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Author Topic: American woman sends her son back to Russia  (Read 1973 times)

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Offline Parts

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Re: American woman sends her son back to Russia
« Reply #30 on: April 11, 2010, 02:54:32 PM »
whats fer dinner


Mac and Cheese and some other stuff
"Eat it up.  Wear it out.  Make it do or do without." 

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Offline Natalia Evans

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Re: American woman sends her son back to Russia
« Reply #31 on: April 11, 2010, 02:56:05 PM »
The mother was a coward. Couldn't face the child services there.  

Some people like to adopt foreign kids but it's more expensive than adopting kids in the USA. Adopting foster kids are the cheapest.

Offline punkdrew

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Re: American woman sends her son back to Russia
« Reply #32 on: April 13, 2010, 10:46:10 PM »
After 5 you're usually screwed up for good without the right upbringing.

As they like to say in the Catholic Church, "Give us your kids until they're six and they're ours forever."
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Offline 'andersom'

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Re: American woman sends her son back to Russia
« Reply #33 on: April 14, 2010, 02:10:48 AM »
The mother was a coward. Couldn't face the child services there.  

Some people like to adopt foreign kids but it's more expensive than adopting kids in the USA. Adopting foster kids are the cheapest.

I think it is also because people suspect that kids given up for adoption in their own country will have a fucked up history with drugs and meds, or something else, that makes them not perfect. With kids from abroad they can hope it was 'only' extreme poverty leading to giving the kid up for adoption. And you don't have to worry about biological family turning up all of a sudden.
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Re: American woman sends her son back to Russia
« Reply #34 on: April 14, 2010, 02:20:28 AM »
The mother was a coward. Couldn't face the child services there.  

Some people like to adopt foreign kids but it's more expensive than adopting kids in the USA. Adopting foster kids are the cheapest.

I think it is also because people suspect that kids given up for adoption in their own country will have a fucked up history with drugs and meds, or something else, that makes them not perfect. With kids from abroad they can hope it was 'only' extreme poverty leading to giving the kid up for adoption. And you don't have to worry about biological family turning up all of a sudden.


I get the impression that there is also less hoops to jump through when you adopt from overseas.

Offline Eclair

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Re: American woman sends her son back to Russia
« Reply #35 on: April 14, 2010, 02:42:52 AM »
The mother was a coward. Couldn't face the child services there.  

Some people like to adopt foreign kids but it's more expensive than adopting kids in the USA. Adopting foster kids are the cheapest.

I think it is also because people suspect that kids given up for adoption in their own country will have a fucked up history with drugs and meds, or something else, that makes them not perfect. With kids from abroad they can hope it was 'only' extreme poverty leading to giving the kid up for adoption. And you don't have to worry about biological family turning up all of a sudden.


I get the impression that there is also less hoops to jump through when you adopt from overseas.

True, in most cases. But the poorer the country or less regard for human life, the easier it is. Not that I'm bagging Russia, I don't really know much about it.... just have visions of those orphanages they have over there that I've seen on TV, some are pretty horrid.

Offline Natalia Evans

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Re: American woman sends her son back to Russia
« Reply #36 on: April 14, 2010, 07:41:16 AM »
*Sigh*


Maybe I shouldn't judge parents who give up their adoptive kids because I saw this on the local news a couple days ago. These people who adopted the boy was really dangerous. He threatened to kill them and hurt them, wanted to burn down the house so the parents had to hide everything that were weapons. Put them where he couldn't get to them. The story I heard on the local news was different than what I read in the article. They said they did try and get him help. The news also talked about a ranch in Montana for adoptive kids with psychological issues. Parents send them there and pay $3,500 a month for their help. But some parents don't even want their kids back so they basically pay them money to keep them there.

Perhaps these parents could have sent their boy there than back to Russia or maybe they couldn't afford it.

Offline Callaway

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Re: American woman sends her son back to Russia
« Reply #37 on: April 14, 2010, 11:00:03 AM »
*Sigh*


Maybe I shouldn't judge parents who give up their adoptive kids because I saw this on the local news a couple days ago. These people who adopted the boy was really dangerous. He threatened to kill them and hurt them, wanted to burn down the house so the parents had to hide everything that were weapons. Put them where he couldn't get to them. The story I heard on the local news was different than what I read in the article. They said they did try and get him help. The news also talked about a ranch in Montana for adoptive kids with psychological issues. Parents send them there and pay $3,500 a month for their help. But some parents don't even want their kids back so they basically pay them money to keep them there.

Perhaps these parents could have sent their boy there than back to Russia or maybe they couldn't afford it.

How long could the parents afford to pay $3500 per month for their kid to stay at the ranch for kids in Montana?  Maybe they didn't have $42,000 a year to pay for him to stay there.

The adoptive parents of the other Russian kid I linked earlier in the thread who wound up bringing a gun to school went there, then he tried to poison his prospective father.  Then the adoptive parents took him back into their home, but when their insurance wouldn't pay for him to stay any longer in a residential treatment facility, they asked the county for help and were turned down.  So they gave up their parental rights and made him a ward of the state hoping he would get the treatment they could no longer afford to pay for because they had already spent their entire life savings trying to get him help.

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Re: American woman sends her son back to Russia
« Reply #38 on: April 14, 2010, 11:12:18 AM »
A friend of mine's brother adopted twins from Russia but they were very young about one year everything went well for them
"Eat it up.  Wear it out.  Make it do or do without." 

'People who say it cannot be done should not interrupt those who are doing it.'
George Bernard Shaw

Offline Callaway

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Re: American woman sends her son back to Russia
« Reply #39 on: April 14, 2010, 11:16:18 AM »
I have friends who adopted a young girl from Russia and she has ADHD but is doing pretty well.

I know someone else who adopted a 14 year old boy from Ukraine and it seems to be going reasonably well, too.

Offline Natalia Evans

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Re: American woman sends her son back to Russia
« Reply #40 on: April 14, 2010, 12:23:27 PM »
*Sigh*


Maybe I shouldn't judge parents who give up their adoptive kids because I saw this on the local news a couple days ago. These people who adopted the boy was really dangerous. He threatened to kill them and hurt them, wanted to burn down the house so the parents had to hide everything that were weapons. Put them where he couldn't get to them. The story I heard on the local news was different than what I read in the article. They said they did try and get him help. The news also talked about a ranch in Montana for adoptive kids with psychological issues. Parents send them there and pay $3,500 a month for their help. But some parents don't even want their kids back so they basically pay them money to keep them there.

Perhaps these parents could have sent their boy there than back to Russia or maybe they couldn't afford it.

How long could the parents afford to pay $3500 per month for their kid to stay at the ranch for kids in Montana?  Maybe they didn't have $42,000 a year to pay for him to stay there.

The adoptive parents of the other Russian kid I linked earlier in the thread who wound up bringing a gun to school went there, then he tried to poison his prospective father.  Then the adoptive parents took him back into their home, but when their insurance wouldn't pay for him to stay any longer in a residential treatment facility, they asked the county for help and were turned down.  So they gave up their parental rights and made him a ward of the state hoping he would get the treatment they could no longer afford to pay for because they had already spent their entire life savings trying to get him help.


And the parents were shunned. That's another example why we shouldn't judge people when they give up their kids.

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Re: American woman sends her son back to Russia
« Reply #41 on: April 14, 2010, 12:24:07 PM »
In Russia ADHD has you!  :yikes: :bint:

Offline 'andersom'

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Re: American woman sends her son back to Russia
« Reply #42 on: April 14, 2010, 04:36:55 PM »
I have friends who adopted a young girl from Russia and she has ADHD but is doing pretty well.

I know someone else who adopted a 14 year old boy from Ukraine and it seems to be going reasonably well, too.

Is that an exception, or does it happen more, adopting a child of that age?

If I'm right there are age-limits here, to prevent too big problems in adapting. Only on special occasions exceptions are made. (Like when parents are schooled in educating and training kids, and are also adopting a younger sibbling)
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Re: American woman sends her son back to Russia
« Reply #43 on: April 14, 2010, 06:23:52 PM »
I took in a sixteen year old almost two years ago he can be trouble but no more than my kids
"Eat it up.  Wear it out.  Make it do or do without." 

'People who say it cannot be done should not interrupt those who are doing it.'
George Bernard Shaw

Offline Callaway

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Re: American woman sends her son back to Russia
« Reply #44 on: April 14, 2010, 08:49:38 PM »
I have friends who adopted a young girl from Russia and she has ADHD but is doing pretty well.

I know someone else who adopted a 14 year old boy from Ukraine and it seems to be going reasonably well, too.

Is that an exception, or does it happen more, adopting a child of that age?

If I'm right there are age-limits here, to prevent too big problems in adapting. Only on special occasions exceptions are made. (Like when parents are schooled in educating and training kids, and are also adopting a younger sibbling)

I think one can adopt an older child if one wants to.  I think that many adoption agencies are more reluctant to give an infant to a couple who is over 45, but there are lots of older childen who really need good homes even more badly. This couple lost a son who had even more severe issues than the child they adopted, so at least they know how to handle a child with severe issues.

I think it would be very sad to be a child in an orphanage who is considered too old to be adopted where you live.