to her friend's house for a play date.
"Mommy?" the little girl asked. "How old are you?"
"Honey, you are not supposed to ask a lady her age," the mother replied. "It's not polite.."
"Okay", the little girl said. "How much do you weigh?"
"Now really!" the mother said. "Those are personal questions and are none of your business."
Undaunted, the little girl asked, "Why did you and daddy get a divorce?"
"That's enough questions, young lady. Honestly!"
The exasperated mother walked away as the two friends began to play.
"My mom won't tell me anything about herself," the little girl said to her friend.
"Well," said the friend, "all you need to do is look at her driver's license. It's like a report card, it has everything on it."
Later that night the little girl said to her mother, "I know how old you are. You're 32."
The mother was surprised and asked, "How did you find that out?"
"I also know that you weigh 140 pounds."
The mother was past surprised. She was shocked.
"How in heaven's name did you find that out?"
"And," the little girl said triumphantly, "I know why you and daddy got a divorce!"
"Really?" the mother asked. "Why?"
"Because you got an F in sex."
-
I know I already posted a version of this reference, but I like this one too.
-
:zombiefuck:
-
GET THE TRAP!
-
:CanofWorms:
TBH, when I was in the business of building large professional speakers (some forty years ago), the system I used for scaling and making the math more navagable, was metric, so, for the most part I'm with all of y'all!!
-
:dunno:
-
:2thumbsup:
-
If you answer the phone with, "HELLO You're on the air with WABC radio!" most telemarketers will just hang up immediately.
If it is a friendly call, they already know your antics, so no harm.
-
You gotta love dogs!!
-
You gotta love dogs!!
I do. They are better than people.
-
You gotta love dogs!!
I do. They are better than people.
... and they so pure of heart, they do not even know we are not as awesome as they think we are.
-
:thumbup:
-
:apondering:
-
:GA:
-
:dunno:
-
:viking:
-
:cbc:
I think of Gary and I.
-
:autism:
-
You gotta love dogs!!
I do. They are better than people.
... and they so pure of heart, they do not even know we are not as awesome as they think we are.
But I think we can be. It's something to strive for. Wouldn't that be a worthy goal? "Be as your dog knows you can be?"
I still wonder what I've done to deserve it. She keeps approving, so I guess I am not completely wrong. :)
-
:autism:
This is the necessary preparation for the dish washer. Altruistic to the core.
-
You gotta love dogs!!
I do. They are better than people.
... and they so pure of heart, they do not even know we are not as awesome as they think we are.
I love dogs, I grew up with them.
-
:cbc:
I think of Gary and I.
:lol1:
-
This won't really work for me. My dog is just too damn cute.
-
:orly:
-
:congrats:
-
:dunno:
-
:nerdy:
-
:o
-
:autism:
-
:apondering:
-
"I got gas today for $2.49! Unfortunately it was at Taco Bell."
-
:dunno:
-
:hahaha:
-
:lol1:
-
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oUX6Ol08JlQ
-
"A proud and confident genius makes a bet with an idiot.
The genius says, "Hey idiot, every question I ask you that you don't know the answer, you have to give me $5. And if you ask me a question and I can't answer yours I will give you $5,000."
The idiot says, "Okay."
The genius then asks, "How many continents are there in the world?" The idiot doesn't know and hands over the $5.
The idiot says, "Now me ask: what animal stands with two legs but sleeps with three?"
The genius tries and searches very hard for the answer but gives up and hands over the $5,000.
The genius says, "Dang it, I lost. By the way, what was the answer to your question?"
The idiot hands over $5."
-
It's not really a peeve so much as a saying that makes me feel like I am bleeding somewhere I'm not supposed to bleed.
People say "ton" all the time and I don't mind much. It's an effective exaggeration that makes the point.
I have a ton of paperwork before I can leave.
I vacuumed a ton of crap out of the carpet.
Maybe even: That took a ton of work.
But, please, No: That saved me a ton of time.
That gives me tons of ideas.
You know I love you tons.
Not sure, maybe it is the ton of understanding that abstract concepts do not have mass? I don't know, but some things should not be measured in tons.
Anyone else tripped up a little by this common usage?
:autism: :autism: :autism: :autism:
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I've never thought about it. I'm not sure how much I use it, so I searched here. I do say ton, but not extremely often, and I seem to like saying 'crap ton'. when quantifying exaggerated tons. :lol1:
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:headbang2:
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:orly:
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:autism:
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:zombiefuck:
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:thumbup:
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:thumbup:
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(emo)
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:headbang2:
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:hahaha:
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:bigcry:
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Existentialism CAN work for us.
"I yam what I yam and that's all what I yam"
Artist signed it. Not concerned about consequences of vandalism.
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:hahaha:
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Stealth rules.
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You know you're getting old ...
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:rofl:
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:dunno:
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:congrats:
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:laugh:
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:headhurts:
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One Star rating because they have no vegan food. Sounds like a win. I'd buy the tshirt.
:dunno:
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Poor doggie
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Scribes had it rough!
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:deadhorse2:
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Challenging, they said.
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Want to sound like an Irishman for a few seconds? Say this quickly:
Whale
Oil
Beef
Hooked
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::)
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:clap:
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:cbc:
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:dunno:
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Not so much a laugh at something, but an inspiration. I just hope it's not fake.
What if every restaurant in America had a board like this for those who need it or even those who just need another day of life.
Prepaid meals for those who need a hand up.
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:viking:
How you gonna hold the side mirror on your rat rod?
It's made from bolts.
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Can anyone else relate?
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:apondering:
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:MLA:
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:dunno:
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???
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I feel as if this might be a repeat, but worth repeating, possibly.
If you can relate, you might be getting old.
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It's sunspots, guys!
It has always been sunspots!
I am amazed at the newly available imagery.
These are availbe for view in super high resolutions. I'll try to post the site when I can.
Should have done so when I posted these pics.
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"If you're not getting a little peeved and frustrated while in traffic, then you are probably the one everybody else is mad at."
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:GA:
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:lol1:
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:popcorn:
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:thumbup:
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:apondering:
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:heisenberg:
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Two old cowboys talking over a nightcap ... (paraphrasing)
You know I don't really mind going bald so much. I mean it's better that the hair just kind of falls out. It would be worse if it got to really aching and you had to go have it pulled out like a bad tooth.
Larry McMurtry
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https://www.instagram.com/reel/CsWvoAOohJy/?utm_source=ig_web_button_share_sheet&fbclid=IwAR32aPlLssvhanawF7kBRSZ6JQaTAQj3Rna4HzqF44HfaiCXIMEI-AtWVm0
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:lol1:
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Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
Steven Wright
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Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
Steven Wright
QFT
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Lots of quasi patriotic stuff popping up with our celebration of Independence Day approaching.
Of course, this should not say, "USA" but rather "British Colonies." Some forget that this country was ALL British when this notion began, although fealty to The Crown was spotty.
:evillaugh:
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Maybe a year out of date, but still funny.
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Cute!
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Nothing like a little 2A brandishing to welcome visitors.
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I am a patriotic American! I do not need your permission.
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3DmtLhv4aUU
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dps1KifPMG0
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:orly:
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-1PnKp4-5Ng
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JkvgX6igcJE
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oUX6Ol08JlQ
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:laugh:
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Hilarious.
I actually only own one AR type weapon. A few other more useful semi-autos, but nothing crazy.
Most of my rifles are three or five shot bolt action, but all are scoped and accurate to minutes of angle at more than a hundred of yards out. Sure, I have a number of extremely high power sniper weapons if it comes to that.
I'd rather use them for long range game.
Oh, I'll be needing a bigger dog than our cute eight pound chiweenie who has all the dogs in the area, bullied from just sheer overload of personality. As much as I love him, I want a dog who can defend me from a bear, long enough to grab a rifle.
:lol1:
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Some more funny shit in honor of our several Walmart workers, of which my son is one, but he has yet to accomplish this feat ..
I notice they fuzzed out his Open Carry gun so he looks more or is it less American.
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Is Ol'Roy a dog food?
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Yes. A very common and about the cheapest kind of dry dog food you can get. Cheap due to low protein and high grain ratio.
It is mostly used by people who have several large dogs to feed.
For a small indoor pet, most people spend a little more and feed their dog a much higher protein content with no fillers and possibly a "low shit" formula.
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Back to the stupid funnies ...
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Spellking cain bea impourtunt!
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:zoinks:
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Are you getting this yet?
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WTF, Over?
:dunno:
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Yeah, exactly that.
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Yeah, exactly that.
I do not have any advanced education on the subject, but my fourth grade teacher who could not even pronounce "Gas, Liquid or Solid" very well due to her incredibly thick German/Mexican accent taught me that concept early on.
Almost every advancement in any of the many sciences begins with a question.
I still believe her!
:thumbup:
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4a1dmvQBEdI
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NNHGODYIfEE
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qx1tYVhs380
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I have a "friend" learning English, doing well and asked why I had had to say, "...had had."
It sparked a conversation. I ended up offering him this dilemma to sort out ...
"Does that that mean that that 'that' that that new kid used may not be that correct?"
:lol1:
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Yeah, exactly that.
I do not have any advanced education on the subject, but my fourth grade teacher who could not even pronounce "Gas, Liquid or Solid" very well due to her incredibly thick German/Mexican accent taught me that concept early on.
Almost every advancement in any of the many sciences begins with a question.
I still believe her!
:thumbup:
It's funny, though. More often than not, when science gets something wrong there's always some idiot shouting "so you don't know everything!" over the rooftops.
Case in point: the James Webb telescope has been feeding us new data for more than a year now. Some of that data might fundamentally change what we know about the early universe. For starters - not very likely, but still interesting - the universe might be almost twice as old as we thought.
To which the idiots reply: "so which is it? Make up your minds!"
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I found this goofy shit pic.
Old guy took a Martin neck, fused it with a moose antler, added Stratocaster electronics.
Another buddy from a music forum posted that he needed an antlifier to go with it. Fucking brilliant!!
:lol1:
Nothing more to add.
I would actually love to hear it play!!
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Yeah, exactly that.
I do not have any advanced education on the subject, but my fourth grade teacher who could not even pronounce "Gas, Liquid or Solid" very well due to her incredibly thick German/Mexican accent taught me that concept early on.
Almost every advancement in any of the many sciences begins with a question.
I still believe her!
:thumbup:
It's funny, though. More often than not, when science gets something wrong there's always some idiot shouting "so you don't know everything!" over the rooftops.
Case in point: the James Webb telescope has been feeding us new data for more than a year now. Some of that data might fundamentally change what we know about the early universe. For starters - not very likely, but still interesting - the universe might be almost twice as old as we thought.
To which the idiots reply: "so which is it? Make up your minds!"
I have a hard time looking away from the latest James Webb telescope data.
I'm sure you've seen the trail of stars left in the wake of a supermassive black hole "escaping" a failed conglomeration of three supermassives.
Even if the universe is not twice as old, even a few percent off still changes everything we think we know.
Fun stuff!
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AYADnQPfazE
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:beer:
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:headbang2:
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Always pay close attention to what your doctor is saying.
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:autism:
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:apondering:
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::)
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Yeah, exactly that.
I do not have any advanced education on the subject, but my fourth grade teacher who could not even pronounce "Gas, Liquid or Solid" very well due to her incredibly thick German/Mexican accent taught me that concept early on.
Almost every advancement in any of the many sciences begins with a question.
I still believe her!
:thumbup:
It's funny, though. More often than not, when science gets something wrong there's always some idiot shouting "so you don't know everything!" over the rooftops.
Case in point: the James Webb telescope has been feeding us new data for more than a year now. Some of that data might fundamentally change what we know about the early universe. For starters - not very likely, but still interesting - the universe might be almost twice as old as we thought.
To which the idiots reply: "so which is it? Make up your minds!"
I have a hard time looking away from the latest James Webb telescope data.
I'm sure you've seen the trail of stars left in the wake of a supermassive black hole "escaping" a failed conglomeration of three supermassives.
Even if the universe is not twice as old, even a few percent off still changes everything we think we know.
Fun stuff!
We've been handed a gift. We'll gather the data and try to understand what it means. There's going to be more.
Me, I don't know yet. I'm not following the data closely enough, and there's so much I don't know right now.
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Check out this from a binary system captured by the James Webb with all its many scanning wavelengths. Then of course the manual imaging manipulation to seperate smaller and smaller portions of what the telescope actually picked up.
I don't think it makes the image fake to use every tool in the box to seperate the many wavelengths emitted from these far off places.
That is how it is done. Doesn't make it a fake image, just because it had some corrections to the lens pick up.
Anyone ever seen the raw images of how those magnificiently detailed coral reefs look without color corrections. It's all gray!
You have to work it some to increase color contrast. It is not fake. It is our imaging capability that needs an upgrade.
James Webb has a lot of that built in and the ground crew has even more to work with. The data stream is fucking enormous!
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:autism:
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Check out this from a binary system captured by the James Webb with all its many scanning wavelengths. Then of course the manual imaging manipulation to seperate smaller and smaller portions of what the telescope actually picked up.
I don't think it makes the image fake to use every tool in the box to seperate the many wavelengths emitted from these far off places.
That is how it is done. Doesn't make it a fake image, just because it had some corrections to the lens pick up.
Anyone ever seen the raw images of how those magnificiently detailed coral reefs look without color corrections. It's all gray!
You have to work it some to increase color contrast. It is not fake. It is our imaging capability that needs an upgrade.
James Webb has a lot of that built in and the ground crew has even more to work with. The data stream is fucking enormous!
It's one of *the* most amazing Webb images to date, that one. Because when I first saw that image I thought "diffraction," probably the same as many others trained in the field. Except those are real. It's a binary star where the interaction of the two stars produce "waves" on the IR wavelengths.
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I have a "friend" learning English, doing well and asked why I had had to say, "...had had."
It sparked a conversation. I ended up offering him this dilemma to sort out ...
"Does that that mean that that 'that' that that new kid used may not be that correct?"
:lol1:
This one, btw, I would have returned to the writer to punctuate. There are constructs like it in every language I speak.
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I have a "friend" learning English, doing well and asked why I had had to say, "...had had."
It sparked a conversation. I ended up offering him this dilemma to sort out ...
"Does that that mean that that 'that' that that new kid used may not be that correct?"
:lol1:
This one, btw, I would have returned to the writer to punctuate. There are constructs like it in every language I speak.
That that was a part of the dilemma.
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Clever and a little funny looking.
What do you do with squash that's been on the vine too long?
:autism:
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At first I think, "NO WAY!"
Then, why the hell not?
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:thumbup:
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"When you see someone crying, ask them if it is because of that haircut.
Now they might come after you, but they will stop that infernal crying."
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(https://scontent.fdet1-2.fna.fbcdn.net/v/t39.30808-6/385069487_287482380814600_2535762094326602475_n.jpg?_nc_cat=104&ccb=1-7&_nc_sid=49d041&_nc_ohc=9LpQ-prELC0AX9eor9k&_nc_ht=scontent.fdet1-2.fna&oh=00_AfAcQ8lQfya4QB_VQ7JdMjQHaIEKSxe0KZ_cja3wW50HMg&oe=6521D40B)
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I made this (https://youtu.be/4FY3ZvCPi74?si=T3MJ-uzjQbMVJMDj)
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(https://scontent.fdet1-2.fna.fbcdn.net/v/t39.30808-6/381331537_225870043804455_2785878840199195790_n.jpg?_nc_cat=1&ccb=1-7&_nc_sid=49d041&_nc_ohc=VvMVuXmIJ58AX-TGGOX&_nc_ht=scontent.fdet1-2.fna&oh=00_AfDjnmccXAElJy-tcD7cZVrpSHoIIP3V8mwY_F42dRrQ4A&oe=652365B0)
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Tweety Bird turns sixty this year! That's some old bird!
"I taught I taw a ...
OH! I taught I taw ... Oh, hell, I don't know what te fut I taught I taw!"
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(https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/602855092193984513/1147874978033831946/FB_IMG_1693744818438.jpg?ex=652bdee1&is=651969e1&hm=fa6d27c1c0f8846f49ce1781680f9faaa11fa6471f75333669d23ac74a2290e6&)
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(https://scontent.fdet1-1.fna.fbcdn.net/v/t39.30808-6/385309850_285600381071950_7006943759802556239_n.jpg?_nc_cat=1&ccb=1-7&_nc_sid=4c1e7d&_nc_ohc=yJOqR_iCW48AX_4P_Rs&_nc_ht=scontent.fdet1-1.fna&oh=00_AfCmoAU6QFd35n2r8k-nDpPWBM74Z5Ra9gKbdj3RkU_7NQ&oe=65277A93)
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:yikes:
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"That image is actually an exhibit from a an art collective called Los Carpinteros.
The piece, titled "Aviao," which means "plane" was displayed at the Faena Art Center in Buenos Aires, Argentina, 2012."
It makes quite a statement!
To me it reads, GTFO!
Amish have been saying it for a couple of centuries, but more passively.
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:2thumbsup:
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Sorry for the size, but it felt like the right time for many of us, me especially.
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https://youtu.be/JbCXfvLaENE?si=ZNYokVu2n2GmVroG
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"That image is actually an exhibit from a an art collective called Los Carpinteros.
The piece, titled "Aviao," which means "plane" was displayed at the Faena Art Center in Buenos Aires, Argentina, 2012."
It makes quite a statement!
To me it reads, GTFO!
Amish have been saying it for a couple of centuries, but more passively.
I thought about that place in the Indian Ocean, me.
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:GA:
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^It's been like that for a while now.
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Why I'm no longer allowed in Massachusetts:
"Hey there stud, are you a doughnut cause I want some Boston cream"
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:hahaha:
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:LOL:
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:GA:
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:asthing:
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IDPzWskfer8
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GN8SeZ-T7rw
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S3Dkkcfe254
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JkvgX6igcJE
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:apondering:
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:asthing:
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At first I think, "NO!!"
Then I relax into a comfortable, "Why the fuck not!?!?"
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^Just don't open the door, heheh.
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A quote I got from facebook.
"How to politely tell someone they are stupid. "Wisdom has been chasing you, but you have always been faster." 8)
Read that in the voice of Uncle Iroh, from the animated Avatar; The last airbender series. :orly:
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:plus:
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:apondering:
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:lol1:
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YAWP from before you were born, kiddo!
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Bulletin boards, anyone? Or, for that matter, the Usenet?
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I remember.
Ten or twenty minutes to establish a connection? If you were lucky you could achieve DL speeds in the KBs, but not for long.
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The first time I encountered the net was the Usenet, back in 1985 or so. The uni was connected to Arpanet and there were a few Usenet groups available. We had a statistics course and the labs were done using Unix machines connected to the uni network.
I learned a few other skills as well, including Fortran programming and breaking into the Superuser account - which was NOT difficult.
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Sometimes the universal symbol language, does not prove to be universal.
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What a concept.
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:headhurts:
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:orly:
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:M
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"Studies show that 85% of women turn into good drivers.
Note to good drivers: watch out for turning women."
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:GA:
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:laugh:
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:lol1:
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:orly:
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:thumbup:
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Not really funny, but this brought me a smile.
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... again, not funny, but if you have an interest in steam powered locomotion, you might enjoy a watch.
Video from youTube - you're welcome.
Turn your sound on!
https://youtu.be/oaIhtUVI60A
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I don't care if it's real or not. It's funny.
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Enjoy.
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Got to clear this up early on.
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:headhurts:
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:GA:
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:apondering:
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:clap:
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:2thumbsup:
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Field hockey is more popular here but I have gone to an ice hockey game or two. It's a lot more violent watching them fight over the
Oreo puck.
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Field hockey is more popular here but I have gone to an ice hockey game or two. It's a lot more violent watching them fight over the Oreo puck.
I have tried to get into ice hockey for an additional winter sport (basketball is vomitory to me, not talking about a stadium entrance - it's just too easy for these modern day kickass players), but hockey is just too hard to follow.
I have done both ends of it, sitting as a fan and working as a commissioned photographer, trying to catch the "star" player making a show.
Absolutely no problem getting great shots of the star, once I knew who the top dog was; the one I was there to photograph. But as far as enjoying the game play ... ... not so much.
From what I have seen, most of the fans there are just waiting for a confrontation to carry beyond civility.
Where I grew up, it never froze and the local TV sports guys always produced a "make fun of hockey" segment and I shook my head. It looked like a fun thing.
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:2thumbsup:
A mock up image of the European Continent, from memory.
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:roar:
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"This is the way."
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:autism:
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:lol1:
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:headhurts:
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:cbc:
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Nope, this dog is Elton John in his dreams.
:headbang2:
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:lol1:
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Some people ...
:dunno:
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:nerdy:
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:headhurts:
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:autism:
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:hahaha:
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:apondering:
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You guys know I used to photograph portraits of beautiful women for a living.
This is not a laugh, but hopefully a smile.
I found this image a particularly striking combination of backlighting, model, setting, costuming, expression, dimensionality, etc, etc.
*bites down on thumb knuckle*
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^That is a very nice picture. :)
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:orly:
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:apondering:
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:yawn:
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:mischief:
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:2thumbsup:
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???
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:tard:
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:tinfoil:
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Have a neighbor you don't like much?
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:bigcry:
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:autism:
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^I love it! :lol1:
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:LOL:
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:LOL:
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:blah:
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:tard:
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???
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:o
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:heart:
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:2thumbsup:
8)