I didn't exactly con them, I just had to pursuade the bugger to give me enough pain meds. Docs here in the UK are really over-conservative when it comes to opioids. My knee and my hip are getting a lot worse, as is the myoclonus problem that I have. The latter has caused seizures, and caused me to have a bad accident that resulted in me slicing my arm open in several places, three VERY narrowly missing tearing open an artery.
The clonidine I take is actually intended for suppressing overloads, does a great job, as well as helps me have a regular sleep pattern (which is otherwise all over the bloody place, random wake/sleep cycle and insomnia, sometimes I went without sleep for days at a time before I got on it)
But it also helps lessen the myoclonic jerking, and while on it, I've not had any fits.
Without my oxy, I am more or less housebound these days, often stuck lying on my good side, able to do nothing much but read, and use the computer, although I need a whole load of pillows and cushions on my chair so as to be able to sit down without feeling like I'm having red hot nails hammered into my hip, and my knee repeatedly stamped on.
When I went to town recently, on my pain meds, I actually thought I was going to get literally stuck there. Got so bad that I had to sit down and rest every few steps. All because the docs here are so fucking frit to give enough pain meds to anybody. Cancer patients do fine on that score, or people involved in traumatic accidents that have to have big pieces of debris pulled out of their bodies.
But other pain, no matter how severe, it took me YEARS of fighting to get on the dose of oxy I am on. Docs tried to give me just codeine, and then dihydrocodeine, which are just WAY too weak to do much. I could swallow an entire box of DHC, or take the maximum dose of codeine possible (the liver can only process 400-500mg at a time, depending on the individual and their personal enzymatic makeup in the liver dept.)
They do help, a little, better than nothing at all, but its completely impossible to get an adequate level of pain relief from either. Add to that the relatively short duration of action of DHC, it resulted in me going into withdrawal due to the peaks and troughs created in plasma levels as it was metabolized, even while taking it just as prescribed.
Thankfully I have an appt with a specialist pain clinic soon. Hopefully they won't be wet behind the ears when it comes to actually starting appropriate treatment.
On what I get now, I am always struggling just to get by. Having to resort to IVing the things sometimes in preparation for going out. I'm 26, and have to walk with a staff, or cane. I should not have to put up with being mostly confined to the house, able to manage walking to the shops but not much further. That is no life. All because the docs are too afraid to step up and do what is needed.
It isn't like I am about to overdose, I've studied opioid SAR extensively, I know the properties of most opioids, including plenty the docs will never have even heard of. I know enough not to turn blue and be found on the floor in the morning.
So whats worse? the possibility of...not sure what they are worried about actually. Whatever it is, weighed against a young guy, who is, unless he actually goes to the extent of shaving a quarter off his OCs, building them up, until I have a little spare, just so I can do the things I enjoy in life instead of being confined indoors, lying on my bed, with a pillow between my knees like an old, old man.
So yes, I am going to do anything and everything I can, to ensure that I get enough meds. I'm not asking them for a whole fucking ton of fentanyl or something. Just enough of a painkiller or painkillers to have a decent, free life, where every single step doesn't send lightening bolts of white hot agony through my leg and hip.
I dread having a cough for instance. If I cough, the sudden recoil is really damn painful. Even taking a shite hurts my hip.
