INTENSITY²
Start here => What's your crime? Basic Discussion => Topic started by: peegai on June 03, 2006, 02:04:53 PM
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So go ahead and ask what your problem is to auntie Vivi, and I'm sure she will help you. :|
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PMSL!
oh, this could be fun.
hope no-one's expecting real agony aunt-ness, though. (PM me, if you are).
pee, you're a star. have an applaud.
disclaimer: for those who haven't read the thread, i said i'd like to be an anti-agony aunt, so i could tell people what their problems really are, i.e., be thoroughly horrible and obnoxious to losers, whiners, up-their-own-arse wankers, and those who won't take responsibility. oh, and david blaine, cos he's a fucking arse.
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i accuse you of plagiarism (http://aspie18.myfreeforum.org/ftopic28.php)! :laugh:
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i accuse you of plagiarism (http://aspie18.myfreeforum.org/ftopic28.php)! :laugh:
You can tell Auntie Vivi all about it.
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LOL.
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i wondered where aspie18 got to...
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So I have a freind who's worried tat her boyfriend is going deaf. He sometimes asks her the same question 20-50 times in a row before he hears it. Can you reccommend a good doctor for him?
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i accuse you of plagiarism (http://aspie18.myfreeforum.org/ftopic28.php)!? :laugh:
How about anti antagonist aunt, then?
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So I have a freind who's worried tat her boyfriend is going deaf.? He sometimes asks her the same question 20-50 times in a row before he hears it.? Can you reccommend a good doctor for him?
:laugh: :laugh: :laugh:
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Lucifer did you ever give a child away, because i think maybe im your long lost daughter ;)
judging by the disclaimer ;D
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So I have a freind who's worried tat her boyfriend is going deaf. He sometimes asks her the same question 20-50 times in a row before he hears it. Can you reccommend a good doctor for him?
i dunno about a good doctor, but i do know that a good ding round the affected ear, and yelling "are you listening to me, you stupid arsewipe?!!!" is a reasonably effective cure. repeat as necessary. of course, if you're into homeopathy, just a slight knitting needle through the eardrum works wonders.
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Lucifer did you ever give a child away, because i think maybe im your long lost daughter ;)
judging by the disclaimer ;D
yes. i remember suckling you, quite clearly, as though it were yesterday. i had to foster you out, though, cos you were born with teeth - well, what else do you expect from the result of an diabolic couping during a witchy orgy? oh, and satan's a crap shag - don't go there. anyway, we wanted to see whether the old "nature vs nurture" thing was true. obviously, your genes will out, though.
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Dear Auntie,
I hate winter, it's too damn cold. What can I do? :(
PS I just had a really long boring dream about waiting in a queue. Please help.
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Wait a sec, is this your blog? http://www.auntyagony.net/ :o
On second thoughts, I don't want any advice!
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Dear Auntie,
I hate winter, it's too damn cold. What can I do? :(
PS I just had a really long boring dream about waiting in a queue. Please help.
1. put a fucking jumper on, you wimp.
2. i'm sorry - you seem to have mistaken me for someone who gives a fuck. take some hallucinogenics, then you'll either have less boring dreams, or you'll have a really bad trip and end up in a loony bin, thus preserving the rest of us from your dreary whinings.
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Wait a sec, is this your blog? http://www.auntyagony.net/ :o
On second thoughts, I don't want any advice!
nowt to do with me. far too pedestrian and predictable.
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Wait a sec, is this your blog? http://www.auntyagony.net/? :o
On second thoughts, I don't want any advice!
"spankologist"? where the fuck does one go to get a qualification in spankology?!!
i must say that, from that link, i particularly liked Serissa's Punishment Diary, here: http://sierra-salem.livejournal.com/
oh no, oops, that's Sierra's Punishment Diary. :-[
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Wait a sec, is this your blog? http://www.auntyagony.net/? :o
On second thoughts, I don't want any advice!
"spankologist"? where the fuck does one go to get a qualification in spankology?!!
i must say that, from that link, i particularly liked Serissa's Punishment Diary, here: http://sierra-salem.livejournal.com/
oh no, oops, that's Sierra's? Punishment Diary.? :-[
I am not and will not ever be into that shit. I'd probably even prefer a blow to the face.
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can be arranged, hon, no problem.
:P
heehee.
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Wait a sec, is this your blog? http://www.auntyagony.net/? :o
On second thoughts, I don't want any advice!
"spankologist"? where the fuck does one go to get a qualification in spankology?!!
i must say that, from that link, i particularly liked Serissa's Punishment Diary, here: http://sierra-salem.livejournal.com/
oh no, oops, that's Sierra's? Punishment Diary.? :-[
I am not and will not ever be into that shit.? I'd probably even prefer a blow to the face.
what if it was Serissa's Punishment Dairy - people are rewarded for their sins by being forced to eat ice-cream, chocolate etc?
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what if it was Serissa's Punishment Dairy? - people are rewarded for their sins by being forced to eat ice-cream, chocolate etc?
(http://i6.tinypic.com/11lto2h.jpg)
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Some random autistic spaz from WP: "Oh, boohoo... Auntie, I need a girlfriend to fill complete (in other words, a shag). What should I doooooooooo? :(
"Wa-fuckin-wa...."
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Some random autistic spaz from WP: "Oh, boohoo... Auntie, I need a girlfriend to fill complete (in other words, a shag). What should I doooooooooo? :(
"Wa-fuckin-wa...."
die.
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Some random autistic spaz from WP: "Oh, boohoo... Auntie, I need a girlfriend to fill complete (in other words, a shag). What should I doooooooooo? :(
"Wa-fuckin-wa...."
die.
I concur.
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what if it was Serissa's Punishment Dairy? - people are rewarded for their sins by being forced to eat ice-cream, chocolate etc?
(http://i6.tinypic.com/11lto2h.jpg)
For some unknown reason the Harry Potter theme song is stuck in my head right now.
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Did you pick your new title or has it been hijacked yet again?
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me choosed it. all by myself, and everything.
incidentally, am wondering about my PR Profile, if i'm this anti-agony aunt creature.
i'm thinking i might rather be an Ecstasy Aunt, instead. anyone got any thoughts about that? ;)
(and don't bother mentioning drugs - i don't do them, and it's predictable).
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Dear Anti-Aunty
I have no memory of my childhood. Nothing. Zip. Nada.
The 'ologist who Dx'd me suggested it may be due to trauma.
Rather than pay $$$ to have therapy to discover what it might be, could you offer some suggestions?
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Dear Anti-Aunty
I have no memory of my childhood. Nothing. Zip. Nada.
The 'ologist who Dx'd me suggested it may be due to trauma.
Rather than pay $$$ to have therapy to discover what it might be, could you offer some suggestions?
I would say just inventing what ever you feel is a shocking enough trauma would be just as effective as paying some therapist loads of money for hypnosis to discover what this 'trauma' is.
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you were brought up in The Matrix machine thingies. now grow some fucking eyebrows, shoehorn yourself into some fetching PVC, and save the world.
DO IT NOW!
i thank you.
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I would say just inventing what ever you feel is a shocking enough trauma would be just as effective as paying some therapist loads of money for hypnosis to discover what this 'trauma' is.
ooooh, great idea. now all we need is for someone to start a thread inventing traumas, and watch people who've had that actual trauma get reeeeeeeeeally upset.
marv.
so what about my Ecstasy idea, eh?
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Ok i have a hypothetical question.
Say there was a special someone....who you share your bed with.....however unlike you....this BASTARD....is an akward sleeper.
Moves about, grinds his teeth, sort of semi snores (yes theres a semi snore) makes odd noises, waves his arms about, whacks his head into your chest like he thinks hes a baby suckling his mother.
As an alternative to smothering THE FUCKER with your pillow or ramming a dummy down his airway..........do you think its a good compromise to use restraints on him so he cant move about, stick masking tape over his mouth, and wear earplugs so you cant hear him whine etc?
Or how about wait till hes asleep and does his little irritating things then kick him onto the wooden floor EVERYTIME he makes a noise etc so he gets the hint but at the same time when he wakes up in agony each time down there go "oh gosh i dont know what happened you must keep rolling off, you poor thing" (whilst trying to hide the big grin on your face).
Lucifer, enlighten us.
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depends how good a fuck he is.
if it's mind blowing, then restraints sound more like the icing on the cake than something he'd complain about. don't keep kicking him out of the bed, though - he'll bruise in all the wrong places, and find it more difficult to perform.
on the other hand, if he's shite, stab the tosspot repeatedly, with something not too sharp (more painful), and get a rabbit.
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;D
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Would you say it reflects badly on someone if they post revealing pics of themselves?
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depends on how aesthetically pleasing the picture is. as far as reflecting badly, some i've seen on here (not you, by the way) would make anyone pick up the reflecting mirror, and smash it repeatedly all over them - i've seen more enticing road kill.
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Religion: apathetic, agnostic, atheist, believer?
Do you believe in a higher power?
If so what made you believe in it, what form do you think it takes, what makes you believe it takes that particular form?
If not, how do you feel about the people who do believe, whats your general attitude towards them?
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http://www.mattsmusicpage.com/111/sounds/rndarse.htm
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what color is your hair?
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is lower level uni (not talking about masters or doctorates) a brainwash?
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what color is your hair?
depends.
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what color is your hair?
depends.
natural.
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is lower level uni (not talking about masters or doctorates) a brainwash?
no. the standards for intellectual hygiene leave much to be desired, and so the best we can force the students to do is a quick wipe round the brain with a moistened, lemon-flavoured towelette - more like a "Brain Wet-One" than a "Brain Wash". the youth of today... ::)
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what color is your hair?
depends.
natural.
still depends.
1. which hair
2. time of year
3. time of life
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is lower level uni (not talking about masters or doctorates) a brainwash?
no. the standards for intellectual hygiene leave much to be desired, and so the best we can force the students to do is a quick wipe round the brain with a moistened, lemon-flavoured towelette - more like a "Brain Wet-One" than a "Brain Wash". the youth of today...  ::)
you realize that i am nearer your age.
i think the problem with the youth is that aweful noise coming from the radio.
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what color is your hair?
depends.
natural.
still depends.Â
1. which hair
2. time of year
3. time of life
your head, teenaged years
both summer and winter
2 answers will make me happy.
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i am actually completely bald, and have been since an unfortunate (but whimsical) misunderstanding between myself and a partially deaf office worker, who mistook the phrase "fax my head" to be "wax my head". the novelty has yet to wear off, which is just as well, as my follicles have never recovered from the shock of the unexpected trauma of a full head wax with no warning, anaesthetic, or foreplay.
this happened when i was rapidly approaching - yea, even close-but-no-cigar-ing 13 - thus encompassing your reference to "teenage" quite neatly, i feel, and answering possibly all three of your questions at one fell swoop.
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so you are light haired. aka-peachfuzz.
so you were the bald bitch in that queen video.
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what happened to your dancing black pussy?
did odeon bully you?
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what happened to your dancing black pussy?
did odeon bully you?
Please. Get. Rid. Of. That. Thing. :laugh:
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Hey Auntie Fuck...
Have you ever had the "I'm gay." confessions while you're a teacher besides the usual "My hamster is dead!" ones?
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what happened to your dancing black pussy?
did odeon bully you?
yes, oh yes - he threatened to stop... stop... well, something. or other. *cough*
anyway...
Hey Auntie Fuck...
Have you ever had the "I'm gay." confessions while you're a teacher besides the usual "My hamster is dead!" ones?
not recently - i'm teaching primary age at the mo. i seem to remember i have, but it was a while ago.
why, do you want to come out to me, dear? great! wait while i pop off and get my tape recorder, so i can record your tearful and heart-rending story of "living a lie" to play back to my mates for a laugh later, okay?
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why, do you want to come out to me, dear? great! wait while i pop off and get my tape recorder, so i can record your tearful and heart-rending story of "living a lie" to play back to my mates for a laugh later, okay?
It's so good to see some old-fashioned therapy at work.
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yep. and you haven't even seen my charges, yet. :P
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What can you say about the large influx of foreign people coming over into this country? Do you feel rather xenophobic about it, or do you think it's a good thing?
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too serious an issue to take the piss out of, so fuck off.
:P
:laugh:
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too serious an issue to take the piss out of, so fuck off.
:P
:laugh:
LOL.
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too serious an issue to take the piss out of, so fuck off.
:P
:laugh:
LOL.
X2.
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so you are something of a literary buff, but what supposedly classic books have you read that were too confusing, long, boring and/or stuffy that even you couldn't stand them?
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so you are something of a literary buff
says who?
anyway... anything by dickens or austen, cos they both needed shooting at birth, and saving me the HORROR of having to read them.
most of the russians - CHEER UP , for fuck's sake! and i can't remember all those fucking names, so make them easier to remember. mainly. am okay with other non-english names, though, so fuck knows why the russian ones give me so much trouble.
asimov. why? why?
what else do you consider classic, then? went my own way as far as reading goes, after 'O' Level english (i was 15), so not sure of the definition.
oh, but one thing which really annoys me, just recently - what's with all these books being pulished which claim to be novels, and are short stories, supposedly "linked"? i mean david mitchell's "cloud atlas" and "ghostwritten", and the paul theroux book i've just abandoned (how many stories about child sex abuse do i want to read, when it's made into something which is supposed to be amusing - nasty cunt). and i know that's what they're doing - linking several short stories, very tenuously indeed (especially in the case of mitchell), cos i did it with my third book. although mine was far better linked than theirs, so ner.
FUCKING WANKERS !!
that answer your question?
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so you are something of a literary buff
says who?
anyway... anything by dickens or austen, cos they both needed shooting at birth, and saving me the HORROR of having to read them.
most of the russians - CHEER UP , for fuck's sake! and i can't remember all those fucking names, so make them easier to remember. mainly. am okay with other non-english names, though, so fuck knows why the russian ones give me so much trouble.
asimov. why? why?
what else do you consider classic, then? went my own way as far as reading goes, after 'O' Level english (i was 15), so not sure of the definition.
oh, but one thing which really annoys me, just recently - what's with all these books being pulished which claim to be novels, and are short stories, supposedly "linked"? i mean david mitchell's "cloud atlas" and "ghostwritten", and the paul theroux book i've just abandoned (how many stories about child sex abuse do i want to read, when it's made into something which is supposed to be amusing - nasty cunt). and i know that's what they're doing - linking several short stories, very tenuously indeed (especially in the case of mitchell), cos i did it with my third book. although mine was far better linked than theirs, so ner.
FUCKING WANKERS !!
that answer your question?
Quite :)
And it would seem you are a bit of a buff just going by your being about 5 times as opinionated as I could ever be.
The main book I had in mind when I wrote that question was Ulysses, I just couldn't get past the weird fucking language. But I'm sure there are many many others that I've just forgotten.
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JAMES FUCKING JOYCE!!!
cunt!
i had to suffer "portrait of the artist as a very very VERY long sentence without any breaks whatsoever" for my sins, on the M.A. "ulysses" should be reported to Amnesty International, if you ask me. oh except the "yes, yes, yes!" bit by molly, cos that's cool. well, it was when katie bush used it in "sensual world", anyway. ;)
and i'm not opinionated, i have opinions, which is a very different thing. now fuck off, and do not reply until you can explain what that difference is. or expect to be called a tosspot.
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and i'm not opinionated, i have opinions, which is a very different thing. now fuck off, and do not reply until you can explain what that difference is. or expect to be called a tosspot.
:laugh:
After looking up the precise definition, yeah you're right I used the wrong word.
anyway, for some reason I'm considering picking up the 1000-page monstrosity "Atlas Shrugged"
Am I brave or just stupid?
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hmmmm... looks as though it could be interesting, but ayn rand's politics are faaaaaaaaar away from mine, and the writing's supposed to be atrocious.
tell you what, you read it, and tell me what happens, okay?