>A very elderly gentleman, (mid nineties) very well dressed, hair well
>groomed, great looking suit, flower in his lapel smelling slightly of a
>good after shave, presenting a well looked-after image, walks into an
>upscale cocktail lounge. Seated at the bar is an elderly looking lady, (mid
>eighties).
>
>The gentleman walks over, sits alongside of her, orders a drink, takes a
>sip, turns to her and says, "So tell me, do I come here often?"
>
>
> <><><><><><><>
>
>
>An elderly gentleman had serious hearing problems for a number of years.
>
>He went to the doctor and the doctor was able to have him fitted for a set
>of hearing aids that allowed the gentleman to hear 100%.
>
>The elderly gentleman went back in a month to the doctor and the doctor
>said, "Your hearing is perfect. Your family must be really pleased that you
>can hear again."
>
>The gentleman replied, "Oh, I haven't told my family yet. I just sit around
>and listen to the conversations. I've changed my will three times!"
>
>
>
> <><><><><><><> Two elderly gentlemen from a retirement
>center were sitting on a bench under a tree when one turns to the other
>and says: "Slim, I'm 83 years old now and I'm just full of aches and
>pains. I know you're about my age. How do you feel?"
>
>Slim says, "I feel just like a newborn baby." "Really!? Like a newborn
>baby!?" "Yep. No hair, no teeth, and I think I just wet my pants."
>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Keep Reading
>
>A senior citizen said to his eighty-year old buddy: "So I hear you're
>getting married?" "Yep!" "Do I know her?" "Nope!" "This woman, is she good
>looking?" "Not really." "Is she a good cook?" "Naw, she can't cook too
>well." "Does she have lots of money?" "Nope! Poor as a church mouse."
>"Well, then, is she good in bed?" "I don't know." "Why in the world do you
>want to marry her then?" "Because she can still drive!"
>
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>
>Three old guys are out walking. First one says, "Windy, isn't it?" Second
>one says,"No, it's Thursday!" Third one says, "So am I. Let's go get a
>beer."
>
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>
>A man was telling his neighbor, "I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost
>me four thousand dollars, but it's state of the art. It's perfect."
>"Really," answered the neighbor. "What kind is it?" "Twelve thirty."
>
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>
>Morris, an 82 year-old man, went to the doctor to get a physical. A few
>days later, the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a gorgeous
>young woman on his arm. A couple of days later, the doctor spoke to Morris
>and said, "You're really doing great, aren't you?"
>
>Morris replied, "Just doing what you said, Doc: 'Get a hot mamma and be
>cheerful." "The doctor said, "I didn't say that. I said, 'You've got a
>heart murmur; be careful."
>
>
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>
> and finally
>
>
>A little old man shuffled slowly into an ice cream parlor and pulled
>himself slowly, painfully, up onto a stool. After catching his breath, he
>ordered a banana split.
>
>The waitress asked kindly, "Crushed nuts?"
>
>"No," he replied, "arthritis."
