Author Topic: What are you gonna do tomorrow  (Read 61057 times)

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Offline Queen Victoria

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Re: What are you gonna do tomorrow
« Reply #2100 on: August 24, 2016, 02:56:02 PM »
@ Lestat

She's been flip flopping back and forth about ARC, but she's going tomorrow.  My decision.

The rest of your post will require some thought.  She already has an I2 account, but doesn't post, just seems happy to have it and will sometimes ask if we mention her.  There was some discussion about letting someone with her mental limits have an account.  She met the chronological age, but not the mental age that goes with it.  I knew she wouldn't be active, so I felt there wasn't any danger in letting her have an account.  Someone else might be a different situation.
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Offline Icequeen

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Re: What are you gonna do tomorrow
« Reply #2101 on: August 24, 2016, 08:09:52 PM »
First day back to school tomorrow for the boy.

Part of me is like... :asthing:...free time, I might get something done.

The other part of me is thinking about literally trying to drag him there every day...and wonders what miraculous things public school has in store for us yet again this year.  :kapow:

Offline renaeden

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Re: What are you gonna do tomorrow
« Reply #2102 on: August 24, 2016, 11:06:40 PM »
Is it his last year, Icequeen? I know he is a teenager but that's all.

Tomorrow I am going to college for Communications and Word Processing classes. They are quite easy.
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Offline odeon

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Re: What are you gonna do tomorrow
« Reply #2103 on: August 25, 2016, 12:11:02 AM »
@ Lestat

She's been flip flopping back and forth about ARC, but she's going tomorrow.  My decision.

The rest of your post will require some thought.  She already has an I2 account, but doesn't post, just seems happy to have it and will sometimes ask if we mention her.  There was some discussion about letting someone with her mental limits have an account.  She met the chronological age, but not the mental age that goes with it.  I knew she wouldn't be active, so I felt there wasn't any danger in letting her have an account.  Someone else might be a different situation.

Say hi to her from me. :)
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Offline Lestat

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Re: What are you gonna do tomorrow
« Reply #2104 on: August 25, 2016, 03:30:05 AM »
We should not discriminate based upon 'mental age', which is not, unlike age defined by physical existence for a given number of solar rotation cycles relative to the planet of origin and lifespan of the species being assigned the mental age .

I am sure I speak for all of us that there is not a one among us who would actively engage in being a bastard to the PR, and indeed, while I am sure I speak for many more than myself, in my own case, I WILL NOT tolerate it if I see it. Unless she has truly done something so egregious and unforgivable as to deserve a hostile response, then anybody who has a go at her has something else, too.

Namely, 'it coming'. Thats not to say I'd support her doing things such as engaging in bullying of the kind I would come down like a ton of bricks on whoever aimed it her way, I won't excuse it, and I won't assist her in doing it either. But if someone starts bullying HER, then they won't just have her to deal with, they will have me, too. And whether or not she has a thick skin, I most certainly do, and whatever some fucking piece of shit could dish out her way unlooked for, unwanted and undeserved, believe it your (and her) highness, I can, and will serve up a steaming hot plate of far, far worse.

Insofar as how I'll the PR, I will treat her as my equal. Because to me, she IS, in every way possible, my equal. Aside from what generative organs she possesses, any tissue scarring, what is on her vs my chest, fingerprint patterns, eye color potentially and what pattern of chromosomes resides within her cell nuclei, she is, to me, my absolute equal. Not of course counting specific life experiences gone through, and not counting specific skillsets unique to each of us then to me, she is just the same as I am. I don't care if she has MR, not one bit. Well, I do, but only in the sense that I do not like to see, and will not stand for in the slightest, either anybody using that fact as a basis for picking on PR (or others with MR, I've had partners who had MR in one or another form several times in the past, and you damn well bet your arse that anyone giving them grief earned a swift and extremely hostile response that was unbendingly, totally and absolutely unforgiving and without compromise.  Likewise had anyone seedy ever tried taking advantage in a manipulative, self-interested sort of thing way, I wouldn't even have done that. I'd have just forced them to dig a deep pit, kicked them into it, filled it in and left them to die.

I neither appreciate, or will I tolerate 'people' who take it out on people that they judgementally decide are weaker than, and worse yet, because of that, worth less than them. Along with abusing animals, thats one thing that doesn't even bother lighting a short fuze with me. Its true, I DO have a very short fuse where those acts are concerned, but it doesn't get lit and burn through quickly, it just dispenses with the lighting and lets off the charge with a cap.
I don't fucking LIKE bullies. Not at all. I admit, as a very young kid I did sometimes, but only then, and I certainly don't do it now and have not since earlyish childhood. Quite the opposite now, if I see it I will step in, the only reason I wouldn't charge in, is if its going to literally get me killed, good chance of resulting in a stabbing etc. And even then, you can bet that I would start throwing glass bottles, bricks, rocks, whatever came to hand. Or stick a thug and run like the wind:P

On here however, you can be quite sure I will keep an eye out, QV, for her. Not ON her, FOR her. No, I won't report behind her back things told in confidence, I am not a sneak like that, its a disgusting thing to do to someone, I'm not a cowardly little backstabbing Janus, but I will keep an eye open FOR the PR, and if she needs a guy at her back then she's got one. Anyone wants to give her shit, then they will of course have her to give them some in return, but they will also have me for backup. I'm not going to suck her ass ring, not about to brown-nose or get metaphorically pissed on (and before anyone says it, I wouldnt let her do it literally either) but I won't tear strips off her for having a pop at me either.

There, QV, that is my position. I'll treat her as a friend and my equal. Because, whilst a bilateral friendship has of course, yet to be established (and I do hope that there will be one to establish and let grow) I do indeed, regard her as my equal. And will NOT look down on, treat her or speak to her as a lesser being than I, any differences in ability I will accomodate, yes, but that is different. I simply mean that I would make the effort to make sure she doesn't feel as though she is being made fun of, looked on as inferior or less than me, worth less, just that if she needs something explaining, or needs assistance with something, she shall have it, assuming of course that she indeed wants it.

Known a lot of people with MR over my lifetime, grown up with them, have been friends with quite a lot of them, not all, unsurprisingly, and the odd few I couldn't fucking stand. But being a dick is being a dick, and some of the people in question were, well, not to put too fine a point on things, complete and utter smeg'eads:P, and out of those who were autistic and had MR, I've dated a fair few too. And of that subset, I treated those people as I'd wish myself to be treated.

So take from that, as you will QV/PR.

I'll certainly make her feel welcome should she come on I2, I've got her back, and, QV, the above^ is my position on things.

Other than this:

Regarding 'mental age'. Whilst in terms of chronological age, in this day and age it seems like every man and his damn dog is too much in love with age restrictions and discrimination based on duration of existence, there is some need for protection, in certain circumstances.

But once people reach whatever age, then discriminating against them due to personal opinion about them, is wrong. No two ways about it, it just isn't right. They have probably waited patiently to hit the relevant solar cycle numerical quantity, and then to be treated differently from others of their age due to judgements about quality, as opposed to quantity, thats bound to be hurtful and frustrating. And it is wrong.

Its giving the someone or someones in question the message that because they may be different, or deserving of some support that you lack confidence in them and that your not going to give them the chance to prove themselves at whatever it might be. And it is wrong. It is a resounding vote of no confidence, and it is belittling them.

And.

It is wrong.

Beyond the pale. Way, way beyond the pale.

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Offline Lestat

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Re: What are you gonna do tomorrow
« Reply #2105 on: August 25, 2016, 03:31:33 AM »
Oh, and it isn't JUST wrong.

Its an ugly thing to see and an uglier thing to do.

And wrong.
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Offline Icequeen

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Re: What are you gonna do tomorrow
« Reply #2106 on: August 25, 2016, 05:16:34 AM »
Is it his last year, Icequeen? I know he is a teenager but that's all.

Tomorrow I am going to college for Communications and Word Processing classes. They are quite easy.

I only wish.
1 more year after this one hopefully. That's if he doesn't blow it all off and basically shut down before mid-year like he did last year.  :dunno:

Taking it one day at a time.

Good luck with your classes Ren, not sure I would have ever made it in college...you have my admiration.

Offline "couldbecousin"

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Re: What are you gonna do tomorrow
« Reply #2107 on: August 25, 2016, 08:25:46 AM »
Lots of cuddles for The PR.  (Story to follow on Monday)

Ignore things around the house

Today was The PR's first day at the ARC Community Center.  Not a  major failure, but far from a resounding success.  We arrived and I sat with her waiting for the director to come in (she has some serious medical issues and was running late, no big problem).  The PR looked at a magazine she brought, then asked if she could walk around.  She did, quite slowly and sedately.  She came back and said, "I've got a friend."  Grabbed her stuff and went to the back. 

After I talked to the director I went to say good-bye.  The PR was sitting with 3 other clients, having a nice time.

When I went to pick her up, she asked if she HAD to go back there.  Someone stole a charger, someone picks up trash. and it has "Freaks."   She went with some others in the van and drove around the Superdome, why I don't know.  I let things ride until after dinner when we had a gentle talk.  She's going back tomorrow, so we'll take it day by day.

She definitely needs cuddles, hugs and encouragement.  Some of her problem is that most of the clients are more severely delayed than she is.  But, it is what it is and she's going to have to make the best of it.  Mean Mommy, I know, but that's just a part of life.  She can't stay home on the computer all day long.  She must have some outside interests.

  One day at a time.  :hug:
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Offline odeon

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Re: What are you gonna do tomorrow
« Reply #2108 on: August 25, 2016, 10:06:21 AM »
We should not discriminate based upon 'mental age', which is not, unlike age defined by physical existence for a given number of solar rotation cycles relative to the planet of origin and lifespan of the species being assigned the mental age .

I am sure I speak for all of us that there is not a one among us who would actively engage in being a bastard to the PR, and indeed, while I am sure I speak for many more than myself, in my own case, I WILL NOT tolerate it if I see it. Unless she has truly done something so egregious and unforgivable as to deserve a hostile response, then anybody who has a go at her has something else, too.

Namely, 'it coming'. Thats not to say I'd support her doing things such as engaging in bullying of the kind I would come down like a ton of bricks on whoever aimed it her way, I won't excuse it, and I won't assist her in doing it either. But if someone starts bullying HER, then they won't just have her to deal with, they will have me, too. And whether or not she has a thick skin, I most certainly do, and whatever some fucking piece of shit could dish out her way unlooked for, unwanted and undeserved, believe it your (and her) highness, I can, and will serve up a steaming hot plate of far, far worse.

Insofar as how I'll the PR, I will treat her as my equal. Because to me, she IS, in every way possible, my equal. Aside from what generative organs she possesses, any tissue scarring, what is on her vs my chest, fingerprint patterns, eye color potentially and what pattern of chromosomes resides within her cell nuclei, she is, to me, my absolute equal. Not of course counting specific life experiences gone through, and not counting specific skillsets unique to each of us then to me, she is just the same as I am. I don't care if she has MR, not one bit. Well, I do, but only in the sense that I do not like to see, and will not stand for in the slightest, either anybody using that fact as a basis for picking on PR (or others with MR, I've had partners who had MR in one or another form several times in the past, and you damn well bet your arse that anyone giving them grief earned a swift and extremely hostile response that was unbendingly, totally and absolutely unforgiving and without compromise.  Likewise had anyone seedy ever tried taking advantage in a manipulative, self-interested sort of thing way, I wouldn't even have done that. I'd have just forced them to dig a deep pit, kicked them into it, filled it in and left them to die.

I neither appreciate, or will I tolerate 'people' who take it out on people that they judgementally decide are weaker than, and worse yet, because of that, worth less than them. Along with abusing animals, thats one thing that doesn't even bother lighting a short fuze with me. Its true, I DO have a very short fuse where those acts are concerned, but it doesn't get lit and burn through quickly, it just dispenses with the lighting and lets off the charge with a cap.
I don't fucking LIKE bullies. Not at all. I admit, as a very young kid I did sometimes, but only then, and I certainly don't do it now and have not since earlyish childhood. Quite the opposite now, if I see it I will step in, the only reason I wouldn't charge in, is if its going to literally get me killed, good chance of resulting in a stabbing etc. And even then, you can bet that I would start throwing glass bottles, bricks, rocks, whatever came to hand. Or stick a thug and run like the wind:P

On here however, you can be quite sure I will keep an eye out, QV, for her. Not ON her, FOR her. No, I won't report behind her back things told in confidence, I am not a sneak like that, its a disgusting thing to do to someone, I'm not a cowardly little backstabbing Janus, but I will keep an eye open FOR the PR, and if she needs a guy at her back then she's got one. Anyone wants to give her shit, then they will of course have her to give them some in return, but they will also have me for backup. I'm not going to suck her ass ring, not about to brown-nose or get metaphorically pissed on (and before anyone says it, I wouldnt let her do it literally either) but I won't tear strips off her for having a pop at me either.

There, QV, that is my position. I'll treat her as a friend and my equal. Because, whilst a bilateral friendship has of course, yet to be established (and I do hope that there will be one to establish and let grow) I do indeed, regard her as my equal. And will NOT look down on, treat her or speak to her as a lesser being than I, any differences in ability I will accomodate, yes, but that is different. I simply mean that I would make the effort to make sure she doesn't feel as though she is being made fun of, looked on as inferior or less than me, worth less, just that if she needs something explaining, or needs assistance with something, she shall have it, assuming of course that she indeed wants it.

Known a lot of people with MR over my lifetime, grown up with them, have been friends with quite a lot of them, not all, unsurprisingly, and the odd few I couldn't fucking stand. But being a dick is being a dick, and some of the people in question were, well, not to put too fine a point on things, complete and utter smeg'eads:P, and out of those who were autistic and had MR, I've dated a fair few too. And of that subset, I treated those people as I'd wish myself to be treated.

So take from that, as you will QV/PR.

I'll certainly make her feel welcome should she come on I2, I've got her back, and, QV, the above^ is my position on things.

Other than this:

Regarding 'mental age'. Whilst in terms of chronological age, in this day and age it seems like every man and his damn dog is too much in love with age restrictions and discrimination based on duration of existence, there is some need for protection, in certain circumstances.

But once people reach whatever age, then discriminating against them due to personal opinion about them, is wrong. No two ways about it, it just isn't right. They have probably waited patiently to hit the relevant solar cycle numerical quantity, and then to be treated differently from others of their age due to judgements about quality, as opposed to quantity, thats bound to be hurtful and frustrating. And it is wrong.

Its giving the someone or someones in question the message that because they may be different, or deserving of some support that you lack confidence in them and that your not going to give them the chance to prove themselves at whatever it might be. And it is wrong. It is a resounding vote of no confidence, and it is belittling them.

And.

It is wrong.

We've had this discussion, a long time ago, and the result was that the PR was allowed to join. I think the main worry was that she might not be ready for some of the content, not that somebody might treat her badly.

I also think that in the end, the decision was QV's. (Correct me if I'm wrong, please.)
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Offline Queen Victoria

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Re: What are you gonna do tomorrow
« Reply #2109 on: August 25, 2016, 08:28:21 PM »
I really felt it was okay for her to join since I knew her activities would be through me.

She enjoys having members ask about her and will ask after some of the members.

I don't think she's made more than two posts totaling 50 words.  She just enjoys being a part of something in her own way.
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Offline Lestat

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Re: What are you gonna do tomorrow
« Reply #2110 on: August 25, 2016, 10:39:04 PM »
Well I for one would love to see her encouraged to post. And we can always give her some postwhore training.
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Offline DirtDawg

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Re: What are you gonna do tomorrow
« Reply #2111 on: August 26, 2016, 12:00:27 AM »
edit:  She just enjoys being a part of something in her own way.

this is huge.

  and I get it.

My son is old enough to look at boobs if they show up, but I am certain he is still a boob newb, except for one earlier instance when he was being fed that way.

I think many would enjoy his (enormously creative) mind, but he is put off by all the animated smileys.
I know some others are as well.

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Offline Lestat

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Re: What are you gonna do tomorrow
« Reply #2112 on: August 26, 2016, 03:26:07 AM »
So she's a lurker?

Would love to encourage her out of her metaphorical shell. But its good to have her here, if it results in a net gain in pleasurable cognition.
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Offline Icequeen

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Re: What are you gonna do tomorrow
« Reply #2113 on: August 26, 2016, 06:36:11 PM »
Mine will be 18 in March.

He's a little interested.

I honestly don't know how I feel about that.

Selfish maybe. This is the one place I can run to when I need to get away from everything and everyone, without literally running away (which I can't).

...and if I no longer have that? Where do I run then?

Offline renaeden

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Re: What are you gonna do tomorrow
« Reply #2114 on: August 27, 2016, 01:27:02 AM »
Is it his last year, Icequeen? I know he is a teenager but that's all.

Tomorrow I am going to college for Communications and Word Processing classes. They are quite easy.

I only wish.
1 more year after this one hopefully. That's if he doesn't blow it all off and basically shut down before mid-year like he did last year.  :dunno:

Taking it one day at a time.

Good luck with your classes Ren, not sure I would have ever made it in college...you have my admiration.
Thanks! I am only going two days per week. It's all I can handle. More time for homework. ;)

I wish it could be made part-time for your son. School is full-time and stressful!
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