These paraprosdokians come from Prince Albert's monthly newsletter from his church. Any more that you know of?
Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
To steal ideas from one person is plagarism. To steal from many is research.
Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says, "If an emergency, notify:" I put 'Doctor.'
How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!
I used to be indecisive. Now I'm not sure.
I always take life with a grain of salt, plus a slice of lemon and a shot of tequila.
Some people hear voices. Some see invisible people. Others have no imagination whatsoever.
Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
