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Author Topic: make someone laugh  (Read 138297 times)

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Binty

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #6405 on: September 14, 2011, 02:02:35 PM »

Osensitive1

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #6406 on: September 14, 2011, 03:36:51 PM »

eris

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #6407 on: September 15, 2011, 02:11:20 AM »
This is so fucking funny, OMG. It is my new favorite video of all time.



"why you kill porky pig and not invite his cousin to the funeral, you bitch ass birds"







!

The_Chosen_One

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #6408 on: September 15, 2011, 08:10:56 PM »
This is so fucking funny, OMG. It is my new favorite video of all time.



"why you kill porky pig and not invite his cousin to the funeral, you bitch ass birds"







!

Maybe if he had some coke he could play the game better, because we all know that "flings go better with Coke".

Offline Squidusa

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #6409 on: September 21, 2011, 08:00:15 AM »
I'll just diagnose myself as Goddess of the Universe and have done with it. Hell with autism!  :green: :zoinks:

nice is just something written on biscuits.  

Offline skyblue1

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #6410 on: September 21, 2011, 07:10:18 PM »


Binty

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #6411 on: September 22, 2011, 12:07:24 PM »

Offline Squidusa

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #6412 on: September 22, 2011, 02:32:40 PM »
I'll just diagnose myself as Goddess of the Universe and have done with it. Hell with autism!  :green: :zoinks:

nice is just something written on biscuits.  

Offline PuppetSockPenguin

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Offline Queen Victoria

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #6414 on: September 28, 2011, 04:13:55 PM »
A family is at the dinner table. The son asks his father, 'Dad, how many kinds of boobs are there?' The father, surprised, answers, 'Well, son, a woman goes through three phases. In her 20s her boobs are like melons, round & firm. In her 30s to 40s, they are like pears, still nice but hanging a bit. ... After 50, they are like onions'. 'Onions?' 'Yes,...... you see them and they make you cry.'

This infuriated his wife and daughter, so the daughter said, 'Mom, how many kinds of 'willies' are there?' The mother smiles and answers, 'Well dear, a man goes through three phases also. In his 20s his willy is like an oak tree, mighty and hard. In his 30s and 40s, it is like a birch, flexible but reliable. After his 50s, it is like a Christmas tree'. 'A Christmas tree?' 'Yes --- dead from the root up and the balls are just for decoration.
A good monarch is a treasure. A good politician is an oxymoron.

My brain is both uninhibited and uninhabited.

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Offline Queen Victoria

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #6415 on: September 28, 2011, 04:15:56 PM »
Do you fart in bed?
If this story doesnt make you cry for laughing so hard, Let me know and Ill pray for you.

This is a story about a couple who had been happily married for years. The only friction in their marriage was the husbands habit of farting loudly every morning when he awoke. The noise would wake his wife and the smell would make her eyes water and make her gasp for air. Every morning s...he would plead with him to stop ripping them off because it was making her sick. He told her he couldnt stop it and that it was perfectly natural. She told him to see a doctor, She was concerned that one day he would blow his guts out. The years went by and he continued to rip them out.

Then one christmas day morning, as she was preparing the turkey for dinner and he was upstairs sound alseep, She looked at the innards, neck, gizzard, liver and all the spare parts, and a malicious thought came to her. She took the bowl and went upstairs where her husband was sound alseep and gently pulling the bed covers back, She pulled back the elastic waistband of his underpants and emptied the bowl of turkey guts into his shorts. Some time later she heard her husband waken with his usual trumpeting which was followed by a blood curdling scream and the sound of frantic foot steps as he ran into the bathroom. The wife could hardly control herself as she rolled on the floor laughing, Tears in her eyes! After years of torture she reckoned she had got him pretty good.

About twenty minutes later, her husband came downstairs in his bloodstained underpants with a look of horror on his face. She bit her lip as she asked him what was the matter. He said, "Honey you were right, All these years you have warned me and I didnt listen to you". What do you mean? asked his wife. "Well, you always told me that one day I would end up farting my guts out, and today it finally happened. But by the grace of God, Some vaseline and two fingers, I think I got most of them back in!!!....
A good monarch is a treasure. A good politician is an oxymoron.

My brain is both uninhibited and uninhabited.

:qv:

Offline Queen Victoria

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #6416 on: September 28, 2011, 04:17:25 PM »
Three women go down to Mexico one night to celebrate college graduation, get drunk, and wake up in jail, only to find that they are to be executed in the morning, though none of them can remember what they did the night before.

The first one, a redhead, is strapped in the electric chair and is asked if she has any last words. She says, "I just graduated from Trinity Bible College and believe in the almighty power of God to intervene on the behalf of the innocent." They throw the switch and nothing happens. They all immediately fall to the floor on their knees, beg for forgiveness, and release her. 

The second one, a brunette, is strapped in and gives her last words. "I just graduated from the University of Kentucky School of Law and I believe in the power of Justice to intervene on the behalf of the innocent." They throw the switch and again, nothing happens. Again, they all immediately fall to their knees, beg for forgiveness and release her.

The last one (you know it), a blonde, is strapped in and says, "Well, I'm from "University of Louisville" and just graduated with a degree in Electrical Engineering, and I'll tell ya right now, ya'll ain't gonna electrocute nobody if you don't plug this thing in!

A good monarch is a treasure. A good politician is an oxymoron.

My brain is both uninhibited and uninhabited.

:qv:

eris

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #6417 on: September 29, 2011, 02:13:52 AM »
HAHAHAHAHA

HAHAHAHA

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA


Offline ProfessorFarnsworth

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #6418 on: September 29, 2011, 02:17:37 AM »


lol, it sums up how bullshit over-interpreting literature can be.
Existence actually has two broad meanings despite its apparent meaningless. The constant reconciliation of all its parts, and the conservation of any closed system as a whole.

Morality can be extrapolated from these meanings to make these two commandments of godless morality: 1). Be in harmony with one another and 2). Care for the environment.

Offline earthboundmisfit

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #6419 on: September 30, 2011, 03:10:15 PM »