Okay, let's take your situation, but assume that
the male is somewhat inebriated, as well. In this
case, he's probably not fully in control of his faculties
either. It all becomes pretty damned tricky to judge.
Anyway, one thing which really bugs the crap out of
me, is that this kind of behavior is treated pretty much
the same as a violent rape, by some people. There is
a world of difference. I'm not sure that the penalty
should necessarily differ, but date-rape seems likely
to be a matter of sexual pressuring, whilst what I
would call rape proper is more of an act of pure
violence.