Author Topic: make someone laugh  (Read 123152 times)

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Offline Calandale

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #1575 on: October 10, 2007, 02:24:05 AM »
Boot shopping for lucifer (though halfway through)

http://youtube.com/watch?v=o-VtPT36r-I

Offline Parts

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #1576 on: October 10, 2007, 05:26:05 PM »
Quote
Top Ten Signs You're a Fundamentalist Christian

 

 

10 - You vigorously deny the existence of thousands of gods claimed by other religions, but feel outraged when someone denies the existence of yours.

 

9 - You feel insulted and "dehumanized" when scientists say that people evolved from other life forms, but you have no problem with the Biblical claim that we were created from dirt.

 

8 - You laugh at polytheists, but you have no problem believing in a Triune God.

 

7 - Your face turns purple when you hear of the "atrocities" attributed to Allah, but you don't even flinch when hearing about how God/Jehovah slaughtered all the babies of Egypt in "Exodus" and ordered the elimination of entire ethnic groups in "Joshua" including women, children, and trees!

 

6 - You laugh at Hindu beliefs that deify humans, and Greek claims about gods sleeping with women, but you have no problem believing that the Holy Spirit impregnated Mary, who then gave birth to a man-god who got killed, came back to life and then ascended into the sky.

 

5 - You are willing to spend your life looking for little loopholes in the scientifically established age of Earth (few billion years), but you find nothing wrong with believing dates recorded by Bronze Age tribesmen sitting in their tents and guessing that Earth is a few generations old.

 

4 - You believe that the entire population of this planet with the exception of those who share your beliefs -- though excluding those in all rival sects - will spend Eternity in an infinite Hell of Suffering. And yet consider your religion the most "tolerant" and "loving."

 

3 - While modern science, history, geology, biology, and physics have failed to convince you otherwise, some idiot rolling around on the floor speaking in "tongues" may be all the evidence you need to "prove" Christianity.

 

2 - You define 0.01% as a "high success rate" when it comes to answered prayers. You consider that to be evidence that prayer works. And you think that the remaining 99.99% FAILURE was simply the will of God.

 

1 - You actually know a lot less than many atheists and agnostics do about the Bible, Christianity, and church history - but still call yourself a Christian.

 
"Eat it up.  Wear it out.  Make it do or do without." 

'People who say it cannot be done should not interrupt those who are doing it.'
George Bernard Shaw

ozymandias

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #1577 on: October 10, 2007, 06:09:43 PM »
Parts, you do know that you are going to burn in Hell for that! :laugh:  Make sure you look me up when you get there! >:D :evillaugh:

Offline renaeden

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #1578 on: October 11, 2007, 09:18:38 AM »
Mildly Cute in a Retarded Way
Tek'ma'tae

Offline SovaNu

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #1579 on: October 11, 2007, 09:24:56 AM »
awesome! :laugh: i always wanted one of those!
"I think everybody has an asshole component to their personality. It's just a matter of how much you indulge it. Those who do it often form a habit. So like any addiction, you have to learn to overcome it."
~Lord Phlexor

"Sometimes stepping on one's own dick is a memorable learning experience."
~PPK

"We are all the sum of our tears. Too little and the ground is not fertile and nothing can grow there; too much, the best of us is washed away."
~Gkar

:blonde:

Offline Calandale

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #1580 on: October 11, 2007, 09:26:31 AM »
 :laugh: Laptop.
Post from the tub,
when I'm at my worst.

Offline SovaNu

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #1581 on: October 11, 2007, 09:30:47 AM »
be careful. :P
"I think everybody has an asshole component to their personality. It's just a matter of how much you indulge it. Those who do it often form a habit. So like any addiction, you have to learn to overcome it."
~Lord Phlexor

"Sometimes stepping on one's own dick is a memorable learning experience."
~PPK

"We are all the sum of our tears. Too little and the ground is not fertile and nothing can grow there; too much, the best of us is washed away."
~Gkar

:blonde:

Offline Calandale

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #1582 on: October 11, 2007, 09:31:42 AM »
I'll wear a condom.

Offline SovaNu

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #1583 on: October 11, 2007, 09:32:12 AM »
will your laptop wear a swimsuit?
"I think everybody has an asshole component to their personality. It's just a matter of how much you indulge it. Those who do it often form a habit. So like any addiction, you have to learn to overcome it."
~Lord Phlexor

"Sometimes stepping on one's own dick is a memorable learning experience."
~PPK

"We are all the sum of our tears. Too little and the ground is not fertile and nothing can grow there; too much, the best of us is washed away."
~Gkar

:blonde:

Offline Alex179

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #1584 on: October 11, 2007, 09:33:37 AM »
Your laptop will need the Urban Sombrero.
:P   Internets are super serious.

Offline Calandale

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #1585 on: October 11, 2007, 09:33:58 AM »
I think as long as one is protected,
'tis okay.

Offline Peter

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #1586 on: October 11, 2007, 05:45:10 PM »
.
Quote
14:10 - Moarskrillex42: She said something about knowing why I wanted to move to Glasgow when she came in. She plopped down on my bed and told me to go ahead and open it for her.

14:11 - Peter5930: So, she thought I was your lover and that I was sending you a box full of sex toys, and that you wanted to move to Glasgow to be with me?

ozymandias

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #1587 on: October 11, 2007, 05:58:46 PM »
.

SOunds like he needs some "head". :eyebrows:

Offline Peter

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #1588 on: October 11, 2007, 06:15:32 PM »
Schrödinger's jihadi:
Quote
14:10 - Moarskrillex42: She said something about knowing why I wanted to move to Glasgow when she came in. She plopped down on my bed and told me to go ahead and open it for her.

14:11 - Peter5930: So, she thought I was your lover and that I was sending you a box full of sex toys, and that you wanted to move to Glasgow to be with me?

Offline Parts

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #1589 on: October 11, 2007, 06:22:12 PM »
Schrödinger's jihadi:

Nice they have their facts straight :P
"Eat it up.  Wear it out.  Make it do or do without." 

'People who say it cannot be done should not interrupt those who are doing it.'
George Bernard Shaw