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Author Topic: Questions for God  (Read 17821 times)

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Offline Peter

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Re: Questions for God
« Reply #390 on: March 27, 2008, 08:58:57 AM »
Why did You make mosquitoes?  They cause so much disease and death all over the world.

Because God hates blacks and coloureds; why else would hot places have so many diseases and dangerous animals?
Quote
14:10 - Moarskrillex42: She said something about knowing why I wanted to move to Glasgow when she came in. She plopped down on my bed and told me to go ahead and open it for her.

14:11 - Peter5930: So, she thought I was your lover and that I was sending you a box full of sex toys, and that you wanted to move to Glasgow to be with me?

Offline DirtDawg

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Re: Questions for God
« Reply #391 on: March 27, 2008, 12:24:01 PM »
God is a girl.

Judging by the behavior, I would be inclined to believe that well before I accept that she is a woman.
Jimi Hendrix: When the power of love overcomes the love of power the world will know peace. 

Ghandi: Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.

The end result of life's daily pain and suffering, trials and failures, tears and laughter, readings and listenings is an accumulation of wisdom in its purest form.

Offline DirtDawg

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Re: Questions for God
« Reply #392 on: March 27, 2008, 12:27:39 PM »
Maybe God just loves the diseases as much as the rest of creation.

Mankind  was kind of an afterthought, it seems.
Jimi Hendrix: When the power of love overcomes the love of power the world will know peace. 

Ghandi: Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.

The end result of life's daily pain and suffering, trials and failures, tears and laughter, readings and listenings is an accumulation of wisdom in its purest form.

Offline Parts

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Re: Questions for God
« Reply #393 on: March 27, 2008, 01:01:57 PM »
What are the next big powerball numbers?
"Eat it up.  Wear it out.  Make it do or do without." 

'People who say it cannot be done should not interrupt those who are doing it.'
George Bernard Shaw

ozymandias

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Re: Questions for God
« Reply #394 on: March 27, 2008, 01:14:23 PM »
What are the next big powerball numbers?

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6...........7 

                  --GOD

ozymandias

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Re: Questions for God
« Reply #395 on: March 27, 2008, 01:16:27 PM »
God is a girl.

Judging by the behavior, I would be inclined to believe that well before I accept that she is a woman.

Sshhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, do you realize how long it's taken me to even shake the "bearded patriarch" image, and those robes, OY.  They make me look sooooooooo fat. 

                                    --God

ozymandias

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Re: Questions for God
« Reply #396 on: March 27, 2008, 01:19:00 PM »
Maybe God just loves the diseases as much as the rest of creation.

Mankind  was kind of an afterthought, it seems.

I keep telling that to Jerry Falwell, Pat Robertson and all those other idiots who claim they talk to me.  As for those Creationists, don't get me started, they are the ultimate shit stirrers.   ::)
You think you got it bad here??   

--GOD

Offline DirtDawg

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Re: Questions for God
« Reply #397 on: May 05, 2008, 04:50:30 AM »

Is it OK if I touch you here?





... here?




How about here?
Jimi Hendrix: When the power of love overcomes the love of power the world will know peace. 

Ghandi: Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.

The end result of life's daily pain and suffering, trials and failures, tears and laughter, readings and listenings is an accumulation of wisdom in its purest form.

ozymandias

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Re: Questions for God
« Reply #398 on: May 05, 2008, 06:21:18 AM »
Now look what you did!  You just made me erupt a volcano in CHile that hasn't erupted in 9000 years!   >:(

                                                   --GOD

Offline DirtDawg

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Re: Questions for God
« Reply #399 on: May 05, 2008, 06:32:03 AM »


So you like this?
Jimi Hendrix: When the power of love overcomes the love of power the world will know peace. 

Ghandi: Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.

The end result of life's daily pain and suffering, trials and failures, tears and laughter, readings and listenings is an accumulation of wisdom in its purest form.

ozymandias

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Re: Questions for God
« Reply #400 on: May 05, 2008, 09:36:05 AM »


So you like this?

Only if PI is in the middle!   :eyebrows:  Otherwise keep your hands off da moichandise!    BTW, Jesus loves you!   :angel:

                               --GOD

                                                 

                 

Offline El

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Re: Questions for God
« Reply #401 on: May 06, 2008, 08:40:47 AM »
Dear Lord- when you read your own Good Book and see how Your followers choose to read and interpret it, do you feel more wrathful, emo, or like bursting into hysterical laughter?

P.S. I'd like to thank you for Catholicism, conservative Christianity, and strict christian schools, on behalf of every man who has ever screwed a newly-unrepressed catholic girl.
« Last Edit: May 06, 2008, 08:42:42 AM by JLPMS Elle »
it is well known that PMS Elle is evil.
I think you'd fit in a 12" or at least a 16" firework mortar
You win this thread because that's most unsettling to even think about.

ozymandias

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Re: Questions for God
« Reply #402 on: May 06, 2008, 10:29:51 AM »
Dear Lord- when you read your own Good Book and see how Your followers choose to read and interpret it, do you feel more wrathful, emo, or like bursting into hysterical laughter?

P.S. I'd like to thank you for Catholicism, conservative Christianity, and strict christian schools, on behalf of every man who has ever screwed a newly-unrepressed catholic girl.

I stopped being wrathful centuries ago, I had to give it up for Lent.  Besides, I was being wrathful 24/7, and that was no fun.  Now I  just sit back and enjoy the giggles  :hahaha: that I get from Pat Robertson, Oral Roberts, the Pope, the Ayatollah's and Mullah's, etc.  As for thanking me, men created their interpretations, not me.   Seriously, I enjoy seeing people do the right things and enjoy their free will in a responsible manner.  <sheesh>  It's about time the Human race grew up and sorted their own affairs.   ::)   Besides, I'm having such a blast playing games on the internet.   :laugh:  There's some good stuff out there.  People like yourself, Dawg and others give me hope, though the jury is still out on that ozymandias guy, can't figure out if he's creepy or weird.  <shrug>  Anyway, good luck in your end of semester stuff, and just between you and me, the sight of men wearing gowns, preaching celibacy  ::) and obedience to the pope is hilarious, and don't get me started on what I think of those nuns!   :laugh:

                                                                                     --GOD   ;)


Offline Christopher McCandless

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Re: Questions for God
« Reply #403 on: May 10, 2008, 07:11:10 PM »
Why is my life on course to pot? Why, oh just why?

ozymandias

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Re: Questions for God
« Reply #404 on: May 10, 2008, 09:12:46 PM »
Why is my life on course to pot? Why, oh just why?

Because you want everything now and on a silver platter!  Patience is a virtue...........at least until it allows others to waste your time.  You are young and have met a few difficulties...so what are you going to do...........cry like a baby or look for alternatives............and, trust me, there's always an alternative!  If you think everything and anything is carved in stone and inflexible.   Your asking the wrong deity, I programmed you for free will, so use it.    I want the best for you, but, the less I do, .............that means I'm doing my job and your growing into your potential.  The less you need me, the more you grow!
   
                                                                                    --GOD