Author Topic: Guys and sex  (Read 3689 times)

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Jizz

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Re: Guys and sex
« Reply #30 on: June 08, 2006, 12:30:05 PM »
So my boyfriend says to me the other day, "Guys use masturbation as a snack.  We really want the main meal, (meaning sex with women, or me, in his case) but since women (ie, me) just don't want it 1 to 3 times a day, we masturbate as a between-meal snack."

I think that's pretty funny, actually.  Anybody else have any thoughts on the matter? ???

Post a picture and I'll tell you if I'd rather have a Pot Noodle or a slap up meal of chicken wings garnished with a fine tangy relish.

Offline Nomaken

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Re: Guys and sex
« Reply #31 on: June 08, 2006, 03:40:32 PM »
I don't care what the picture is, I want the chicken wings!
And as always, these are simply my worthless opinions.
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Offline El

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Re: Guys and sex
« Reply #32 on: June 08, 2006, 05:11:57 PM »
Somehow I think the fact that I very very rarely eat real "meals" except when my boyfriend is in the apartment is appropriate to mention here, despite the fact that it's not a metaphor. 
it is well known that PMS Elle is evil.
I think you'd fit in a 12" or at least a 16" firework mortar
You win this thread because that's most unsettling to even think about.

Offline Draggon

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Re: Guys and sex
« Reply #33 on: June 10, 2006, 04:17:58 AM »
"Guys use masturbation as a snack.  We really want the main meal,
I know that in my case I tend to think that actual sex doesn't seem like it'd be more 'filling' than masturbation, I'm more interested in it so that I can experience the act of 'giving'.
But then, I just had a bowl of cereal, an apple and pretzels for dinner last night, so I guess I'm a bit different  :P
"run with a pack, not with a herd"

Offline McGiver

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Re: Guys and sex
« Reply #34 on: June 10, 2006, 06:52:15 AM »
try explaining to the woman of your affections that you are a giver, without her doing this? ::)

the jig is up, women realize that most men are completely full of shit over the subject and all things relating to SEX.

the only thing they will believe for certain is that it is constantly on our minds.

which reminds me, i have to post something in the thread what are you thinking about, right now.
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Offline Draggon

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Re: Guys and sex
« Reply #35 on: June 10, 2006, 08:51:56 AM »
try explaining to the woman of your affections that you are a giver, without her doing this  ::)

the jig is up, women realize that most men are completely full of shit over the subject and all things relating to SEX.

the only thing they will believe for certain is that it is constantly on our minds.

which reminds me, i have to post something in the thread what are you thinking about, right now.

why in the world would I tell her?  ???

The plan would be just to fuck her hard until she passed out, I think she'll get the idea after that
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Re: Guys and sex
« Reply #36 on: June 10, 2006, 08:57:22 AM »

why in the world would I tell her?? ???

The plan would be just to fuck her hard until she passed out, I think she'll get the idea after that

You have never actually had sex with a woman before, have you?

Offline Draggon

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Re: Guys and sex
« Reply #37 on: June 10, 2006, 09:13:42 AM »
ow

Well, your point being?
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Re: Guys and sex
« Reply #38 on: June 10, 2006, 09:40:58 AM »
ow

Well, your point being?

I think your expectations are unrealistic, and I don't want you to be disappointed if your first time does not measure up to your porn movie fantasy.

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Re: Guys and sex
« Reply #39 on: June 10, 2006, 09:49:08 AM »
Dragonn, would you like to here about my first time.  its got all the right ingredients; hilarity, shock, bungling buffoonery, even the days lunch, all happening within a span of 2.4 seconds.


but i am not telling it here.  and i am not sending it via pm, because its too juicy to keep a secret.
just ask, and ye shall...

want to hurry up and get that one over with, so you can start having the 'good stuff'.

thats right  8) moi
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Re: Guys and sex
« Reply #40 on: June 10, 2006, 10:04:10 AM »
Can't say I've ever had a girl pass out on me from being fucked.  I've had a couple get sore from extended fucking though, which is very frustrating, since it generally happens just as I'm beginning to get warmed up.  The closest I've had to a girl passing out on me involved determined oral-digital action which left her somewhat incapacitated for 15 minutes.
Quote
14:10 - Moarskrillex42: She said something about knowing why I wanted to move to Glasgow when she came in. She plopped down on my bed and told me to go ahead and open it for her.

14:11 - Peter5930: So, she thought I was your lover and that I was sending you a box full of sex toys, and that you wanted to move to Glasgow to be with me?

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Re: Guys and sex
« Reply #41 on: June 10, 2006, 10:43:15 AM »
but walked with wobbly legs for hours afterward! ;)
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Offline Peter

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Re: Guys and sex
« Reply #42 on: June 10, 2006, 10:46:37 AM »
Nah, just told stories about me to her friends when she was sensible again, who then interrogated me about what I'd done to her and what tips I had for their boyfriends.
Quote
14:10 - Moarskrillex42: She said something about knowing why I wanted to move to Glasgow when she came in. She plopped down on my bed and told me to go ahead and open it for her.

14:11 - Peter5930: So, she thought I was your lover and that I was sending you a box full of sex toys, and that you wanted to move to Glasgow to be with me?

Offline McGiver

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Re: Guys and sex
« Reply #43 on: June 10, 2006, 11:22:11 AM »
some guys i know have been able to parlay lesser efforts into greater treasures.
you got her talking, huh.
atta boy pete-o
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Re: Guys and sex
« Reply #44 on: June 10, 2006, 02:30:42 PM »
I really wish it wasn't true that it was always on my mind.  I wish I was a deeper human being than that.  Even when i'm not thinking about it so i can hear the thoughts i KNOW my emotions are geared in that direction.  I can feel myself light up at the -emotional level- implication that a girl likes me or could like me.  And these feelings are usually absent for men.  It is very frustrating.  I'd rather be a person who lives to be me, than a person who lives to get sex, so I just try like hell to not pursue anyone purely for the potential affection and I end up not talking to women a lot of the time because i'm afraid my desires taint my words.

I don't want to talk to women I fancy without telling them I fancy them because I feel like I am lying to them.  I feel like being talked to by a person just because they are interested in getting in my shorts would insult me.  It would make the other person look kind of like an animal.  So I really just can't do that to another person.
And as always, these are simply my worthless opinions.
Reverence is fine, Sanctity is silly.
We're all fucked, it helps to remember that.