I was think about this with Jessica, because I can get easily worked up over simple thing like AS. I was thinking that if you were aware of when you were going to do an AS thing, and you calmned your mind, you could mute almost all your symtoms, then people will not think your so weird. I don't think I have the same amount of distress as you guys, nor do I get confused. I could play pretend games to make fun of alot people, but I won't.
It took me three hours to clean up Jayden's room, and the smelll is gone now. There is still mold on the celing and some remaing stuff. My mom's old room has clothes all over the floor and needs to be vaccumed. The garage is cleaned of all the filth off the floor, and I am mad at my sister for not talking to me about this issue. If she offered to make arrangements to clean it up or appologize and say I cant, I would have said I will do it. I am in alot better shape than her, and I have compassion. The very fact that someone would go and do hard drug like a blunt signifes they have a problem. Beating up your mom and leaving threats is what really took the cake. She has the nerve to complain about my mom, saying how she is doing crack and shit. Just because she used to do pot, doesnt not mean it continues. Just because I used to do AS behavior does not mean it continues. Most of it stopped before I got on the internet doing this posting shit. I think its done, I appear to be in a good mood an awful lot. I would like mom and my sister to leave me alone. My sister has not got it yet that I was ignoring her for a reason, she throws lightinging bolts from her throw of misery, but them I throw them back at her. I remind her she is the one doing blunts, I have never done such things, even in my worst moments.
I have noticed almost everytime I meditate I get horny immediately after, even if I skip a meal. Immune cell activity can rise by 40 percent in response to that, and it helped terminal cancer patients survive.
