Post your poop stories here!
NO googled images. The only images welcomed are of _your own_ poop. I'd really just prefer stories or anecdotes tho.
1. My turk ex-best-friend (looong story, maybe later)
1a) Watched him poop on a construction site. Remarcable poop, perfect spiral. We found a stick and poked it.
1b) Watched him poop in the forest, again, nice spiral. Poked it w a stick and laughed.
1c) Met him on the way home from the store. He had a weird wide grin from a distance, that he kept all the way past me, muttering quickly "Gotta go home! Pooped myself!" we were maybe 16-17
apparently it was a major shart.
He told me later he casually threw the poopy undies on the floor, and told his mother to come clean
2. My schizo-best-friend (clinically so. alkie too!)
2a) He has tasted his own piss, also managed to pour it on others (on the bus (from a bottle (with a friend (laughing (soaked))))) anyway, at a cute little cafeteria called "Grandma's" we had some beers, and i "jokingly accused" him of having also tasted his own poop. To which he got up, and proclaimed "I have NEVER eaten my own feces!!!"
"sit... the fuck... down... "
people DID turn around and stare. yes yes yes
2b) He brought his own poop in a tiny little self-closing plastic bag. He had gotten himself banned from a nightclub here, for trying to wrestle back (clumsily and poorly) a self-brought whiskey bottle from the bouncers. We went in early, no people, they let him in as a gesture of peace, and he left the bag on a chair as a gesture of "up yours!"
3. My dad
3a) His flat got flooded w sewers when i was little
3b) He farted in the elevator at work during a city-wide evacuation due to a dangerous gas leak from the sewers. The gas was described as "aromatic" and someone in the elevator actually said they could scent the aromatic smell... i think 11 people got hospitalized, and 2-3 died or so :I (not cus of my dad tho! yuk yuk!)
3c) One time we were walking in some village in southern norway, he pointed at a dog-poo and said "Mirad! Caca!" and since then, i always do that with my friends when i spot a poop. "Look! A poop!"
4) Me.
4a) Pooped myself when i was little, just home from school. Couldnt hold it
4b) Sharted in the *military
I had just sat up on the bed, i stealthninjaed my way to my locker, and blended with the walls i swear wooosh to the bathrooms, dispose of sharty undies into toilet, flush, wipe like a hero, shower and _even_ returned to sit back on the bed, and continue that yawn i was working on
*obligatory. ended it early. now i wish i didnt
i like guns!
4c) I've wiped my ass with magazines, ripped sheets, and the cardboard roll the toiletpaper's rolled around.
4d) The same trip where my dad first pointed at the poop, some days later we were once again off into some hilly nomansland by the southern coasts. Sheep-land.
Long endless roads with nothing but wind, sheep and coast. I had to poop.
And it was me, my dads wife's sister, her kid and my brother. I was NOT gonna sit down and poop in front of them, even if they said it would "be okay" no fucking way. The road didnt end, and eventually i had to poop SO badly, that every step had to be calculated in force, not too fast cus i'd burst, not too slow, cus i hadnt a second to loose!
In THIS state i even wasted many minutes rumaging around an empty and locked little storage complex, and had to walk back to the road, and continue upwards.
Constant pain and constant body-focus on the ass. Clench, clench, clench!
Found a little roadside diner, hopped in "Toilet for the love of god!!!" "Sorry, for employees only!" she said, i diiived past her, into the toilet, which - - - HAD A 3 inch GAP between the door and the floor, yes yes, and i pooped so loudly, oh she KNEW i had to poop! Everyone in there got to know!
Your turns :]
Semicolon, where are you? We miss you!