Author Topic: weird news of the day  (Read 645 times)

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Offline skyblue1

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weird news of the day
« on: February 03, 2010, 06:57:28 PM »
Nation's Strangers Decry Negative Portrayal Among ChildrenFebruary 2, 2010 | Issue 46•05
 A group of strangers demands an end to the humiliation of having to pretend to read newspapers at public playgrounds.

 WASHINGTON—Addressing reporters from behind a row of juniper bushes, a coalition of sketchy single men gathered in Washington on Monday to protest the "negative, demeaning, and often hurtful" portrayal of strangers when it comes to the nation's children.
"For years, strangers in this country have been depicted in an unfavorable light," said Strangers of America president Paul Hughes, dressed in his usual outfit of trench coat, gray slacks, and colorful Yu-gi-oh! baseball cap. "These days, it's almost impossible for a stranger to wake up in the morning, drive to a nearby park, and spend the afternoon quietly watching from the sidelines without young boys and girls immediately jumping to conclusions."
"It's a sad fact, but most children won't even talk to us at all," Hughes, 33, added. "Not even the little blond-haired ones."


According to SOA organizer Charles "Smiling Chuck" Osterhaus, strangers across the United States have long faced discrimination, with parents, teachers, and other authority figures regularly spreading lies about their intentions and warning children to refrain from accepting any of the delicious, delicious candy they have to offer.
In fact, Osterhaus said, a recent survey conducted by the organization found that almost 99 percent of all strangers are not actually the "bad men" they are so often portrayed to be, and most really do have the latest video games and comic books waiting back in their awesome basements, where there aren't any boring rules and everyone can just have fun.
"Why should I be made to feel like some kind of monster, just because I happen to own a van, and enjoy driving that van around the city, with maybe a little puppy or an adorable kitty cat in the backseat?" said Chicago-area stranger Dale Phelan, adding that it's wrong to judge people based on how they look, or the fact that they've never had a serious relationship their whole adult lives. "I've heard some of the terrible things people say about us strangers, and to be honest, not only is it hurtful, but the whole thing just makes me feel kind of sad."
Added Phelan to a group of first-graders leaving a nearby library, "You wouldn't want to see your ol' pal Dale sad, now, would you?"
The group maintains they wouldn't be strangers anymore if children got to know them, perhaps after a ride to the pet store.
In response to what it called a "grave injustice" predicated more on fear-mongering and rumors than actual fact, Strangers of America announced that it would be taking a number of steps to restore the images of its members.
SOA chairman Kurt Brimer, who reportedly loves drinking orange soda, and especially likes it when the bubbles tickle his nose, told reporters that he would be holding a sleepover this Friday in an effort to dispel a number of ugly myths, and was inviting all children from the neighborhood, especially Brian or his brother Matthew, to attend.
Likewise, self-described "perfectly harmless" stranger Doug Shannow said that he was encouraging kids who still have doubts to just approach him anytime during the week, and he'd take them to McDonald's and prove that there's absolutely nothing to be afraid of.
"Even the word 'stranger' is offensive," said a local Denver resident, who looked vaguely familiar, though no one in attendance could place where they knew him from. "I'm friends with a lot of boys and girls, and I can assure you that they all know me quite well."
So far, however, the efforts of the nation's strangers don't seem to have produced any meaningful change.
"No way, Jose!" said Seattle-area second-grader Joshua Freeberg, addressing a nearby stranger lingering behind a local arcade. "You want to touch my wiener."

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/100538

Offline McGiver

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Re: weird news of the day
« Reply #1 on: February 03, 2010, 07:53:26 PM »
a front for a paedo organization.

why would they want children to talk to them?

why would they pretend to read a newspaper at a public park?
Misunderstood.

Offline skyblue1

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Re: weird news of the day
« Reply #2 on: February 03, 2010, 07:59:57 PM »
a front for a paedo organization.

why would they want children to talk to them?

why would they pretend to read a newspaper at a public park?
It is satire

Offline McGiver

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Re: weird news of the day
« Reply #3 on: February 03, 2010, 08:04:32 PM »
a front for a paedo organization.

why would they want children to talk to them?

why would they pretend to read a newspaper at a public park?
It is satire
is that what the onion is?
Misunderstood.

Offline skyblue1

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Re: weird news of the day
« Reply #4 on: February 03, 2010, 08:10:19 PM »
a front for a paedo organization.

why would they want children to talk to them?

why would they pretend to read a newspaper at a public park?
It is satire
is that what the onion is?
Yes , The Onion is good for the occasional chuckle .

Offline McGiver

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Re: weird news of the day
« Reply #5 on: February 03, 2010, 08:11:59 PM »
a front for a paedo organization.

why would they want children to talk to them?

why would they pretend to read a newspaper at a public park?
It is satire
is that what the onion is?
Yes , The Onion is good for the occasional chuckle .
i have seen it quoted alot but i never knew what it was.
Misunderstood.

Offline Callaway

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Re: weird news of the day
« Reply #6 on: February 03, 2010, 08:16:11 PM »
a front for a paedo organization.

why would they want children to talk to them?

why would they pretend to read a newspaper at a public park?
It is satire
is that what the onion is?

Yes, it's purely satire.

Offline Parts

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Re: weird news of the day
« Reply #7 on: February 03, 2010, 08:59:28 PM »
Satire yes but the problem is real.  As a man just walking a dog in a park arouses suspicion of some.  The worst yet I have had to deal with is a bus stop that was at the end of a driveway where I was doing work with all the kids playing in it. The  drive was long and you could not see the house at the time I had the classic nondescript white van I had to stop and ask them to move as all the parents got out of their bmw's to confront me even though I had the blinker on and was trying to go down the drive
"Eat it up.  Wear it out.  Make it do or do without." 

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Offline 'andersom'

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Re: weird news of the day
« Reply #8 on: January 17, 2019, 02:53:56 AM »
https://gizmodo.com/man-injects-18-doses-of-semen-into-arm-to-cure-back-pai-1831817131/amp
Quote
.

Man Injects 18 'Doses' of Semen Into Arm to Cure Back Pain, Ends Up in Hospital

In a new case study, Irish doctors report the baffling case of a 33-year-old man who injected his own semen intravenously for a year and a half, a self-developed “cure” intended to treat his chronic back pain. It does not appear to have worked.

After reportedly injecting semen into his arm every month for 18 months, the man finally sought medical attention—but not for his arm. The patient instead complained of “severe, sudden onset lower pack pain,” having lifted a “heavy steel object” three days beforehand. During his checkup, the doctor found a patch of red swelling on his right forearm, after which the man admitted he’d been injecting himself with his own semen using a hypodermic needle he purchased online.

This time around, he had injected three “doses” of semen, entering both his blood vessels and his muscles.


Photo: Dunne et al (Irish Medical Journal)
“This is the first reported case of semen injection for use as a medical treatment,” the doctors at Adelaide and Meath Hospital in Ireland wrote in the case study, titled “Semenly” Harmless Back Pain: An Unusual Presentation of a Subcutaneous Abscess,” published in the Irish Medical Journal.

The swollen region grew and hardened around the area on his arm where he’d injected his semen, and an x-ray revealed an area of trapped air beneath the man’s skin. The doctors immediately hospitalized the patient, treating him with an intravenous antimicrobial therapy. After the patient’s back pain improved, he discharged himself.

The doctors performed a search of the medical literature and beyond, revealing not a single case of intravenous semen injection for back pain. According to the case study:

Although there is a report of the effects of subcutaneous semen injection into rats and rabbits, there were no cases of intravenous semen injection into humans found across the literature. A search of more eclectic internet sites and forums found no other documentation of semen injection for back pain treatment or other uses. Attempts at intravenous and arterial injection of harmful substances such as mercury, gasoline, charcoal lighter fluid, hydrochloric acid and hydrocarbon are well described and are generally carried out in attempted suicide as opposed to the case detailed above in which the patient was aiming to relieve physical discomfort.

After dutifully reporting the first ever case of a man injecting himself with his own semen to try to treat his back pain, the authors offered a warning: It’s dangerous for the untrained to perform intravenous injections on themselves, especially when they’re injecting things that aren’t supposed to be injected into veins, like semen.

This isn’t the first time we’ve seen something... like this. Perhaps this case reminds you of Aaron Traywick, the deceased biohacker who once gave himself an unregulated herpes treatment in front of a crowd.

The doctors behind the new case study note that the semen-injecting patient demonstrates the risks of experimenting on yourself prior to safety-assessed clinical research.

© 2019 Gizmodo Media Group
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Offline odeon

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Re: weird news of the day
« Reply #9 on: January 17, 2019, 11:32:41 AM »
I saw that one. :zombiefuck:
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Offline Minister Of Silly Walks

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Re: weird news of the day
« Reply #10 on: January 19, 2019, 04:15:36 PM »
Teaching kids about "stranger danger" used to be a big deal in Australia.

Eventually people started to point out the obvious. The number of children harmed by strangers was tiny compared to the number of children harmed by people they knew.

"Stranger Danger" was quietly dropped. In hindsight it was just another big fat lie that we like to tell ourselves.
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Offline 'andersom'

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Re: weird news of the day
« Reply #11 on: January 19, 2019, 04:55:30 PM »
"Niet met vreemde mannen meegaan" (don't go with strange men) was what we as kids got told. Not bad advice in itself. Strange men that just want to take you with them probably aren't the safest persons to be around as a kid.

But yes, chance that a kid gets abused by someone it trusts is way way bigger.

Scary concept for parents though. Teaching your kids to trust nobody, including its parents is not a happy alternative.
« Last Edit: January 19, 2019, 04:57:06 PM by 'andersom' »
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Offline Minister Of Silly Walks

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Re: weird news of the day
« Reply #12 on: January 19, 2019, 07:44:59 PM »
"Niet met vreemde mannen meegaan" (don't go with strange men) was what we as kids got told. Not bad advice in itself. Strange men that just want to take you with them probably aren't the safest persons to be around as a kid.

But yes, chance that a kid gets abused by someone it trusts is way way bigger.

Scary concept for parents though. Teaching your kids to trust nobody, including its parents is not a happy alternative.

I think the idea is to teach kids to speak up when someone treats them in a way that they are not comfortable with. Not to let anyone pressure them into keeping something secret. The idea of strangers = bad, people you know = better, was counter to that.

The problem has always been that people tend to dismiss things that children say, and dismiss the physical and emotional rights of children.
“When men oppress their fellow men, the oppressor ever finds, in the character of the oppressed, a full justification for his oppression.” Frederick Douglass

Offline Calandale

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Re: weird news of the day
« Reply #13 on: January 20, 2019, 03:59:27 AM »


I think the idea is to teach kids to speak up when someone treats them in a way that they are not comfortable with. Not to let anyone pressure them into keeping something secret. The idea of strangers = bad, people you know = better, was counter to that.


I fully support this. A kid should definitely be comfortable with the abuse.