2

Author Topic: make someone laugh, pt 2  (Read 40301 times)

0 Members and 2 Guests are viewing this topic.

Offline Gopher Gary

  • sockpuppet alert!
  • Maniacal Postwhore
  • *
  • Posts: 12586
  • Karma: 647
  • I'm not wearing pants.
Re: make someone laugh, pt 2
« Reply #1125 on: November 09, 2015, 06:59:12 PM »
 :lol1:
:gopher:

Offline Bastet

  • Psychotic Mentally Deficient Deranged Bitch
  • Elder
  • Obsessive Postwhore
  • *****
  • Posts: 6007
  • Karma: 633
  • Gender: Female
  • MeOW!
Re: make someone laugh, pt 2
« Reply #1126 on: November 15, 2015, 07:08:54 PM »
Woman Phones The Bank After They Charge Her Dead Aunt. This Is Priceless.

If you have ever had to deal with a major corporation's customer service then you will really appreciate this.

My aunt died this past November. The Bank billed her for December and January for their monthly service charge on her credit card, and then added late fees and interest on the monthly charge...the balance had been $0.00... now was somewhere around $60.00)

I placed the following phone call to Bank:

Me: "I am calling to tell you that she died in November."

Bank: "The account was never closed and the late fees and charges still apply."

Me: "Maybe, you should turn it over to collections..."

Bank: "Since it is two months past due, it already has been."

Me: "So, what will they do when they find out she is dead?"

Bank: "Either report her account to the frauds division, or report her to the credit bureau...maybe both!"

Me: "Do you think God will be mad at her?"

Bank: "...excuse me .?"

Me: "Did you just get what I was telling you.... the part about her being dead?"

Bank: "You'll have to speak to my supervisor!"

(Supervisor gets on the phone)

Me: "I'm calling to tell you, she died in November."


Bank: "The account was never closed and the late fees and charges still apply."

Me: "You mean you want to collect from her estate?"

Bank: " (stammer)" .... "Are you her lawyer?"

Me: "No, I'm her great niece." (Lawyer info given... )

Bank: "Could you fax us a certificate of death?"
Me: "Sure." ( Fax number is given )

( After they get the fax. ) Bank: "Our system just isn't set up for death..."

Me: "Oh..."

Bank: "I don't know what more I can do to help..."

Me: "Well... if you figure it out, great! If not, you could just keep billing her...I suppose... don't really think she will care...."

Bank: "Well...the late fees and charges do still apply."

Me: "Would you like her new billing address?"

Bank: "That might help."

Me: (Odessa Memorial Cemetery #345 Hwy 129, and plot number 744 given.)

Bank: "That's a cemetery!"

Me: "What do you do with dead people on your planet?!!"
:kitten: OBSESSIVE AILUROPHILE :kitten:


It is far better for people to hate you for doing the right thing than for people to love you for doing the wrong thing. Never ever forget that.

Offline MLA

  • Elitest Aspie of the Aspie Elite
  • Modulator
  • Dedicated Postwhore
  • *****
  • Posts: 2838
  • Karma: 192
  • Gender: Male
  • The internet isn't a library, it's a stage.
Re: make someone laugh, pt 2
« Reply #1127 on: November 17, 2015, 10:50:30 AM »
Eh.  Death doesn't cancel credit cards or get your estate out of responsibility for fees incurred.  If she died broke it won't matter, if she had life insurance or any property then they will get their slice.  Great niece should have cancelled those cards quicker.

Offline 'andersom'

  • Pure Chocolate Bovine PIMP of the Aspie Elite
  • Elder
  • Almighty Postwhore
  • *****
  • Posts: 39199
  • Karma: 2556
  • Gender: Female
  • well known as hyke.
Re: make someone laugh, pt 2
« Reply #1128 on: November 17, 2015, 10:58:00 AM »
Eh.  Death doesn't cancel credit cards or get your estate out of responsibility for fees incurred.  If she died broke it won't matter, if she had life insurance or any property then they will get their slice.  Great niece should have cancelled those cards quicker.

Maybe she did.

Dead people get mail and attempts to write stuff from their bankaccounts years after they have been officially announced dead. (Mean that all the contacts have been officially notified of the death of the person subscribed or contributing.)

Some bureaus just keep trying, hoping a family member will take the burden.
I can do upside down chocolate moo things!

Offline Trigger 11

  • Dark Jedi Master
  • Elder
  • Obsessive Postwhore
  • *****
  • Posts: 8747
  • Karma: 438
  • May the FORCE be with you...always!!!
Re: make someone laugh, pt 2
« Reply #1129 on: December 01, 2015, 12:33:23 AM »
Knock, knock...
Crazy, I'm halfway to crazy
Suicide would waste me
Homicide would break me
Tongue tied and tied to the tongue
Tongue tied and tied to the tongue
Oh, is life as bad as dreams
I guess that's just the way it seems

Offline 'andersom'

  • Pure Chocolate Bovine PIMP of the Aspie Elite
  • Elder
  • Almighty Postwhore
  • *****
  • Posts: 39199
  • Karma: 2556
  • Gender: Female
  • well known as hyke.
Re: make someone laugh, pt 2
« Reply #1130 on: December 01, 2015, 02:33:02 AM »
Who's there?
I can do upside down chocolate moo things!

Offline Trigger 11

  • Dark Jedi Master
  • Elder
  • Obsessive Postwhore
  • *****
  • Posts: 8747
  • Karma: 438
  • May the FORCE be with you...always!!!
Re: make someone laugh, pt 2
« Reply #1131 on: December 01, 2015, 05:46:43 PM »
Me you big dummy!  ;)
Crazy, I'm halfway to crazy
Suicide would waste me
Homicide would break me
Tongue tied and tied to the tongue
Tongue tied and tied to the tongue
Oh, is life as bad as dreams
I guess that's just the way it seems

Offline Gopher Gary

  • sockpuppet alert!
  • Maniacal Postwhore
  • *
  • Posts: 12586
  • Karma: 647
  • I'm not wearing pants.
Re: make someone laugh, pt 2
« Reply #1132 on: December 04, 2015, 07:36:40 PM »
:gopher:

Offline odeon

  • Witchlet of the Aspie Elite
  • Webmaster
  • Postwhore Beyond Repair
  • *****
  • Posts: 108818
  • Karma: 4477
  • Gender: Male
  • Replacement Despot
"Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former."

- Albert Einstein

Offline 'andersom'

  • Pure Chocolate Bovine PIMP of the Aspie Elite
  • Elder
  • Almighty Postwhore
  • *****
  • Posts: 39199
  • Karma: 2556
  • Gender: Female
  • well known as hyke.
I can do upside down chocolate moo things!

Offline Bastet

  • Psychotic Mentally Deficient Deranged Bitch
  • Elder
  • Obsessive Postwhore
  • *****
  • Posts: 6007
  • Karma: 633
  • Gender: Female
  • MeOW!
Re: make someone laugh, pt 2
« Reply #1135 on: December 24, 2015, 07:46:51 PM »
:kitten: OBSESSIVE AILUROPHILE :kitten:


It is far better for people to hate you for doing the right thing than for people to love you for doing the wrong thing. Never ever forget that.

Offline odeon

  • Witchlet of the Aspie Elite
  • Webmaster
  • Postwhore Beyond Repair
  • *****
  • Posts: 108818
  • Karma: 4477
  • Gender: Male
  • Replacement Despot
Re: make someone laugh, pt 2
« Reply #1136 on: December 25, 2015, 04:26:13 AM »
 :lol1:
"Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former."

- Albert Einstein

Offline Bastet

  • Psychotic Mentally Deficient Deranged Bitch
  • Elder
  • Obsessive Postwhore
  • *****
  • Posts: 6007
  • Karma: 633
  • Gender: Female
  • MeOW!
Re: make someone laugh, pt 2
« Reply #1137 on: January 04, 2016, 05:22:06 PM »
:kitten: OBSESSIVE AILUROPHILE :kitten:


It is far better for people to hate you for doing the right thing than for people to love you for doing the wrong thing. Never ever forget that.

Offline Queen Victoria

  • Ruler of Aspie Universe
  • Elder
  • Almighty Postwhore
  • *****
  • Posts: 28244
  • Karma: 2805
  • Gender: Female
Re: make someone laugh, pt 2
« Reply #1138 on: January 09, 2016, 01:17:11 PM »
The PR was feeling down and asked for a hug.  I gave her a GREAT BIG one.  Squeezed a fart right out of her!

Moral: Small hugs are better.
A good monarch is a treasure. A good politician is an oxymoron.

My brain is both uninhibited and uninhabited.

:qv:

Offline 'andersom'

  • Pure Chocolate Bovine PIMP of the Aspie Elite
  • Elder
  • Almighty Postwhore
  • *****
  • Posts: 39199
  • Karma: 2556
  • Gender: Female
  • well known as hyke.
Re: make someone laugh, pt 2
« Reply #1139 on: January 09, 2016, 01:18:29 PM »
The PR was feeling down and asked for a hug.  I gave her a GREAT BIG one.  Squeezed a fart right out of her!

Moral: Small hugs are better.

Did the two of you feel elevated?
I can do upside down chocolate moo things!