Thats weird, I read about this only earlier this morning. Well, weird, full stop, but thats a coincidence alright, I was going to post this myself, just got sidetracked by things like the need to buy one's daily bread, so to speak, as well as pick up med refills, take several different meds, get put to sleep deeply and for a long time by three or four of them.
I'd have had some fun with that, if I caught some weirdo licking my doorbell.
I'd cover it with superglue night after night.
Or with something like a powerfully delierent, although non-fatal dose of antimuscarinic nightshade alkaloids, atropine or scopolamine, something like that, or agent BZ, something that would send someone into a batshit-mental delirious nightmare world, mixed in with say, a fair sized dose of one of the more potent PCP analogs, dissolved in dimethylsulfoxide (a polar aprotic solvent, non-toxic, but with the unusual property of carrying whatever might be dissolved in it, through the skin on contact)
That would teach the weird little fucker not to go sucking my doorbell. Didn't he also piss all over the doorbell-lickee's lawn, too? I would definitely have some fun with that guy if it had been me been targeted, calling the filth wouldn't be nearly as hilarious as turning him into a psychotically delirious, amnesiac terrorized train wreck for the next 48 hours or thereabouts. And probably get him arrested, after he's been seen smoking imaginary cigarettes whilst arse naked, masturbating in the middle of the road and screaming about giant spiders. Oh yes, I'd have a lot of fun with a pervert like that.