My new baby

[Callaway]

Why though? A cure would change such a huge part of who you and then you wouldn't be the same person?

Maybe a "cure" wouldn't change who he is.  If there are some things that are causing him grief, would getting rid of those things fundamentally change him?

I mean what about depression, for example?  If someone is depressed and we cure that, does it really change who they are?

[benjimanbreeg]

Ain't gonna happen, benji. You were born with it, you'll live with it, and then you'll die with it. Acceptance is the best you can hope for. The 'us v them' shit grew old long ago, and it's only those that have a very insecure complex about themselves that keep regurgitating it.Doesn't mate whether you are Aspie, NT, bipolar, PDD-NOS - they are all fucking labels. Above all, we are all PEOPLE, posting on a forum together. And for the most part trying to live our lives the best we can. Doctors may put a dx in a file - doesn't mean you have to brand yourself like cattle with it.

You wouldn't understand unless you had AS.

[benjimanbreeg]

Get your butt on skype please. 

I'm going to bed in a bit, will tommorrow

[Adam]

even if it does change who you are, is that such a terrible thing? (i'm not talking about benji specifically here, lol)
i mean would i rather be myself and depressed, struggling to do anything worthehile and living a completely pointless existence, or would i rather be someone else and be able to live a normal life?

[Celticgoddess]

Why though? A cure would change such a huge part of who you and then you wouldn't be the same person?

Maybe a "cure" wouldn't change who he is.  If there are some things that are causing him grief, would getting rid of those things fundamentally change him?

I mean what about depression, for example?  If someone is depressed and we cure that, does it really change who they are?

But depression isn't autism. Anxiety isn't autism. It's a product of.....autism in itself is how the way our brains are hardwired. To cure that means you change a huge part of the person. I know who Benji is as a person and do i want him to be happy? Absolutely. But I'd be sad to lose the person that I know him to be.

I also have autism, as does my son and my promise to him, and to myself is to help us be the best versions of ourselves, what that may be, without changing who we are.

I know not everyone will agree with me in that.

[Celticgoddess]

Get your butt on skype please. 

I'm going to bed in a bit, will tommorrow

k. I'll save it for another night.

[The_Chosen_One]

Ain't gonna happen, benji. You were born with it, you'll live with it, and then you'll die with it. Acceptance is the best you can hope for. The 'us v them' shit grew old long ago, and it's only those that have a very insecure complex about themselves that keep regurgitating it.Doesn't mate whether you are Aspie, NT, bipolar, PDD-NOS - they are all fucking labels. Above all, we are all PEOPLE, posting on a forum together. And for the most part trying to live our lives the best we can. Doctors may put a dx in a file - doesn't mean you have to brand yourself like cattle with it.

You wouldn't understand unless you had AS.

Bullshit. That's the type of shit you expect from Wankplanet. It's who you are INSIDE that fucking counts, and trying to change who or what you are is only going to fuck you up even more. Look at Soiledarse - did he actually end up any better after his ops? Very doubtful, cos he still ended up the same bitter person after them than he would have been before. If you finally gor your cure, and everything changed for you, would you really be happy? What if things fucked up and you ended up 10 times worse? Accept who you are, and make the most of what you've got. Cos life's to short to be whining about shit you can't change.

[benjimanbreeg]

Ain't gonna happen, benji. You were born with it, you'll live with it, and then you'll die with it. Acceptance is the best you can hope for. The 'us v them' shit grew old long ago, and it's only those that have a very insecure complex about themselves that keep regurgitating it.Doesn't mate whether you are Aspie, NT, bipolar, PDD-NOS - they are all fucking labels. Above all, we are all PEOPLE, posting on a forum together. And for the most part trying to live our lives the best we can. Doctors may put a dx in a file - doesn't mean you have to brand yourself like cattle with it.

You wouldn't understand unless you had AS.

Bullshit. That's the type of shit you expect from Wankplanet. It's who you are INSIDE that fucking counts, and trying to change who or what you are is only going to fuck you up even more. Look at Soiledarse - did he actually end up any better after his ops? Very doubtful, cos he still ended up the same bitter person after them than he would have been before. If you finally gor your cure, and everything changed for you, would you really be happy? What if things fucked up and you ended up 10 times worse? Accept who you are, and make the most of what you've got. Cos life's to short to be whining about shit you can't change.

You still don't get it.  And i'm not whining about stuff I can't change.  And duh, Wrongplanet has a giveaway in the title.  We'd be fine if everything was made to suit us, but it isn't and never will be.  The feeling of being fucked off with the way things are, comes from autism, getting frustrated with yourself to the point of wanting to stick your head in a fire.  You'll never know that feeling truely.  So cut the crap

[Adam]

aspergers IS who we are inside. and yeah you could end up even worse if you took the cure, but look at the figures - they speak for themselves. you're much more likely to be depressed and have other mental problems if you are autistic. you're much less likely to have successful relationships and a career if you are autistic. you are much less likely to have genuine friendships if you are autistic. if i had been born an NT, i bet i would have a better life

[Celticgoddess]

But the same can be said for people who have schizophrenia, borderline personality disorder, down syndrome etc. I went over 30 years without a dx. Looking back I had all the signs as a child but it just wasn't something people knew about. Parts of my life were absolute hell because of it and yes, I definitely still struggle. You watched my marriage go down in flames and we've talked a lot while I try and sort my shit out. I'm not saying it's easy but I think the world would suck if we were all the same. Just my piddley two cents worth.

[Adam]

But the same can be said for people who have schizophrenia, borderline personality disorder, down syndrome etc.

exactly. people with downs syndrome would obviously have  abetter life if they didnt have it

[Celticgoddess]

But the same can be said for people who have schizophrenia, borderline personality disorder, down syndrome etc.

exactly. people with downs syndrome would obviously have  abetter life if they didnt have it

You're a nerd. That wasn't what I was trying to say. It's about you saying XYZ would be different if you weren't autistic. Same can be said if you had a host of other dx labels. But my thought is it would be a pretty damn boring place if everyone was the same.

What can I say? My Aspie side doesn't like change.

[benjimanbreeg]

People are all different, whatever they have.  A lot of them just like to follow the crowd or copy, cause they have weak personalities.  

[Adam]

if i didn't have AS though, the chances are things would be different in most, if not all of these ways:

youd get bullied less at school
youd be more independent, live alone
youd have girlfriends, relationships
you wouldn't have other things that come along with AS like social anxiety and depression

obviously some asspies can live alone and have relationships, but it's a lot harder and many of us can't do it at all even in their 20s and 30s

my being a retard might be interestong and entertaining to u cg but i find it shitty 

[The_Chosen_One]

benji
You still don't get it.  And i'm not whining about stuff I can't change.  And duh, Wrongplanet has a giveaway in the title.  We'd be fine if everything was made to suit us, but it isn't and never will be.  The feeling of being fucked off with the way things are, comes from autism, getting frustrated with yourself to the point of wanting to stick your head in a fire.  You'll never know that feeling truely.  So cut the crap

Again, bullshit. It isn't your autism or AS in itself that's making you feel that way. If that were the case, then every autistic person on the planet would be doped up to gills in some fucking mental home because they couldn't hack it. People whine about how shit they are, but the same goes for the average Joe doing his 9 to 5 and playing golf on the weekends. The reason you are feeling shit, is probably because you haven't fully accepted who you are DEEP INSIDE. Some call it searching for yourself; maybe it's what you need to do. Fuck labels and shit, you are who you are.

Soph
aspergers IS who we are inside. and yeah you could end up even worse if you took the cure, but look at the figures - they speak for themselves. you're much more likely to be depressed and have other mental problems if you are autistic. you're much less likely to have successful relationships and a career if you are autistic. you are much less likely to have genuine friendships if you are autistic. if i had been born an NT, i bet i would have a better life

Again, that isn't true. While you have autism or AS as a condition, it's NOT who you are as a person. I don't tend to take much stock in so-called research quoting figures about who people are supposed to be and whatever, that's just a lot of psychobabble there to confuse the issue. You make of your life what you can, and you take whatever is thrown at you and deal with it the best you can. You might be finding it hard now, Soph, but remember - you are only 21. You still have a fucking long life ahead of you. Time to do anything you want. Relationships WILL happen (and if they don't, who really cares?). There are plenty of careers for people, even with AS, out there; so you don't need to feel worried there. The only real problem is the feeling of insecurity that you amy be having in not fulfilling your dreams at the moment. Look at what you HAVE done, though. You are in 3rd year uni, doing a degree that can lead you to a good career, you are good with your forum and other tech stuff, and you are good with your pets. I know of plenty of people who DON'T have AS who would kill to be able to do HALF of that stuff. Be proud with your achievements. And don't get sucked into the belief that being NT would make you a better person, because the person you are is the one we all know and respect.