My ask away thread

[purposefulinsanity]

How old are they?

My eldest is 10 (he has AS), the middle one is 8 (she doesn't have AS but she has a lot of the traits) and the youngest is almost 4 (we're waiting for him to see a DR about a DX, he is very similar to his brother).

[Calandale]

I'm sure you've been through all this,
but it's easier just to ask (tell me to
piss off if you want), are the elder ones
in school?

[purposefulinsanity]

Yes they are- that's the reason why I have a bit of time to post on here (although this week I've had too much time on here, inertia can be a bitch sometimes).

[Calandale]

A lot of people in the US seem to be moving more and
more in favor of home schooling. Is there any such trend
there?

[purposefulinsanity]

A lot of people in the US seem to be moving more and
more in favor of home schooling. Is there any such trend
there?

There is but its a hell of a lot smaller.  We tried home schooling for a while actually but eventually they both missed other kids too much.  There is one home schooling group fairly locally but we had nothing in common with the parents and the kids made fun of my AS son.  It was really good for my daughter though- in that it gave her a little breathing space to mature enough for full time school.

[Calandale]

Do they find school tough?

Did you?

[purposefulinsanity]

Do they find school tough?

Did you?

They're quite lucky in that they go to a small village school so the kids are a lot nicer than the chav scum kids that live near us.  Adam is generally too oblivious to pick up on it when anyone is teasing him, but Caitlin struggles sometimes with the weirdness of little girl friendships (the changing best friends every 2 days, etc).  They both generally like school at the moment though, although I'm worried that will change when they have to go to secondary school.


I was kind of like Adam in that I was generally oblivious when people were teasing me, until I got to around his age and started picking up on it.  I really didn't enjoy school all that much though, partly because the people who picked on me the most where the people who I thought were my friends.  And they had no qualms about treating gossip about me like currency to buy them a little time with the popular kids.

[Calandale]

So, was there a point where you kinda
gave up on school for yourself?

[purposefulinsanity]

So, was there a point where you kinda
gave up on school for yourself?

I stayed on at school to do a-levels after my GCSE's (I left at 18), I then went on to college and did the first year of a teacher training course (which I got high marks for), but I left after the first year (partly because I realised I couldn't be a teacher, but also because I found each day I had to go and be around these people a trial.

When my older two kids were younger I went back to college, did more a-levels, and then started a midwifery course at university.  I had the same problem with the people there that I always did at school (I assumed people were friends and I was too trusting-they gossiped about me or treated me as a mug- one 'friend' asked for help with her assignments but really wanted me to write them for her).  It was whilst I was there that I found out about my son having AS and it was a tough time- as part of the course we had full time work placements, working shifts, and he couldn't cope with the constant changes in routine.  So eventually I gave that up.

I want to go back to university in the future, but I know that I'll face the same challenges when I do- I can cope with being around people for a while but it doesn't take long before it all becomes too painful to cope with.  Plus I know that I've developed a defence mechanism to protect myself from the people who assume I am stupid- I give up before I can fail (despite knowing that I've never failed at the other stuff I did stick at, but logic doesn't really come into this shit).

[Calandale]

So, you never had a problem just focusing
on the work itself? It was always interesting?

[purposefulinsanity]

So, you never had a problem just focusing
on the work itself? It was always interesting?

I like having work to do, its being around people so often that's the problem. 

[Calandale]

Don't you ever find contradictions
within yourself?

[purposefulinsanity]

Don't you ever find contradictions
within yourself?

All the time- this goes back to what I was saying to you last night about insanity.  I have this compulsion to know myself and where I fit it, and there are parts of me that are contradictory.  I wonder though what is real and what is manufactured as a response to the things that have happened to me in life.  I highly value honesty but I wonder at times how honest I am with myself.

[Calandale]

If you lie to yourself, is it really a lie?

[purposefulinsanity]

If you lie to yourself, is it really a lie?

That's the question really. I don't know- my initial response is to say yes, but I guess it comes down to whether other people are involved.