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Author Topic: GOOD CLEAN HUMOUR  (Read 554 times)

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Offline Queen Victoria

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Re: GOOD CLEAN HUMOUR
« Reply #15 on: January 17, 2018, 08:28:47 AM »
Lestat, I'm Jewish.
A good monarch is a treasure. A good politician is an oxymoron.

My brain is both uninhibited and uninhabited.

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Offline givvassapaand

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Re: GOOD CLEAN HUMOUR
« Reply #16 on: January 17, 2018, 08:47:46 AM »
 :laugh:
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Offline Lestat

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Re: GOOD CLEAN HUMOUR
« Reply #17 on: January 17, 2018, 01:22:19 PM »
Was that a joke? because with my off color jokes, I target every race or group equally.

Did you hear the one about the autistic hindu yogi found with his eyes poked out?

His last act was to start rocking and stimming. Unfortunately he was on his bed of nails at the time.

What do you call a hindu who's turned around and become an atheist? a hindon't.

What do you call the spazz definition of torture? a one armed woman with rett syndrome hanging from a cliff.

Whats dark, furry, full of liver poisons and mugs other, white, mold colonies in the wallpaper whenever the house owners turn off the lights? Aspergillus nigger. (yup, I even know a couple of naughty biochemistry/biology jokes)



Did you hear about the time a chef with MR got done for homophobia he was innocent of?

He was roasting a plate of faggots at the time...

How to you stop a chav from drowning? you take your foot off of the back of his head.

How SHOULD you stop a chav from drowning? 'what? did I hear you right? you must be kidding me'

I've got jokes for everybody and jokes at the expense of every group. Well i might struggle for say, the waorani amazonian tribe, or barely contacted remote islanders, but MOST of everybody. Its only racism if its both done with hate and disproportionate, no?

And I could tell a jew joke and wish you no offense whatsoever, QV, believe you me, I have no reason to wish ill upon you.
Beyond the pale. Way, way beyond the pale.

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Offline Queen Victoria

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Re: GOOD CLEAN HUMOUR
« Reply #18 on: January 17, 2018, 03:24:24 PM »
No, my post wasn't a joke.  Humour is most likely to offend someone, somewhere, sometime:  animal lovers, Jews, lawyers, women, etc.

Everyone has a right to tell jokes - good jokes, bad jokes, ethnic jokes.  Actually one of my favorite jokes/stories involves an ancient black man and a lawyer.  It's from the 1930's or 1940's. It isn't as funny when I clean up the black language, so I don't tell it.  My choice to exercise or not exercise my right.

Sorry if you took my statement as a criticism of you.  I'm simply making a statement.
« Last Edit: January 17, 2018, 03:26:18 PM by Queen Victoria »
A good monarch is a treasure. A good politician is an oxymoron.

My brain is both uninhibited and uninhabited.

:qv:

Offline Calandale

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Re: GOOD CLEAN HUMOUR
« Reply #19 on: January 17, 2018, 08:11:34 PM »
Still, there ARE other joke and humor threads. It seems disrespectful to
use derogatory or likely offensive humor in this one.


I assumed that was the point actually.

While the first post could be seen as agist, against young children's innocence, I suspect few would take real offense.


Of course, the rodent managed an f-bomb in the second post, so I would guess this is the wrong crowd to expect respect.

« Last Edit: January 17, 2018, 08:14:12 PM by Calandale »

Offline Lestat

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Re: GOOD CLEAN HUMOUR
« Reply #20 on: January 17, 2018, 08:56:55 PM »
I'd kinda figured that four-letter-words etc. counted in good clean humor. It might be profane but not neccessarily a dirty joke if that makes sense. Those, I count as the sexual jokes, innuendo jokes, misogynist/misandrist; bestiality jokes, paedophile jokes etc. Not so much the race jokes, they can still be clean.

I've always thought of a filthy joke as the kind you couldn't tell to a vicar or priest (especially when they are much too busy shagging an altar boy to listen, at the time)-Classic example as to what I see as a dirty joke I just thought up on the fly as a case in point.


A guy walks into a bar, and asks the barmaid 'I'll have a double innuendo please, on the rocks, and make it a stiff one'

So she gives him one. Then she gives him one again, turns round and  pours liquid nitrogen over his cock, drives her car to the beach with the guys mouth duct taped and his hands tied behind his back, ties his frozen knob to the car and throws him off a cliff'
Beyond the pale. Way, way beyond the pale.

Requiescat in pacem, Wolfish, beloved of Pyraxis.

Offline Calandale

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Re: GOOD CLEAN HUMOUR
« Reply #21 on: January 17, 2018, 10:37:30 PM »
I'd assume the 'clean' had neither to do with turning people into soap, nor with sexual.
Indeed, I'd say:


Quote
Q: What do you call a chicken who crosses the road, rolls in dirt and comes back?A: A dirty double-crosser.



would count as a 'clean' joke, even though it is explicitly about dirt. :P


Deliberately offensive humor seems more suited to http://www.intensitysquared.com/index.php/topic,17913


But, maybe I'm just not literal enough.

Offline givvassapaand

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Re: GOOD CLEAN HUMOUR
« Reply #22 on: January 17, 2018, 11:40:18 PM »
I put a  :laugh: because I thought Lestat inadvertently put his foot in it. :dunno:
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Offline Gopher Gary

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Re: GOOD CLEAN HUMOUR
« Reply #23 on: January 20, 2018, 02:51:59 PM »
A recent scientific study showed that out of 2,293,618,367 people, 94% are too lazy to actually read that number.  :zoinks:
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Offline odeon

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Re: GOOD CLEAN HUMOUR
« Reply #24 on: January 20, 2018, 03:57:04 PM »
Wondering how they carried it out. :laugh:
To me it looks like you're saying that banning bombs didn't stop bombs going off therefore there is no point to gun control because it's a mental health issue. 

Offline Gopher Gary

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Re: GOOD CLEAN HUMOUR
« Reply #25 on: January 20, 2018, 06:42:14 PM »
 :zoinks:

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Offline Gopher Gary

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Re: GOOD CLEAN HUMOUR
« Reply #26 on: January 20, 2018, 07:04:24 PM »
Two cows are grazing in a field. One cow says to the other, "You ever worry about that mad cow disease?". The other cow says, "Why would I care? I'm a helicopter!".   :zoinks:
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Offline Queen Victoria

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Re: GOOD CLEAN HUMOUR
« Reply #27 on: January 20, 2018, 08:02:15 PM »
Two good ones, Gary
A good monarch is a treasure. A good politician is an oxymoron.

My brain is both uninhibited and uninhabited.

:qv:

Offline Lestat

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Re: GOOD CLEAN HUMOUR
« Reply #28 on: January 22, 2018, 01:13:47 PM »
What do you get when one of a homosexual  set of twins is blown to pieces?

3 poofs.
Beyond the pale. Way, way beyond the pale.

Requiescat in pacem, Wolfish, beloved of Pyraxis.

Offline Calandale

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Re: GOOD CLEAN HUMOUR
« Reply #29 on: January 22, 2018, 04:26:52 PM »
How do you get an elephant in a bottle with only a pair of tweezers and binoculars?













Use the binoculars backwards, so the elephant is very small.
Pick it up with the tweezers, and drop it in the bottle.