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Author Topic: Just one quick bitch, part two  (Read 232160 times)

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Offline Fun With Matches

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Re: Just one quick bitch, part two
« Reply #12345 on: December 28, 2016, 07:51:42 AM »
Lots of good people died this year. :-\
Yeah. :(
Greg Lake, Leonard Cohen and David Bowie all spring instantly to mind. And I 'm sure I'll kick myself for the ones that don't spring to mind right now.

Alan Rickman, Prince, ... :(

Alan Rickman was an awesome actor. He had such a presence, he was wicked at playing the bad characters.
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Offline Fun With Matches

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Re: Just one quick bitch, part two
« Reply #12346 on: December 28, 2016, 02:06:35 PM »
Me: Since everyone can eat the cake except me, I can't eat any cake cos of my allergy to egg, may I eat some icing?
Nan: You'll spoil it for everyone else.

Thanks Nan. Fucking bitch.
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Offline Lestat

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Re: Just one quick bitch, part two
« Reply #12347 on: December 28, 2016, 03:13:55 PM »
Should have cut a slice, eaten off the icing, then slammed the rest of the cake in her face. Shove it right up the bitch's nose until she shits cake out of her eyesockets and urinates out her eyeballs from her..well...less said about where, the better really.
Beyond the pale. Way, way beyond the pale.

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Offline Fun With Matches

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Re: Just one quick bitch, part two
« Reply #12348 on: December 28, 2016, 03:29:13 PM »
Lol, gross but funny. Thanks!
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Offline Lestat

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Re: Just one quick bitch, part two
« Reply #12349 on: December 28, 2016, 03:37:22 PM »
And if its too late and the cake is now eaten by them, go piss on her toothbrush.

After being the recipient of a load of shit like that from someone, completely undeserved, basically their just being a fucking turd. I did that once or twice to them in the past. And on one occasion at least, urinated in their bottle of mouthwash. The mint flavour (of the mouthwash, obviously, whilst I have never attempted to taste it, I very much doubt my piss tastes like mint. I certainly do not, at any rate, ever recall using a polo as a cock ring.)

Although I did once do something to a girl which involved the digital application of mint oil to certain areas of her biology. Rather fun, as I recall. (it should be diluted, and spearmint is better and gentler than peppermint, if anyone is going to try it. I suppose mint candies could be inserted also. And searched for with one's tongue, for that matter)
« Last Edit: December 28, 2016, 03:39:48 PM by Lestat »
Beyond the pale. Way, way beyond the pale.

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Offline Fun With Matches

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Re: Just one quick bitch, part two
« Reply #12350 on: December 28, 2016, 04:09:16 PM »
Oh yes, she is definitely trying to wind me up.

I don't know if I could do what you do to an old person.
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Offline Jack

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Re: Just one quick bitch, part two
« Reply #12351 on: December 28, 2016, 08:05:28 PM »
Me: Since everyone can eat the cake except me, I can't eat any cake cos of my allergy to egg, may I eat some icing?
Nan: You'll spoil it for everyone else.

Thanks Nan. Fucking bitch.
What's the circumstances of this? Was it a finished cake and you wanted to scrape some icing off if it before it was served? Was it being served and you weren't given a slice to eat only the icing? Was she icing the cake and you wanted to have a spoonful of icing and she wouldn't let you have any?

Offline Fun With Matches

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Re: Just one quick bitch, part two
« Reply #12352 on: December 28, 2016, 08:19:33 PM »
Me: Since everyone can eat the cake except me, I can't eat any cake cos of my allergy to egg, may I eat some icing?
Nan: You'll spoil it for everyone else.

Thanks Nan. Fucking bitch.
What's the circumstances of this? Was it a finished cake and you wanted to scrape some icing off if it before it was served? Was it being served and you weren't given a slice to eat only the icing? Was she icing the cake and you wanted to have a spoonful of icing and she wouldn't let you have any?

It was a finished cake, and eaten about halfway through, shared between two people (mum and nan), quite a big cake, 5 inches high and a foot by a foot.
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Offline Jack

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Re: Just one quick bitch, part two
« Reply #12353 on: December 28, 2016, 08:42:52 PM »
Me: Since everyone can eat the cake except me, I can't eat any cake cos of my allergy to egg, may I eat some icing?
Nan: You'll spoil it for everyone else.

Thanks Nan. Fucking bitch.
What's the circumstances of this? Was it a finished cake and you wanted to scrape some icing off if it before it was served? Was it being served and you weren't given a slice to eat only the icing? Was she icing the cake and you wanted to have a spoonful of icing and she wouldn't let you have any?

It was a finished cake, and eaten about halfway through, shared between two people (mum and nan), quite a big cake, 5 inches high and a foot by a foot.
Thanks, then it makes sense to be irritated. It wouldn't spoil it for anyone else if you ate the icing from a slice of cake that's already been cut.

Offline Pyraxis

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Re: Just one quick bitch, part two
« Reply #12354 on: December 29, 2016, 12:28:06 AM »
Absolutely. In a similar situation myself and it would fucking piss me off.

Actually what I would do, since I can, is to bake my own allergy-safe cake and eat it myself in front of them.
You'll never self-actualize the subconscious canopy of stardust with that attitude.

Offline odeon

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Re: Just one quick bitch, part two
« Reply #12355 on: December 29, 2016, 01:05:34 AM »
^Agreed. Me, I'd ignore them and eat the icing.
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Offline Walkie

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Re: Just one quick bitch, part two
« Reply #12356 on: December 29, 2016, 03:03:27 AM »
I bought a packet of icing , just for me . Sorted :)

Offline "couldbecousin"

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Re: Just one quick bitch, part two
« Reply #12357 on: December 29, 2016, 07:06:34 AM »
I bought a packet of icing , just for me . Sorted :)

  If I were there, I'd make a batch of icing.  I know how to do that from my job.  8)
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Offline Fun With Matches

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Re: Just one quick bitch, part two
« Reply #12358 on: December 29, 2016, 08:22:17 AM »
Thanks everyone.

My mum reasoned with me that she would give me half the icing on her slice of cake later. I thought that was fairer.
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Offline odeon

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Re: Just one quick bitch, part two
« Reply #12359 on: December 29, 2016, 09:22:12 AM »
I spent too long at the keyboard in one go and now my shoulder hurts.
"Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I'm not sure about the former."

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