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Author Topic: I call out the whole board  (Read 9642 times)

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I call out the whole board
« on: October 20, 2013, 10:48:51 AM »
To settle the issue, of who has a longer penis, once and for all. Until sufficient time has passed to warrant changes in length.

PENIS SIZE COMPARISON
Friday evening, November 1st this year.

Rules:
  • a solid rule or ruler must be used and pushed in/down as far as possible (to rule out making excuses for body fat and measuring inaccuracy)
  • camera shot must be 90° to ruler from top
  • penis must be pushed below and on to the ruler
  • ruler shall not be bent
  • hand written sticky note with "INTENSITY**2" must be sticked on the middle of the ruler (if your penis is too small for that, stick it at the beginning or better don't participate in the contest)
  • no vacuum pumps or other mechanical or chemical aides allowed

No excuses. Winner wins on the following Sunday 00:01 GMT.


UPDATE:
Because most members don't seem to be man enough to show their genitals in public, the pictures can be uploaded here and will be password protected:

http://intensity-squared.atspace.cc

The password to the script as well as to the webhosting will be given to a trustworthy woman on this board, who can then select other trustworthy women to be included in the rating. The rating can be done easily with the password on the site.

The script is free of security holes or flaws or hax that would make the images accessible and it can be viewed and reviewed here by anyone.

If you are not on the list, it is reasonable to assume that someone on that list defeated you already and you saved yourself the trouble of uploading. Anyone could upload fakes with their own (tiny) penis, so only the longest penis size's value is absolutely certain.

WARNING! Do not upload before November 1st.
« Last Edit: October 23, 2013, 04:49:56 AM by DFGL »
t͕̬̱̣̻he̘̳͍̯͇ͥ̾ ͇̉̋ĥ̖ͣi̘͕̙v͉̆̉e̠͓̐̔ ͕͍̺̝̑͛ͪṃ̯̳͙͗́i̓͑͌̿ͥ̐n̯͉̥̘͚͎̹ͮ͑̏ͤd̙̗̫̓ ̟̝̼͌̉́͑rͦ̋͗̃̐͛e̪̅p͂r̯̙̙̿e̳̟͔͔̼͍̪̅ͪͬ̔͛́̚s̰͈̭̞̭̥̃̐ͤ̽ͤĕ͕̹̙͒͆͒̍n͈̠̣ͪ̇ͩ͆ͩͅṯ͍̟͕̮͆̑͛̐͛ị̭̟̮̍̆ͥ̂̈́̅n̯͙̯̝̗͑͐̓g̻̠͊̂́ͤ ̂̄̒͌ͮ̐́̄̈̿̈ͫp̦̜͇̝̈͌̈ͭ̐̌s̜̼̪̪͍̩y̑ͪ̏ĉ̤͉̆h̹̫͖̱͙͉͙ȍ͐̅t͚̝ị̺̳ͮͬͬ̀ͅc͖̭͖̣̱͂͊̆ ̰̤̞̬̠̳̇ć̻̱͙͎̘̲̰hȃ̩͔̿̎͂̂̚o̦̱̩ś̹̗̥̤̝ͅ,̫͚̥͎͚͇͓͗ͬͪ͆ ͥ̃̌̀̉̈́h̋̾͛͗e̜ ͚̥̞̫̠ͫͮ͛̿c̈o͈͖͋̔͂̀ͬm̠̩̣ͧe̮ͯͪs̳̞̘͇͎̳͉̈́̃͂ ̞̎ͯh̖͚́̈̑̓̋ë̟̻̼̩́ͧͩ̎͛ ̯̲̖͕̖̘͉c͕o̻̝̰͓̙ͯ͋̃̊̈́͂̏m̬̩̃e̯͆̆͒ͩs̲ ̜͔̭͎s̼̟̰͉͈̅̒͂̎̿ͤo͈͖͋̔͂̀ͬo͈͖͋̔͂̀ͬn͈̠̣ͪ̇ͩ͆ͩͅ

Offline Semicolon

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Re: I call out the whole board
« Reply #1 on: October 20, 2013, 10:54:03 AM »
What contest? The answer is "probably not you".

We have some well-endowed members, and I'm thinking of one in particular who isn't here right now. We'll see if he shows up. ;)

If you're going to call us out, why not list some grievances instead of creating a contest?
I2 has a smiley for everything. Even a hamster wheel. :hamsterwheel:

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Jesus died on the cross to show us that BDSM is a legitimate form of love.
There is only one truth and it is that people do have penises of different sizes and one of them is the longest.

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Re: I call out the whole board
« Reply #2 on: October 20, 2013, 10:57:54 AM »
Because this is the lowest common denominator.
t͕̬̱̣̻he̘̳͍̯͇ͥ̾ ͇̉̋ĥ̖ͣi̘͕̙v͉̆̉e̠͓̐̔ ͕͍̺̝̑͛ͪṃ̯̳͙͗́i̓͑͌̿ͥ̐n̯͉̥̘͚͎̹ͮ͑̏ͤd̙̗̫̓ ̟̝̼͌̉́͑rͦ̋͗̃̐͛e̪̅p͂r̯̙̙̿e̳̟͔͔̼͍̪̅ͪͬ̔͛́̚s̰͈̭̞̭̥̃̐ͤ̽ͤĕ͕̹̙͒͆͒̍n͈̠̣ͪ̇ͩ͆ͩͅṯ͍̟͕̮͆̑͛̐͛ị̭̟̮̍̆ͥ̂̈́̅n̯͙̯̝̗͑͐̓g̻̠͊̂́ͤ ̂̄̒͌ͮ̐́̄̈̿̈ͫp̦̜͇̝̈͌̈ͭ̐̌s̜̼̪̪͍̩y̑ͪ̏ĉ̤͉̆h̹̫͖̱͙͉͙ȍ͐̅t͚̝ị̺̳ͮͬͬ̀ͅc͖̭͖̣̱͂͊̆ ̰̤̞̬̠̳̇ć̻̱͙͎̘̲̰hȃ̩͔̿̎͂̂̚o̦̱̩ś̹̗̥̤̝ͅ,̫͚̥͎͚͇͓͗ͬͪ͆ ͥ̃̌̀̉̈́h̋̾͛͗e̜ ͚̥̞̫̠ͫͮ͛̿c̈o͈͖͋̔͂̀ͬm̠̩̣ͧe̮ͯͪs̳̞̘͇͎̳͉̈́̃͂ ̞̎ͯh̖͚́̈̑̓̋ë̟̻̼̩́ͧͩ̎͛ ̯̲̖͕̖̘͉c͕o̻̝̰͓̙ͯ͋̃̊̈́͂̏m̬̩̃e̯͆̆͒ͩs̲ ̜͔̭͎s̼̟̰͉͈̅̒͂̎̿ͤo͈͖͋̔͂̀ͬo͈͖͋̔͂̀ͬn͈̠̣ͪ̇ͩ͆ͩͅ

Offline Gopher Gary

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Re: I call out the whole board
« Reply #3 on: October 20, 2013, 11:05:22 AM »
 :lol1:
:gopher:

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Re: I call out the whole board
« Reply #4 on: October 20, 2013, 12:51:56 PM »
I will give you a photoshopped preview:

« Last Edit: October 20, 2013, 12:53:56 PM by DFGL »
t͕̬̱̣̻he̘̳͍̯͇ͥ̾ ͇̉̋ĥ̖ͣi̘͕̙v͉̆̉e̠͓̐̔ ͕͍̺̝̑͛ͪṃ̯̳͙͗́i̓͑͌̿ͥ̐n̯͉̥̘͚͎̹ͮ͑̏ͤd̙̗̫̓ ̟̝̼͌̉́͑rͦ̋͗̃̐͛e̪̅p͂r̯̙̙̿e̳̟͔͔̼͍̪̅ͪͬ̔͛́̚s̰͈̭̞̭̥̃̐ͤ̽ͤĕ͕̹̙͒͆͒̍n͈̠̣ͪ̇ͩ͆ͩͅṯ͍̟͕̮͆̑͛̐͛ị̭̟̮̍̆ͥ̂̈́̅n̯͙̯̝̗͑͐̓g̻̠͊̂́ͤ ̂̄̒͌ͮ̐́̄̈̿̈ͫp̦̜͇̝̈͌̈ͭ̐̌s̜̼̪̪͍̩y̑ͪ̏ĉ̤͉̆h̹̫͖̱͙͉͙ȍ͐̅t͚̝ị̺̳ͮͬͬ̀ͅc͖̭͖̣̱͂͊̆ ̰̤̞̬̠̳̇ć̻̱͙͎̘̲̰hȃ̩͔̿̎͂̂̚o̦̱̩ś̹̗̥̤̝ͅ,̫͚̥͎͚͇͓͗ͬͪ͆ ͥ̃̌̀̉̈́h̋̾͛͗e̜ ͚̥̞̫̠ͫͮ͛̿c̈o͈͖͋̔͂̀ͬm̠̩̣ͧe̮ͯͪs̳̞̘͇͎̳͉̈́̃͂ ̞̎ͯh̖͚́̈̑̓̋ë̟̻̼̩́ͧͩ̎͛ ̯̲̖͕̖̘͉c͕o̻̝̰͓̙ͯ͋̃̊̈́͂̏m̬̩̃e̯͆̆͒ͩs̲ ̜͔̭͎s̼̟̰͉͈̅̒͂̎̿ͤo͈͖͋̔͂̀ͬo͈͖͋̔͂̀ͬn͈̠̣ͪ̇ͩ͆ͩͅ

Offline Gopher Gary

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Re: I call out the whole board
« Reply #5 on: October 20, 2013, 01:04:53 PM »
Yours is bigger than mine.  :thumbup:
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Offline cynara

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Re: I call out the whole board
« Reply #6 on: October 20, 2013, 01:10:21 PM »
Yours is bigger than mine.  :thumbup:

Really?
Did you do the opposite to DFGL and photoshop it smaller?   :o
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Re: I call out the whole board
« Reply #7 on: October 20, 2013, 01:49:54 PM »
I guess since it is a joke picture, it was a joke answer. If you can't see that it is a joke picture: the penis would be 40cm (~16 inch) long, flaccid. I don't know if that's a world record.
t͕̬̱̣̻he̘̳͍̯͇ͥ̾ ͇̉̋ĥ̖ͣi̘͕̙v͉̆̉e̠͓̐̔ ͕͍̺̝̑͛ͪṃ̯̳͙͗́i̓͑͌̿ͥ̐n̯͉̥̘͚͎̹ͮ͑̏ͤd̙̗̫̓ ̟̝̼͌̉́͑rͦ̋͗̃̐͛e̪̅p͂r̯̙̙̿e̳̟͔͔̼͍̪̅ͪͬ̔͛́̚s̰͈̭̞̭̥̃̐ͤ̽ͤĕ͕̹̙͒͆͒̍n͈̠̣ͪ̇ͩ͆ͩͅṯ͍̟͕̮͆̑͛̐͛ị̭̟̮̍̆ͥ̂̈́̅n̯͙̯̝̗͑͐̓g̻̠͊̂́ͤ ̂̄̒͌ͮ̐́̄̈̿̈ͫp̦̜͇̝̈͌̈ͭ̐̌s̜̼̪̪͍̩y̑ͪ̏ĉ̤͉̆h̹̫͖̱͙͉͙ȍ͐̅t͚̝ị̺̳ͮͬͬ̀ͅc͖̭͖̣̱͂͊̆ ̰̤̞̬̠̳̇ć̻̱͙͎̘̲̰hȃ̩͔̿̎͂̂̚o̦̱̩ś̹̗̥̤̝ͅ,̫͚̥͎͚͇͓͗ͬͪ͆ ͥ̃̌̀̉̈́h̋̾͛͗e̜ ͚̥̞̫̠ͫͮ͛̿c̈o͈͖͋̔͂̀ͬm̠̩̣ͧe̮ͯͪs̳̞̘͇͎̳͉̈́̃͂ ̞̎ͯh̖͚́̈̑̓̋ë̟̻̼̩́ͧͩ̎͛ ̯̲̖͕̖̘͉c͕o̻̝̰͓̙ͯ͋̃̊̈́͂̏m̬̩̃e̯͆̆͒ͩs̲ ̜͔̭͎s̼̟̰͉͈̅̒͂̎̿ͤo͈͖͋̔͂̀ͬo͈͖͋̔͂̀ͬn͈̠̣ͪ̇ͩ͆ͩͅ

Offline Jack

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Re: I call out the whole board
« Reply #8 on: October 20, 2013, 01:56:56 PM »
Guessing people get the joke.

Offline Semicolon

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Re: I call out the whole board
« Reply #9 on: October 20, 2013, 02:13:10 PM »
Your toilet paper dispenser is empty. :tp:
I2 has a smiley for everything. Even a hamster wheel. :hamsterwheel:

Quote from: iamnotaparakeet
Jesus died on the cross to show us that BDSM is a legitimate form of love.
There is only one truth and it is that people do have penises of different sizes and one of them is the longest.

Offline odeon

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Re: I call out the whole board
« Reply #10 on: October 20, 2013, 02:24:26 PM »
"Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former."

- Albert Einstein

Offline Al Swearegen

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Re: I call out the whole board
« Reply #11 on: October 20, 2013, 03:18:37 PM »


I dunno but I am guessing it would result in an explosion.
I2 today is not i2 of yesteryear. It is a knitting circle. Those that participate be they nice or asshats know their place and the price to be there. Odeon is the overlord

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Think it is I2 of old? Even Odeon is not so delusional as to think otherwise. He may on occasionally pretend otherwise but his base is that knitting circle.

Censoring/banning/restricting/moderating myself, Calanadale & Scrapheap were all not his finest moments.

How to apologise to Scrap

Offline odeon

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Re: I call out the whole board
« Reply #12 on: October 20, 2013, 03:21:55 PM »
All things considered, an explosion might be a good thing.

 :fos:
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Offline Al Swearegen

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Re: I call out the whole board
« Reply #13 on: October 20, 2013, 03:26:27 PM »
Does he actually know what a callout is?
I2 today is not i2 of yesteryear. It is a knitting circle. Those that participate be they nice or asshats know their place and the price to be there. Odeon is the overlord

.Benevolent if you toe the line.

Think it is I2 of old? Even Odeon is not so delusional as to think otherwise. He may on occasionally pretend otherwise but his base is that knitting circle.

Censoring/banning/restricting/moderating myself, Calanadale & Scrapheap were all not his finest moments.

How to apologise to Scrap

Offline ZEGH8578

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Re: I call out the whole board
« Reply #14 on: October 20, 2013, 03:34:07 PM »


I dunno but I am guessing it would result in an explosion.

Obviously the toilet paper roll would be a tube to propell a projectile - maybe a chewing gum! He would then melt the steel holder thingy there, extract the carbon from it, and use that along with some handy saltpeter and sulphur to make black powder, and yes - explode his way out of there!
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