Penti, if you get yourself committed, that will be a brave thing. If you can set yourself some goals, and if you really go for it, it will work. And don't give up too early. Will be a hell sometimes, but, it will help you.
I disagree with Butterflies. I think deleting your account is a good thing, for you. So you can start a new if you want to return after a while.
For now, I can only say, be bold, find out what you need, and ask for it.
Come back, when you have learned the skill of seeing things from different points of view, when you have learned to postpone judgement a bit, when you have learned to see some good in people, and when you have learned to see some good in you too. In short, when you have learned to master some basic skills needed for socialising. Will take a long time. But it will be worth it. You can be funny, you can be caring. You're not a hopeless case. But, you are a real mess at the moment.
In a lot of things in life, you can't change the circumstances, but you can change your reaction on them. And that can make a big difference. Blaming the circumstances will only make you more miserable. And will not help you in getting respected or liked. Whining now and then is great. But keep it to a now and then, and learn to laugh at yourself when you have done that, with some kindness.
