INTENSITY²
Start here => What's your crime? Basic Discussion => Topic started by: Osensitive1 on November 16, 2011, 07:33:07 PM
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After many years of paying no attention to internet, outside of occasional business and research, I suddenly started a blog which resulted in befriending an autistic woman. During the course of our friendship, she had given me some information which had a link to wp. The experience was so overwhelming, I turned in my vacation time, shut myself in my room, and did nothing for two weeks but read page after page of the general discussion forum of that site. I was consumed. My family was concerned. When I came out of my hole, I told my son about this wonderful planet. He was already a moderator on a discussion forum of his own interest and couldn't have cared less about wp. So I joined. Claire333, the darling wife and mother in me. She's also my poetry in motion, albeit so very cat in the hat.
The first time I tried to leave wrongplanet, was from a moment of realization, in reading a thread about the undiagnosed. Important points were made concerning the possible damage in misrepresenting the spectrum, in a place so many come to seek knowledge. Damage, no matter how well intentioned is still damaged, so I agreed. However, my need to be there didn't leave, so I just stopped talking about myself, stopped talking about autism, made myself comfy in the depths of PPR, and otherwise lurked.
Then one day my son mentioned an interest in joining wp; my signal to kindly step aside. I don't hide anything I do on the internet and he knew of Claire, so I told him I had recently gotten interested in a new site and would leave wp to him. Claire dropped the threes, moved to Zomg, and soon after became Clear. After being there a while, I had a bad day where someone wrote the details of their fantasy of me being raped and killed. It was very out of the blue. As to my reaction, I'm no doubt the sensitive type. I said my goodbyes and I split, but my need to be there didn't leave, so I came here.
Claire didn't come here because she's chicken shit, and the idea of a new start was kind of nice anyway. It was great being able to become friendly with new people here on such fresh ground, and to find those I've seen before, thought the flower of a different name to smell as sweet. The rest of that chapter is in the pages here, as in walks Jack.
Something was said a few days ago, which made me realize, that along the way, I've done a terrible thing. The comment was about hosts and dealing with complaints of abuse, and so I remembered when I once had a complaint. At the time I made this complaint, I immediately regretted it, because it was petty and vindictive and not the person I want to be. I also had to consider my complaint was about someone who had never previously given me grief. On consideration, I realized it was very possible I unknowingly offended them or provoked; and besides, they had so much more right to be there than me. Really, how could I suck any more that that, but I do. The recent comment which made me remember all of this, also shed the light on how the ripple of my actions expanded in ways I never before considered. I am single handily responsible for the demise of Zomg Aspies, and I did it with a very brief and stupid complaint. Having the knowledge I've destroyed a place intended for autistics to congregate is absolutely devastating to me. I can't even express how upset I am right now, but I think it's important I leave the autistic community, regardless of my own selfish need to be here which certainly wont leave.
I'm not going to just dump all this here and step out. I also think it's important I say anything else others might think needs to be said. If anyone has any questions about what I've written here or anything about me personally in general, please ask, and I'll be happy to answer. I'll give until my account is deleted. Though please don't try to minimize it or ask me to stay; It wont change the way I fell about what I've done.
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I don't understand what is going on.
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Nor do I. All I see is that we're going to lose another good person?
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Wow. I don't know what to say.
Firstly. I will be gutted to see you go. I've grown to really like you. We're losing so many of our best posters.
Secondly. You have a son. I had no idea. Cool. I always wondered about the real Jack, but felt awkward asking. Had no idea you had kids.
Thirdly. OK you made a mistake and it had unintended consequences. That's a bad feeling, but it doesn't mean that you have any less right to be here than anyone else.
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I remember you. We need Adam to get here. I highly, highly, highly doubt that you are responsible for the demise of zOMG. Really. Please stay.
:(
Edit: Was the person who made you feel bad buttcoffee? Don't worry, he says/said shit about everyone :laugh: I remember them having discussions about my sex life etc. 'Twas amusing to read.
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I spoke to Adam first, and he was very sweet about it, though I didn't expect anything else from someone so lovely. It's true.
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zOMG stopped being a functioning forum long before you turned up. It was pretty much dead by the end of 2009/start of 2010. All it had was Soleiyu, buttcoffee, Pea and some other twat talking bollocks. zOMG disappearing wasn't much of a loss to anybody, including Adam. Sure, there was a load of history attached to that place but from my own conversations with Adam, which I hope he won't mind me saying, he had moved on and realised that he doesn't need things to remember Sophie by, that she will be in his head.
Apart from all that, I can't think of any other reason why anyone would be sad about zOMG being gone.
It's not worth leaving for that reason, really it isn't.
:hug:
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zOMG stopped being a functioning forum long before you turned up. It was pretty much dead by the end of 2009/start of 2010. All it had was Soleiyu, buttcoffee, Pea and some other twat talking bollocks. zOMG disappearing wasn't much of a loss to anybody, including Adam. Sure, there was a load of history attached to that place but from my own conversations with Adam, which I hope he won't mind me saying, he had moved on and realised that he doesn't need things to remember Sophie by, that she will be in his head.
Apart from all that, I can't think of any other reason why anyone would be sad about zOMG being gone.
It's not worth leaving for that reason, really it isn't.
:hug:
Those may be the only people you remember, but there were more and I know for certain that site was important to some of them. And no, I like buttcoffee. He's very clever and I suspect he may have even recognized me here.
I always wondered about the real Jack,
Feel free to ask anything you want to know. At the moment, I'm an open book.
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If someone wrote out details of their fantasy of you being raped and murdered and you made a complaint about it, I think that if this caused a problem it would have been caused by the person doing that to you, not by you for complaining about it.
Also, I think that you absolutely have as much of a right to be here as anyone else does and I and many others would miss you if you left.
If it was Sol who said that about you, he said something similar about my daughter here, I think primarily to get a reaction from me and hoping I would ban him for it. When he wasn't banned for that, he threatened the site.
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This isn't about my right to be here, it's about my being detrimental.
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This isn't about my right to be here, it's about my being detrimental.
I think that your presence here is beneficial, not detrimental.
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Sure there were other people but that forum was a graveyard. Full of Scrap's spam, if I remember correctly.
Again, it's not worth leaving I2 over what happened with zOMG. It's history.
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zOMG stopped being a functioning forum long before you turned up. It was pretty much dead by the end of 2009/start of 2010. All it had was Soleiyu, buttcoffee, Pea and some other twat talking bollocks. zOMG disappearing wasn't much of a loss to anybody, including Adam. Sure, there was a load of history attached to that place but from my own conversations with Adam, which I hope he won't mind me saying, he had moved on and realised that he doesn't need things to remember Sophie by, that she will be in his head.
Apart from all that, I can't think of any other reason why anyone would be sad about zOMG being gone.
It's not worth leaving for that reason, really it isn't.
:hug:
Those may be the only people you remember, but there were more and I know for certain that site was important to some of them. And no, I like buttcoffee. He's very clever and I suspect he may have even recognized me here.
I always wondered about the real Jack,
Feel free to ask anything you want to know. At the moment, I'm an open book.
How many kids do you have? What age are you? Are you married? I'll totally understand you not answering this one, but who's your son on WP?
I hope this doesn't seem rude, but I had an idea of you in my head and you've surprised me :laugh:
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Also, just look at me! I've been in your shoes before except with me it's not that I'm undiagnosed, I'm just an NT :P
I've trolled this place in the past and I'm still here. It was a shit thing to do (though highly amusing at the time) but it's in the past now. People shouldn't be judged by their neurology but by who they are as a whole. You're a lovely person and one who's opinion I usually like to read. Just because you're undiagnosed or a parent of an Aspie, doesn't mean you don't have the right to post here because of one thing you did once in the past.
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[quote author=Butterflies
How many kids do you have? What age are you? Are you married? I'll totally understand you not answering this one, but who's your son on WP?
I hope this doesn't seem rude, but I had an idea of you in my head and you've surprised me :laugh:
Two children, recently turned 19 and 20. I'm 40 and will be celebrating my 21st anniversary in a few days.
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Well, I guess I tried.
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This isn't about my right to be here, it's about my being detrimental.
What could you do to Intensity that would be as bad as what you think you did to Zomg?
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This isn't about my right to be here, it's about my being detrimental.
Detrimental? That is fucking ludicrous. I remember Claire333 but can't recall from zOMG or WP. I would prefer that you stay but announcing intent to leave and then staying is fucking lame and I therefore prefer that you go ahead and leave.* Have a good life. BTW I am :plus: ing you now. :hahaha:
* credibilty matters.
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[quote author=Butterflies
How many kids do you have? What age are you? Are you married? I'll totally understand you not answering this one, but who's your son on WP?
I hope this doesn't seem rude, but I had an idea of you in my head and you've surprised me :laugh:
Two children, recently turned 19 and 20. I'm 40 and will be celebrating my 21st anniversary in a few days.
Just realized I forgot one. I don't know who my son is on wp, or if he is there, and don't want to know.
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This isn't about my right to be here, it's about my being detrimental.
Detrimental? That is fucking ludicrous. I remember Claire333 but can't recall from zOMG or WP. I would prefer that you stay but announcing intent to leave and then staying is fucking lame and I therefore prefer that you go ahead and leave.* Have a good life. BTW I am :plus: ing you now. :hahaha:
* credibilty matters.
Not trying to be lame. I felt it would be rude to say all this and leave without answering any questions. I did consider making this thread, locking it, and leaving it at that. That seemed pretty lame to me. Apologies if I've made you angry.
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This isn't about my right to be here, it's about my being detrimental.
What could you do to Intensity that would be as bad as what you think you did to Zomg?
How should I know, but it seems certain I'll mess up at some point. I wont go into the details of other people I've hurt or wronged, unless you want me to. At this point I'll tell you pretty much whatever you want to know. I'm a real screw up when it comes to people; I don't mean it, but that doesn't really change the result.
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This isn't about my right to be here, it's about my being detrimental.
Detrimental? That is fucking ludicrous. I remember Claire333 but can't recall from zOMG or WP. I would prefer that you stay but announcing intent to leave and then staying is fucking lame and I therefore prefer that you go ahead and leave.* Have a good life. BTW I am :plus: ing you now. :hahaha:
* credibilty matters.
Not trying to be lame. I felt it would be rude to say all this and leave without answering any questions. Apologies if I've made you angry.
Apparently you misunderstand my post. I like you. Because of that I would rather see you go through with your stated intent of leaving than say it and not do it. As far as leaving within the specified time frame I do not consider that to be lame. I consider the idea of you being a detriment to this site to be ludicrous. Mario The Plumber's Butt Crack spamming and Soph's decision to shut down zOMG were why it was so fucked up at the end and shut down respectively.
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This isn't about my right to be here, it's about my being detrimental.
What could you do to Intensity that would be as bad as what you think you did to Zomg?
How should I know, but it seems certain I'll mess up at some point. I wont go into the details of other people I've hurt or wronged, unless you want me to. At this point I'll tell you pretty much whatever you want to know. I'm a real screw up when it comes to people; I don't mean it, but that doesn't really change the result.
Heh, you have way too much guilt. Though I can't really talk, am the same way myself. No questions here so you'll probably ignore this post too.
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That's very sweet, binty. I don't really know how to respond.
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[quote author=Butterflies
How many kids do you have? What age are you? Are you married? I'll totally understand you not answering this one, but who's your son on WP?
I hope this doesn't seem rude, but I had an idea of you in my head and you've surprised me :laugh:
Two children, recently turned 19 and 20. I'm 40 and will be celebrating my 21st anniversary in a few days.
OMG :green: I had no idea. You were married 2 years, and on your second kid by the time you were my age. It's weird, you never told us anything about yourself, so I just built my own idea of you.
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This isn't about my right to be here, it's about my being detrimental.
Detrimental? That is fucking ludicrous. I remember Claire333 but can't recall from zOMG or WP. I would prefer that you stay but announcing intent to leave and then staying is fucking lame and I therefore prefer that you go ahead and leave.* Have a good life. BTW I am :plus: ing you now. :hahaha:
* credibilty matters.
Not trying to be lame. I felt it would be rude to say all this and leave without answering any questions. Apologies if I've made you angry.
Apparently you misunderstand my post. I like you. Because of that I would rather see you go through with your stated intent of leaving than say it and not do it. As far as leaving within the specified time frame I do not consider that to be lame. I consider the idea of you being a detriment to this site to be ludicrous. Mario The Plumber's Butt Crack spamming and Soph's decision to shut down zOMG were why it was so fucked up at the end and shut down respectively.
I see. Yes, I also agree it's important I follow through. Adam made no such decision.
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How should I know, but it seems certain I'll mess up at some point. I wont go into the details of other people I've hurt or wronged, unless you want me to. At this point I'll tell you pretty much whatever you want to know. I'm a real screw up when it comes to people; I don't mean it, but that doesn't really change the result.
No, I don't want to ask you about every failure of your past. I just want to show you that this message board is more robust than your ability to destroy things. Others have tried and failed to take it down and I don't see why it would be any different with you.
If this is your way of saying goodbye, I wish you well, but I'm a bit concerned, because when the other Jack I know starts talking like this, it's a symptom of bad depression. I'm all for your venting depression the same way someone might vent anger. Just, giving a damn.
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I am sad about this and agree with Pyraxis that this site is Jack-proof. :yarly:
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Thanks, for the goodbyes and concern, Pyraxis. Please don't worry; I'm not depressed, just very upset.
I'm sad about it too, cousin. I'm not really worried I'll hurt the site, just like I'm not really upset that I've hurt a site. Sites are a lot more than sites.
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Detrimental??? How???
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:( :( :(
You're one of the most nicest, rational and most corteous people on this board and there is absolutely nothing you have to feel guilty for. Occasionally I feel similar to you in that I think I'm a toxic person, a ruiner who injects poison into everything I'm a part of. But I can tell you, you are NONE of those things.
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Jack,
It takes a lot to take this site down. Pyraxis said it all and far better than I feel able to, right now, but there is no way you'd be able to do that. I think you are a positive force in the communities where you participate and I find it impossible to believe you could bring down this place, or that you were responsible for zOMG's demise. The explanation for the latter is probably a lot simpler than that from what I have gathered from Adam.
I think you have this whole thing wrong. I realise you feel guilty, but it is completely undeserved and you'd be sorely missed if you left. I know I would.
That said, people sometimes fuck up. I know I do, and I know I have hurt people I care about online, but I doubt anything would be better by me leaving. I try to learn from my mistakes and move on, and if I can do it, I know you can.
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Adam made no such decision.
Ah, shit, wait. I thought you knew. I did make the decision to shut down zomg. About a month or so later, the host removed it as well (for "adult content" lol). I don't know if that was as a direct consequence of your report, but I doubt it. Either way it would have made no difference as I wouldn't have brought the site back afterwards. I might have considered it at the time, but with hindsight I can say I wouldn't have done
I dunno if you were around when Flake was attacking the site, but iirc he tried to report the place shitloads of times too, and nothing happened from it. I reckon unless someone reports cp, then they don't take it too seriously .
Regardless, whether you'd sent the report or not, I still would have shut down the site when I did. I'm genuinely sorry for the person who really did get a lot out of the place at the time, but it needed to end. It ran its course and went to shit long before I shut it down. I could name a few people who possibly contributed to that, including myself (for neglecting it towards the end), but I wouldn't include you in that list.
I don't think you are in any way responsible for the end of zomg, and I should know.
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Add me to the list of people who don't see you as detrimental.
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I won't think it lame of you if you say you are leaving and then decide to stay. :) Not lame at all. I think you have added quality to Intensity. You have unique views on things. You post in a way that makes me think and I like that, it keeps my mind from circulating around the same old stuff.
Wondering what your interests are outside of forums, do you work, study, volunteer or something else. I couldn't gauge what your interests were before as you seem to know a lot about a wide range of topics.
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:agreed: Stick around.
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I won't think it lame of you if you say you are leaving and then decide to stay. :) Not lame at all. I think you have added quality to Intensity. You have unique views on things. You post in a way that makes me think and I like that, it keeps my mind from circulating around the same old stuff.
Wondering what your interests are outside of forums, do you work, study, volunteer or something else. I couldn't gauge what your interests were before as you seem to know a lot about a wide range of topics.
I wouldn't think it lame either. Sometimes we post stuff in moments of extreme angst and
then see things differently when we are calmer, or when we have more information,
such as the post Adam just made today. I hope Jack decides to stay. :)
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I am guessing someone else has already said:
If you leave you arent learning from your life experiences....you are just running away......again :)
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Not lame at all. I think the purpose of the seven days is to think about things.
Not one person here, who posts regular, wants you to go. Therefore, the only reason for you to go is if you really don't like it here, don't like us, or some of us! Logic should win here. Logic says stay.
It matters not if you are Jack, Clare, Tom, Dick, or Harry. (more Dick's should become members though :zoinks:)
Anyway, use the days to think it over. You fit in well here.
Also, you might join somewhere else and not fit so well. That could lead to you not posting. We all know not posting could lead to a certain kind of madness. A madness that compels you to talk to strange people on buses etc. hell yeah it's a public safety issue.... :hahaha:
Stay.
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Not one person here, who posts regular, wants you to go.
Think so too.. and hope Jack stays around to post on I². And I wish Eris to return too. Calavera.
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Hope you reconsider this Jack. You'd be missed. :(
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Hope you reconsider this Jack. You'd be missed. :(
^ This.
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Not one person here, who posts regular, wants you to go.
Think so too.. and hope Jack stays around to post on I². And I wish Eris to return too. Calavera.
Yes definitely. Come back eris and calavera!
or else...
....i'm going to sing!
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^ Ja.. and I'm going to dance to Bodaccea's song.. :celebrate:
Nah, but seriously.. feel a bit sad about nice folk leaving I². Plus here I don't understand as of why ,really, also. (but that's probably me missing out on stuff/things that happened earlier)
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The first time I tried to leave wrongplanet, was from a moment of realization, in reading a thread about the undiagnosed. Important points were made concerning the possible damage in misrepresenting the spectrum, in a place so many come to seek knowledge. Damage, no matter how well intentioned is still damaged, so I agreed. However, my need to be there didn't leave, so I just stopped talking about myself, stopped talking about autism, made myself comfy in the depths of PPR, and otherwise lurked.
I have probably read that wrong, but are you saying you are not autistic? or just 'undiagnosed'?
probably me, but the way you said about meeting an autistic woman, just thought you would have said 'another' or 'fellow' autistic instead. it don't matter anyway.
haha btw just read about lutra dancing to my singing - you have to move legs only as hands will be placed firmly over ears lutra!
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Do stay it's nice having you around
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Adam made no such decision.
Ah, shit, wait. I thought you knew. I did make the decision to shut down zomg. About a month or so later, the host removed it as well (for "adult content" lol). I don't know if that was as a direct consequence of your report, but I doubt it. Either way it would have made no difference as I wouldn't have brought the site back afterwards. I might have considered it at the time, but with hindsight I can say I wouldn't have done
I dunno if you were around when Flake was attacking the site, but iirc he tried to report the place shitloads of times too, and nothing happened from it. I reckon unless someone reports cp, then they don't take it too seriously .
Regardless, whether you'd sent the report or not, I still would have shut down the site when I did. I'm genuinely sorry for the person who really did get a lot out of the place at the time, but it needed to end. It ran its course and went to shit long before I shut it down. I could name a few people who possibly contributed to that, including myself (for neglecting it towards the end), but I wouldn't include you in that list.
I don't think you are in any way responsible for the end of zomg, and I should know.
Thank you, Adam. There's really no around the fact, I'm responsible for your site being taken down. You maybe have made the decision to not bring it back, but it does me no good to speculate on what might have been different or the same if I hadn't been involved.
I know Sophie's words were immortalized there for you. It's so very sweet that you don't want me feel to blame. It means a lot to me that you feel that way; so I'll try to not dwell on that thought too much.
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I'm in a better frame of mind for responses today, so I'll get to those I missed yesterday, as well as the new posts in a bit.
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Sorry, jack, but I just don't see it. Do you read what Adam wrote so differently from the rest of us? Do you feel it's necessary to punish yourself because you may have had a part in what Adam would have done anyway?
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But even if you hadnt been involved, what would have been different? I still would have shut it down. In fact, irrc you were one of the good posters there when you were on it, so if anything surely things would have been WORSE if you hadnt been there?
No one can ever know how different things would have been, or what exactly their impact is on anything, however big or small, for better or worse. Maybe if I'd gone out today I'd have been hit by a bus. Or maybe I'd have had a great day and met someone cool. Maybe if I'd never met Sophie she wouldn't have ended up killing herself, or maybe she'd have done it earlier. You can never know how things would have been under different circumstances. But there's absolutely no reason to think that zomg would have stayed up if you hadn't been there
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Sorry, jack, but I just don't see it. Do you read what Adam wrote so differently from the rest of us? Do you feel it's necessary to punish yourself because you may have had a part in what Adam would have done anyway?
Exactly. it would have happened anyway.
I think there are 3 important points here:
1. It was me who closed the place down, and not because of anything you said or did
2. even if it had been down to you - which it wasnt - your INTENTION when you reported it wasn't malicious towards me or any of the "innocent" members there. and that is what counts imo
and 3. it doesn't matter anymore. It's over
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Sorry, jack, but I just don't see it. Do you read what Adam wrote so differently from the rest of us? Do you feel it's necessary to punish yourself because you may have had a part in what Adam would have done anyway?
Not sure what was read differently. Adam said he had already made the decision. However, he didn't act on that decision; his site was taken down, then he made a decison. I think adam's very kind.
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He would have. Don't you trust him to tell you the truth?
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If someone wrote out details of their fantasy of you being raped and murdered and you made a complaint about it, I think that if this caused a problem it would have been caused by the person doing that to you, not by you for complaining about it.
Also, I think that you absolutely have as much of a right to be here as anyone else does and I and many others would miss you if you left.
If it was Sol who said that about you, he said something similar about my daughter here, I think primarily to get a reaction from me and hoping I would ban him for it. When he wasn't banned for that, he threatened the site.
Thanks, Callaway. I can't blame others for my reaction to them though, it's not my way.
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No. No. No.
I DID take the site down.
Sorry, Jack, I wish I'd been clearer. I think you misunderstood.
What happened was I made the decision to take it down AND I then took it down. I didn't totally delete it, but I took it offline.
The host then deleted it a couple months later. Possibly because of your report, possibly not. I don't think it matters anymore though.
I did take it down myself though and I'm 99% sure I never would have put it back up.
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He would have. Don't you trust him to tell you the truth?
Of course I think adam's telling me the truth. In hindsight, he certainly would have.
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No. No. No.
I DID take the site down.
Sorry, Jack, I wish I'd been clearer. I think you misunderstood.
What happened was I made the decision to take it down AND I then took it down. I didn't totally delete it, but I took it offline.
The host then deleted it a couple months later. Possibly because of your report, possibly not. I don't think it matters anymore though.
I did take it down myself though and I'm 99% sure I never would have put it back up.
That scenereo isn't much better. It only brings this down to me and you. Did you still have access to read it when it was down and not deleted?
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I only say in hindsight, because I can't know for sure that things would have changed, but I'm pretty certain I never would have brought back zomg.
And tbh, them deleting it probably did me a favour, because it took that ability away from me. It was hard to totally let go from the place because of the emotional investment I had in it, even though I had moved on from the past in a lot of ways.
But as Bint said, I don't need to keep records of old conversations to remember someone by. I have what I need and more. zomg may have had some good memories, but it also had a whole lot of shit ones, and I don't wanna feel tied down to something like that. I shut it down becuase I wanted to. I'm 99% sure I never would have brought it back, but even so, the deletion afterwards was probably a good thing as it took that out of my hands
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I know I've already told you, but if I were young I'd want to be your best friend. :) Thanks again, Adam.
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No. No. No.
I DID take the site down.
Sorry, Jack, I wish I'd been clearer. I think you misunderstood.
What happened was I made the decision to take it down AND I then took it down. I didn't totally delete it, but I took it offline.
The host then deleted it a couple months later. Possibly because of your report, possibly not. I don't think it matters anymore though.
I did take it down myself though and I'm 99% sure I never would have put it back up.
That scenereo isn't much better. It only brings this down to me and you. Did you still have access to read it when it was down and not deleted?
No. But I don't need to. I have memories, I have communication with family members, I have letters I've kept and things like that. For me, it would be a bad sign if I started re-reading over old posts from 4 years ago now. I don't need all that.
Totally different situation but, earlier this year I was helping an older relative go thru some of her stuff in her house, and came across a box of things she'd kept from when her husband died. It included things like his unfinished bar of mints and a broken watch. She didn;t need to keep holding onto everythjing like that by then. She just kept the most important things. At the time when you're emotionally completely devastated, people feel like they need to hold onto every little thing, as if they're losing part of that person when they lose anything related to them. As the time goes on and that pain eases, you can look at it more rationally and realise that those things don't actually help you remember them or keep them closer to you. Maybe some of the most important ones do, like a photo or a letter. But not every bit of junk you have.
Like I said, that isn't the same thing. But I hope it helps get across what I'm saying. I don't need zomg. I might have done a few years ago, but not anymore and i didnt do by 2010.
Anyway, I mean this. You really have no reason to feel bad. I hope this post gets across what I'm tryin to say. I didn't wanna get to personal with the family stuff and the Sophie stuff, but I'm hoping that it helps you realise I genuinely hold absolutely nothing against you and can't see any way in which you've hurt me or will hurt anyone else here
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I know I've already told you, but if I were young I'd want to be your best friend. :) Thanks again, Adam.
Thank you! there's no need to thank me tho as I'm only explaining what actually happened. I hope you can see it the same way everyone else is now. And I hope you don't leave over this
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I still can't help but feel I've taken something important from you, adam. And my wanting to leave isn't completely about you, it's a culmination of things over the years, all very related and similar; this just brought it to a head. I've been very careful to be impersonal here to avoid doing it again; though not sure if I have or not.
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Detrimental??? How???
In very personal ways, oblivious to me, until maybe years later.
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:( :( :(
You're one of the most nicest, rational and most corteous people on this board and there is absolutely nothing you have to feel guilty for. Occasionally I feel similar to you in that I think I'm a toxic person, a ruiner who injects poison into everything I'm a part of. But I can tell you, you are NONE of those things.
Thank you, Sinnocent. That's really nice of you to say. Your post have three threes.
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Also, just look at me! I've been in your shoes before except with me it's not that I'm undiagnosed, I'm just an NT :P
I've trolled this place in the past and I'm still here. It was a shit thing to do (though highly amusing at the time) but it's in the past now. People shouldn't be judged by their neurology but by who they are as a whole. You're a lovely person and one who's opinion I usually like to read. Just because you're undiagnosed or a parent of an Aspie, doesn't mean you don't have the right to post here because of one thing you did once in the past.
Thanks, binty. I know it's not about who I am; it's about who I want to be. I think I once told you how that works. :)
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Jack,
It takes a lot to take this site down. Pyraxis said it all and far better than I feel able to, right now, but there is no way you'd be able to do that. I think you are a positive force in the communities where you participate and I find it impossible to believe you could bring down this place, or that you were responsible for zOMG's demise. The explanation for the latter is probably a lot simpler than that from what I have gathered from Adam.
I think you have this whole thing wrong. I realise you feel guilty, but it is completely undeserved and you'd be sorely missed if you left. I know I would.
That said, people sometimes fuck up. I know I do, and I know I have hurt people I care about online, but I doubt anything would be better by me leaving. I try to learn from my mistakes and move on, and if I can do it, I know you can.
Thanks, odeon. I'm not worried I'll harm your site; this is about people. I do try to learn from my mistakes, although when it comes to people, I don't realize I'm making them.
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Add me to the list of people who don't see you as detrimental.
Thank you, Puppet Sock Penguin.
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But do you want to live your life like that though? (ok, online life, but still). Leaving and avoiding getting closer to people incase you just MIGHT accidentally hurt someone?
We're all adults here. As long as you don't set out to purposely hurt people, then you're a good person. We all make mistakes
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I won't think it lame of you if you say you are leaving and then decide to stay. :) Not lame at all. I think you have added quality to Intensity. You have unique views on things. You post in a way that makes me think and I like that, it keeps my mind from circulating around the same old stuff.
Wondering what your interests are outside of forums, do you work, study, volunteer or something else. I couldn't gauge what your interests were before as you seem to know a lot about a wide range of topics.
Thank you, renaden. I'm a data specialist; work on a team to control, supply, and maintain a data warehouse. I've been doing for about two years, and previously worked in risk management over safety and ethics compliance for the same company. My general interests can vary and often do. I have a life long special interest, but don't talk about it, because people can find an obsession with horror to be weird. This interest has grown and changed as I've matured and lost all interest in fiction. Though I still love a good horror film, outside of that, my interest is horror fact. Criminal psychology is my interest.
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Do stay it's nice having you around
Hope you reconsider this Jack. You'd be missed. :(
^ This.
Hope you reconsider this Jack. You'd be missed. :(
Not one person here, who posts regular, wants you to go.
Think so too.. and hope Jack stays around to post on I². And I wish Eris to return too. Calavera.
:agreed: Stick around.
Thank you, too, Parts, Scrap, Icequeen, and Lutra.
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I am guessing someone else has already said:
If you leave you arent learning from your life experiences....you are just running away......again :)
I don't think I'm running away; I'm having a problem, coming clean about it, and facing it.
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Not lame at all. I think the purpose of the seven days is to think about things.
Not one person here, who posts regular, wants you to go. Therefore, the only reason for you to go is if you really don't like it here, don't like us, or some of us! Logic should win here. Logic says stay.
It matters not if you are Jack, Clare, Tom, Dick, or Harry. (more Dick's should become members though :zoinks:)
Anyway, use the days to think it over. You fit in well here.
Also, you might join somewhere else and not fit so well. That could lead to you not posting. We all know not posting could lead to a certain kind of madness. A madness that compels you to talk to strange people on buses etc. hell yeah it's a public safety issue.... :hahaha:
Stay.
Thanks, bodaccea. Though I think it matters very much that I'm claire and Jack.
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The first time I tried to leave wrongplanet, was from a moment of realization, in reading a thread about the undiagnosed. Important points were made concerning the possible damage in misrepresenting the spectrum, in a place so many come to seek knowledge. Damage, no matter how well intentioned is still damaged, so I agreed. However, my need to be there didn't leave, so I just stopped talking about myself, stopped talking about autism, made myself comfy in the depths of PPR, and otherwise lurked.
I have probably read that wrong, but are you saying you are not autistic? or just 'undiagnosed'?
probably me, but the way you said about meeting an autistic woman, just thought you would have said 'another' or 'fellow' autistic instead. it don't matter anyway.
haha btw just read about lutra dancing to my singing - you have to move legs only as hands will be placed firmly over ears lutra!
I don't know anything, and a diagnosis wont change that. I've also spent years studying autism and am certain if I sought a diagnosis, It would be PDD-NoS. I won't bore with the specifics of why.
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But do you want to live your life like that though? (ok, online life, but still). Leaving and avoiding getting closer to people incase you just MIGHT accidentally hurt someone?
We're all adults here. As long as you don't set out to purposely hurt people, then you're a good person. We all make mistakes
I'm thinking about this one adam. I do live my life like that. They don't hurt me and I don't hurt them, and I'm a very content person. If my family ties weren't so close, that might not be true. It's true what I recently said about why I'm here. My day is filled with EITYN8R9348QAGN6RIAO8WIB3HE and the language is good for me. It's all very selfish, and I just happen to find the minds of autistics to be beautiful and interesting, and worth my time to interact. I know that last bit sounds snooty, but it's true. I don't often find people so interesting.
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I really hope you reconsider Jack or at least come back after a long break. :(
Usually I ignore threads like this by default, but I guess I would miss you and wanted to say that.
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Thank you, professor. I don't think I'll ever forget your signature.
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Now how are we going to keep in touch via PM? You made me an offer that I want to hold you to.
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How very clever and devious of you, Hubert. :)
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I am guessing someone else has already said:
If you leave you arent learning from your life experiences....you are just running away......again :)
I don't think I'm running away; I'm having a problem, coming clean about it, and facing it.
I was thinking about this and thought I should explain more, as my account of happenings in my op was brief. I didn't just run away from Zomg. I fully admit it creeped me out to no end but I absolutely responded to the attack, though it was with no result what so ever. The attack was in third person, and my response was ignored while the third person attack continued. I have no need for the raging outbursts of anyone, and have always avoided those who need to share their rage. That might seem cowardly to some, and it might be, but I think I'm a better person without certain things in my life.
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Are you encouraging clever and devious? :eyebrow:
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I know I shouldn't encourage hubert, but sometimes I still do.
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I won't think it lame of you if you say you are leaving and then decide to stay. :) Not lame at all. I think you have added quality to Intensity. You have unique views on things. You post in a way that makes me think and I like that, it keeps my mind from circulating around the same old stuff.
Wondering what your interests are outside of forums, do you work, study, volunteer or something else. I couldn't gauge what your interests were before as you seem to know a lot about a wide range of topics.
Thank you, renaden. I'm a data specialist; work on a team to control, supply, and maintain a data warehouse. I've been doing for about two years, and previously worked in risk management over safety and ethics compliance for the same company. My general interests can vary and often do. I have a life long special interest, but don't talk about it, because people can find an obsession with horror to be weird. This interest has grown and changed as I've matured and lost all interest in fiction. Though I still love a good horror film, outside of that, my interest is horror fact. Criminal psychology is my interest.
Stupid question: what is a data warehouse? I did think you were pretty smart and I was right. :) As for criminal psychology, a fair few students in my psych classes are also doing criminology - people are starting to take an interest in this subject.
Am wondering what makes autistics different to interact with online compared to people who are not autistic. To you. Genuinely curious about this. To say that autistic people have beautiful and interesting minds is a high compliment indeed. :)
I find horror to be too scary for me most of the time. But I don't think an obsession with it is weird, given the books, the movies, the websites about it, etc. It can be a very in-depth subject. Thanks for sharing.
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*tries to read and get a clue*
if your leaving, dont :(
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Jack:
I seriously sympathise with you here , I feel bad for the stupid shit I did when I was younger and the pretty disgusting things I said towards people.
But... from what I gather you actually have nothing to feel guilty over , you are an amazing person who I seriously doubt would intentionally harm a site for autistics... but what's happened has happened and there is no animosity towards you.
As for being detrimental here , that's utter twaddle.
Your presence is welcomed and I think if you go I2 will be missing a very well liked member.
Really hope you stop painting yourself so negatively and see how well liked you are here , we may have had our arguments but I would seriously miss you if you left. :hug:
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if you leave I2 you will be missed jack, and trust me... you dont want to be missed.
i kill people i miss.
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I am guessing someone else has already said:
If you leave you arent learning from your life experiences....you are just running away......again :)
I don't think I'm running away; I'm having a problem, coming clean about it, and facing it.
I was thinking about this and thought I should explain more, as my account of happenings in my op was brief. I didn't just run away from Zomg. I fully admit it creeped me out to no end but I absolutely responded to the attack, though it was with no result what so ever. The attack was in third person, and my response was ignored while the third person attack continued. I have no need for the raging outbursts of anyone, and have always avoided those who need to share their rage. That might seem cowardly to some, and it might be, but I think I'm a better person without certain things in my life.
forgot to mention, I would miss you
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I would miss your dry fleur humor and your monitoring of the guests and bots! :police:
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Stupid question: what is a data warehouse?
Am wondering what makes autistics different to interact with online compared to people who are not autistic. To you.
A data warehouse is where a company stores their information for their product. Then core information is then accessible through various software applications and levels of access, depending on the end user and what information they need.
I don't know what makes it different. I had never wanted to interact with anyone online.
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Ah ok. I think I get the idea, thanks.
I find autistic people to be more... factual I guess. I think you are on the spectrum somewhere, I hope you don't mind my saying. Some people here are not formally diagnosed as well. Sometimes it can be too hard to get a diagnosis, the health system makes it that way. Especially for adults.
Another question: do you still have a blog?
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forgot to mention, I would miss you
I'll miss you too, blue one.
if you leave I2 you will be missed jack, and trust me... you dont want to be missed.
i kill people i miss.
:) Thanks, zippo.
Really hope you stop painting yourself so negatively and see how well liked you are here , we may have had our arguments but I would seriously miss you if you left. :hug:
Thank you, squid. No worries about my negativity, I'll be fine. No worries about the arguements too, I have a big bias toward youth.
*tries to read and get a clue*
if your leaving, dont :(
Thanks, zeg.
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Another question: do you still have a blog?
No, only had it a short while. I can't write like that; it's not good for me.
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How so? I have a blog but haven't written on it for ages. I actually lost a blog before the current one due to a database crash and it had a lot of stuff on it. I was discouraged because I find it hard to write as it is and some stuff I want to write about again but just can't.
Also don't know if so much introspection is good for me or not.
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I have palilalia, writing a lot makes it worse. It's distracting and it upsets me that I do it anyway.
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Palilalia is repeating yourself? I don't know much about it. I have trouble expressing...but this is your thread not mine, heh.
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Yes. It was external as a child. Never thought too much about it back then, just a wisper, but it bothered me when older so I stopped, though I really only internalized it, for the most part anyway.
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Jack, just think for a bit...
....won't you miss the weeble
:cbc: :cbc: :cbc: :cbc: :cbc: :cbc: :cbc: :cbc: :cbc: :cbc: :cbc: :cbc: :cbc: :cbc: :cbc: :cbc: :cbc: :cbc: :cbc: :cbc: :cbc: :cbc: :cbc: :cbc: :cbc: :cbc: :cbc:
I am concerned her wobble dance will have a slight limp from now if you leave :'(
(sorry that was a poor attempt at emotional blackmail)
I just don't really understand why you need to take your observational skills and go :'(
btw i always thought you were a private eye or a store detective :hahaha:
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Thanks again, everyone, for being so nice to me.
Jack
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Thanks again, everyone, for being so nice to me.
Jack
It wasn't hard to do. :hug:
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Oh Jack, I'm going to miss you.
You being the butterfly that starts the ripple that becomes a hurricane?
Maybe, maybe not. The beating of a wing of a butterfly can only lead to a hurricane if all the conditions are there.
You may think, and even more feel, that you brought ZOMG down. Don't think you did, and even if you did, had you not been the start of the ripple, something else would have been, because it was collapsing anyway.
That you feel guilty, is yours to deal with. No matter how hard we all try to express that you are not guilty, that it is not logical what you are saying, or what ever other reason we come up with, you feel guilty. And there is nothing we can do or reason about that.
Hope that you can forgive yourself one day. Because this, what you feel guilty of, can't be undone, nor can it be fixed.
Hope someday you will be ready to engage in online conversations on a board again.
Would be great to cross your path online again one day.
Also, just look at me! I've been in your shoes before except with me it's not that I'm undiagnosed, I'm just an NT :P
I've trolled this place in the past and I'm still here. It was a shit thing to do (though highly amusing at the time) but it's in the past now. People shouldn't be judged by their neurology but by who they are as a whole. You're a lovely person and one who's opinion I usually like to read. Just because you're undiagnosed or a parent of an Aspie, doesn't mean you don't have the right to post here because of one thing you did once in the past.
Thanks, binty. I know it's not about who I am; it's about who I want to be. I think I once told you how that works. :)
I hope you can be who you are, without being too demanding on yourself of who you should be.
Take good care of you.
:hug:
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I have palilalia, writing a lot makes it worse. It's distracting and it upsets me that I do it anyway.
I used to have paellalalia but people grew tired of paella discussions so I took up gun collecting instead. :zoinks:
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I have palilalia, writing a lot makes it worse. It's distracting and it upsets me that I do it anyway.
I used to have paellalalia but people grew tired of paella discussions so I took up gun collecting instead. :zoinks:
i luuurv guns!
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I have palilalia, writing a lot makes it worse. It's distracting and it upsets me that I do it anyway.
I used to have paellalalia but people grew tired of paella discussions so I took up gun collecting instead. :zoinks:
i luuurv guns!
Too bad you live in a Communist, gun-grabbing country. :soapbox:
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I have palilalia, writing a lot makes it worse. It's distracting and it upsets me that I do it anyway.
I used to have paellalalia but people grew tired of paella discussions so I took up gun collecting instead. :zoinks:
i luuurv guns!
Too bad you live in a Communist, gun-grabbing country. :soapbox:
were not exactly commie but i will give you gun grabbing!!!! :fp:
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@ Jack, maybe I need to find time to read that book.
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@ Jack, maybe I need to find time to read that book.
The title of this thread was very much for wolfish.
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@ Jack, maybe I need to find time to read that book.
The title of this thread was very much for wolfish.
I know.
But the minds of you and of Wolfie are wondrous. :)
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Life can hold many painful lessons; I've just never wanted to be one to teach them.
:) Bye.
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Someone was kind enough to mention in pm, making sure there's no deep end with this, and I don't want anyone else to think along those lines. There isn't a deep end. I've only ever been really low once and that was huge. I'll be fine. I won't focus on thinking I did the wrong thing, but rather continuing to do the right thing. Thanks again everyone. Sorry I got the room all flappy.
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Jack. She's too sensitive for teh interwebz. :hahaha:
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:laugh:
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David Bowie - Rebel Rebel (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Sa6bI_95G9I#)
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Stop bumping my angst.
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Jack does not need no stinking attention.
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Stop bumping my angst.
We all have angst from time to time.
It's all part of life and is a learning experience.
You've grown since this time, right??
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Not really, no. What's done is done. My motives are still very selfish, but I2 is good for Jack.
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Not really, no. What's done is done. My motives are still very selfish, but I2 is good for Jack.
you arev3333?
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No. Is that someone here or wp?
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JACK is just the latest incarnation which started as Claire333?
That is my best guess as to what is going on here.
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Oh, sure. Yes, claire-333/clear before joining here. First joined here as every, but at a bad time so didn't post much or stick around; second account was Osensitive1/Jack. Third account was Dipsy. This is the fourth and last, Jack. That's all my usernames. Have a sockpuppett on wp, with maybe ten posts over two or three years; that one's none of your beeswax.
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Ok. That's why I only asked about what was posted here.
I respect your privacy.
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scrap & mcj stirring up bullshit since?
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scrap & mcj stirring up bullshit since?
:bint:
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Which one of you requested it unlocked?
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Asking about what someone posted here and then going further to state I respect their privacy elsewhere is stirring up shit how?
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Which one of you requested it unlocked?
i had no idea it was locked. I clicked show new posts since my last visit and this thread showed up.
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Which one of you requested it unlocked?
It was unlocked when I stumbled across it, which means it had been unlocked for a year at least.
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Okay. Thanks.
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Asking about what someone posted here and then going further to state I respect their privacy elsewhere is stirring up shit how?
Fuck off you manipulating S.O.B..
I question your DX of being a human.
You dont go round questioning others Dx, and not expect retribution. Do you?
Wutcha gonna do? Ghey me again?
Hell take it all, hardly ranks at all, in the priorities of life,
Speaking of life, you may wish to get one of those also.
Fucking malicious troll.
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Nasty.
Hey, if you don't want it back, don't dish it out.
I was reading a thread. Asked if I was understanding correctly and moved on. Your reply was that I was shit stirring. Since that wasn't my intention I asked you why. And here is your typical response....nastiness.
I gheyed you for being nasty. Please, show some consistency in non nasty behavior and I will happily plus you. Until that time, please take stock of your own life and quit assuming of others.
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Oh, sure. Yes, claire-333/clear before joining here. First joined here as every, but at a bad time so didn't post much or stick around; second account was Osensitive1/Jack. Third account was Dipsy. This is the fourth and last, Jack. That's all my usernames. Have a sockpuppett on wp, with maybe ten posts over two or three years; that one's none of your beeswax.
I wondered if you were Dipsy! How is LaLa?
Tip for members - If you ever see Jack on a plane, never, I repeat NEVER shout "Hi Jack" :zoinks:
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That call out was hilarious.
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One of the best call-outs I've seen here. :2thumbsup:
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Thinking of changing mine to McJack_Mihoff
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That call out was hilarious.
Which one??
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That call out was hilarious.
Which one??
Bodaccea called out Dipsy.
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That call out was hilarious.
Which one??
Bodaccea called out Dipsy.
Great call out, indeed.
Bodaccea should come back in posting mode.
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That call out was hilarious.
Which one??
Bodaccea called out Dipsy.
Great call out, indeed.
Bodaccea should come back in posting mode.
Agreed.
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You have your work cut out for you. :hamsterwheel:
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She does not answer PMs lately, don't know if she reads them.
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You have your work cut out for you. :hamsterwheel:
Not sure what that means; she logs in several times per day.
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I hope she and the urchin are OK.