Author Topic: make someone laugh  (Read 123141 times)

0 Members and 7 Guests are viewing this topic.

Offline El

  • Unofficial Weird News Reporter of the Aspie Elite
  • News Box Slave
  • Almighty Postwhore
  • *****
  • Posts: 21926
  • Karma: 2615
Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #6300 on: July 17, 2011, 03:53:34 PM »
it is well known that PMS Elle is evil.
I think you'd fit in a 12" or at least a 16" firework mortar
You win this thread because that's most unsettling to even think about.

Offline Queen Victoria

  • Ruler of Aspie Universe
  • Elder
  • Almighty Postwhore
  • *****
  • Posts: 28244
  • Karma: 2805
  • Gender: Female
Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #6301 on: July 20, 2011, 09:44:40 PM »
Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson went on a camping trip. After a good meal and a bottle of wine they laid down for the night, and went to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend.

"Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."

Watson replied, "I see millions and millions of stars."

"What does that tell you?"

Watson pondered for a minute.

"Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo. Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three. Theologically, I can see that God is all-powerful and that we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you?"

Holmes was silent for a minute, then spoke. "It tells me that someone has stolen our tent."
A good monarch is a treasure. A good politician is an oxymoron.

My brain is both uninhibited and uninhabited.

:qv:

Offline Queen Victoria

  • Ruler of Aspie Universe
  • Elder
  • Almighty Postwhore
  • *****
  • Posts: 28244
  • Karma: 2805
  • Gender: Female
Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #6302 on: July 20, 2011, 09:46:07 PM »
An elderly woman had just returned to her home from an evening worship service and was startled to find an intruder in her house.

Catching the man in the act of burglarizing her home, she yelled, "STOP! Acts 2:38!" ("Repent and be baptized, every one of you, in the name of Jesus Christ so that your sins may be forgiven.")

As the burglar stopped dead in his tracks, the woman calmly called the police and explained what she had done. Shortly, several officers arrived and took the man into custody.

As he was placing the handcuffs on the burglar, one of the officers asked, "Why did you just stand there? All the lady did was mention a scripture verse."

"Scripture?" replied the burglar.

"She said she had an axe and two 38's!"

A good monarch is a treasure. A good politician is an oxymoron.

My brain is both uninhibited and uninhabited.

:qv:

Offline Squidusa

  • Cephalopod Succubus of the Aspie Elite
  • Elder
  • Insane Postwhore
  • *****
  • Posts: 10534
  • Karma: 742
  • I can haz Perseus?
Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #6303 on: July 23, 2011, 11:07:52 AM »
:LMAO:

I'll just diagnose myself as Goddess of the Universe and have done with it. Hell with autism!  :green: :zoinks:

nice is just something written on biscuits.  

Offline El

  • Unofficial Weird News Reporter of the Aspie Elite
  • News Box Slave
  • Almighty Postwhore
  • *****
  • Posts: 21926
  • Karma: 2615
Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #6304 on: July 24, 2011, 02:14:48 PM »
it is well known that PMS Elle is evil.
I think you'd fit in a 12" or at least a 16" firework mortar
You win this thread because that's most unsettling to even think about.

Offline El

  • Unofficial Weird News Reporter of the Aspie Elite
  • News Box Slave
  • Almighty Postwhore
  • *****
  • Posts: 21926
  • Karma: 2615
Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #6305 on: July 24, 2011, 02:15:26 PM »


...

...

THEOK!!!!  Get over here!!!
it is well known that PMS Elle is evil.
I think you'd fit in a 12" or at least a 16" firework mortar
You win this thread because that's most unsettling to even think about.

Offline El

  • Unofficial Weird News Reporter of the Aspie Elite
  • News Box Slave
  • Almighty Postwhore
  • *****
  • Posts: 21926
  • Karma: 2615
Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #6306 on: July 24, 2011, 02:30:02 PM »
it is well known that PMS Elle is evil.
I think you'd fit in a 12" or at least a 16" firework mortar
You win this thread because that's most unsettling to even think about.

Offline Squidusa

  • Cephalopod Succubus of the Aspie Elite
  • Elder
  • Insane Postwhore
  • *****
  • Posts: 10534
  • Karma: 742
  • I can haz Perseus?
Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #6307 on: July 25, 2011, 11:28:26 AM »
I'll just diagnose myself as Goddess of the Universe and have done with it. Hell with autism!  :green: :zoinks:

nice is just something written on biscuits.  

Offline skyblue1

  • Overlooked of the Aspie Elite
  • Elder
  • Obsessive Postwhore
  • *****
  • Posts: 8945
  • Karma: 737
  • Gender: Male
Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #6308 on: July 25, 2011, 05:37:11 PM »



Offline Trigger 11

  • Dark Jedi Master
  • Elder
  • Obsessive Postwhore
  • *****
  • Posts: 8747
  • Karma: 438
  • May the FORCE be with you...always!!!
Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #6309 on: July 26, 2011, 04:47:46 PM »
In my USC Software Safety Course a slide had the following bullet:

HARD AND SOFT HARDWARE FAULTS

Made me think of you guys!
Crazy, I'm halfway to crazy
Suicide would waste me
Homicide would break me
Tongue tied and tied to the tongue
Tongue tied and tied to the tongue
Oh, is life as bad as dreams
I guess that's just the way it seems

Offline skyblue1

  • Overlooked of the Aspie Elite
  • Elder
  • Obsessive Postwhore
  • *****
  • Posts: 8945
  • Karma: 737
  • Gender: Male
Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #6310 on: July 26, 2011, 05:01:13 PM »
In my USC Software Safety Course a slide had the following bullet:

HARD AND SOFT HARDWARE FAULTS

Made me think of you guys!
errrr, which USC?

Offline Trigger 11

  • Dark Jedi Master
  • Elder
  • Obsessive Postwhore
  • *****
  • Posts: 8747
  • Karma: 438
  • May the FORCE be with you...always!!!
Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #6311 on: July 26, 2011, 05:06:03 PM »
Trojans
Crazy, I'm halfway to crazy
Suicide would waste me
Homicide would break me
Tongue tied and tied to the tongue
Tongue tied and tied to the tongue
Oh, is life as bad as dreams
I guess that's just the way it seems

Offline skyblue1

  • Overlooked of the Aspie Elite
  • Elder
  • Obsessive Postwhore
  • *****
  • Posts: 8945
  • Karma: 737
  • Gender: Male
Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #6312 on: July 26, 2011, 05:20:34 PM »
Trojans
LOL I am a fan of the other USC....even though we cant legally use that abbreviation any longer

Offline Trigger 11

  • Dark Jedi Master
  • Elder
  • Obsessive Postwhore
  • *****
  • Posts: 8747
  • Karma: 438
  • May the FORCE be with you...always!!!
Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #6313 on: July 26, 2011, 06:20:19 PM »
The 'Cocks? They eliminated my Virginia Cavaliers on their way to the College World Series title last month. I posted on fb when they played to "Beat The 'Cocks!"

Come to think of it...

USC Trojans

USC 'Cocks

Coincidence?!?!

When I was at Miami we played The 'Cocks in football and baseball and I almost hooked up with a girl from their at a Bowling Tournament at GT. I was on the Miami team and she bowled for the Women 'Cocks. No, she wasn't portly. She was hawt. Most of the Women Bowlers were...surprisingly hawt. Funny memories! To me, anyway.
Crazy, I'm halfway to crazy
Suicide would waste me
Homicide would break me
Tongue tied and tied to the tongue
Tongue tied and tied to the tongue
Oh, is life as bad as dreams
I guess that's just the way it seems

Offline skyblue1

  • Overlooked of the Aspie Elite
  • Elder
  • Obsessive Postwhore
  • *****
  • Posts: 8945
  • Karma: 737
  • Gender: Male
Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #6314 on: July 26, 2011, 06:47:25 PM »
The 'Cocks? They eliminated my Virginia Cavaliers on their way to the College World Series title last month. I posted on fb when they played to "Beat The 'Cocks!"

Come to think of it...

USC Trojans

USC 'Cocks

Coincidence?!?!

When I was at Miami we played The 'Cocks in football and baseball and I almost hooked up with a girl from their at a Bowling Tournament at GT. I was on the Miami team and she bowled for the Women 'Cocks. No, she wasn't portly. She was hawt. Most of the Women Bowlers were...surprisingly hawt. Funny memories! To me, anyway.
Quite a few hawt southern girls.

Took a minute, but I caught on to the Trojans ~ Cocks thing...LOL