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Author Topic: My NPD  (Read 5814 times)

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Offline Calandale

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My NPD
« on: February 12, 2008, 12:32:21 AM »
Since Callaway has chosen to attack me,
in regards to my likely NPD, I think it
behooves me to put forth the DSM
criteria, along with why I think I qualify.

It's a much less ugly picture than the
one which she paints. Of course, that
is to be expected, since she seems to
believe in fighting with any available weapon,
whether 'tis an honorable choice or not.


From: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Narcissistic_personality_disorder#DSM_Criteria

Quote
DSM Criteria

A pervasive pattern of grandiosity (in fantasy or behavior), need for admiration, and lack of empathy, beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by five (or more) of the following:[1]

So, the trick is finding five of these
which I fit. Starts out easy enough.

   
Quote
1. has a grandiose sense of self-importance

Hell yes. What is there, besides me, that I
am even close to as certain of? Anyone without,
strikes me as deluded.

   
Quote
2. is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brillance, beauty, or ideal love

Again, yes. These are the very things that can
barely make living worthwhile.

   
Quote
3. believes that he or she is "special" and unique

I am. Not a matter of mere belief. IF I exist,
obviously I'm special. Again, those who don't
answer positive for this are not reasonable.

   
Quote
4. requires excessive admiration

Yes. Not much to say here. I have terribly low
self esteem, and can really do require this.


Ok. That's four for four. Pretty good eh?
But, now it gets trickier. None of these
are as clear, but I do believe I fit into one,
though 'tis not positive.

   
Quote
5. has a sense of entitlement

Well, who doesn't? If your life is cut short, doesn't
that feel unfair? Isn't this merely a matter of seeking
fairness and justice? I think I come close - but it's shaky.

   
Quote
6. is interpersonally exploitative

Not particularly. Indeed, my code of honor makes
it pretty damned hard. My situation with my wife
really underlines this - where I was hurting both of
us (I didn't realize her though), in order to help
make a better future. I SHOULD have taken what
I wanted, as I found 'twas what she wanted. I'm
learning.

   
Quote
7. lacks empathy

Obviously not. I couldn't have acted without empathy.
I would walk through GCS and be brought to tears by
the misery. Indeed, I think I have TOO MUCH empathy.
I feel others' pain, and am wracked by it. Tried to seal
this off, at one point. It was very liberating to allow it
back.

   
Quote
8. is often envious of others or believes others are envious of him or her

Runs close to the entitlement issue. Again, I'm in a gray area here.
Because, my sense of fairness comes into play. But, now that it
looks like I'm going to be rewarded far too well for my own talents,
I rather feel that it's unfair to others. So, this is really a tough sell.

   
Quote
9. shows arrogant, haughty behaviors or attitudes

But look what we find, hiding at the end.  :zoinks:
Not as strongly as the first four, but yeah. Even
when entirely undeserved, I act this way.


But you see, this isn't the picture of some user of
others. It's that of someone who retreats into
fantasy worlds, and dreams of better lives for
himself. It's not that of someone who is tearing
others down, but of someone who is never good
enough, to meet his own demands. Never good
enough to earn the praise that he desires.

The little rushes, like the dancing, or the acting,
or being a hell of a good coder, or being one
of the better mathematical minds in my department,
NONE of this was enough. Indeed, I can't imagine
what could be enough. Even my fantasies fall short.
Even godhood does.


This is only posted here, because I was prevented elsewhere,
for whatever reason.

Offline Callaway

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Re: My NPD
« Reply #1 on: February 12, 2008, 12:36:52 AM »
Quote
This is only posted here, because I was prevented elsewhere,
for whatever reason.

That's weird, Calandale.  When you set the permissions for Postwhore Beyond the Pale, did you set any board-specific ones?

GalileoAce

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Re: My NPD
« Reply #2 on: February 12, 2008, 12:37:24 AM »
You met 5 of the criteria...

Offline Calandale

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Re: My NPD
« Reply #3 on: February 12, 2008, 12:38:35 AM »
Quote
This is only posted here, because I was prevented elsewhere,
for whatever reason.

That's weird, Calandale.  When you set the permissions for Postwhore Beyond the Pale, did you set any board-specific ones?

I shouldn't have. The only screwed up thing was AS Advocacy.

Offline Calandale

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Re: My NPD
« Reply #4 on: February 12, 2008, 12:40:20 AM »
Can't be my doing, because I posted new topics in political pundits
today. My first assumption was (of course) that someone fucked
with the settings, but that seemed a bit too trite for anyone
here. I'm wondering if ANYONE can.

Offline Calandale

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Re: My NPD
« Reply #5 on: February 12, 2008, 12:42:16 AM »
You met 5 of the criteria...

Your point being? This is WHY I claim to be NPD.
But, like AS, not everyone is exactly the same. I'm
sure that there are very manipulative people, with
the condition. Indeed, one could see how con artists
might well fit into some of the requirements. I rather
think my PE was of that ilk.

GalileoAce

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Re: My NPD
« Reply #6 on: February 12, 2008, 12:42:53 AM »
PE?

Offline Calandale

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Re: My NPD
« Reply #7 on: February 12, 2008, 12:46:18 AM »
Psycho Ex.  :zoinks:

GalileoAce

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Re: My NPD
« Reply #8 on: February 12, 2008, 12:51:55 AM »
Ahhhh

Offline Tristeza

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Re: My NPD
« Reply #9 on: February 12, 2008, 08:47:12 AM »
I don't think there's anything wrong with you, Cal.  You're a bit of an attention-hound, but that's what makes you fun.  Your self-esteem sucks, but so does most people's.  You need to work on that.   :police:

My counselor says a certain amount of NPD comes along with AS.  She thinks you're hysterically funny btw.  I quoted you a couple of times yesterday, and got a  :LMAO:  She said you were pretty much dead-on.  Ever considered being a therapist?  You might get through to people better if you have the actual title.   :zoinks:

hats off to the man on top of the world
come crawl up here baby, and we can watch this damn thing turn

Offline Calandale

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Re: My NPD
« Reply #10 on: February 12, 2008, 03:52:43 PM »
I don't think there's anything wrong with you, Cal.  You're a bit of an attention-hound, but that's what makes you fun.  Your self-esteem sucks, but so does most people's.  You need to work on that.   :police:

I am. Only got what I needed to yesterday, by gambling it.
Which put me into a high and rush - but, now, I'm a bit low
again. If things don't go perfectly (I was hoping for a phone call)
it makes me feel like I don't have absolute control. And without,
I have troubles.

Quote
My counselor says a certain amount of NPD comes along with AS.


Yeah, the two are dx'd together.
Quote
She thinks you're hysterically funny btw.  I quoted you a couple of times yesterday, and got a  :LMAO:

Is she cute? Feel free to give her my pictures.   :eyebrows:

 
Quote
She said you were pretty much dead-on.  Ever considered being a therapist?

Gods no! I know nothing except what I've seen in life.
And I can't help myself. How the fuck would platitudes which
don't work for me, help anyone else? That's actually how I feel
about most of them - they tell you this shit about how to help
yourself, but it probably doesn't work for them even.

Quote
You might get through to people better if you have the actual title.   :zoinks:

Didn't help my students to understand me.  :laugh:


Offline Tristeza

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Re: My NPD
« Reply #11 on: February 12, 2008, 04:05:10 PM »
My counselor isn't too big on platitudes, either.  Her parents were both Holocaust survivors, so she doesn't bullshit her patients too much.   :laugh:  That's why I see her - she's actually helpful because she tells the truth.
hats off to the man on top of the world
come crawl up here baby, and we can watch this damn thing turn

Offline Calandale

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Re: My NPD
« Reply #12 on: February 12, 2008, 04:24:48 PM »
Holocaust survivors? Hmm...so the important
issue is that she's probably at least my age.

Ah well.

But wait - does she have a support system?
Because if not, being able to make her co-dependent
might just be worthwhile.

Soph

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Re: My NPD
« Reply #13 on: February 12, 2008, 07:21:42 PM »
I have met a couple holocaust survivors

Offline Tristeza

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Re: My NPD
« Reply #14 on: February 12, 2008, 08:56:31 PM »
Holocaust survivors? Hmm...so the important
issue is that she's probably at least my age.

Ah well.

But wait - does she have a support system?
Because if not, being able to make her co-dependent
might just be worthwhile.
I think that kind of extreme background would make one particularly immune to domestic dramas.

Yeah Cal, she's too old for you!   :laugh:
hats off to the man on top of the world
come crawl up here baby, and we can watch this damn thing turn