INTENSITY²
Start here => What's your crime? Basic Discussion => Topic started by: 'Butterflies' on June 13, 2010, 05:43:53 PM
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This probably isn't much of a surprise to anyone who's read many of my posts, but I've came to the conclusion that I'm almost certainly gay. I've spent most of my life trying to convince myself that I was straight. My parents and sisters are slightly homophobic and most of my friends made a lot of jokes about gays, so being gay was never really an option for me. Although I knew I had a major crush on my female best friend I somehow managed to convince myself this was a perfectly heterosexual thing :duh:. Since moving away from my friends and parents I've had a good chance to really think about what I really am without worrying about negative reactions from the people I'm close to.
The only people I really know here are my aunt, uncle and cousin and I decided to tell them today. They were all very supportive, it wasn't much of a surprise to any of them. One of the things that helped me realize I was gay was some of the questions some people had asked me on this site. I had been sure that I was bi, but having to think about some of the questions people were askig me helped me understand that was unlikely. So thanks :thumbup:
I've always had a problem with sex, and at least part of the problem in hindsight was the fact that I just didn't want to sleep with guys. I do kind of want to sleep with girls. When I walk down the street or drive around on my scooter I always find myself eyeing up woman, but never guys. All my crushes are towards women, but not towards guys. I do think some guys are very cute, I think Rafael Nadal is very good looking but I just wouldn't want to sleep with him.
I've no plans to come "out of the closet" to anyone IRL other than the 3 folk I mentioned. I'm supposed to be meeting my best friend very soon and I certainly won't be telling her. I definately won't be letting people in town know either, as this is a fairly small and very backwards town.
I'm not really sure why I'm starting a thread about it on the siite. I know it's probably a bit self-important making an anouncement to people who don't really know me, and who probably already knew I was gay before I did.
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It's OK to be a bit self-important here, it helps with postwhoring! :laugh:
Also, :thumbup:!
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thats cool. i can apprechiate your situation
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This probably isn't much of a surprise to anyone who's read many of my posts, but I've came to the conclusion that I'm almost certainly gay. I've spent most of my life trying to convince myself that I was straight. My parents and sisters are slightly homophobic and most of my friends made a lot of jokes about gays, so being gay was never really an option for me. Although I knew I had a major crush on my female best friend I somehow managed to convince myself this was a perfectly heterosexual thing :duh:. Since moving away from my friends and parents I've had a good chance to really think about what I really am without worrying about negative reactions from the people I'm close to.
The only people I really know here are my aunt, uncle and cousin and I decided to tell them today. They were all very supportive, it wasn't much of a surprise to any of them. One of the things that helped me realize I was gay was some of the questions some people had asked me on this site. I had been sure that I was bi, but having to think about some of the questions people were askig me helped me understand that was unlikely. So thanks :thumbup:
I've always had a problem with sex, and at least part of the problem in hindsight was the fact that I just didn't want to sleep with guys. I do kind of want to sleep with girls. When I walk down the street or drive around on my scooter I always find myself eyeing up woman, but never guys. All my crushes are towards women, but not towards guys. I do think some guys are very cute, I think Rafael Nadal is very good looking but I just wouldn't want to sleep with him.
I've no plans to come "out of the closet" to anyone IRL other than the 3 folk I mentioned. I'm supposed to be meeting my best friend very soon and I certainly won't be telling her. I definately won't be letting people in town know either, as this is a fairly small and very backwards town.
I'm not really sure why I'm starting a thread about it on the siite. I know it's probably a bit self-important making an anouncement to people who don't really know me, and who probably already knew I was gay before I did.
Sounds awful. (Not the being gay bit but the trying to hide from yourself)
I try to conform to societal expectations in not being Aspie. I repress. That must not be nearly as bad as repressing your sexuality or feeling a sense of being wrong to feel what you naturally feel.
Big hugs mate and well done for being brave and allowing yourself o be comfortable being you
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^^^
^^
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What they said.
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It can all be very confusing. I hardly look at men in the street but ALWAYs look at women, and im not attracted to them at all.
But I think its great finally being able to admit it - it's the first step. I wish you all the best and some day I think you will make a lady very happy. ;)
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I'm supposed to be meeting my best friend very soon and I certainly won't be telling her.
Maybe she's in the closet too? You could both be missing out.
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Thanks to everyone for being supportive :2thumbsup:. Believe it or not, untill I moved away from Scotland I had no idea at all that I wasn't straight.
I'm supposed to be meeting my best friend very soon and I certainly won't be telling her.
Maybe she's in the closet too? You could both be missing out.
Sadly, I'm pretty sure she's not. She's never without a guy for more than a few weeks, and when she is single she just has loads of one-night stands. She's says she's not homophobic but she does say some stuff that makes me think that that that deep down she isn't as open-minded as she likes to think she is.
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I did't admit to myself that I was trans till I was 17
I think admitting it to yourself is actually the hardest thing
if you don't feel ok with telling your friend then just dont. maybe with time that will change, but there's no need to rush into tellig everyone if youre not sure about how theyll react. hopefully theyll react well tho.
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I did't admit to myself that I was trans till I was 17
I think admitting it to yourself is actually the hardest thing
if you don't feel ok with telling your friend then just dont. maybe with time that will change, but there's no need to rush into tellig everyone if youre not sure about how theyll react. hopefully theyll react well tho.
I think you might be right about admitting it to yourself being the hardest bit. Deep down I always wanted to do the whole normal life thing, get married and have a couple of kids. I've always loved babies and I've alqways got on really well with young kids. I find them easier to get along with than adults. I really wanted to be a mum someday. Admitting this to myself means admitting to myself that none of that is likely to happen.
I definately won't be rushing into telling people in my town. There's an openly gay couple and a guy that everyone says is gay but he isn't "out." The gay couple were bullied out of their house, and the guy who might be gay can't walk down the street without having kids shout abuse at him. His windows have been smashed aswell and his car tyres have been slashed a lot of times.
This is a very religious town, and very homophobic. I like to be anonymous, but if I were to be openly gay I would be the talk of the town. Everyone would know who I am. The thought of dealing with what those other people have had to deal with makes me pretty sure I'll keep this a secret as long as I can.
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Being honest with yourself is what matters. Nothing else.
Normal doesn't exist anyways, and being gay doesn't mean that someday you can't be a mom or have kids, you just might have to go about it differently. ;)
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I don't think I could adopt. I think they have some kind of psychological test for people who want to adopt. I would certainly fail. If I ever was in a gay relationship and still living in this country I don't think it would be fair to have children anyway, the abuse they'd be subjected to in school would probably be horrendous. It wouldn't be right of me to put anybody through that.
I knoiw I could never raise a child by myself. The only way I could bring up a child properly would be if I had a partner who was for more sensible and responsible than myself.
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i would just like to say its been my experiance when dealing with homophobes that the more homophobic they are the chances of them being GAY are about as pink as thier toenail polish they have under there shoes. there so ghey infact that it turns there "unfortunate" situation into hate. its like freaking reverse phsycology or something
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i would just like to say its been my experiance when dealing with homophobes that the more homophobic they are the chances of them being GAY are about as pink as thier toenail polish they have under there shoes. there so ghey infact that it turns there "unfortunate" situation into hate. its like freaking reverse phsycology or something
It's called reaction formation.
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thank you for telling me what the science was. :plus:
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I did't admit to myself that I was trans till I was 17
I think admitting it to yourself is actually the hardest thing
if you don't feel ok with telling your friend then just dont. maybe with time that will change, but there's no need to rush into tellig everyone if youre not sure about how theyll react. hopefully theyll react well tho.
I think you might be right about admitting it to yourself being the hardest bit. Deep down I always wanted to do the whole normal life thing, get married and have a couple of kids. I've always loved babies and I've alqways got on really well with young kids. I find them easier to get along with than adults. I really wanted to be a mum someday. Admitting this to myself means admitting to myself that none of that is likely to happen.
I definately won't be rushing into telling people in my town. There's an openly gay couple and a guy that everyone says is gay but he isn't "out." The gay couple were bullied out of their house, and the guy who might be gay can't walk down the street without having kids shout abuse at him. His windows have been smashed aswell and his car tyres have been slashed a lot of times.
This is a very religious town, and very homophobic. I like to be anonymous, but if I were to be openly gay I would be the talk of the town. Everyone would know who I am. The thought of dealing with what those other people have had to deal with makes me pretty sure I'll keep this a secret as long as I can.
I grew up in a small town in Ayrshire, and although I was too young at the time to notice, my mum hated all the gossiping that went on about her marriage problems with my dad. When I was 8, my parents divorced and I moved to an even smaller village with my mum, and although I don't think there was gossip about marriage issues, there was still an uncomfortable 'everyone in everyone else's business' feeling to the place. I wouldn't want to be known as being different in any small town or village, religious or not. Things are better now that we live in a suburb just outside of Glasgow; people mostly mind their own business and it's easy to be fairly anonymous here.
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"You need to live out your own truth, whatever that may be"
That's something I try to live by. When you make peace with yourself, it makes the journey a lot easier, no matter what path you're on.
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I don't think I could adopt. I think they have some kind of psychological test for people who want to adopt. I would certainly fail. If I ever was in a gay relationship and still living in this country I don't think it would be fair to have children anyway, the abuse they'd be subjected to in school would probably be horrendous. It wouldn't be right of me to put anybody through that.
I knoiw I could never raise a child by myself. The only way I could bring up a child properly would be if I had a partner who was for more sensible and responsible than myself.
I hate to sound cliched, but you are still very young, and your future might work out better than you can imagine it today. :viking:
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nothing matters but who you love and how. forget what your family thinks. good on you for being "straight" with yourself.
as for adoption. i'd choose to have gay parents if that meant i would get open minded caring parents. don't sell your kids short.
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nothing matters but who you love and how. forget what your family thinks. good on you for being "straight" with yourself.
as for adoption. i'd choose to have gay parents if that meant i would get open minded caring parents. don't sell your kids short.
:agreed: Most kids get picked on for one thing or another by their bitchy little peers;
if they have strong support elsewhere (from a wonderful mum, for instance), they can get through it OK.
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we tend to think what good are we, but really, there are kids who need parents who love them. don't care about being gay. i was picked on, i didn't have gay parents. if you get picked on you do, what you need is a strong home that supports you. you're not who gets your kids picked on, it's society. if you teach your kids to be accepting and smart and wise, you've done your job. that's what i'd ask of my parents.
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You're not gay, you're a lesbian. Women can't be gay unless they mean happy.
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she's whatever she identifies as. if that's gay then she's gay
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You're not gay, you're a lesbian. Women can't be gay unless they mean happy.
I didn't know that. I am a very happy person, so I suppose that makes me a gay lesbian ;)
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You're not gay, you're a lesbian. Women can't be gay unless they mean happy.
I didn't know that. I am a very happy person, so I suppose that makes me a gay lesbian ;)
Wow. See what happens when you leave home? Now you're twice as gay you thought you were. :laugh:
Btw, you can say gay/lesbian it doesn't really matter.
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Wouldn't it be the same as calling a waitress a waiter or a waiter a waitress or a widow a widower or a widower a widow?
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Can't argue with good old semantics. Kit has a point.
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I thought 'gay' was a unisex term.
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I thought 'gay' was a unisex term.
Agreed. Over time it has come to mean more than one thing.
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"You need to live out your own truth, whatever that may be"
That's something I try to live by. When you make peace with yourself, it makes the journey a lot easier, no matter what path you're on.
QFT
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i hate semantics.
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i hate semantics.
But sometimes it's fun to argue about the correct word! Like when I say I am a Weeble and you say I am an egg! :laugh:
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You're not gay, you're a lesbian. Women can't be gay unless they mean happy.
Words can have several meanings. Bloody aspie.
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You're not gay, you're a lesbian. Women can't be gay unless they mean happy.
Words can have several meanings. Bloody aspie.
Bloody Hobbit ;)
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You're not gay, you're a lesbian. Women can't be gay unless they mean happy.
Words can have several meanings. Bloody aspie.
Bloody Hobbit ;)
:laugh:
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You're not gay, you're a lesbian. Women can't be gay unless they mean happy.
Words can have several meanings. Bloody aspie.
Bloody Hobbit ;)
Hush Munchkin, go back to the wonderful wizard of Oz. :laugh:
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Agreed. Over time it has come to mean more than one thing.
True, but that doesn't mean it really means lame either, or maybe it does.
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Then again, gay didn't always mean homosexual either. The kids now-a-days seem to think everything's gay. Wonder what will be next.
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Then again, gay didn't always mean homosexual either. The kids now-a-days seem to think everything's gay. Wonder what will be next.
'poly'? :laugh:
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:laugh:
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But the OP meant homosexual, so gay was the wrong word unless she is a guy. :LOL:
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For females, gay and lesbian are interchangeable terms.
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I'm willing to bet you're bi, butterflies. That doesn't make you gay. It makes you fun at parties. :zoinks:
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I'm willing to bet you're bi, butterflies. That doesn't make you gay. It makes you fun at parties. :zoinks:
:lol:
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i hate semantics.
But sometimes it's fun to argue about the correct word! Like when I say I am a Weeble and you say I am an egg! :laugh:
i'm just right. :laugh:
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i hate semantics.
But sometimes it's fun to argue about the correct word! Like when I say I am a Weeble and you say I am an egg! :laugh:
i'm just right. :laugh:
My custom title is correct, but I see why you might mistake me for an egg! :2thumbsup:
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how dare you? :laugh: i'm not a mistake!
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I am
a tragic accident
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but my mum still loves me
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how dare you? :laugh: i'm not a mistake!
I didn't say you were a mistake. You are in fact a citrus fruit, who has made a mistake! :laugh:
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but my mum still loves me
Yes she does, and your brothers and pets do too, and others as well. :)
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how dare you? :laugh: i'm not a mistake!
I didn't say you were a mistake. You are in fact a citrus fruit, who has made a mistake! :laugh:
that coming from someone who came out of a chickens butt!
but my mum still loves me
Yes she does, and your brothers and pets do too, and others as well. :)
i told you she'd love you... even if you were a traffic accident. :headbang2:
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It is probably always a good thing to be honest with yourself. Congratulations on your advancement on the path to self-discovery and actualization! Being in denial over something is not healthy. Hopefully you find some sort of relief from this admittance.
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yeah relief. :laugh:
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yeah relief. :laugh:
I can relieve myself with just one hand now.
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since when can't you?
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since when can't you?
When there are other people in the room looking at me. I need one hand to fight them off.
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I can't wait for the day when gay people say we are in love rather than we came out.
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I can't wait for the day when gay people say we are in love rather than we came out.
:indeed:
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I can't wait for the day when gay people say we are in love rather than we came out.
or when gay people can say they just want to frolic and fuck and cheat and screw ::)
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I can't wait for the day when gay people say we are in love rather than we came out.
or when gay people can say they just want to frolic and fuck and cheat and screw ::)
Huh?
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I can't wait for the day when gay people say we are in love rather than we came out.
or when gay people can say they just want to frolic and fuck and cheat and screw ::)
Huh?
That's a freedom straight people still haven't won completely either. :P
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Kewl :) Also, pleez don't feel that u need a category. Categories are primitive. U like what u like ;)
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I can't wait for the day when gay people say we are in love rather than we came out.
or when gay people can say they just want to frolic and fuck and cheat and screw ::)
toss you into that salad.
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I can't wait for the day when gay people say we are in love rather than we came out.
You say cool shit sometimes.
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I can't wait for the day when gay people say we are in love rather than we came out.
You say cool shit sometimes.
all the time.
You understand my shit sometimes.
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I can't wait for the day when gay people say we are in love rather than we came out.
You say cool shit sometimes.
all the time.
You understand my shit sometimes.
You two are going on a road trip if I have to drive you myself! :laugh:
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Being gay is cool. actually I dont really care about who anybody loves
Infact, I dont care about much in life. Why? its simple. or a simple way of life
:zoinks:
Caring about too much creates issues or me. makes me act like someone I do not really want to be
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I can't wait for the day when gay people say we are in love rather than we came out.
You say cool shit sometimes.
all the time.
You understand my shit sometimes.
You two are going on a road trip if I have to drive you myself! :laugh:
That would be a good sitcom premise. :P
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I can't wait for the day when gay people say we are in love rather than we came out.
You say cool shit sometimes.
all the time.
You understand my shit sometimes.
You two are going on a road trip if I have to drive you myself! :laugh:
That would be a good sitcom premise. :P
What if we all moved into the same neighborhood and made a reality TV show out of it?
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McJ doesn't even come here anymore. It would be a boring show.
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McJ doesn't even come here anymore.
Why not?
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McJ doesn't even come here anymore.
Why not?
Sometimes he decides to be lame and pay attention to his family instead of teh interwebz.
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McJ doesn't even come here anymore.
Why not?
Sometimes he decides to be lame and pay attention to his family instead of teh interwebz.
It's pretty lame. It's a bit like, you know, as if he had an actual life.
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McJ doesn't even come here anymore.
Why not?
Sometimes he decides to be lame and pay attention to his family instead of teh interwebz.
It's pretty lame. It's a bit like, you know, as if he had an actual life.
inorite? What a dick.
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McJ doesn't even come here anymore.
Why not?
Sometimes he decides to be lame and pay attention to his family instead of teh interwebz.
It's pretty lame. It's a bit like, you know, as if he had an actual life.
inorite? What a dick.
Smh. :jaded:
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McJ doesn't even come here anymore.
Why not?
Sometimes he decides to be lame and pay attention to his family instead of teh interwebz.
It's pretty lame. It's a bit like, you know, as if he had an actual life.
inorite? What a dick.
Smh. :jaded:
:headhurts:
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He should come back anyway.