Author Topic: "I have two adult children living at home"  (Read 2621 times)

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Offline bodie

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Re: "I have two adult children living at home"
« Reply #15 on: August 08, 2012, 03:43:35 PM »
HOA?

Home Owners Association.  The "governing body" for the neighborhood.

Ooooh, sounds very la de da
blah blah blah

midlifeaspie

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Re: "I have two adult children living at home"
« Reply #16 on: August 08, 2012, 04:20:26 PM »
HOA?

Home Owners Association.  The "governing body" for the neighborhood.

Ooooh, sounds very la de da

It organizes block parties and makes sure everyone mows their lawn.  Not terribly "posh" ;)

Offline Bastet

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Re: "I have two adult children living at home"
« Reply #17 on: August 08, 2012, 04:28:58 PM »
Yes you did well. It was what he wanted to hear. If he has not been able to provide them with the life skills they need to get out and enabled them to stay at home then it is not their Aspergers keeping them back.

My dad calls my mom an 'enabler' I call her a disabler.  I have asked her to tread me like a tennant and not like a daughter from now on. I am saving up to move out if our arrangement goes sour. I have a lot more money living with her so I have to pay down bills and save money. My mom is only trying to help me, but she makes a lot of things harder.
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Offline MissKitty

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Re: "I have two adult children living at home"
« Reply #18 on: August 08, 2012, 07:03:35 PM »
But I don't think just because someone with aspergers is living at home it means their parents are enabling them. I look at my son's cognitive issue and parts of his brain function off the charts, other parts, literally, function at 1%. When you have such a huge disparity, it means some things you can overcome but there's a chance that there's some things you can't.  :dunno:
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Re: "I have two adult children living at home"
« Reply #19 on: August 08, 2012, 07:18:46 PM »
My mother from the get go pretty much had a no-BS attitude to rearing me. She took me out and helped me get involved with other kids, along with extensive speech therapy etc. She was not trying to "cure" me either, just trying to get myself as ready as possible for life in general. Still was difficult as shit though, for me and for her. Worth it though, now in college and hoping to keep on going for at least a Master's degree. I'm even thinking of becoming a teacher/lecturer. I have friends, a social life and even managed to maintain a relationship. People literally don't notice I have any problems to the point that they think I'm lying (even though I still have issues, but they're easily masked). I pretty much take that as a compliment nowadays. If I tell people I have AS and they ACTUALLY believe me, then they instantly turn patronising and treat me like I am some mongoloid, even though I'm probably more smarter and knowledgeable than them.

Then you get parents who do nothing for their kids, accept there's "something wrong" with them and basically say "I can't do much about it, they're always going to be like that". Enabling basically. These kids turn into "adult children" or even worse, retarded spastics like Spookane. I would hate to be the child of these kind of people.
« Last Edit: August 08, 2012, 07:23:23 PM by schleed »

Offline Queen Victoria

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Re: "I have two adult children living at home"
« Reply #20 on: August 08, 2012, 08:40:14 PM »
Since so many comorbids go along with ASD, maybe it's the better option? 
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Frolic_Fun

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Re: "I have two adult children living at home"
« Reply #21 on: August 08, 2012, 09:01:30 PM »
To enable?

Sure, if you want your ASD kids to think they're special, not capable of much and not have any life prospects.

Offline Icequeen

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Re: "I have two adult children living at home"
« Reply #22 on: August 08, 2012, 09:29:15 PM »
I can't say much I didn't leave home until I was almost 30. :LOL:

My parents were very reclusive. I never had a problem getting a job, my problem was keeping them or getting promoted.

Nobody likes a smart ass, and I have the same inherited trait my father had of pissing people off and not knowing when to keep my mouth shut :zoinks:...and I'm normally not aware of what the hell I said that set them off until I rehash it 20 or more times in my head 4 hours later.

My leaving home was also delayed by about 5 years when my father's health started to take a nose dive.

I think you should definately run for the HOA presidency though. I would. >:D

Offline Jesse

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Re: "I have two adult children living at home"
« Reply #23 on: August 08, 2012, 09:33:53 PM »
HOA?
Home Owners Association.  The "governing body" for the neighborhood.
Ooooh, sounds very la de da
It isnt. When I lived in california our apartment complex had a HOA. it was actually satan beelzibub himself, Lets see,
Things they complained about, DO not hang anything on your balquoney. No umbrellas on balquoney, we had to get permission to hang out fucking direct tv dish from the railing on the balquoney, and that took goddamn near a month to get approved.

That was the outside. Inside, the neighbor underneath us complained about us running our dishwasher too much so there was that whole fucking fiasco. Overall HOA's are the niggest pain in the fucking ass ever. Also, everyone has to pay fucking due's everymonth wheather they like it or not, to be in the goddamn thing!

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Offline renaeden

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Re: "I have two adult children living at home"
« Reply #24 on: August 08, 2012, 09:47:51 PM »
Never seen balcony spelt like that before.

I am 35 and live with my parents. I am waiting for a place through HomesWest or Access Housing though, whichever comes first. It is driving me crazy waiting, I can't wait to live alone again.
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Offline Callaway

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Re: "I have two adult children living at home"
« Reply #25 on: August 08, 2012, 10:06:22 PM »
But I don't think just because someone with aspergers is living at home it means their parents are enabling them. I look at my son's cognitive issue and parts of his brain function off the charts, other parts, literally, function at 1%. When you have such a huge disparity, it means some things you can overcome but there's a chance that there's some things you can't.  :dunno:

That's my daughter too.  I try to teach her everything I can but some things are still very difficult for her.  At this point, it looks like she will still be living at home for awhile.

Offline Phallacy

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Re: "I have two adult children living at home"
« Reply #26 on: August 09, 2012, 12:47:18 AM »
See, you people had parents who gave a fuck and tried to help you out the best they could. Not every autistic is fortunate enough to have that. Well, suppose it could be worse. Like begin sexually molested or even murdered. Or being born in some third-world country.

Offline Al Swearegen

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Re: "I have two adult children living at home"
« Reply #27 on: August 09, 2012, 03:31:15 AM »
I say work with what you have.
If there is a co-morbid that comes with AS that is disabling to the point of a child not able to move out of home...whatever that co-morbid is then we are not saying "My child can not but live at home BECAUSE they have AS" are we?
It would be like saying my child can not go to work bacause they have one leg shorter than the other and walking is difficult, as is attending job interviews. It may well be. But if we then found they had severe anxiety disorder and were severely epilesptic then it is probably worth saying that the REASON is not the shorter leg.
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How to apologise to Scrap

Offline bodie

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Re: "I have two adult children living at home"
« Reply #28 on: August 09, 2012, 03:40:06 AM »
I just made a really long and profound reply in this thread.  Then i hit the preview button and i got the log in page :grrr:

When i logged in my reply was gone and i was starting a new topic  ???

I tried to go back but my reply was gone. grrr
blah blah blah

Offline Al Swearegen

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Re: "I have two adult children living at home"
« Reply #29 on: August 09, 2012, 03:51:37 AM »
I just made a really long and profound reply in this thread.  Then i hit the preview button and i got the log in page :grrr:

When i logged in my reply was gone and i was starting a new topic  ???

I tried to go back but my reply was gone. grrr

Genuinely sorry i missed it
I2 today is not i2 of yesteryear. It is a knitting circle. Those that participate be they nice or asshats know their place and the price to be there. Odeon is the overlord

.Benevolent if you toe the line.

Think it is I2 of old? Even Odeon is not so delusional as to think otherwise. He may on occasionally pretend otherwise but his base is that knitting circle.

Censoring/banning/restricting/moderating myself, Calanadale & Scrapheap were all not his finest moments.

How to apologise to Scrap