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Author Topic: Guilt.  (Read 2006 times)

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Offline 'andersom'

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Guilt.
« on: June 04, 2015, 01:22:47 PM »
Lately I'm intrigued by the concept of guilt. Started with a young friend of mine, feeling guilty after every biscuit she eats, after every plate of healthy food that is a bit too full for her waistline (in her mind). And I began observing the use of guilt. It seems to be everywhere, in all kinds of situations where it does not make any sense to me.

Yes, I get guilt as a concept. When you do something wrong you are guilty, and with an accurate legal system, you may be found guilty too.
But I do not get why enjoying food or drink, when there is no harm afterwards (like drunk driving) leads to sensations of guilt. Sensations big enough to get in a massive mental crisis for some.

Since that young friend of mine with her massive food issues, I look different at slimming ads. They work on that sense of guilt. They tell that their shakes taste fantastic, and that you do not have to miss out anything joyful in life, where all I ever heard is that the shakes are a chore to swallow. So, they are a punishment, a punishment wanted to treat the guilt.

Or am I completely getting it wrong here?

The guilt stuff does not only happen with weight and food. It seems to be everywhere. And marketing works well around it.

The friend of mine was flabbergasted that my daughters and I do not feel guilty after eating, never. Unless we eat something really nice so inattentively that we completely missed enjoying it. But even that is no guilt, just a shame.
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Offline odeon

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Re: Guilt.
« Reply #1 on: June 04, 2015, 01:38:03 PM »
Guilt is an important tool in marketing, yes. Think of the gyms, the diets, the various health food chains. And not to mention those perfect, a little too thin models.

People are bound to feel guilty, and the fact is being used to induce more guilt.

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Re: Guilt.
« Reply #2 on: June 04, 2015, 01:43:56 PM »
Your correct in that it's an important marketing tool but in my opinion it's a slimy take the easy way out one
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Offline odeon

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Re: Guilt.
« Reply #3 on: June 04, 2015, 01:45:13 PM »
One reason is because it is easy, another that it is cheap.
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Offline 'andersom'

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Re: Guilt.
« Reply #4 on: June 04, 2015, 01:53:18 PM »
There is something extra weird going on. When people feel legally or religiously guilty, they do not gloat about it.
The other guilt, there is gloating, revelling, wallowing, non stop talking about their sins.

There is joy in the feeling guilty. And there is connection with "fellow sinners" in that joy.
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Offline 'andersom'

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Re: Guilt.
« Reply #5 on: June 04, 2015, 02:43:56 PM »
There is something extra weird going on. When people feel legally or religiously guilty, they do not gloat about it.
The other guilt, there is gloating, revelling, wallowing, non stop talking about their sins.

There is joy in the feeling guilty. And there is connection with "fellow sinners" in that joy.

That almost sounds like a guilty pleasure. But there is also anguish, redeeming, sometimes despair and brutal atonement.
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Offline Jack

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Re: Guilt.
« Reply #6 on: June 04, 2015, 04:24:47 PM »
Interesting topic. Personally have trouble differentiating between the physical sensations of anxiety and guilt; they both *feel* the same so it's often a logical process to understand what is the actual emotion accompanying those physical manifestations. Wondering if the word guilt might even be used wrong here. Thinking upset over failure in a personal self-control would probably be better emotionally classified as weakness or angst rather than guilt. Maybe people are saying they feel guilty without taking the time to think about what they're actually feeling.

Offline Jack

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Re: Guilt.
« Reply #7 on: June 05, 2015, 05:05:52 AM »
Was also thinking some people might confuse regret and guilt as always going hand in hand or meaning the same thing.

Offline Al Swearegen

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Re: Guilt.
« Reply #8 on: June 05, 2015, 05:07:52 AM »
Emotions are weird.  ???
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Offline 'andersom'

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Re: Guilt.
« Reply #9 on: June 05, 2015, 05:44:50 AM »
Interesting topic. Personally have trouble differentiating between the physical sensations of anxiety and guilt; they both *feel* the same so it's often a logical process to understand what is the actual emotion accompanying those physical manifestations. Wondering if the word guilt might even be used wrong here. Thinking upset over failure in a personal self-control would probably be better emotionally classified as weakness or angst rather than guilt. Maybe people are saying they feel guilty without taking the time to think about what they're actually feeling.

Guilt and anxiety have an overlap, I am sure of that. But in cases of (mainly women) expressing guilt, it has to do with how they are responsible for what has been done. So the guilt factor is part of it.

Lunch time at work is amazing observation time, half of the (mainly) women is wallowing in guilt and worries, the other half is either laughing their arse off, or watching baffled, utterly amazed.

It is amusing most of the time, but when it gets to a massive crisis, it is not that funny.

Other observation, the having of this sense of guilt is not following the lines of spazz or non spazz people.

Know someone with the weirdest guilt thoughts. She's highly religious, and thinks after death everything will be awesome. She is so into forgiving that she thinks legal guilt should be forgiven almost always too. But, when she eats too much, her sensation of guilt gets completely over the top. There is no forgiving, there is no leniency, there should be punishment.
She also does have big anxiety and control issues. The overlap is there, but in case of guilt, she does react different  than in the other cases. 
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Offline 'andersom'

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Re: Guilt.
« Reply #10 on: June 05, 2015, 05:49:15 AM »
Emotions are weird.  ???

True that.

I know I have them, often delayed. But they do not work for me, in ways of communication or understanding. Will not deny them. But that is about it.

I try to understand now and then what happens in others though. It is highly intriguing. Do think lots of people communicate with emotions. That that is a main part of the non-verbal communicating. I know people find my non emotional reacting awkward and for them it creates a distance. Funny, at work, one colleague gets told the same things. So now and then we try to understand communication together. Finding out where we failed to see the unsaid. With two highly emotional communicating colleagues, we have plenty of mutual faux-pas to discuss.  :laugh:
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Offline El

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Re: Guilt.
« Reply #11 on: June 05, 2015, 05:53:48 AM »
Lately I'm intrigued by the concept of guilt. Started with a young friend of mine, feeling guilty after every biscuit she eats, after every plate of healthy food that is a bit too full for her waistline (in her mind). And I began observing the use of guilt. It seems to be everywhere, in all kinds of situations where it does not make any sense to me.

Yes, I get guilt as a concept. When you do something wrong you are guilty, and with an accurate legal system, you may be found guilty too.
But I do not get why enjoying food or drink, when there is no harm afterwards (like drunk driving) leads to sensations of guilt. Sensations big enough to get in a massive mental crisis for some.

Since that young friend of mine with her massive food issues, I look different at slimming ads. They work on that sense of guilt. They tell that their shakes taste fantastic, and that you do not have to miss out anything joyful in life, where all I ever heard is that the shakes are a chore to swallow. So, they are a punishment, a punishment wanted to treat the guilt.

Or am I completely getting it wrong here?

The guilt stuff does not only happen with weight and food. It seems to be everywhere. And marketing works well around it.

The friend of mine was flabbergasted that my daughters and I do not feel guilty after eating, never. Unless we eat something really nice so inattentively that we completely missed enjoying it. But even that is no guilt, just a shame.
There's a lot of money to made made off of making women all fucked up about food and how they look.
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Offline 'andersom'

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Re: Guilt.
« Reply #12 on: June 05, 2015, 06:18:36 AM »
Lately I'm intrigued by the concept of guilt. Started with a young friend of mine, feeling guilty after every biscuit she eats, after every plate of healthy food that is a bit too full for her waistline (in her mind). And I began observing the use of guilt. It seems to be everywhere, in all kinds of situations where it does not make any sense to me.

Yes, I get guilt as a concept. When you do something wrong you are guilty, and with an accurate legal system, you may be found guilty too.
But I do not get why enjoying food or drink, when there is no harm afterwards (like drunk driving) leads to sensations of guilt. Sensations big enough to get in a massive mental crisis for some.

Since that young friend of mine with her massive food issues, I look different at slimming ads. They work on that sense of guilt. They tell that their shakes taste fantastic, and that you do not have to miss out anything joyful in life, where all I ever heard is that the shakes are a chore to swallow. So, they are a punishment, a punishment wanted to treat the guilt.

Or am I completely getting it wrong here?

The guilt stuff does not only happen with weight and food. It seems to be everywhere. And marketing works well around it.

The friend of mine was flabbergasted that my daughters and I do not feel guilty after eating, never. Unless we eat something really nice so inattentively that we completely missed enjoying it. But even that is no guilt, just a shame.
There's a lot of money to made made off of making women all fucked up about food and how they look.

Lot of money is being made by working on anxiety and guilt around health too.

A while ago there was some research showing that a lot of types of cancer happen without a clear physical reason. That research was not met with applause. Apparently lots of people can not cope with the fact that sometimes shit just happens. Someone has to be guilty, there needs to be someone to blame. Tragedy is not an option.
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Offline Icequeen

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Re: Guilt.
« Reply #13 on: June 05, 2015, 12:37:18 PM »
Guilt is a powerful tool for controlling people.

Most religions use guilt...Catholics are born feeling guilty. :zoinks:
Guilt is used as a marketing tool, they use guilt in school, at work, and at the doctors office...and how many parents I see that are pros at giving guilt trips to their kids.

Never understood it, and never will.

"I don't feel guilt. Whatever I wish to do, I do."
~Jeanne Moreau~




Offline Jack

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Re: Guilt.
« Reply #14 on: June 05, 2015, 01:46:59 PM »
Guilt and anxiety have an overlap, I am sure of that.
Agreed surely they do, but my problem is more based in the bodily physical response to those emotions. They're exactly the same for me so sometimes find myself wondering why feeling guilty, then realizing it's simply angst or maybe too much coffee.
Quote
half of the (mainly) women is wallowing in guilt and worries
Some people do seem to find a negative mindset to be the most comfortable for them, even a default, though not necessarily always guilt or worry; it could be anything for negative minded people. Have never really thought of it as a female thing.
 
Quote
But in cases of (mainly women) expressing guilt, it has to do with how they are responsible for what has been done. So the guilt factor is part of it.
Reminding me of this:
They apologise for all the things they did not do, beforehand.

(The sorry I exist, apology)
The sorry. It's the curse of the woman, the sorry. Women apologize for the world.
Now that I do think of as a female thing, and thanks to Semicolon also a Canadian thing. :laugh: