Right, as promised here it is- yes it is true. I have (am hoping to be able to change that to had soon) Premenstrual dysphoric disorder (PMDD)- basically its cyclical depression with physical symptoms- kinda like souped-up PMS. At its worst I was severely depressed for almost 3 weeks out of every 4, I was having a period of about 10 days where I felt normal.
I was on anti-depressants for a while as my Dr's kept insisiting it was post-natal depression, but they didn't work. I was completely at the end of my tether when I went to the Dr's again, once I found out which Dr I was seeing I thought that yet again I wouldn't be listened to because he's a bit of an old-school docter-but he was the only one that really listened to me about my symptoms and believed me about the pattern it was following and the physical symptoms. He put me on a course of progesterone tablets and things started to improve.
Once I'd been on the tablets for a few months I had got the depression weeks down to 1-2 weeks out of every 4, some months were worse than others.
When Intensity² was just starting up I was still having a week of depression every month- and it wasn't like I'd just be a bit depressed, it was the kind where being awake was a constant battle and some days I just couldn't make it out of bed at all. If it hadn't have been for the kids I'd have probably spent all those depressed weeks in bed hiding from the world.
But when I heard about the principles of Intensity something was sparked inside of me- and whilst I believe that time has also been a huge factor in my recovery-I had something that I felt strongly about again; I had somewhere to post when I wanted to pretend that everything was going well for me and posting on here did help prevent me from allowing myself to sink. Even the arguments I had with you helped- it lit the fire inside me again, and although at times I fucking hated you for being so pigheaded I was willing to fight you to make you stick to these ideals. And having something to fight for really does help.
Now I have the occasional day or two when I can barely drag myself out of bed, but most months I'm managing not to get past the cranky, 'blah' stage.
I wouldn't go so far as to say that Intensity has saved my life, and I only give some of the credit to Intensity for my improving mental health (like I said time was the main factor), but having somewhere to post where you don't feel like a heartless bitch for not wanting to hear about every stubbed toe people get, and somewhere I feel I fit in, after years of never fitting in anywhere.
* Everyone feel free to smite me for getting sentimental with this*
"Is she gone yet?"