Oh Jack, I'm going to miss you.
You being the butterfly that starts the ripple that becomes a hurricane?
Maybe, maybe not. The beating of a wing of a butterfly can only lead to a hurricane if all the conditions are there.
You may think, and even more feel, that you brought ZOMG down. Don't think you did, and even if you did, had you not been the start of the ripple, something else would have been, because it was collapsing anyway.
That you feel guilty, is yours to deal with. No matter how hard we all try to express that you are not guilty, that it is not logical what you are saying, or what ever other reason we come up with, you feel guilty. And there is nothing we can do or reason about that.
Hope that you can forgive yourself one day. Because this, what you feel guilty of, can't be undone, nor can it be fixed.
Hope someday you will be ready to engage in online conversations on a board again.
Would be great to cross your path online again one day.
Also, just look at me! I've been in your shoes before except with me it's not that I'm undiagnosed, I'm just an NT 
I've trolled this place in the past and I'm still here. It was a shit thing to do (though highly amusing at the time) but it's in the past now. People shouldn't be judged by their neurology but by who they are as a whole. You're a lovely person and one who's opinion I usually like to read. Just because you're undiagnosed or a parent of an Aspie, doesn't mean you don't have the right to post here because of one thing you did once in the past.
Thanks, binty. I know it's not about who I am; it's about who I want to be. I think I once told you how that works. 
I hope you can be who you are, without being too demanding on yourself of who you should be.
Take good care of you.
Semicolon, where are you? We miss you!