How are you feeling right now? (Pt 2)

[Kaelyrhn]

bewildered because of 'rapid drop' of mood from not having one of antidepressants.

Mood instability is the fun-est thing ever. 


(it's clearly not btw...)

[BruceCM]

Not got any of your pills, Kapkao? Hope you can sort those out ASAP, whatever happened to interfere with your taking them.

[Kaelyrhn]

I feel silly. My depression has bottom out and now I'm in a state of silliness.

Sometimes when this happens it feels like the depression has lifted, but it hasn't. It's kinda like a defence mechanism where when I become so depressed that I, and my life has come to a complete standstill and I wallow, my brain kinda snaps and I start doing something small that I enjoy. Like listening to music, and my mood gets silly.

[Zippo]

I feel silly. My depression has bottom out and now I'm in a state of silliness.

Sometimes when this happens it feels like the depression has lifted, but it hasn't. It's kinda like a defence mechanism where when I become so depressed that I, and my life has come to a complete standstill and I wallow, my brain kinda snaps and I start doing something small that I enjoy. Like listening to music, and my mood gets silly.

depression is a bitch.

[Kaelyrhn]

I feel silly. My depression has bottom out and now I'm in a state of silliness.

Sometimes when this happens it feels like the depression has lifted, but it hasn't. It's kinda like a defence mechanism where when I become so depressed that I, and my life has come to a complete standstill and I wallow, my brain kinda snaps and I start doing something small that I enjoy. Like listening to music, and my mood gets silly.

depression is a bitch.

Yes it is.

Bipolar is worse 

 

[BruceCM]

Well, hyper's fun, as long as you don't seem manic enough to get put in H for it..... Hope you feel better soon, though. Ceilidh!

[Kaelyrhn]

Well, hyper's fun, as long as you don't seem manic enough to get put in H for it..... Hope you feel better soon, though. Ceilidh!

I've never been in hospital for mania...Never experienced mania. Hypomania I have experienced and it can be really fun if you can keep impulsive urges under control. And I have trouble doing that when I'm not hypomanic.

I have been in hospital for bipolar depression though, and a suicide attempt following depression.


My psychiatrist has put me on lithium, and recently increased my dose. So...progress??

[BruceCM]

I'm pretty sure depression's the same, whether it's bipolar or not; sorry you got that deep in it. Not sure I've been really manic but hypo was enough to get me put in H & I was not a threat to anybody or anything, regardless of what anybody thinks. Hopefully, the meds will help with that & then it will be progress for you.

[Kaelyrhn]

I didn't mean to imply that 'bipolar depression' is different to depression, just that it's a specific experience of depression in contrast to the hypomania. Most of the time I'm depressed and it's usually tolerable. But the depression that comes after a high mood is absolutely crushing. And both times I've experienced depression following hypomania I've ended up in hospital.

[BruceCM]

Yeah, do your moods swing quite fast, then? Mine don't, usually; it was about 10 years ago I was in H for hypomania but they were happy to let me go home, with some pills, for depression. Yet it was after the severe depression that I felt most suicidal & very nearly did that....

[Kaelyrhn]

My first hypomania came and went in 4 days...Though at that point I was totally freaking out about my depressive cycles, and was insanely anxious.

The second one was by far more enjoyable but also only last 5 days.

The depression almost immediately follows hypomania, and it sticks around for a long time. It'll go away and then come back and then go away and then come back all in the space of a month.


So yeah...It's this instability that fucks me up most of the time.

[BruceCM]

Assuming you might find talking about it some help, Ceilidh? I was in H for my hypo 'episode' for about 2 months, on all sorts of pretty pills. Sounds like you're more inclined to depression than mania, though? Hopefully, as you do get older, you learn to identify such things quicker, work out your triggers & how to deal with them 'better', since I'm the last person to try advising in such an area. 

[Kaelyrhn]

I talk about myself sometimes too openly

Yeah depression is my bigger issue...Has been for years and years. The hypomania is a recent thing... I've only been in hospital though, collectively, for about 2 weeks.

["couldbecousin"]

Well, i'm not really expecting him to reply. he must be giving me the silent treatment.   

 He is very seldom here though, I think his internet access is sporadic. 

["couldbecousin"]

I feel silly. My depression has bottom out and now I'm in a state of silliness.

Sometimes when this happens it feels like the depression has lifted, but it hasn't. It's kinda like a defence mechanism where when I become so depressed that I, and my life has come to a complete standstill and I wallow, my brain kinda snaps and I start doing something small that I enjoy. Like listening to music, and my mood gets silly.

 I'm glad you can still enjoy things and get some relief.  Music is great that way.