In memory of those we lost in the past years... this dedication is to you, the eccentrics, the free thinkers, people who made a difference in our lives both in the real world and on the net.Thank you for the memories.
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Then again, what's in my past is relatively awful, but I'm starting (within the past few months) to realize that I don't give off vibes of craziness, so when I say "It wasn't my fault, and it turns out I'm actually not nuts," it's probably usually believeable. *shrug*
You'll never self-actualize the subconscious canopy of stardust with that attitude.
Quote from: RageBeoulve on June 08, 2009, 11:28:26 AMQuote from: Trigger11 on June 08, 2009, 11:19:15 AMWere you always too open prior to a few years ago, or did you go from more reserved first, then to being too open, before realing it back in. I was very closed, but am now way too open. Wouldn't mind realing it back in some. If and when I start trying again, I am likely to scare off every chick I ever come across. Ha ha!My whole 'don't care what anyone thinks' attitude makes it easy to ridicule myself, which makes it nearly impossible to hurt me emotionally. Unless, of course, the person is someone close that I care about. Then the 'don't care' attitude isn't really 100% applicable. But don't tell anyone I said that!!!As far as asking you for advice goes...well you are far more experienced than me in this stuff and at least have a good handle on a lot of it with regards to yourself. Ultimately, the variables are all different due to each person being unique. There is no perfect formula. All you can hope for is to come across someone you can relate to and connect with, who can understand and respect you, and you can do the same in return for. Some of will probably spend our entire lives looking for this.Now I am sad! Heh. Not me. She seems to know her shit when it comes to stuff like this. I'm going to pick her brain till i've learned what she knows about it. I suggest you do the same.I'm more experienced than Trig, and 'know my shit,' eh? I do appreciate the compliment, but let's remember that I'm three years younger than Rage, have only been in three relationships 'till now, and (obviously) each of those relationships failed. My advice to others may well be good, but then again, would you trust diet tips from a fat person? Hence my grain-of-salt warning.As far as being open- I reeled way back after over-disclosure pretty much gave my first partner a way of invalidating anything I said or did as a symptom of my dysfunction rather than, for example, reasonable and proportional anger at something he did wrong. (Which was, of course, what had been done to me my entire life by the people around me.) To be fair, at the time, my self-esteem was so low that I blamed myself for everything anyway, so he didn't really need the excuse... but I think it did play in, and that scared me. In my second relationship I disclosed as little as possible, and I think it (among other mistakes) helped make my partner feel untrusted and un-cared-about.I have yet to have self-disclosure drive people away (that I'm aware of)- lack of it probably did. Then again, what's in my past is relatively awful, but I'm starting (within the past few months) to realize that I don't give off vibes of craziness, so when I say "It wasn't my fault, and it turns out I'm actually not nuts," it's probably usually believeable. *shrug*
Quote from: Trigger11 on June 08, 2009, 11:19:15 AMWere you always too open prior to a few years ago, or did you go from more reserved first, then to being too open, before realing it back in. I was very closed, but am now way too open. Wouldn't mind realing it back in some. If and when I start trying again, I am likely to scare off every chick I ever come across. Ha ha!My whole 'don't care what anyone thinks' attitude makes it easy to ridicule myself, which makes it nearly impossible to hurt me emotionally. Unless, of course, the person is someone close that I care about. Then the 'don't care' attitude isn't really 100% applicable. But don't tell anyone I said that!!!As far as asking you for advice goes...well you are far more experienced than me in this stuff and at least have a good handle on a lot of it with regards to yourself. Ultimately, the variables are all different due to each person being unique. There is no perfect formula. All you can hope for is to come across someone you can relate to and connect with, who can understand and respect you, and you can do the same in return for. Some of will probably spend our entire lives looking for this.Now I am sad! Heh. Not me. She seems to know her shit when it comes to stuff like this. I'm going to pick her brain till i've learned what she knows about it. I suggest you do the same.
Were you always too open prior to a few years ago, or did you go from more reserved first, then to being too open, before realing it back in. I was very closed, but am now way too open. Wouldn't mind realing it back in some. If and when I start trying again, I am likely to scare off every chick I ever come across. Ha ha!My whole 'don't care what anyone thinks' attitude makes it easy to ridicule myself, which makes it nearly impossible to hurt me emotionally. Unless, of course, the person is someone close that I care about. Then the 'don't care' attitude isn't really 100% applicable. But don't tell anyone I said that!!!As far as asking you for advice goes...well you are far more experienced than me in this stuff and at least have a good handle on a lot of it with regards to yourself. Ultimately, the variables are all different due to each person being unique. There is no perfect formula. All you can hope for is to come across someone you can relate to and connect with, who can understand and respect you, and you can do the same in return for. Some of will probably spend our entire lives looking for this.Now I am sad!
Quote from: Trigger11 on June 08, 2009, 11:38:28 AMShe does know her shit, in theory! So she is excellent for picking brains. Methinks she either lacks confidence in herself or has not figured out yet how to put these theories to practice. I'm gonna get ripped a new one for this post, aren't I?It prolly largely is lack of confidence (in relationships, anyway), difficult putting theories to practice, or lack of ability to make decisions with my brain. And, I'm supposed to rip Trig a new one, eh? OK, fine:Boys, these discussions are fascinating, so ask questions all you want, but do remember: I'm never going to sleep with either of you.
She does know her shit, in theory! So she is excellent for picking brains. Methinks she either lacks confidence in herself or has not figured out yet how to put these theories to practice. I'm gonna get ripped a new one for this post, aren't I?
Quote from: PMS Elle on June 08, 2009, 03:59:07 PMThen again, what's in my past is relatively awful, but I'm starting (within the past few months) to realize that I don't give off vibes of craziness, so when I say "It wasn't my fault, and it turns out I'm actually not nuts," it's probably usually believeable. *shrug*Yeah, at least over the internet, your vibes are more like "I'm stable and playful, I have an awesome sense of humor and a lot of common sense."
I would have to agree with Pyraxis that you definitely give off a pretty good vibe on here. You're not crazy...relatively speaking.
Choose your own adventure:a) I can't speak for Rage, but I'm interested in developing an intellectual, plutonic online relationship.ORb) Who said anything about sleeping? Sorry! Had to do it!!!
it is well known that PMS Elle is evil.
I think you'd fit in a 12" or at least a 16" firework mortar
You win this thread because that's most unsettling to even think about.
Quote from: Trigger11 on June 08, 2009, 07:22:47 PMChoose your own adventure:a) I can't speak for Rage, but I'm interested in developing an intellectual, plutonic online relationship.ORb) Who said anything about sleeping? Sorry! Had to do it!!! Actually, I was assuming one of you would suggest both at once. I guess my mind has once again proven itself to be dirtier than most male minds.
Well Rage, I'm game! Are you up for it?
What have you been up to?Are you still studying psychology?Are you working right now?
Quote from: Trigger11 on June 08, 2009, 09:00:34 PMWell Rage, I'm game! Are you up for it? *facepalm* The idea of double-teaming a girl always seemed kinda gay on the part of the guys, to me. Not that there's anything wrong with it, but I've heard it debated before.Quote from: jman on June 08, 2009, 11:17:28 PMWhat have you been up to?Are you still studying psychology?Are you working right now?I can basically answer all three at once- I'm doing an internship right now, which is part of the tail end of my Master's. It doesn't pay, but it has an unpredictable schedule, so what should be 20-30 hours a week will probably expand to fill the space of a full-time job, in terms of when I am and am not available. Between that and how emotionally intense the work can be, I feel that my choice to spend my last two semesters of grad school continuing to add to my already massive school-related debt is the best of two bad options (the other being trying to hold a part-time job, rack up slightly less debt, and potentially burn myself out). In other words, I'm at the place in my education that most people in the field look back on and wince.
I don't think I am at a place in our relationship Rage where I can go there with you. I mean, I want Elle to be happy and all, so if this is what she really wants I can try and get to that place. But I really am not ready. Plus, I'm afraid it would be difficult to go back from that and would jeopardize my friendship with Elle. I am really not looking for a physical thing anyway, other than muff diving, of course.
I think they refer to it as the Devil's Threesome!
Elle,What song would you like me to request Trent play tonight? I've already requested our song, but thought you might have something else you'd like NIN to play. Later!Trig