Author Topic: Kids need a new loving good home  (Read 262 times)

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Offline Natalia Evans

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Kids need a new loving good home
« on: April 01, 2017, 01:40:58 AM »
My husband and I decided to retire as parents and give our kids away. We will miss them but promise us to give us lots of pictures of them as they grow and keep us updated about their lives.


Six year old boy

Height: 4 feet one inches
Weight: 58lbs
Eye color: Blue
Hair: short Color: Brown Type: curly when uncut
Teeth: one baby tooth missing and the other one is loose

Interests: Mario Brothers, his 3DS, Legos, watching youtube and making Mario levels, likes to tell jokes and will make up stories and say he was just kidding and he is very creative and will build with stuff, he likes Pokemon and watching TV and likes Nick Jr. Likes to play with Barbies and dolls and play with blocks and likes Shopkins.


Cons: whiny, will ask you the same questions over and over when he wants something, screams when mad, does fake crying when upset. Has a short attention span so he can’t do homework very long and doesn’t know all his numbers or the alphabet yet and still can’t read because of his short attention span. He is also a picky eater and won’t like foods before he tries them and uses hunger as an excuse for his poor behavior when you call him out on it and he goes “hungry.”

Pros: very smart and wants to do chores to earn things and can keep his room clean when motivated and he is very sweet and caring and he loves school.

He will come with all his clothes and toys and books and his video games and his medicine and IEP, shoes, plates, cups, sheets and blankets, bed. Health insurance not included.


Two year old girl
Height: about three feet
Weight: About 34 pounds
Eye color: blue
Hair: short and curly Color: Brown
Teeth: all 20 baby teeth intact

Interests: tea parties, dresses, make up, jewelry, dolls, scribbling, her underwear, watching TV, Little Charmers, Shopkins, Dore the Exploror and Nick Jr.

Cons: still not bowel trained so she will try and hide and poop when she can so never leave her alone or let her go off alone and she is in her early stages of potty training so she could regress in it and start refusing to sit on the potty again and just go in her pants. Also gets stubborn and defiant when tired. Still uses fingers to eat her food and I tell her many times “no fingers” and she stops and then does it again and she will sometimes tear her room apart and one of her books.

Pros: Can talk and is starting to use complete sentences and tell you stories, can help herself to the fridge and take food out and give it to you for when she is hungry, will want to brush her teeth and can put herself on the potty all by herself. Is very loving and will not go outside without her shoes.

She will come with all her toys and clothes and her toddler bed and her pull ups she still uses for at night and she will come with all her shoes, toddler silverware and her cups and bowls and plates, strollers, toddler sheets and blankets. Health insurance not included.



These children are trauma free and come from a happy home and daughter is free of any special needs and the son is active and must make noise while playing and has a short attention span but can wait in lines now.
You can either come to pick them up or we can send them to you but you have to buy a plane ticket and you must come and pick them up at the airport.

First person to post here wanting these children wins and you come collect them or pay for their fare

Offline 'andersom'

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Re: Kids need a new loving good home
« Reply #1 on: April 01, 2017, 01:48:51 AM »
I was wondering if you would turn up today.
« Last Edit: April 01, 2017, 01:52:56 AM by 'andersom' »
I can do upside down chocolate moo things!

Offline Queen Victoria

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Re: Kids need a new loving good home
« Reply #2 on: April 01, 2017, 03:34:02 PM »
And a Happy April 1 to you.  If you DO manage to unload your children, could I throw in The Princess Royal as a freebee?
A good monarch is a treasure. A good politician is an oxymoron.

My brain is both uninhibited and uninhabited.

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Offline Gopher Gary

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Re: Kids need a new loving good home
« Reply #3 on: April 01, 2017, 03:47:15 PM »
OMG NATALIA'S BACK!! :GA:
:gopher:

Offline odeon

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Re: Kids need a new loving good home
« Reply #4 on: April 02, 2017, 11:08:03 AM »
:M

"Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former."

- Albert Einstein

Offline Icequeen

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Re: Kids need a new loving good home
« Reply #5 on: April 02, 2017, 11:57:57 AM »
I'd keep the cat. :M

Welcome back Natalia!

My son just hit 18, I'd like to say it gets easier...but lying is bad. ;)

Offline 'andersom'

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Re: Kids need a new loving good home
« Reply #6 on: April 02, 2017, 12:03:01 PM »
I'd keep the cat. :M

Welcome back Natalia!

My son just hit 18, I'd like to say it gets easier...but lying is bad. ;)

Hahaha.

Oldest left the house. Yes, it gets easier. For her too.

Love seeing her for a few hours. Feeling is mutual. After that, we both are happy living our own routines again too.
I can do upside down chocolate moo things!

Offline Lestat

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Re: Kids need a new loving good home
« Reply #7 on: April 02, 2017, 12:18:15 PM »
WB Kit. Hope this is an april fools.
Beyond the pale. Way, way beyond the pale.

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Offline 'andersom'

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Re: Kids need a new loving good home
« Reply #8 on: April 02, 2017, 12:21:55 PM »
WB Kit. Hope this is an april fools.

Kit is the april fools specialist on I2.
I can do upside down chocolate moo things!

Offline Lestat

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Re: Kids need a new loving good home
« Reply #9 on: April 02, 2017, 12:40:05 PM »
Well I'm autie. Go figure. Someone had to specify one way or the other.
Beyond the pale. Way, way beyond the pale.

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Offline 'andersom'

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Re: Kids need a new loving good home
« Reply #10 on: April 02, 2017, 01:00:11 PM »
Well I'm autie. Go figure. Someone had to specify one way or the other.

She tries to place a prank almost every year. Had not seen her for a while. Realised it was the first of April and wondered if Natalia would post. Few hours later she did.

She had some really convincing pranks in the past.
I can do upside down chocolate moo things!

Offline Jack

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Re: Kids need a new loving good home
« Reply #11 on: April 02, 2017, 07:41:43 PM »
Isn't April 1st also Intensity Squared's birthday?

Offline Walkie

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Re: Kids need a new loving good home
« Reply #12 on: April 02, 2017, 07:54:00 PM »
Isn't April 1st also Intensity Squared's birthday?
Whaaat? you mean this forum is a spoof? and 11 years later we're still hanging out here, not getting the joke
heck. what a load of spazzes.

Offline odeon

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Re: Kids need a new loving good home
« Reply #13 on: April 03, 2017, 01:55:04 PM »
Isn't April 1st also Intensity Squared's birthday?

Yes, we are a joke. :zoinks:
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Offline Jack

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Re: Kids need a new loving good home
« Reply #14 on: April 03, 2017, 03:59:25 PM »
That's a given. :M