I was abused at day care by my teacher but I vaugly remember it because it was bad. I was in trouble a lot and always punished and I threw lot of tantrums there. She was nice and then she was not off and on. I was abused by my nanny too when I was 5. She put my brother and I both in the bathroom as a time out and hold us in there. One time she got the door stuck and left me in there and I had to fight the door handle untill I finally pulled the door open and she even put us in there without turning the light on but I always turned it on when she put us in there. I can remember her yanking my arm real hard when she pull me and she would hit me too sometimes across the head. I learned to stay out of her way and I always hid in my parents closet whenever she come. My brother did the same. She yelled a lot too at my brother and I. My uncle saw it happening but he was dense about it because he doesn't know shit about how to raise kids so he didn't know what she was doing was wrong. My dad was too focused in his work to even notice what was going on in the household (he worked at home) and my mother didn;t find out till she hurt her back at work and had to stay home in bed and that's when she heard the yelling and seeing me and my brother hiding in her closet and it helped her figure out why we both acted so differently but she never knew about the bathroom incident till 6 years later when we were talking about her and that explained to her why my brother was afraid of the dark. I bet my brother was releaved to find out why he was afraid of the dark and it took him a few years to overcome it after he found out why. That also explained to my parents why I kept locking my brother in the bathroom when i was 5 and them punishing me didn't work. I had to get tired of the game to stop. I even did it to myself too for a while. The funny thing is my mother apologized in my teens for punishing me because she didn't know the reason why i was doing it and I must have been confused why I was in trouble. I told her I probably was. I just kept on doing it anyway not caring about the punishment. After it end, I move on not caring about it anymore. But I knew why I was in trouble though when I do it, it was for locking him oin the bathroom but I didn't understand why it was wrong. Took me years to figure out why, you don't put kids in bathrooms and lock them in there. I learn from reading, watching TV, talking to my mother about parenting and hearing what people say about other people raising kids.
I had emotional abuse too and what do you mean by mental?
I was taken advantage of and get in trouble by the teachers. Kids would even egg me to do things and wouldn't leave me alone till I did them and I get in trouble by the school staff. The kids must have enjoyed it. They also let kids bully me too and tease me and said I just have to toughen up. Well I did and I get in trouble. But no their definition of toughening up was ignoring them and walking away. They follow me anyway when I walk away. I can remember they make up stories and I fall for them such as the time they made up a singer called Jack Off and were telling me about him and I thought he was real so one day I decided to look him up to find out more about him and I almost got in trouble for it but the kids did instead when I said I was looking him up because kids have told me about him and then my teacher wanted to know who told me so I did and the leader of it had to apologize.
I was called names like retarded, stupid, idiot, peanut brain, mean, rude, show off, and I was told I was those things too. The bullying was much worse when i was 12 and would have gotten more worse as I got older if my family stayed living there. But they have never touched me because they would have gotten in trouble if they did because of "Hands to yourself rule." That's why I always got in troiuble for defending myself because it was psyical. If I did it by words, then I wouldn't have. I can remember getting in fights with other kids and we both get in trouble because that other kid was kicking me back and I was kicking him back and we were hitting each other and the teachers wouldn't care who the bad guy was and who the victim was.
I also get in trouble too for not understanding the rules. I learn them and then get confused when I see kids breaking them and it confuse the shit out of me so I think it was okay after all to do and do it and I get in trouble. I didn't understand when to break the rules and when not to do it and other kids knew but none of them never told me or helped me. I just kept breaking rules I saw other kids breaking because I was fighting to be like everyone else and be normal and I never gave up. One time my mother had me videotaped in class and she saw the other kids doing goofy stuff and here was me being perfect not doing anything weird or funny but after lunch I started to act up and get hyper because my pills wore off and the school made a big deal out of me even though the other kids were caught on camera too but they were still mad about my behavior. Discrimination. I think treating a child differently than other kids is abuse and punishing a child for having troubles figuring out the rules is abuse. Makes the child feel they aren't normal and there is soemthing wrong with them and they have to try harder to be normal so they can get the same rights too and it makes them hate who they are. When I joined the autism forums I discovered I wasn't the only one who had that same shit, others were treated the same way too so NTs sure had a bad name and that's why there is NT bashing and I don't blame them.
They would also get in trouble for defending themselves too and it took me till my adulthood to find out not that I got in trouble for defending myself, it was the way i did it. If I have never touched them, I would have never gotten in trouble. We get in trouble for the way we handle our problems, not because we're autistic so I can't call that abuse anymore.
I remember I get in trouble for fighting with a little kid because they were upsetting me. I discovered other autistics were treated like bad guys too for fighting with their little siblings or other younger kids or for doing things to them because they were bugging them. My mom claims she abused me when i was little. i overheard her saying that to my shrink when i was 16. I never asked her how was I abused. I'm assuming she was talking about punishing me for my symptoms when i was little such as the time she got mad at me for misunderstanding her when she kept telling me to "stop that teasing" and I took it literal because I stop the teasing I was doing and do another one and she kicked me out of the car finally and drove off 50 feet and yelled at me to get back in.
She used to get mad at me too for whenever I have anxiety or whenever I cry. She say "Stop crying like a two year old" "Quit acting like a big baby" and she punish me for way i handle problems. I also had young emotions too and I get in trouble for it too and I always thought my mother was mean and I was being picked on. She just didn't understand till I was 12 and then she changed her ways because she was more patient and didn't expect me to know everything I should know because she learned I need concrete information and my mind works differently than other people. I also have anxiety too and she stopped getting mad at me about it. Things got easier after the diagnoses. My mother used to get mad at me about my obsessions too. Lot of parents do and some still get mad after their child is diagnosed. I have had aspie friends who even get in trouble for having AS. I see that as abuse. Makes the child feel bad about themselves and gives them low self esteem. I have seen that a lot on WP where kids go and they rant about their lives because of their abused families. They get punished for their AS behavior. I usually see that in The Haven.
IMO lot of aspies and auties have been abused. By their familes, their school system, other grown ups, etc. And what I mean by abuse is no support for their needs and they get in trouble for something that isn't their fault or for having AS/autism such as when they get sensory overloaded. But sometimes it's innocent because they didn't know but after their child is diagnosed or they find out what might be wrong, then they know better. I have forgiven my mother a long time ago because she didn't know. But when I was 16 she emotionally abandoned me because she started to get mad about my anxiety again and told me I was an embarrassment to the family because I embrasse my brothers. Took me till my adult hood to find out I am not an embarrassment to my family and that was before they understood me. I don't embarasse them anymore because they understand now and so do their friends. Took them a few years to figure out "The Beth rules" when they have lot of people over. But it never bothered me when my parents have guests over because they are neat and they don't move things and they don't get in my space or get real loud.
People asking me if I was abused is always a complicated question for me to answer because I don't know if I answer yes or no. Sometimes I say 'yes' sometimes I say 'no' depending on what I am thinking of the word abuse. There is different kinds of abuse.
