AOL SUCKS! 
I just tried to cancel my Mother's account, seeing as how she passed away over two weeks ago, and they wouldn't let me. I'm not authorized on the account. WTF? So are they going to keep charging her $17.95/month for eternity? I FUCKING HATE AOL!!!!!!!!
I've heard this kind of story about AOL in the past. When they would not delete my account, many years ago, I just canceled the credit card I had used to set up the account. After about eight months, they stopped billing me and sending nasty emails.
I think part of the problem is that the typical "worker bee" AOL telephone customer service person has a job that is generally geared more towards diffusing customer complaints and may not be allowed to delete accounts, under any circumstances, and most likely these low level employees have to follow a sales script, offering free service for a period, discounted rates, etc. to satisfy a disgruntled customer, but by NO means allow the customer to quit the account (that's the way many telemarketing jobs are and that's really all the 800 number answering staff is). Nothing you can say will get them to STOP with the script for fear of being fired.
Getting past this first level of 'phone drone may be the only way to get anything done. Try asking for a shift manager and tell them you will need to contact their legal department. Obviously, you do have a legal issue where the ethics of their continued billing of a deceased person is in question, so be forceful. What ever you do, don't use her account or even her AOL email address at all.
