Son of a bitchclair. Maybe this will cheer everyone up:
Barney was a purple dinosaur everyone hated. Lot of children loved him in the studio but wait, they didn't love him, they hated him. The only reason why they worked with him was because they did it for the money. They had a head ache every time they worked on the set and every day they were happy when it be time for them to go home.
But the guy in the suit also hated him too and every time he had to wear the suit, he got hell. Everyone beat him on the set because the studio crew also hated him. They couldn't stand his voice because it gave some of them a head ache and his voice annoyed others. They would try and put up with his voice but felt agitated every time.
In Jane Austin's Mafia, he was spoofed and he was killed at the end by an Eskimo. He had traveled all the way to Las Veges to kill him. He was spoofed in a Animaniacs computer game and it was called Baloney & Friends. The object of the mini game was to keep one of the Animaniacs bouncing in the air collecting all the balloons and keep him away from the yellow dinosaur. If he got you, you lost a life. Then someone had sang a song about him called "Barney's On Fire."
But one day everyone decided to cancel the damn show since the ratings went so low. Parents stopped allowing their kids to watch Barney because they had a god damn head ache every time their child watched it. The new parents never introduced the show to their child.
But the poor guy was trapped in the suit. No one wanted to help the guy take it off so he had to spend the rest of his life in it.
"Who the hell invented that damn dinosaur," the camera guy asked.
"Beats me," said the producer.
Barney left the studio but couldn't get in his car because the suit was too big. So he had to walk home. On the way home, beer bottles were thrown at him and trash. Some even drove into him and he went flying in the air.
When he got home, he couldn't even feed himself or get in his own bed because of the face and his tail. So he had to sleep on his bed on his side.
When he got up in the middle of the night, he had to go to the bathroom but couldn't use the toilet because he the guy couldn't get the suit up so he ended up going in his filled up diaper he had to wear in the suit because no one wanted to help take the damn thing off during his potty break while all the other crew and the actors got to go on theirs and didn't have to wear. Now with the show cancelled, it will never come up so the diaper was leaking so he got piss down his legs and had to be in his urine. While the people in the baby Bop costume and in the yellow dinosaur costume had help taking theirs off so they can use the toilet, they didn't help him take off his Barney suit. They were too annoyed to deal with helping him taking off the suit so he can go so the easiest way was making him wear diapers in the suit so they could only deal with him once taking off the suit after the show is done being shot for the day.
Barney had difficulty falling asleep because the diaper inside him was so uncomfortable, it was all torn up inside from all the urine and it was all wet on the outside and down his legs.
Stay tuned for more Barney bashing, if not, well maybe I will post more later on. My my cousin and her husband and my brother had a kick out of that story when I read it to them . My new husband liked it too. I just added the diaper part.
