Re the fluffer: Unlike you, I do try to be succinct and clear about my stance on things rather than bulllshit everyone to death and end it with a 'oh fuck I want to die anytime soon, the world is so mean to me'....I would add to that, for your own personal information, that I have dealt with people that are suicidal both in my own life and in my working life many years ago. I just can't tolerate being depressed for the sake of being depressed. If you want help, go the fuck out there and get it. This is pretty much the thing that pissed me off about Graelwyn. I thought she was genuinely depressed, but after a while I figured out she just wanted to wallow in her own filthy stinking mess of shit forever....my sympathy is genuine, but has a short fuse, I'm afraid.
I think that you've completely (as usual) misinterpreted my desire for
death. It's NOT that I feel the world is mean. It's not even that I'm
depressed (though that makes it seem a tad more attractive). I feel
that death is the gateway that I seek. One reason that I'm not willing
to kill myself is that it must be done at the height of my power. Thus,
seeing dancing as a potential way out. Though, when given the choice,
at the perfect moment, I still turned away and chose life, sadly enough;
but there were some extenuating circumstances, namely love.
Oh, and I don't think you answered my question.