I wonder if it's depression or just frustration.
With me, frustration with things I cannot or are unable to change...can lead to the other. 
Is that a subtle reminder to recite the Serenity Prayer?
That was found on a tiny piece of paper my grandmother had with her.
She did manage to make most out of life, despite life itself.
It has made a difference in my life.
(Although I'm not an alcoholic, I attend AA meetings twice a week. My addictions are food, spending money and hoarding. When I am doing too well in managing those things, I want to drink. Sort of an alcoholic in training. I'm determined not to add something else to the mix.) I definitely feel a lot less of the martyr, feel more calm and can handle situations with a lot less drama when I use the prayer.
I'm taking pauses to check. Kind of mini-breaks, before I react, thinking of other possible explanations. Works for me. Not when I am really tired though, or late at night. I now hope to be clearheaded enough to just avoid escalations at times like that.
My grandmother had a very sharp and witty tongue. And certainly had a nasty streak on her. I think that that is why she had the paper with her. She was a delightful woman.
I've found that I find it easier to throw things away that I hoarded for too long, since I work as a volunteer at the thrift shop. I'm happy with that unexpected bonus of my work.
