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Author Topic: make someone laugh  (Read 123166 times)

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ozymandias

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #360 on: December 26, 2006, 06:40:32 PM »
+ For the Sacred Outhouse

+ for the quote, as I can't justify posting a + someone gave me in the member's choice forum.  That would just be way too cheesy.

 :cheese:

Offline El

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #361 on: December 27, 2006, 02:26:50 PM »
A woman's husband, Arthur, disappeared so she reported him missing to the police. Some time later the police called her and asked her to come to a location, which turned out to be an artist's studio. The officer in charge explained that the artist had been killing people and using them as the base for his statues. "Yes," the woman replied, peering at one of the figures, "but is it Art?"
it is well known that PMS Elle is evil.
I think you'd fit in a 12" or at least a 16" firework mortar
You win this thread because that's most unsettling to even think about.

Offline DirtDawg

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #362 on: December 27, 2006, 02:39:21 PM »
(hot tea came out of my nose)(I should have known better)(it hurt like hell)(it sure smelled good, though)


:LMAO:
Jimi Hendrix: When the power of love overcomes the love of power the world will know peace. 

Ghandi: Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.

The end result of life's daily pain and suffering, trials and failures, tears and laughter, readings and listenings is an accumulation of wisdom in its purest form.

Offline DirtDawg

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #363 on: December 29, 2006, 01:22:21 AM »
I wonder if these two companies have considered a merger.
« Last Edit: December 29, 2006, 01:24:37 AM by DirtDawg »
Jimi Hendrix: When the power of love overcomes the love of power the world will know peace. 

Ghandi: Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.

The end result of life's daily pain and suffering, trials and failures, tears and laughter, readings and listenings is an accumulation of wisdom in its purest form.

Offline DirtDawg

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #364 on: December 29, 2006, 01:25:49 AM »
Please, don't tell him.
Jimi Hendrix: When the power of love overcomes the love of power the world will know peace. 

Ghandi: Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.

The end result of life's daily pain and suffering, trials and failures, tears and laughter, readings and listenings is an accumulation of wisdom in its purest form.

ozymandias

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #365 on: December 29, 2006, 07:20:34 AM »
I wonder if these two companies have considered a merger.

 :LMAO: +   I wonder how many other people have made the "connection".

Consider the commercial possibilities, "So come on down to Dick's Sporting Goods, we're right after BJ's in the mall".

Offline El

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #366 on: December 29, 2006, 07:52:08 AM »
I wonder if these two companies have considered a merger.

Is the photo undoctored?  I've seen them near the same area but never in the same plaza.
it is well known that PMS Elle is evil.
I think you'd fit in a 12" or at least a 16" firework mortar
You win this thread because that's most unsettling to even think about.

Offline DirtDawg

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #367 on: December 29, 2006, 08:31:22 AM »
I wonder if these two companies have considered a merger.

Is the photo undoctored?  I've seen them near the same area but never in the same plaza.

I don't know. I saw it on a pic thread at a music forum, I frequent, with the question "Does this give anyone ideas?" That was just my first idea. I think it might be interesting to park in between to get to both places, easier, if that's your thing. Help me out, please. I'm working on reduced resources, today.
Jimi Hendrix: When the power of love overcomes the love of power the world will know peace. 

Ghandi: Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.

The end result of life's daily pain and suffering, trials and failures, tears and laughter, readings and listenings is an accumulation of wisdom in its purest form.

Offline El

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #368 on: December 29, 2006, 04:33:03 PM »
it is well known that PMS Elle is evil.
I think you'd fit in a 12" or at least a 16" firework mortar
You win this thread because that's most unsettling to even think about.

Offline DirtDawg

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #369 on: December 30, 2006, 09:23:18 AM »
A belated, politically correct, legal staff approved seasonal greeting for all:

Please accept with no obligation, implied or implicit, my best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially responsible, low-stress, un-addictive, gender-neutral celebration of the winter solstice holiday, practiced within the most enjoyable traditions of the religious persuasion of your choice, or secular practices of your choice, with respect for the religious/secular persuasion and/or traditions of others, or their choice not to practice religious or secular traditions at all. 
 
 
I also wish you a fiscally successful, personally fulfilling and medically uncomplicated recognition of the onset of the generally accepted calendar year 2007, but not without due respect for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions to society have helped make America great. 
 
 
Not to imply that America is necessarily greater than either any other country or the only America in the Western Hemisphere. Also, this wish is made without regard to the race, creed, color, age, physical ability, religious faith or sexual preference of the wishee. 
 
 
By accepting these greetings, you are accepting the aforementioned terms as stated. This greeting is not subject to clarification or 
withdrawal. It is freely transferable with no alteration to the 
original greeting. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement any of the wishes for herself/himself/others, and is void where prohibited by law and is revocable at the sole discretion of the 
wisher. 
 
 
This wish is warranted to perform as expected within the usual application of good tidings for a period of one year or until the 
issuance of a subsequent holiday greeting, whichever comes first, and warranty is limited to replacement of this wish or issuance of a new wish at the sole discretion of the wisher. 
 

Half a page to replace Merry Christmas ans Happy new Year ...
« Last Edit: December 30, 2006, 09:28:39 AM by DirtDawg »
Jimi Hendrix: When the power of love overcomes the love of power the world will know peace. 

Ghandi: Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.

The end result of life's daily pain and suffering, trials and failures, tears and laughter, readings and listenings is an accumulation of wisdom in its purest form.

Offline El

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #370 on: December 30, 2006, 09:58:27 AM »
I have discovered a cache of geeky humor.
























More to come.
it is well known that PMS Elle is evil.
I think you'd fit in a 12" or at least a 16" firework mortar
You win this thread because that's most unsettling to even think about.

Offline El

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #371 on: December 30, 2006, 10:07:37 AM »

(to reiterate)









it is well known that PMS Elle is evil.
I think you'd fit in a 12" or at least a 16" firework mortar
You win this thread because that's most unsettling to even think about.

Litigious

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #372 on: December 30, 2006, 10:25:21 AM »
The last one is just so fucking right.

Offline odeon

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #373 on: December 30, 2006, 06:33:31 PM »
Crazy bitch + :laugh:
"Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former."

- Albert Einstein

Offline El

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #374 on: December 30, 2006, 07:39:49 PM »
Rules of Drunk Dialing:

1. Only drunk dial when you are drunk. Everything else is false advertisement.

2. It is okay to call someone 27 times in one night. If you don’t remember it, it didn’t happen.

3. If you are going to drunk dial a family member, say something nice. Ex. “Mom, I’m in McDonald’s and they’re playing our song. I love you.”

4. Dirty talk while drunk dialing is always preferred. Who doesn’t want to hear your best raspy, phone sex voice at 3 in the A.M. asking to bend them over something??

5. Voicemails are always better. This way your friend can let their friends have fun at your expense for days, even weeks to come.

6. Drunk texting is alright… if you are prepared to read what you wrote the next day when you are sober.

7. It is definitely a good idea to call all of your exes and remind them that you were the best lover they’ve ever had and everything they know, they learned from you. This way you can sleep well at night.

8. You can also call this same ex and let him/her know, that you know that he/she still loves you. Then explain to him/her that “I would still love me too!”

9. If you are a frequent dialer, never get mad if someone dials you. Be happy they thought of you in this special time.

10. It is always a good idea to sing on someone’s answering machine or voicemail. Especially a show tune.

11. Drunk dialing should be fun and light hearted or dirty and sex crazed… never angry.

12. Most likely you will never drunk dial your best friends. They are usually the ones taking your phone away and reminding you that “you have a problem”.

13. If you deleted a number sober, it was probably for a good reason. Do not try to retrieve this number. Nothing good can come from it.

14. Always call someone you know. Finding random numbers in phone books is bad and usually leads to angry dialing.

15. If your cell phone dies, remember everything happens for a reason. Never borrow a friend’s phone to do your dialing.

16. Drunk dialing to a foreign country is usually too costly to be a good idea. But, if you really feel like if you don’t call this person you’ll just die, break rule 15 and use a friend’s phone.

17. Drunk dialing may lead to drunk muffin stuffing… be prepared.

18. When dialing remember that “hanging out” at 3 in the a.m. usually doesn’t involve cards it’s probably going to be more like cheap lube and handcuffs. So be prepared when you really do want to play X-box when your drunk… “you want me to do what with your box? Play with it?”

19. Don’t drunk dial in the pool, tub, or rainstorm. It only ends up with you blow drying your phone when your far too drunk to be using electronics and you won’t be able to drunk dial anymore that night.

20. Never, I repeat, never drunk dial your boss, preacher, grandpa, or friend’s parents. If you are that hard up to call someone, there is an 800 number on Budweiser boxes. The person on the other line always sounds cute, plus I think they are used to drunk dialers.
it is well known that PMS Elle is evil.
I think you'd fit in a 12" or at least a 16" firework mortar
You win this thread because that's most unsettling to even think about.