Author Topic: make someone laugh  (Read 138364 times)

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purposefulinsanity

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #870 on: June 06, 2007, 09:50:31 AM »
"As a math atheist, I should be excused from this."

:LMAO:    :plus:  (or more accurately -1 to keep you at 420).

Offline Randy

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #871 on: June 06, 2007, 10:21:21 AM »
You know you got shit when you got shit, right?
How about when you live with a bipolar and she is bipolar?

     My own mom had me pic out sunglasses, and I am the retard with no taste, so why ask me?  I picked a good pair, as my brother agreed, and last time she tried on her own she did bad.  That was nothing on till I reflected on what it meant later.  At my grandmothers she made comments about flowers and cum with me being the only man in the room.  She also made a comment when I came home all sweaty from the gym a while back.  There was another time she said something about me be having a"nice body." 
     Risky sexual behavior is a symptom of bipolar disorder, and fucking your son is risky, not to mention me not  allowing it.  The sunglasses made me think it was a, what would turn me on the most bit?,  for one who resmebles his dad.  She said in the car "Your father is old but he is one of the most nice looking man I have ever seen."  "All Men suck"  She sees I act much better than my dad, and that coupled with bipolar symptoms makes me think that nasty fuck your son thought crossed her mind. The something about a lesbian comment with her bisxeual friend, Christi.  I know that was a joke but not so sure about the other things.  I don't trust her and that unstable mood, so maybe its me and not her.  She tires to bother me when she is in a bad mood, and I get hyped up before she opens her mouth when she is in mania.  That right there is my psychic gift that kicks in when something is really stressful.  Maybe I do have such a gift maybe not, but the thought is scary. 

Now do the appropiate AS thing, and laugh inappropiately! >:D
Biggest bullshitter on the web, the person who is says that is a jealous wanker who needs some personal devolpement.

Spread your legs woman!

Offline Calandale

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #872 on: June 06, 2007, 11:06:02 AM »
"As a math atheist, I should be excused from this."

:LMAO:    :plus:  (or more accurately -1 to keep you at 420).

I'm being foiled in all directions. I have to figure out
a new angle of attack (or a different angel)

Offline El

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #873 on: June 06, 2007, 01:32:32 PM »
"As a math atheist, I should be excused from this."

:LMAO:    :plus:  (or more accurately -1 to keep you at 420).

I'm being foiled in all directions. I have to figure out
a new angle of attack (or a different angel)

You better follow through on that.  Don't just dangle a newfangled angel angle in front of our noses!
it is well known that PMS Elle is evil.
I think you'd fit in a 12" or at least a 16" firework mortar
You win this thread because that's most unsettling to even think about.

Offline Lucifer

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #874 on: June 06, 2007, 02:26:38 PM »
this on'es for you, PMS:


Offline El

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #875 on: June 06, 2007, 03:24:54 PM »
RRREEOOOOOWWW!!!!
it is well known that PMS Elle is evil.
I think you'd fit in a 12" or at least a 16" firework mortar
You win this thread because that's most unsettling to even think about.

Offline Coral

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #876 on: June 06, 2007, 04:02:04 PM »
Try this one: 
Alldayglowrandy turned out to be the bravest guy ever & my hero. A warrior until the end may he finally have peace

Offline Coral

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #877 on: June 06, 2007, 04:03:27 PM »
I love to laugh... this one is one of my personal favorites.  The most true things are always the funniest!  ;D
Alldayglowrandy turned out to be the bravest guy ever & my hero. A warrior until the end may he finally have peace

Offline Coral

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #878 on: June 06, 2007, 04:17:09 PM »
1 more... 
Alldayglowrandy turned out to be the bravest guy ever & my hero. A warrior until the end may he finally have peace

Offline El

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #879 on: June 06, 2007, 04:22:57 PM »
+ for the last.
it is well known that PMS Elle is evil.
I think you'd fit in a 12" or at least a 16" firework mortar
You win this thread because that's most unsettling to even think about.

Offline odeon

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #880 on: June 06, 2007, 04:25:47 PM »
:LMAO:  :plus:
"Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former."

- Albert Einstein

Offline DirtDawg

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #881 on: June 06, 2007, 06:15:55 PM »
 :plus:
Jimi Hendrix: When the power of love overcomes the love of power the world will know peace. 

Ghandi: Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.

The end result of life's daily pain and suffering, trials and failures, tears and laughter, readings and listenings is an accumulation of wisdom in its purest form.

Offline Calandale

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #882 on: June 06, 2007, 08:36:37 PM »
"As a math atheist, I should be excused from this."

:LMAO:    :plus:  (or more accurately -1 to keep you at 420).

I'm being foiled in all directions. I have to figure out
a new angle of attack (or a different angel)

You better follow through on that.  Don't just dangle a newfangled angel angle in front of our noses!

Or what? Will you hurt me?



You should know I'm a tease anyhow.

Offline El

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #883 on: June 07, 2007, 09:11:12 AM »
SHEEP DOG BRA
The success of the "Wonder Bra" for under-endowed women, has encouraged the designers to come out with a bra for over-endowed women. It's called the "Sheep Dog Bra." It rounds them up and points them in the right direction.

TALENTED FROG
A woman went into a store to buy her husband a pet for his birthday. After looking around, she found that all the pets were very expensive. She told the clerk she wanted to buy a pet, but she didn't want to spend a fortune. "Well," said the clerk, "I have a very large bullfrog. They say it's been trained to perform oral sex!" "Really?" the woman replied. "It hasn't been proved but we've sold 30 of them this month," he said. The woman thought it would be a great gag gift for her husband, and if it were true, she'd be able to avoid performing that burdensome act for her husband. She bought the frog. When she explained the frog's alleged ability to her husband, he was extremely skeptical and laughed it off. The woman went to bed happy, thinking she may never need to perform this unappealing act again. In the middle of the night, she was awakened by the noise of pots and pans flying everywhere, making banging and crashing sounds. She ran downstairs to the kitchen, only to find her husband and the frog reading cookbooks. "What are you two doing at this hour?" she asked. The husband replied, "If I can teach this frog to cook, your ass is gone."

FROG JOKE II
A beautiful, well endowed, young blonde, goes to her local pet store in search of an exotic pet. As she looks about the store, she notices a box full of frogs. The sign says, "Sex frogs! Only $20 each! Money back guarantee! Comes with complete instructions." The girl excitedly looks around to see if anybody's watching her and whispers softly to the man behind the counter, "I'll take one." The man packaged the frog and said, "Just follow the instructions carefully." The girl nods, grabs the box, and is quickly on her way home. As soon as she closes the door to her apartment, the girl takes out the instructions and reads them thoroughly, doing exactly what it says to do: 1. Take a shower. 2. Splash on some nice smelling perfume. 3. Slip into a very sexy teddy. 4. Crawl into bed and position the frog in place. She then quickly gets into bed with the frog and, to her surprise, nothing happens. The girl is totally frustrated and quite upset at this point. She re-reads the instructions and notices at the bottom of the paper it says, "If you have any problems or questions, please call the pet store." So, the girl calls the pet store. The man says, "I had some complaints earlier today. I'll be right over." Within five minutes, the man is ringing her doorbell. The girl welcomes him in and says, "See, I've done everything according to the instructions and the damn thing just sits there." The man, looking very concerned, picks up the frog, stares directly into its eyes and sternly says, "Listen to me! I'm only going to show you how to do this one more time!"

BAR ENCOUNTER
A guy sees a gal in a bar. Walking up behind her he says, "Hi there, good looking! How's it going?" Having already downed a few power drinks, she turns around, faces him, looks him straight in the eye, and says, "Listen up, buddy. I screw anybody, any time, anywhere, your place, my place, in the car, front door, back door, on the ground, standing up, sitting down, naked or with clothes on, dirty, clean, it just doesn't matter to me. I've been doing it ever since I got out of college and I just flat-ass love it." Eyes now wide with interest, he responds, "No kidding? I'm a lawyer, too! What firm are you with?"

LOST POWER
Q: How did the electrician lose all the power in his home?
A: He got married.

MALE ORGAN
According to a new book, 50 women were asked what they'd do if they had a male sex organ for one day. Most said, "Probably get a salary increase."

HEALTH VIOLATION
A man orders a hot dog with relish from a street vendor. The vendor grabs the dog with his bare hands and puts it on a bun. He then applies the relish with his fingers. The man pulls out a badge and says, "I'm the health inspector and I'm shutting you down!" The vendor pleads with the inspector and promises to clean up his act. The inspector agrees, but warns he'll be stopping by unannounced another time. A month later, the inspector returns and orders a hot dog with relish. The vendor carefully grabs the dog with a pair of tongs and uses another pair to put on the relish. "You've passed," the inspector says before noticing a string hanging out of the vendor's zipper. "Wait!" he says. "What's that for?" "The vendor replies, "I'm so clean that when I go to the bathroom, I don't even touch myself. I pull it out with the string." "And how do you get it back in your pants?" the inspector asks. "Easy," says the vendor. "I use the tongs."

WICKER BOX
Q: What is the definition of wicker box?
A: It's what Elmer Fudd wants to do to Britney Spears.

SKINNY GIRL
Did you hear the one about the girl who was extremely skinny? She had to tease her hair just to keep her pants up.

ONE ON TOP
Little Tony was staying with his grandmother for a few days. He'd been playing outside with the other kids for a while when he came into the house and asked her, "Grandma, what is that called when two people are sleeping in the same room and one is on top of the other?" She was a little taken aback, but decided to tell him the truth. "It's called sexual intercourse, darling." Little Tony just said, "Oh, O.K." He went back outside to talk and play with the other kids. A few minutes later he came back in and said angrily, "Grandma, it is not called sexual intercourse! It's called bunk beds! And Jimmy's mom wants to talk to you!"
it is well known that PMS Elle is evil.
I think you'd fit in a 12" or at least a 16" firework mortar
You win this thread because that's most unsettling to even think about.

Offline vodz

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #884 on: June 07, 2007, 09:24:15 AM »
What comes in litres?

Elephants
This brain could do with some more dimethyltryptamine.

What is the difference between ignorance and apathy? "I don't know and I don't care."