Author Topic: make someone laugh  (Read 138378 times)

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Offline El

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #780 on: May 16, 2007, 08:41:07 PM »
Quote
Mr Jones related an incident from "some time back" when IBM Canada Ltd. of Markham, Ontario, ordered some parts from a new supplier in Japan. The company noted in its order that acceptable quality allowed for 1.5% defects (a fairly high standard in North America at that time).

The Japanese sent the order, with a few parts packaged separately in plastic. The accompanying letter said: "We don't know why you want 1.5% defective parts, but for your convenience, we've packaged them separately."

- excerpted from an article in The (Toronto) Globe and Mail

Lol!!!
it is well known that PMS Elle is evil.
I think you'd fit in a 12" or at least a 16" firework mortar
You win this thread because that's most unsettling to even think about.

Offline Eclair

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #781 on: May 16, 2007, 09:39:18 PM »
http://www.engrish.com/

Always amuses me...especially the clothing section.

Offline Calandale

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #782 on: May 18, 2007, 02:06:00 PM »


Saw one of these on a girl today.
Thought there was an "I do" in there though.  :angel:

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #783 on: May 18, 2007, 10:40:35 PM »
Mellisa Ethrige passed away today..................... she was found face down in Ricky Lake.

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #784 on: May 19, 2007, 11:22:22 AM »
Damn I had a spat with her last night, but this time I paid attention to how I felt.  As I said, AS is not so bad if your not a complete dumbass.  I did a very different thing this time and I am so proud.  I am ready for that manager postion at Taco bell but they're smart enough to not hire me, and ready to marry her assbecause her ass looks better than her face.  I knew I could if I put my mind to it.  I just keep getting better and better everydaywhich doesn't say much, each day is a day that I have healed my body against non celiac gluten sensitivity with casein allergy, which is responsible for all my disfuctionalness including CPSTDbecause i refuse to take responsibility for myself.  Those disorders drain the body of life and make it easy for me to jack off constantly.  I have been acting like my brother more and more now showing that I am indeed becoming a total fucktwit.  We are almost ferternal twins and that shouls scare you.  Before I did not want a tatooe then one night I was thinking because my stupidbitch has been bugging me to get one.   I am pussywhipped now, and I will go for the earrings she wants to.  They do no lasting damage to my body only my self-respect.  I treat women the same as my brother, only I am far more genetically damaged than him.  He is a little more of a liberal than me, and I think its too much.  I do slip around myself but not as much as him.  I don't drink alcohol and I workout.  The dirty sexual shit me and my gf have planned is something we will never get around to doing, but I think our favorite place to fuck is lame.

Fixed.

Offline El

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #785 on: May 21, 2007, 06:18:55 PM »
it is well known that PMS Elle is evil.
I think you'd fit in a 12" or at least a 16" firework mortar
You win this thread because that's most unsettling to even think about.

Offline McGiver

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Misunderstood.

Offline DirtDawg

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #787 on: May 24, 2007, 09:05:47 AM »

Not really funny, but I thought McJ might appreciate this one.

http://www.superlaugh.com/1/oops.htm
Jimi Hendrix: When the power of love overcomes the love of power the world will know peace. 

Ghandi: Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.

The end result of life's daily pain and suffering, trials and failures, tears and laughter, readings and listenings is an accumulation of wisdom in its purest form.

Offline El

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it is well known that PMS Elle is evil.
I think you'd fit in a 12" or at least a 16" firework mortar
You win this thread because that's most unsettling to even think about.

Offline Callaway

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #789 on: May 26, 2007, 02:14:25 AM »

    CURTAIN RODS---- PRICELESS

She spent the first day packing her belongings into boxes, crates and suitcases.

On the second day, she had the movers come and collect her things.

On the third day, she sat down for the last time at their beautiful dining room table by candle-light, put on some soft background music, and feasted on a pound of shrimp, a jar of caviar, and a bottle of spring-water.

When she had finished, she went into each and every room and deposited a few half-eaten shrimp shells dipped in caviar into the hollow of the curtain rods.

She then cleaned up the kitchen and left.

When the husband returned with his new girlfriend, all was bliss for the first few days.

Then slowly, the house began to smell.

They tried everything; cleaning, mopping and airing the place out.

Vents were checked for dead rodents and carpets were steam cleaned.

Air fresheners were hung everywhere.  Exterminators were brought in to set off gas canisters, during which they had to move out for a few days and in the end they even paid to replace the expensive wool carpeting. Nothing worked.

People stopped coming over to visit.

Repairmen refused to work in the house.

The maid quit.

Finally, they could not take the stench any longer and decided to move.

A month later, even though they had cut their price in half, they could not find a buyer for their stinky house.

Word got out and eventually even the local realtors refused to return their calls.

Finally, they had to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to purchase a new place.

The ex-wife called the man and asked how things were going.

He told her the saga of the rotting house. She listened politely and said that she missed her old home terribly and would be willing to reduce her divorce settlement in exchange for getting the house back.

Knowing his ex-wife had no idea how bad the smell was, he agreed on a price that was about 1/10th of what the house had been worth, but only if she were to sign the papers that very day.

She agreed and within the hour his lawyers delivered the paperwork.

A week later the man and his girlfriend stood smiling as they watched the moving company pack everything to take to their new home......

And to spite the ex-wife, they even took the curtain rods!!!!!!

I LOVE A HAPPY ENDING, DON'T YOU?


Offline Eclair

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #790 on: May 26, 2007, 02:15:54 AM »


Saw one of these on a girl today.
Thought there was an "I do" in there though.  :angel:
Thought she was the girl of your dreams for a moment then, did you?

Offline Calandale

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #791 on: May 26, 2007, 02:19:11 AM »
Nah. I figure I wouldn't mind someone who
was hooked on trying a dog once - but if
it was normal for them, I think I'd be bothered.

Offline El

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #792 on: May 26, 2007, 12:27:01 PM »
+ for callaway.

And I had to share this dog breed's name.  It's really, really immature but I think it's extremely funny.
it is well known that PMS Elle is evil.
I think you'd fit in a 12" or at least a 16" firework mortar
You win this thread because that's most unsettling to even think about.

Offline Calandale

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #793 on: May 26, 2007, 03:23:30 PM »
My mom always got a kick out of their name.
Just before she'd kick them.

Offline Callaway

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Re: make someone laugh
« Reply #794 on: May 26, 2007, 07:04:02 PM »
A Shih-Poo?  It's a cute little dog.  I had a Peke-a-poo once.