Author Topic: make someone laugh  (Read 138317 times)

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duncvis

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #285 on: December 05, 2006, 03:14:00 PM »
This made my day. The missile was a bottle of piss, apparently...  :evillaugh:


Offline Nomaken

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #286 on: December 05, 2006, 03:25:13 PM »
Why do you want the lead singer to get hit with a bottle of piss?
And as always, these are simply my worthless opinions.
Reverence is fine, Sanctity is silly.
We're all fucked, it helps to remember that.

duncvis

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #287 on: December 05, 2006, 03:26:19 PM »
Read the clip title again.  :evillaugh:

Offline Nomaken

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #288 on: December 05, 2006, 03:30:52 PM »
Is getting bottled some expression in the UK that I am not familiar with?
And as always, these are simply my worthless opinions.
Reverence is fine, Sanctity is silly.
We're all fucked, it helps to remember that.

ozymandias

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #289 on: December 05, 2006, 03:34:08 PM »
Some nursing humor that may be of general interest:

Did you hear about the nurse who died and went to hell?
It took her two weeks to realize that she wasn't at work anymore!

You know your a nurse if.....You believe that every patient needs TLC, Thorazine, Lorazepam and Compazine.

You would like to meet the inventor of the call light in a dark alley one night!

Eating popcorn out of a clean bedpan is perfectly natural.

You find ourself checking out other customer's arm veins in grocery waiting lines.  (yes I do that)

You believe not all patients are annoying...some are unconscious.

Almost everything can seem humorous............ eventually!

You notice that you use more four letter words now than before you became a nurse!

Your bladder can expand to the same size as a Winnebago's water tank!



**In case you were wondering, how a nurse keeps their sanity!** :P

duncvis

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #290 on: December 05, 2006, 03:35:01 PM »
Is getting bottled some expression in the UK that I am not familiar with?

No. You don't find the lead emo getting floored by a bottle of piss hilarious I take it?

Offline Leto729

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #291 on: December 05, 2006, 03:35:54 PM »
Kitty
Guardian of the Empire

Offline DirtDawg

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #292 on: December 05, 2006, 03:38:45 PM »
This made my day. The missile was a bottle of piss, apparently...  :evillaugh:



Done those kind of gigs, before ... but what's the deal?

It looked like it hit him on the shoulder. Is he that much of a puss? .. or is that simply an emo demonstration? He was so devastated psychologically by the symbolic rejection that he couldn't even stand?

Sorry, but this is just stupid to me, but then I've worked with several guitar players who had multiple sets of teeth marks gouged into their guitar heads from defending themselves. We accused one guy of "taking scalps", because he smacked a guy once and came back with about a half inch diameter wad of oily hair stuck between his strings.
« Last Edit: December 05, 2006, 03:43:24 PM by DirtDawg »
Jimi Hendrix: When the power of love overcomes the love of power the world will know peace. 

Ghandi: Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.

The end result of life's daily pain and suffering, trials and failures, tears and laughter, readings and listenings is an accumulation of wisdom in its purest form.

duncvis

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #293 on: December 05, 2006, 03:45:20 PM »
He's a total emo pussy, and Panic! At The Disco are one of the lamest things ever to happen to music. Does that answer your question?  >:D

Offline Nomaken

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #294 on: December 05, 2006, 03:52:15 PM »
I like some of their songs.  I don't know who the artists are, or anything about them, but it seems kind of mean to embarass them in front of a huge audience.
And as always, these are simply my worthless opinions.
Reverence is fine, Sanctity is silly.
We're all fucked, it helps to remember that.

Offline DirtDawg

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #295 on: December 05, 2006, 03:53:55 PM »
He's a total emo pussy, and Panic! At The Disco are one of the lamest things ever to happen to music. Does that answer your question?  >:D
Yes, but is there a request line?

Can I get other things thrown at other worthless acts on demand?

 :eyebrows:
Jimi Hendrix: When the power of love overcomes the love of power the world will know peace. 

Ghandi: Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.

The end result of life's daily pain and suffering, trials and failures, tears and laughter, readings and listenings is an accumulation of wisdom in its purest form.

duncvis

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #296 on: December 05, 2006, 03:56:08 PM »
I never pretended to be nice. I have a mental list of twats 'artists' I'd like to see bombed with piss, and if I had been able to afford a ticket I'd have added my piss grenades to those fired at Travis at Leeds festival a few years back.  :green:

Offline Nomaken

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #297 on: December 05, 2006, 04:23:52 PM »
I don't really pay attention to the artists.  I like the songs, but I couldn't remember the names of the artists if my life depended on it, and it'd be like russian roulet remembering the band names.  Besides that fact, i am generally inclined to be kind.
And as always, these are simply my worthless opinions.
Reverence is fine, Sanctity is silly.
We're all fucked, it helps to remember that.

Offline DirtDawg

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #298 on: December 05, 2006, 09:00:08 PM »
This is cute, pappy, sappy, sugary, emo, and not really funny, but it just struck me as a little overlooked, even though the message is so obvious.


 Installing the Love Program

 

Technician: Yes, Ma'am, how can I  help you today?

User:
Well, after much consideration, I've decided to install LOVE.  Can you guide me through the process?

Technician: Yes, I can help you.  Are you ready to proceed?

User: Well, I'm not very technical, but I think I'm ready to install now.  What do I do first?

Technician:
The first step is to open your HEART.  Have you located your HEART ma'am?

User:
Yes I have, but there are several other programs running right now.  Is it okay to install  while they are running?

Technician:
What programs are running ma'am?

User: Let's see, I have PAST-HURT.EXE,  LOW-ESTEEM.EXE, GRUDGE.EXE, and RESENTMENT.COM
running right now.

Technician: No problem.  LOVE will gradually erase PAST HURT.EXE from your current operating system. It may remain in your permanent memory, but it will no longer disrupt other programs.  LOVE will eventually overwrite LOW-ESTEEM.EXE with a module of its own called HIGH-ESTEEM.EXE. However, you have to completely turn off GRUDGE.EXE and RESENTMENT.COM.  Those programs prevent LOVE from being properly installed.  Can you turn those off ma'am?
 
User: I don't know how to turn them off.  Can you tell me how?

Technician: My pleasure.  Go to your Start menu and invoke FORGIVENESS.EXE.  Do this as many times as necessary until GRUDGE.EXE and RESENTMENT.COM have been completely erased.

User: Okay, done.  LOVE has started installing itself automatically.  Is that normal?

Technician: Yes.  You should receive a message that says it will reinstall for the life of your HEART. Do you see that message?

User: Yes I do.  Is it completely installed?

Technician: Yes, but remember that you have only the base program.  You need to begin connecting to other HEART's in order to get the upgrades.

User: Oops.  I have an error message already.  What should I do?

Technician: What does the message say?

User: It says "ERROR 412 - PROGRAM NOT RUN ON INTERNAL COMPONENTS.  What does that mean?"

Technician: Don't worry ma'am, that's a common problem.  It means that the LOVE program is set up  to run on external HEARTS but has not yet been run on your HEART.  It is one of those complicated programming things, but in nontechnical terms it means you have to "LOVE" your own machine before it can "LOVE" others.

User: So what should I do?

Technician: Can you pull down the directory called "SELF-ACCEPTANCE"?

User: Yes, I have it.

Technician: Excellent.  You're getting good at this.

User: Thank you.

Technician: You're welcome.  Click on the following files and then copy them to the "MY HEART"  directory: FORGIVE-SELF.DOC, REALIZE-WORTH.TXT, and ACKNOWLEDGE-LIMITATIONS.DOC.  The system will overwrite any conflicting files and begin patching any faulty programming.  Also, you need to delete VERBOSE-SELF-CRITIC.EXE from all directories, and  then empty our recycle bin afterwards to make sure it is completely gone and never comes back.

User:
Got it.  Hey!  My HEART is filling up with new files.  SMILE.MPG is playing on my monitor right now and it shows that PEACE.EXE, and CONTENTMENT.COM are copying themselves all over my HEART.  Is this normal?

Technician:
Sometimes.  For others it takes a while,  but eventually everything gets downloaded at the proper time.  So, LOVE is installed and running.  You should be able to handle it from here. One more thing before I go.

User: Yes?

Technician:
LOVE is freeware.  Be sure to give it and its various modules to everybody you meet. They will in turn share it with other people and they will return some similarly cool modules back to you.

User: I will.  Thanks for your help. 
Jimi Hendrix: When the power of love overcomes the love of power the world will know peace. 

Ghandi: Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.

The end result of life's daily pain and suffering, trials and failures, tears and laughter, readings and listenings is an accumulation of wisdom in its purest form.

Offline El

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #299 on: December 06, 2006, 02:43:05 PM »
This is cute, pappy, sappy, sugary, emo, and not really funny, but it just struck me as a little overlooked, even though the message is so obvious.


 Installing the Love Program

 

Technician: Yes, Ma'am, how can I  help you today?

User:
Well, after much consideration, I've decided to install LOVE.  Can you guide me through the process?

Technician: Yes, I can help you.  Are you ready to proceed?

User: Well, I'm not very technical, but I think I'm ready to install now.  What do I do first?

Technician:
The first step is to open your HEART.  Have you located your HEART ma'am?

User:
Yes I have, but there are several other programs running right now.  Is it okay to install  while they are running?

Technician:
What programs are running ma'am?

User: Let's see, I have PAST-HURT.EXE,  LOW-ESTEEM.EXE, GRUDGE.EXE, and RESENTMENT.COM
running right now.

Technician: No problem.  LOVE will gradually erase PAST HURT.EXE from your current operating system. It may remain in your permanent memory, but it will no longer disrupt other programs.  LOVE will eventually overwrite LOW-ESTEEM.EXE with a module of its own called HIGH-ESTEEM.EXE. However, you have to completely turn off GRUDGE.EXE and RESENTMENT.COM.  Those programs prevent LOVE from being properly installed.  Can you turn those off ma'am?
 
User: I don't know how to turn them off.  Can you tell me how?

Technician: My pleasure.  Go to your Start menu and invoke FORGIVENESS.EXE.  Do this as many times as necessary until GRUDGE.EXE and RESENTMENT.COM have been completely erased.

User: Okay, done.  LOVE has started installing itself automatically.  Is that normal?

Technician: Yes.  You should receive a message that says it will reinstall for the life of your HEART. Do you see that message?

User: Yes I do.  Is it completely installed?

Technician: Yes, but remember that you have only the base program.  You need to begin connecting to other HEART's in order to get the upgrades.

User: Oops.  I have an error message already.  What should I do?

Technician: What does the message say?

User: It says "ERROR 412 - PROGRAM NOT RUN ON INTERNAL COMPONENTS.  What does that mean?"

Technician: Don't worry ma'am, that's a common problem.  It means that the LOVE program is set up  to run on external HEARTS but has not yet been run on your HEART.  It is one of those complicated programming things, but in nontechnical terms it means you have to "LOVE" your own machine before it can "LOVE" others.

User: So what should I do?

Technician: Can you pull down the directory called "SELF-ACCEPTANCE"?

User: Yes, I have it.

Technician: Excellent.  You're getting good at this.

User: Thank you.

Technician: You're welcome.  Click on the following files and then copy them to the "MY HEART"  directory: FORGIVE-SELF.DOC, REALIZE-WORTH.TXT, and ACKNOWLEDGE-LIMITATIONS.DOC.  The system will overwrite any conflicting files and begin patching any faulty programming.  Also, you need to delete VERBOSE-SELF-CRITIC.EXE from all directories, and  then empty our recycle bin afterwards to make sure it is completely gone and never comes back.

User:
Got it.  Hey!  My HEART is filling up with new files.  SMILE.MPG is playing on my monitor right now and it shows that PEACE.EXE, and CONTENTMENT.COM are copying themselves all over my HEART.  Is this normal?

Technician:
Sometimes.  For others it takes a while,  but eventually everything gets downloaded at the proper time.  So, LOVE is installed and running.  You should be able to handle it from here. One more thing before I go.

User: Yes?

Technician:
LOVE is freeware.  Be sure to give it and its various modules to everybody you meet. They will in turn share it with other people and they will return some similarly cool modules back to you.

User: I will.  Thanks for your help. 

That actually cheered me up a bit.  (Close to home)
it is well known that PMS Elle is evil.
I think you'd fit in a 12" or at least a 16" firework mortar
You win this thread because that's most unsettling to even think about.