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Author Topic: make someone laugh  (Read 123139 times)

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ozymandias

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #1515 on: September 28, 2007, 07:09:05 PM »
A stranger was seated next to a little girl on the airplane when the stranger turned to her and said, "Let's talk. I've heard that flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger."


The little girl, who had just opened her book, closed it slowly and said to the stranger, "What would you like to talk about?"


"Oh, I don't know", said the stranger. "How about nuclear power?"


"OK" she said. "That could be an interesting topic. But let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat grass, the same stuff. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you suppose that is?"


The stranger thinks about it and says, "Hmmm, I have no idea."


"Do you feel qualified to discuss nuclear power when you don't know shit?"

 



Offline Peter

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #1516 on: September 28, 2007, 07:17:21 PM »
What the fuck are you laughing at? This is not one bit funny! This is a disaster!

 :laugh:

Not really; the fan leaves aren't much good for smoking, and they give a crappy sleepy stone.  I used to cook with them sometimes, but if you grow more than a few plants you'll have more than you'd ever want to consume.
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14:10 - Moarskrillex42: She said something about knowing why I wanted to move to Glasgow when she came in. She plopped down on my bed and told me to go ahead and open it for her.

14:11 - Peter5930: So, she thought I was your lover and that I was sending you a box full of sex toys, and that you wanted to move to Glasgow to be with me?

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #1517 on: September 28, 2007, 07:18:15 PM »
A stranger was seated next to a little girl on the airplane when the stranger turned to her and said, "Let's talk. I've heard that flights go quicker if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger."


The little girl, who had just opened her book, closed it slowly and said to the stranger, "What would you like to talk about?"


"Oh, I don't know", said the stranger. "How about nuclear power?"


"OK" she said. "That could be an interesting topic. But let me ask you a question first. A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat grass, the same stuff. Yet a deer excretes little pellets, while a cow turns out a flat patty, and a horse produces clumps of dried grass. Why do you suppose that is?"


The stranger thinks about it and says, "Hmmm, I have no idea."


"Do you feel qualified to discuss nuclear power when you don't know shit?"


I'd have explained precisely why the faeces differ.
Quote
14:10 - Moarskrillex42: She said something about knowing why I wanted to move to Glasgow when she came in. She plopped down on my bed and told me to go ahead and open it for her.

14:11 - Peter5930: So, she thought I was your lover and that I was sending you a box full of sex toys, and that you wanted to move to Glasgow to be with me?

Offline DirtDawg

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #1518 on: September 28, 2007, 08:05:37 PM »
What the fuck are you laughing at? This is not one bit funny! This is a disaster!

 :laugh:

Not really; the fan leaves aren't much good for smoking, and they give a crappy sleepy stone.  I used to cook with them sometimes, but if you grow more than a few plants you'll have more than you'd ever want to consume.

I know, Peter. I was just trying to be funny and cut-up with Dunc, but I guess he did not see it.
I have grown these beautiful plants before. It is truly a woody perennial and it lives for years where I grew up. My largest plant had a stalk larger than my not-insubstantial bicep muscles and it was four years old and over eight feet high (that includes some careful tending and lots of sexual challenging, by allowing it to flower and preventing it from becoming fertilised) when it was discovered and stolen. I generally composted the sun leaves (we called them) after they would drop in the spring, and dug them into the soil with chicken nesting materials.

The only thing that would really be disastrous is if the plants the rabbits ate were your only seedlings and you had wasted a couple of months of growth time, in the northern climates. It would not matter in the southern climes.

I used to give the seeds to a friend who fought chickens and they made the cocks really nimble on their feet, so he said. I never even bothered to keep the flowers from the plants that had turned hermaphroditic. I had plenty for me and all my friends without even bothering with the lower grade racemes.
Jimi Hendrix: When the power of love overcomes the love of power the world will know peace. 

Ghandi: Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.

The end result of life's daily pain and suffering, trials and failures, tears and laughter, readings and listenings is an accumulation of wisdom in its purest form.

Offline Calandale

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #1519 on: September 29, 2007, 01:53:25 AM »

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #1520 on: September 29, 2007, 01:56:15 AM »

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #1521 on: September 29, 2007, 01:57:41 AM »

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #1522 on: September 29, 2007, 03:46:45 AM »

Offline DirtDawg

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #1523 on: September 29, 2007, 01:46:37 PM »
Jimi Hendrix: When the power of love overcomes the love of power the world will know peace. 

Ghandi: Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.

The end result of life's daily pain and suffering, trials and failures, tears and laughter, readings and listenings is an accumulation of wisdom in its purest form.

Offline El

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it is well known that PMS Elle is evil.
I think you'd fit in a 12" or at least a 16" firework mortar
You win this thread because that's most unsettling to even think about.

Offline Calandale

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #1525 on: September 29, 2007, 03:52:58 PM »

Offline DirtDawg

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #1526 on: September 29, 2007, 05:27:28 PM »
.
Jimi Hendrix: When the power of love overcomes the love of power the world will know peace. 

Ghandi: Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.

The end result of life's daily pain and suffering, trials and failures, tears and laughter, readings and listenings is an accumulation of wisdom in its purest form.

Offline El

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #1527 on: September 29, 2007, 05:59:42 PM »
 :plus: because I love you, Dawg.
it is well known that PMS Elle is evil.
I think you'd fit in a 12" or at least a 16" firework mortar
You win this thread because that's most unsettling to even think about.

Offline DirtDawg

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #1528 on: September 29, 2007, 06:19:19 PM »

*turns red ... OK, redder*

 :-*
Jimi Hendrix: When the power of love overcomes the love of power the world will know peace. 

Ghandi: Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.

The end result of life's daily pain and suffering, trials and failures, tears and laughter, readings and listenings is an accumulation of wisdom in its purest form.

Offline Peter

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #1529 on: September 30, 2007, 12:42:29 AM »


Bizarre.

Quote
Narrator:  "What's the largest number you can think of?"
Idiot:  "Umm... one hundred thousand?"
Moron:  "Nine hundred and ninety nine thousand."
Imbicille:  "A million."
Narrator:  "In actual fact, it's neither of these.  The largest number is about 45 billion, although mathematicians suspect there may be even larger numbers.

Quote
Narrator:  "Maths stands for Mathematical Anti-Telharsic Harfatum Septomin.  Think of it as the language of numbers, with one equalling A, two equalling 'the', three equalling 'hello' and so on.
Quote
14:10 - Moarskrillex42: She said something about knowing why I wanted to move to Glasgow when she came in. She plopped down on my bed and told me to go ahead and open it for her.

14:11 - Peter5930: So, she thought I was your lover and that I was sending you a box full of sex toys, and that you wanted to move to Glasgow to be with me?