make someone laugh

[Blasted]

Demon baby 

[earthboundmisfit]

[Callaway]

Dear Sir/madam/automated telephone answering service
Having spent the past twenty minutes waiting for someone at Leith police
station to pick up a telephone I have decided to abandon the idea and
try e-mailing you instead. Perhaps you would be so kind as to pass this
meassage on to your colleagues in Leith by means of smoke signal, carrier pigeon or Ouija board.
As I’m writing this e-mail there are eleven failed medical experiments
(I think you call them youths) in West Cromwell Street which is just off
Commercial Street in Leith . Six of them seem happy enough to play a game
which involves kicking a football against an iron gate with the force of
a meteorite. This causes an earth shattering CLANG! which rings throughout
the entire building. This game is now in it’s third week and as I am
unsure how the scoring sytem works, I have no idea if it will end any time
soon.
The remaining five walking abortions are happily rummaging through several
bags of rubbish and items of furniture that someone has so thoughtfully
dumped beside the wheelie bins. One of them has found a saw and is
setting about a discarded chair like a beaver on speed. I fear that it’s only a
matter of time before they turn their limited attention to the bottle of
calor gas that is lying on it’s side between the two bins. If they could
be relied on to only blow their own arms and legs off then I would happily
leave them to it. I would even go so far as to lend them the matches.
Unfortuneatly they are far more likely to blow up half the street with
Them and I’ve just finished decorating the kitchen.
What I suggest is this. after replying to this e-mail with worthless
assurances that the matter is being looked into and will be dealt with,
why not leave it until the one night of the year (probably bath night) when
there are no mutants around then drive up the street in a panda car
before doing a three point turn and disappearing again. This will of course
serve no other purpose than to remind us what policemen actually look like.
I trust that when I take a clawhammer to the skull of one of these
throwbacks you’ll do me the same courtesy of giving me a four month head
start before coming to arrest me.
I remain sir, your obedient servant
********

Mr *******,
I have read your e-mail and understand your frustration at the problems
caused by youths playing in the area and the problems you have
encountered in trying to contact the police.
As the Community Beat Officer for your street I would like to extend an
offer of discussing the matter fully with you.
Should you wish to discuss the matter, please provide contact details
(address / telephone number) and when may be suitable.
Regards
PC *****
************
Community Beat Officer

Dear PC ****
First of all I would like to thank you for the speedy response to my
original e-mail. 16 hours and 38 minutes must be a personal record for
Leith Police station and rest assured that I will forward these details
To Norris McWhirter for inclusion in his next book.
Secondly I was delighted to hear that our street has it’s own community
beat officer. May I be the first to congratulate you on your covert
skills.
In the five or so years I have lived in West Cromwell Street , I have
Never seen you. Do you hide up a tree or have you gone deep undercover and
infiltrated the gang itself? Are you the one with the acne and the
moustache on his forehead or the one with a chin like a wash hand basin?
It’s surely only a matter of time before you are headhunted by MI5.
Whilst I realise that there may be far more serious crimes taking place
In Leith such as smoking in a public place or being Muslim without due care
and attention, is it too much to ask for a policeman to explain (using
words of no more than two syllables at a time) to these twats that they
might want to play their strange football game elsewhere. The pitch
behind the Citadel or the one at DKs are both within spitting distance as is
the bottom of the Albert Dock.
Should you wish to discuss these matters further you should feel free to
contact me on ******. If after 25 minutes I have still failed to
answer,
I’ll buy you a large one in the Compass Bar.
Regards
***********
P.S If you think that this is sarcasm, think yourself lucky that you
don’t work for the cleansing department.

I wondered why they have so much crime when there are cameras almost everywhere and now I have the answer.

[GalileoAce]

[benjimanbreeg]

You know, I just now realized exactly what it is about you that puts people off.


Whenever someone disagrees with you or rejects you, you assume there is something wrong with them. You can't understand that someone would have different thoughts and emotions than yourself. You have mind-blindness, or theory of mind impairment.


This is a classic autistic trait.

The theory of mind (ToM) impairment describes a difficulty someone would have with perspective taking. This is also sometimes referred to as mind-blindness. This means that individuals with a ToM impairment would have a hard time seeing things from any other perspective than their own.[30] Individuals who experience a theory of mind deficit have difficulty determining the intentions of others, lack understanding of how their behavior affects others, and have a difficult time with social reciprocity.[31] In 1985 Simon Baron-Cohen, Alan M. Leslie and Uta Frith published research which suggested that children with autism do not employ a theory of mind,[32] and suggested that children with autism have particular difficulties with tasks requiring the child to understand another person's beliefs. These difficulties persist when children are matched for verbal skills (Happe, 1995, Child Development) and have been taken as a key feature of autism.

This is not meant as a personal attack, merely an observation.

Actually its not like that at all.  Soy has different views to me, only a few things I agree with him on, but he makes me laugh.  Its when people have this bitterness about them, and no humility.  Like Bint, TCO, Elle.  They're the only people I have problems with, anyone else seems to have redeeming factors.  I think its they way they are so childish.  And plus I think you'll find, its where I have disagreed with something and then they didn't like my view, so they flew off the handle.  So your wikipedia description actually comes closer to fitting those 3.  I admit I don't like people disagreeing with my tastes in music or comedy though, but its something i'm working on 

[earthboundmisfit]

Actually its not like that at all.  Soy has different views to me, only a few things I agree with him on, but he makes me laugh.  Its when people have this bitterness about them, and no humility.  Like Bint, TCO, Elle.  They're the only people I have problems with, anyone else seems to have redeeming factors.  I think its they way they are so childish.  And plus I think you'll find, its where I have disagreed with something and then they didn't like my view, so they flew off the handle.  So your wikipedia description actually comes closer to fitting those 3.  I admit I don't like people disagreeing with my tastes in music or comedy though, but its something i'm working on  

I think you are taking them the wrong way. You have to understand, you need to have a thick skin here. People are going to give you a lot of shit, and people's opinion of you are going to be based upon how you handle it.


When someone gives you a little bit of static, you tend to resort to baseless ad hominem attacks.


The ribbing people here give each other is mainly done in a playful way. Just relax and don't take things so personally. People want to like you, just give them a chance.

[benjimanbreeg]

Its a forum, I like being nasty of forums.  But its all a game by me too, I wouldn't wish anything bad on anyone here.

[ProfessorFarnsworth]

Its a forum, I like being nasty of forums.  But its all a game by me too, I wouldn't wish anything bad on anyone here.

I prefer to antagonize those who I feel deserve it for a justified reason. Otherwise I try to be reasonable most of the time.

[GalileoAce]

Come on... let's keep petty bickering out of what is supposed to a thread of humour. If you please

[The_Chosen_One]

Actually, you bypassed the callouts and went straight into the arena. There are procedures here, you know.  

Q: What is the most painful thing to see?

A: Two bitches being slapped around the ring.

[benjimanbreeg]

Its a forum, I like being nasty of forums.  But its all a game by me too, I wouldn't wish anything bad on anyone here.

I prefer to antagonize those who I feel deserve it for a justified reason. Otherwise I try to be reasonable most of the time.

Yeah, my actions are always justified 

[Celticgoddess]

Let's get back on track people.

[Phlexor]

.

[matthe]

people tell me i look like him^

[Celticgoddess]

Do they give you an uzi? :lol: