Author Topic: should you ask me something?  (Read 28624 times)

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Offline SovaNu

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Re: should you ask me something?
« Reply #600 on: July 25, 2007, 04:32:19 PM »
it's not just identity confusion, it's that i have this self-loathing and it makes it worse when i meet people and fuck things up with them.

I can relate.   I often in real life have problems filtering out my brutal honesty, this catches people off guard obviously.   Most can't handle it or my intolerance for opinions based on pure ignorance.   This drives people away.   I then get depressed about me acting that way, and the cycle continues.   I have been getting better at being "nice" especially online.   

yeah i do that too. though i'm not brutal but just embarassingly honest. there are things we're not supposed to say. and then my brain is muddied so i say things in a way that people don't understand and they get offended. or they are scared of my weirdness. either way it's destroyed my self image in a way and that causes self-loathing. i dunno how to fix it. i'm not saying boohoo why me, i know it was me that came here willingly and took on this person i am and made my own mistakes but there comes a point where you say enough. i'm done with making friends with people who will leave me or think i'm a freak or just by being there mirror what i think of myself when i imagine what they must be thinking of me. if it wasn't for the things i need to do in this life i'd wish to die and be born someone better.
"I think everybody has an asshole component to their personality. It's just a matter of how much you indulge it. Those who do it often form a habit. So like any addiction, you have to learn to overcome it."
~Lord Phlexor

"Sometimes stepping on one's own dick is a memorable learning experience."
~PPK

"We are all the sum of our tears. Too little and the ground is not fertile and nothing can grow there; too much, the best of us is washed away."
~Gkar

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Offline SovaNu

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Re: should you ask me something?
« Reply #601 on: July 25, 2007, 04:39:13 PM »
She is really good at making people like her here, but she has problems with driving people away in real life.   Can she translate her likeability on this site towards real life?    I doubt many here dislike you Milla, you have yet to drive any of us away it seems.

I wasn't meaning to be harsh Pea, just to get her to think about why she is so apprehensive about meeting people.   I know I need to think about things that I struggle with.   I know I can end friendships quite easily and never speak to someone ever again, I am excellent at burning bridges.

i'm excellent at burning bridges too. i've dumped my share of people. that's why i understand when they dump me. it's their godgiven right to dump anyone they want.

you speak the truth, i am good at making friends with people online and even off, but i've even met people i know online and they've dumped me afterwards because i was too freaky. that's fine, there's nothing i can do about it because this is who i am and that's who i was. i try to learn to play the game better, i learn from each mistake but each mistake leaves me less optimistic. it's like the past doesn't let go. if i could get a new life with all my memories it'd be better. a fresh start if you will. i suppose most people would like that but i feel i need it to have a fully functional life. but there are people with less functional lives, i can't complain.
« Last Edit: July 25, 2007, 04:47:26 PM by Björk »
"I think everybody has an asshole component to their personality. It's just a matter of how much you indulge it. Those who do it often form a habit. So like any addiction, you have to learn to overcome it."
~Lord Phlexor

"Sometimes stepping on one's own dick is a memorable learning experience."
~PPK

"We are all the sum of our tears. Too little and the ground is not fertile and nothing can grow there; too much, the best of us is washed away."
~Gkar

:blonde:

Offline maldoror

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Re: should you ask me something?
« Reply #602 on: July 25, 2007, 04:44:23 PM »
Should I ask you something?

yes. what would you like to ask then? :)

Are you Swedish?
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Offline SovaNu

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Re: should you ask me something?
« Reply #603 on: July 25, 2007, 04:45:45 PM »
it's not just identity confusion, it's that i have this self-loathing and it makes it worse when i meet people and fuck things up with them.
You are going to keep loathing yourself if you dont go out and do something about it. What is there about you to loathe?

i'm too honest with people and then they think i'm a freak. the aspie curse.
Hmm, did you know that being an aspie can be an advantage when lying. Not what you would expect really. The only problem is that you have to get over the moral barrier.

i can lie well when i can justify it to myself.
"I think everybody has an asshole component to their personality. It's just a matter of how much you indulge it. Those who do it often form a habit. So like any addiction, you have to learn to overcome it."
~Lord Phlexor

"Sometimes stepping on one's own dick is a memorable learning experience."
~PPK

"We are all the sum of our tears. Too little and the ground is not fertile and nothing can grow there; too much, the best of us is washed away."
~Gkar

:blonde:

Offline Christopher McCandless

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Re: should you ask me something?
« Reply #604 on: July 25, 2007, 04:47:14 PM »
it's not just identity confusion, it's that i have this self-loathing and it makes it worse when i meet people and fuck things up with them.
You are going to keep loathing yourself if you dont go out and do something about it. What is there about you to loathe?

i'm too honest with people and then they think i'm a freak. the aspie curse.
Hmm, did you know that being an aspie can be an advantage when lying. Not what you would expect really. The only problem is that you have to get over the moral barrier.

i can lie well when i can justify it to myself.
Isnt sorting your life out enough justification? Seriously, these are the people who shit on you because you fail to assimulate them. What is immoral about lying to them?

Offline SovaNu

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Re: should you ask me something?
« Reply #605 on: July 25, 2007, 04:48:18 PM »
"I think everybody has an asshole component to their personality. It's just a matter of how much you indulge it. Those who do it often form a habit. So like any addiction, you have to learn to overcome it."
~Lord Phlexor

"Sometimes stepping on one's own dick is a memorable learning experience."
~PPK

"We are all the sum of our tears. Too little and the ground is not fertile and nothing can grow there; too much, the best of us is washed away."
~Gkar

:blonde:

Offline Christopher McCandless

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Re: should you ask me something?
« Reply #606 on: July 25, 2007, 04:49:58 PM »

Offline SovaNu

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Re: should you ask me something?
« Reply #607 on: July 25, 2007, 04:51:30 PM »
it's not just identity confusion, it's that i have this self-loathing and it makes it worse when i meet people and fuck things up with them.
You are going to keep loathing yourself if you dont go out and do something about it. What is there about you to loathe?

i'm too honest with people and then they think i'm a freak. the aspie curse.
Hmm, did you know that being an aspie can be an advantage when lying. Not what you would expect really. The only problem is that you have to get over the moral barrier.

i can lie well when i can justify it to myself.
Isnt sorting your life out enough justification? Seriously, these are the people who shit on you because you fail to assimulate them. What is immoral about lying to them?

i've not been shit on, it's that people don't feel comfortable when someone is weird. i have my limits and they have theirs. there's no malice involved. and lying wouldn't fix things. lying would make me feel worse about myself even if i could fix things on some level.

it's not honesty that i could fix with lies, it's honesty where i've said things people aren't supposed to say. things that people don't want to hear. it's like Peter showing someone a picture of an asshole and they turn away traumatized. :P
"I think everybody has an asshole component to their personality. It's just a matter of how much you indulge it. Those who do it often form a habit. So like any addiction, you have to learn to overcome it."
~Lord Phlexor

"Sometimes stepping on one's own dick is a memorable learning experience."
~PPK

"We are all the sum of our tears. Too little and the ground is not fertile and nothing can grow there; too much, the best of us is washed away."
~Gkar

:blonde:

Offline maldoror

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Re: should you ask me something?
« Reply #608 on: July 25, 2007, 04:51:53 PM »
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Offline SovaNu

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"I think everybody has an asshole component to their personality. It's just a matter of how much you indulge it. Those who do it often form a habit. So like any addiction, you have to learn to overcome it."
~Lord Phlexor

"Sometimes stepping on one's own dick is a memorable learning experience."
~PPK

"We are all the sum of our tears. Too little and the ground is not fertile and nothing can grow there; too much, the best of us is washed away."
~Gkar

:blonde:

Offline SovaNu

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Re: should you ask me something?
« Reply #610 on: July 25, 2007, 04:53:26 PM »

Do you believe in global warming?

yes, as much as i believe the sky tends to be blue.
"I think everybody has an asshole component to their personality. It's just a matter of how much you indulge it. Those who do it often form a habit. So like any addiction, you have to learn to overcome it."
~Lord Phlexor

"Sometimes stepping on one's own dick is a memorable learning experience."
~PPK

"We are all the sum of our tears. Too little and the ground is not fertile and nothing can grow there; too much, the best of us is washed away."
~Gkar

:blonde:

Offline Christopher McCandless

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Re: should you ask me something?
« Reply #611 on: July 25, 2007, 04:55:25 PM »
it's not just identity confusion, it's that i have this self-loathing and it makes it worse when i meet people and fuck things up with them.
You are going to keep loathing yourself if you dont go out and do something about it. What is there about you to loathe?

i'm too honest with people and then they think i'm a freak. the aspie curse.
Hmm, did you know that being an aspie can be an advantage when lying. Not what you would expect really. The only problem is that you have to get over the moral barrier.

i can lie well when i can justify it to myself.
Isnt sorting your life out enough justification? Seriously, these are the people who shit on you because you fail to assimulate them. What is immoral about lying to them?

i've not been shit on, it's that people don't feel comfortable when someone is weird. i have my limits and they have theirs. there's no malice involved. and lying wouldn't fix things. lying would make me feel worse about myself even if i could fix things on some level.

it's not honesty that i could fix with lies, it's honesty where i've said things people aren't supposed to say. things that people don't want to hear. it's like Peter showing someone a
picture of an asshole and they turn away traumatized. :P
Why dont you keep you conversations dull then so you cant make as big a faux pas, then when people get more used to you be more honest. Really its a matter of thinking hard before you say something. If you put on an appearence also people are less likely to complain at your indiscretions. A quick lie does help when you make a faux pas, i get out of them all the time that way.

Offline Christopher McCandless

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Offline SovaNu

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Re: should you ask me something?
« Reply #613 on: July 25, 2007, 05:35:23 PM »
Why dont you keep you conversations dull then so you cant make as big a faux pas, then when people get more used to you be more honest. Really its a matter of thinking hard before you say something. If you put on an appearence also people are less likely to complain at your indiscretions. A quick lie does help when you make a faux pas, i get out of them all the time that way.

but i don't want to be a prisoner of a life like that. the few friends i have i can be myself with. i'm afraid of dullness even more than being weird.
"I think everybody has an asshole component to their personality. It's just a matter of how much you indulge it. Those who do it often form a habit. So like any addiction, you have to learn to overcome it."
~Lord Phlexor

"Sometimes stepping on one's own dick is a memorable learning experience."
~PPK

"We are all the sum of our tears. Too little and the ground is not fertile and nothing can grow there; too much, the best of us is washed away."
~Gkar

:blonde:

Offline SovaNu

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Re: should you ask me something?
« Reply #614 on: July 25, 2007, 05:36:09 PM »
Intuition.

sure. :P

you know, intuition is a spiritual concept.
"I think everybody has an asshole component to their personality. It's just a matter of how much you indulge it. Those who do it often form a habit. So like any addiction, you have to learn to overcome it."
~Lord Phlexor

"Sometimes stepping on one's own dick is a memorable learning experience."
~PPK

"We are all the sum of our tears. Too little and the ground is not fertile and nothing can grow there; too much, the best of us is washed away."
~Gkar

:blonde: