Author Topic: Ask Pyraxis anything  (Read 42898 times)

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Offline Pyraxis

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Ask Pyraxis anything
« on: May 27, 2006, 06:49:06 PM »
All right, I give in, I'll be an attention whore too. Some of these questions are getting too juicy to pass up.

There are a few questions I'd evade, but I don't think anyone here knows enough about me to ask them.

So - if you give a damn - ask Pyraxis anything.
You'll never self-actualize the subconscious canopy of stardust with that attitude.

Offline McGiver

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Re: Ask Pyraxis anything
« Reply #1 on: May 27, 2006, 06:54:24 PM »
you asked for it, let me dive right in and find one of those evasive questions.  now mind you, this is just based upon correlations and have had no straightforward admission from you.

are you secretly in love with nomaken?
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Offline Pyraxis

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Re: Ask Pyraxis anything
« Reply #2 on: May 27, 2006, 07:14:01 PM »
Actually, I'm happy to answer that one, since I figured people (including Nomaken himself) were probably wondering.

When he posted on what he wanted in an SO, my first response was holy shit, it's a damn shame I'm not looking for a partner, because if I was, this sounds pretty close to perfect. Over the next couple days I decided that even if I was in the market, it probably wouldn't work, for a few reasons.

One, I take myself too seriously for him. I don't think he would respond to symbol-stalking, and he doesn't seem to have much sense of the sacred... I would miss the opportunity to share passion if I were with someone who gets such a kick out of knocking down taboos, because they'd inevitably target ones I didn't want broken. Two, he said he was looking for someone who would have at least some time to spend with him outside of their quest. My quest takes up pretty much my entire non-resting existence, and I would have a real hard time believing someone would actually be willing to accept the degree to which I would ignore them. Three, I think he's more interested in sex than he cares to admit (else why the lucid dreaming?)... and I've got quite a lot of living to do before (or if) I ever decided to figure out sexuality. Four, I doubt I'm fun-loving enough for him, my sense of humor is kinda broken. There's also the physical factor. I highly doubt he's as repulsive as he likes to pretend, and I admit the androgyny is a cool perk, but I would still have a hard time finding the desire to cuddle with someone who rarely bathes. I don't even like minestrone.
You'll never self-actualize the subconscious canopy of stardust with that attitude.

Offline McGiver

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Re: Ask Pyraxis anything
« Reply #3 on: May 27, 2006, 07:17:49 PM »
Quote
symbol-stalking, and he doesn't seem to have much sense of the sacred

what exactly is this?
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Offline Pyraxis

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Re: Ask Pyraxis anything
« Reply #4 on: May 27, 2006, 07:30:03 PM »
Hard to describe but I will try. The bulk of my interactions with Neuroman would fall under the category of symbol-stalking. My interactions with Ghosthunter on WrongPlanet also would count. The exchange of poetry, for example. It's the edging-away, leading-on dance between two people who are both internally conflicted between approach and avoid, fear and the desire for human contact. Speaking to each other through symbols and interpretations and subtlety instead of outright open honesty.

Quite alien to you, I'm sure.

Sense of the sacred basically means I would want to be able to show something highly important to me (creative work for example) and have them give it time and attention, and take it seriously, simply because they knew that it was important to me. It's a kind of respect that I would be happy to return.
You'll never self-actualize the subconscious canopy of stardust with that attitude.

Offline McGiver

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Re: Ask Pyraxis anything
« Reply #5 on: May 27, 2006, 07:33:16 PM »
you seem quite complex.  even moreso than i had thought.

do you, even know you?  or are you still unwrapping yourself to yourself with each passing day?
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Offline Nomaken

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Re: Ask Pyraxis anything
« Reply #6 on: May 27, 2006, 07:41:25 PM »
I do respect things which people find truely sacred.  What I like to attack are the things people don't really find sacred, they just say it is, almost insulting the concept of sacred.

And when I answered about the lucid dreaming I was trying to emphasis that I really have no idea(I can't even feel a hint of an emotion that would imply something about) why when I dream I am such a horny bastard.  Because when I'm awake I feel like i'm around a bunch of spider monkeys when i'm around other guys.

And the reason I don't bathe is because I have no reason to.  And that I dislike the bathing system I grew up with.  When I work as a teacher or a psychologist for a couple of years, i'm going to build a CUSTOM bathroom that is so convenient and comfortable it will make regular bathing fun.

As for that symbol stalking thing, it sounds fun, but it also sounds a bit stressful, because I'd always worry about my preformance.
And as always, these are simply my worthless opinions.
Reverence is fine, Sanctity is silly.
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Offline Pyraxis

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Re: Ask Pyraxis anything
« Reply #7 on: May 27, 2006, 07:44:31 PM »
I'll take that as a compliment.

I like to think I've got myself totally figured out by this point. I'm through with analyzing the past for example - there's nothing left to analyze. And I've turned my focus externally because I need more stimuli and practical experience instead of just living in my head.

But certain of my friends would beg to differ. A quote from an IM conversation a few days ago (reconstructed as best as I can remember): "For someone who thinks about the human mind as much as you do, you really have no freaking clue."
You'll never self-actualize the subconscious canopy of stardust with that attitude.

Offline McGiver

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Re: Ask Pyraxis anything
« Reply #8 on: May 27, 2006, 08:37:42 PM »
Quote
"For someone who thinks about the human mind as much as you do, you really have no freaking clue."

do you think it is even possible to understand even a small portion of the human mind?

rather, don't you think that it is quite complex and so fragile that to fully know it would be a mind fuck, all unto itself?
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Offline McGiver

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Re: Ask Pyraxis anything
« Reply #9 on: May 27, 2006, 08:43:58 PM »
before i forget to ask
4 questions:

1.)  do you really enjoy the x-men?
2.)  have you seen the new x-men movie?
3.) why do they call it x-men, when their are mutant women?
4.) do you consider yourself a mutant?
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Offline Pyraxis

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Re: Ask Pyraxis anything
« Reply #10 on: May 27, 2006, 08:54:16 PM »
I believe it's possible to understand anything. However, the human mind is one of the most complex systems out there. The only thing more complex I've found is sociology/politics... 'cause then you're not dealing with one mind, but billions, all operating simultaneously. Sociology is one of my current perseverations.

When I say I've got myself figured out, I mean that I have an operating knowledge of my motivations, desires, and goals. All that is subject to change in the future. I also probably shouldn't have said totally figured out, because yes it is a mindfuck, in a way.

However I'm a firm believer in the idea that just because a thing is understood, doesn't make it any less valuable or worthwhile. That's a common and annoying fallacy that I ran into a lot, especially at art school and among religious types - the idea that if it can be scientifically explained, if it can be "reduced" to materialism, it's no longer special. The idea that god is god because of his/her/its unknowability, because it's totally beyond human comprehension, ever. Or the idea that it's not real art, it's just craft, unless it comes straight out of someone's Freudian unconscious. The problem with that was that with many of these so-called artworks, I could explain them, I could see how to mimic them well enough to pass an art equivalent of the Turing test, and I could trace them back to mental motivations on the part of the artist that demonstrated values which deserved only scorn when brought into the open.

Claiming one cannot understand one's own unconscious is generally (not always though!) born of laziness or ignorance of psychology. However I believe it's possible to mathematically prove that a contained system can never fully understand itself. I don't know the proof offhand, but I could probably track it down if anyone gave a damn.
You'll never self-actualize the subconscious canopy of stardust with that attitude.

Offline Nomaken

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Re: Ask Pyraxis anything
« Reply #11 on: May 27, 2006, 09:11:10 PM »
How would you like your funeral conducted?
And as always, these are simply my worthless opinions.
Reverence is fine, Sanctity is silly.
We're all fucked, it helps to remember that.

Offline Pyraxis

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Re: Ask Pyraxis anything
« Reply #12 on: May 27, 2006, 09:19:34 PM »
1.)  do you really enjoy the x-men?

I like them, but not obsessively. I changed my avatar temporarily to celebrate the third movie coming out, because the first two were freaking awesome. I'm sure I'll change it back pretty soon, when it's no longer interesting.

2.)  have you seen the new x-men movie?

Hell yeah, I saw it last night. Both my current sig and avatar subtitle are references to it. I changed them as a precursor to the (don't click unless you don't mind spoilers!) rant I was planning on writing but unfortunately didn't have time to finish and post it till this evening.

3.) why do they call it x-men, when their are mutant women?

Damned if I know. I have no problem with referring to humankind as "men", it's just archaic language. I don't honestly think that people used it to imply that females weren't human, so I just read "men" as "people" in that context.

4.) do you consider yourself a mutant?

Nope, unless autism/asperger's turns out to be a form ofl mutation. But I'm too similar to the rest of humanity to consider myself anything other than human.
You'll never self-actualize the subconscious canopy of stardust with that attitude.

Offline Pyraxis

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Re: Ask Pyraxis anything
« Reply #13 on: May 27, 2006, 09:26:30 PM »
How would you like your funeral conducted?

Hmm... you'd have to catch me in a more morbid mood for me to actually care, since I wouldn't be around to enjoy it. Though my ideal funeral would probably involve some guy standing over my cryo tank and announcing that he/she had just perfected their method of restoring a human personality from a dormant brain into a revitalized body. Because I want to live forever.  ;D
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Offline McGiver

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Re: Ask Pyraxis anything
« Reply #14 on: May 27, 2006, 10:28:07 PM »
do you think it is possible to stump you with such a deep, profound question that you hadn't already considered and asked of yourself?
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