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Author Topic: GOOD CLEAN HUMOUR  (Read 16245 times)

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Offline DirtDawg

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Re: GOOD CLEAN HUMOUR
« Reply #435 on: September 05, 2018, 04:34:19 PM »
Actually, the eye patches that pirates wore were to make it easy to go below decks during a raid.

The eye patch preserved their night vision in one eye so they would flip the patch up when they went below decks, they would put it back over their eye above decks.

We have all heard that, but keeping a parrot on ones shoulder has its dangers. A patch on the parrot side was a good idea.
 :thumbup:


But, come on,now. Can't we just chuckle a bit?
Jimi Hendrix: When the power of love overcomes the love of power the world will know peace. 

Ghandi: Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.

The end result of life's daily pain and suffering, trials and failures, tears and laughter, readings and listenings is an accumulation of wisdom in its purest form.

Offline Minister Of Silly Walks

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Re: GOOD CLEAN HUMOUR
« Reply #436 on: September 05, 2018, 05:29:55 PM »
My understanding is that there is no historical evidence that pirates wore eye patches for the night vision benefits. Nor is there any real evidence that wearing eye patches was particularly common among pirates. It's a very plausible hypothesis though. I was reading that it used to be quite common for military pilots to wear an eye patch for similar reasons (also sometimes wearing a lead or gold lined eyepatch to prevent blinding in both eyes in case of a nuclear flash or laser attack).
“When men oppress their fellow men, the oppressor ever finds, in the character of the oppressed, a full justification for his oppression.” Frederick Douglass

Offline DirtDawg

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Re: GOOD CLEAN HUMOUR
« Reply #437 on: September 05, 2018, 07:53:15 PM »
My understanding is that there is no historical evidence that pirates wore eye patches for the night vision benefits. Nor is there any real evidence that wearing eye patches was particularly common among pirates. It's a very plausible hypothesis though. I was reading that it used to be quite common for military pilots to wear an eye patch for similar reasons (also sometimes wearing a lead or gold lined eyepatch to prevent blinding in both eyes in case of a nuclear flash or laser attack).

Well, if you lot are going to get all pissy and existential about my posting a stupid joke with no more expectation than we stop to enjoy humor for a second or two, then I challenge you to MAKE me laugh or at least pause to think for a moment as QV does!
Since we are doing this, though ... How about the fact that ninety nine percent of the pirates never even saw a fucking parrot in their entire lives. Who knows where the parrot myths originated.


Probably fucking Disney.
« Last Edit: September 05, 2018, 09:21:17 PM by DirtDawg »
Jimi Hendrix: When the power of love overcomes the love of power the world will know peace. 

Ghandi: Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.

The end result of life's daily pain and suffering, trials and failures, tears and laughter, readings and listenings is an accumulation of wisdom in its purest form.

Offline DirtDawg

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Re: GOOD CLEAN HUMOUR
« Reply #438 on: September 05, 2018, 08:14:11 PM »

What did the Buddhist say to the hot dog vendor?
 Make me one with everything.

:razz:
Jimi Hendrix: When the power of love overcomes the love of power the world will know peace. 

Ghandi: Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.

The end result of life's daily pain and suffering, trials and failures, tears and laughter, readings and listenings is an accumulation of wisdom in its purest form.

Offline Minister Of Silly Walks

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Re: GOOD CLEAN HUMOUR
« Reply #439 on: September 05, 2018, 09:17:23 PM »
My understanding is that there is no historical evidence that pirates wore eye patches for the night vision benefits. Nor is there any real evidence that wearing eye patches was particularly common among pirates. It's a very plausible hypothesis though. I was reading that it used to be quite common for military pilots to wear an eye patch for similar reasons (also sometimes wearing a lead or gold lined eyepatch to prevent blinding in both eyes in case of a nuclear flash or laser attack).

Well, if you lot are going to get all pissy and existential about my posting a stupid joke with no more expectation then we stop to enjoy humor for a second or two, then I challenge you to MAKE me laugh or at least pause to think for a moment as QV does!
Since we are doing this, though ... How about the fact that ninety nine percent of the pirates never even saw a fucking parrot in their entire lives. Who knows where the parrot myths originated.


Probably fucking Disney.

https://www.atlasobscura.com/articles/the-surprising-truth-about-pirates-and-parrots

Parrots may well have traded in parrots.

Going off on tangents should be banned.

I'm just happy that, at my advanced age, my curiosity can still be triggered so easily.

Let's talk about pirates some more.

A tall, muscular black pirate walked into a bar with an immensely colourful parrot on his shoulder. The barman said "he's a beauty, where'd you get him from?" and the parrot replied "WAAAAAAK! Africa!".
“When men oppress their fellow men, the oppressor ever finds, in the character of the oppressed, a full justification for his oppression.” Frederick Douglass

Offline DirtDawg

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Re: GOOD CLEAN HUMOUR
« Reply #440 on: September 06, 2018, 01:14:16 AM »

Parrots may well have traded in parrots.


One of the best, most hilarious typos I have seen in a while
Jimi Hendrix: When the power of love overcomes the love of power the world will know peace. 

Ghandi: Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.

The end result of life's daily pain and suffering, trials and failures, tears and laughter, readings and listenings is an accumulation of wisdom in its purest form.

Offline Minister Of Silly Walks

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Re: GOOD CLEAN HUMOUR
« Reply #441 on: September 06, 2018, 01:49:29 AM »

Parrots may well have traded in parrots.


One of the best, most hilarious typos I have seen in a while

There you go, if you can't make 'em laugh with intended humour, just make a typo that implies some kind of parrot slave trade.
“When men oppress their fellow men, the oppressor ever finds, in the character of the oppressed, a full justification for his oppression.” Frederick Douglass

Offline Queen Victoria

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Re: GOOD CLEAN HUMOUR
« Reply #442 on: September 07, 2018, 09:30:53 PM »
Q: What is a fish's favorite game show?

A: Name that Tuna.
A good monarch is a treasure. A good politician is an oxymoron.

My brain is both uninhibited and uninhabited.

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Offline DirtDawg

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Re: GOOD CLEAN HUMOUR
« Reply #443 on: September 08, 2018, 06:59:16 AM »
I find this shit and just have to put it here!!!
Jimi Hendrix: When the power of love overcomes the love of power the world will know peace. 

Ghandi: Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.

The end result of life's daily pain and suffering, trials and failures, tears and laughter, readings and listenings is an accumulation of wisdom in its purest form.

Offline Queen Victoria

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Re: GOOD CLEAN HUMOUR
« Reply #444 on: September 08, 2018, 10:32:04 AM »
In the frozen foods department of Wal-Mart last Saturday morning, I noticed a man shopping with his son.

As I walked by, he checked something off his list, and I heard him whisper conspiratorially to the child,

'You know, Harry, if we really mess this up, we'll never have to do it again.'
A good monarch is a treasure. A good politician is an oxymoron.

My brain is both uninhibited and uninhabited.

:qv:

Offline Queen Victoria

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Re: GOOD CLEAN HUMOUR
« Reply #445 on: September 08, 2018, 10:32:38 AM »
I find this shit and just have to put it here!!!

It took me a while to translate it, but it was worth it.      :thumbup:
A good monarch is a treasure. A good politician is an oxymoron.

My brain is both uninhibited and uninhabited.

:qv:

Offline Yuri Bezmenov

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Re: GOOD CLEAN HUMOUR
« Reply #446 on: September 08, 2018, 10:38:44 AM »
I find this shit and just have to put it here!!!

In English pleez?   :dunno:

Offline DirtDawg

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Re: GOOD CLEAN HUMOUR
« Reply #447 on: September 08, 2018, 12:01:31 PM »
I find this shit and just have to put it here!!!

In English pleez?   :dunno:

Again, if you have to explain a joke, the the joke has failed.

I will try to help a bit. What is another way to indicate the square root of negative one? What is two cubed?
OK, from here?
Jimi Hendrix: When the power of love overcomes the love of power the world will know peace. 

Ghandi: Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.

The end result of life's daily pain and suffering, trials and failures, tears and laughter, readings and listenings is an accumulation of wisdom in its purest form.

Offline Calandale

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Re: GOOD CLEAN HUMOUR
« Reply #448 on: September 08, 2018, 03:51:44 PM »
Taking the 'wording' away removes all the humor.

Offline DirtDawg

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Re: GOOD CLEAN HUMOUR
« Reply #449 on: September 08, 2018, 06:22:11 PM »
Taking the 'wording' away removes all the humor.

Backward thinking much.
It is making words out of it that makes it funny.

I have now explained it twice. MY jokes suck!
 :hahaha:
Jimi Hendrix: When the power of love overcomes the love of power the world will know peace. 

Ghandi: Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.

The end result of life's daily pain and suffering, trials and failures, tears and laughter, readings and listenings is an accumulation of wisdom in its purest form.