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Author Topic: How not to get laid...  (Read 3709 times)

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Offline Trigger 11

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Re: Free Sex Therapy from a Seasoned Pro
« Reply #15 on: October 08, 2008, 11:32:12 AM »
Why is my libido so low?

You don't have enough fiber in your diet. I would recommend seeing a Gastroenterologist about having a Colonoscopy. Once that is done, a fiber-rich diet should boost your libido up in about a week.
Crazy, I'm halfway to crazy
Suicide would waste me
Homicide would break me
Tongue tied and tied to the tongue
Tongue tied and tied to the tongue
Oh, is life as bad as dreams
I guess that's just the way it seems

Offline Peter

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Re: Free Sex Therapy from a Seasoned Pro
« Reply #16 on: October 08, 2008, 11:41:50 AM »
Why is my libido so low?

You don't have enough fiber in your diet. I would recommend seeing a Gastroenterologist about having a Colonoscopy. Once that is done, a fiber-rich diet should boost your libido up in about a week.

My diet has a great deal of fibre, and I take a big crap twice a day.
Quote
14:10 - Moarskrillex42: She said something about knowing why I wanted to move to Glasgow when she came in. She plopped down on my bed and told me to go ahead and open it for her.

14:11 - Peter5930: So, she thought I was your lover and that I was sending you a box full of sex toys, and that you wanted to move to Glasgow to be with me?

Offline Lucifer

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Re: Free Sex Therapy from a Seasoned Pro
« Reply #17 on: October 08, 2008, 11:47:00 AM »
Why is my libido so low?

You don't have enough fiber in your diet. I would recommend seeing a Gastroenterologist about having a Colonoscopy. Once that is done, a fiber-rich diet should boost your libido up in about a week.

My diet has a great deal of fibre, and I take a big crap twice a day.

maybe that's where you're going wrong, then.

Offline Lucifer

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Re: Free Sex Therapy from a Seasoned Pro
« Reply #18 on: October 08, 2008, 11:47:37 AM »
when can i expect my next shag?

Normally I would ask where you live and give you a time estimate based upon how long it would take me to get there, since I certainly do like to oblige the ladies, but I suppose there is someone else on here that may be able to give you a more accurate answer. But being a female, you should be able to go to your local Pub and get shagged tonight. It all depends on your standards.

:laugh:

that's the trouble, see - standards.  :(

Offline Trigger 11

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Re: Free Sex Therapy from a Seasoned Pro
« Reply #19 on: October 08, 2008, 12:41:10 PM »
Why is my libido so low?
You don't have enough fiber in your diet. I would recommend seeing a Gastroenterologist about having a Colonoscopy. Once that is done, a fiber-rich diet should boost your libido up in about a week.
My diet has a great deal of fibre, and I take a big crap twice a day.

Then you need to add Yellow Mangosteens to your diet. At least five per day should have you back in the saddle in a month.
Crazy, I'm halfway to crazy
Suicide would waste me
Homicide would break me
Tongue tied and tied to the tongue
Tongue tied and tied to the tongue
Oh, is life as bad as dreams
I guess that's just the way it seems

Offline ALLDAYGLOWRANDY

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Re: Free Sex Therapy from a Seasoned Pro
« Reply #20 on: October 08, 2008, 12:46:06 PM »
Ok, fuck you Lucifer and Odeon, and let me watch Lucifer :laugh: :wanker:

Sounds like desperate shots.  I know what I am doing, and I don't seem to be getting hurt, except the goldenseal root extract.  Although my reaction is better  this time, because last time it wasn't extract, and there was hives.  I got no hives this time, and I even applied it topically to.
Mouth sores suck!  I think wheat is worse though, with the sores.  I took some of this last time and I don't remember it doing anything.

Your a sorry ass Trigger11, and you make fun of me?  Your reasons are probably illogical.
famous piligram John Alden is my direct descendent. physically fit!, wanna hit me yet?, warnning, you may have to acutually walk first! Persuasive creates his own luck has ability & drive to succeed   drink "Diet Dr. Maina" :) "62" orgasms at 1 time Fuck you faggot ass! not wishing Metabolic profile ( insulin metabolism etc) is almost perfect with no psychic meds, so go fuck yourself! semiautonomic controll over tear glands ambedexterous

Offline DirtDawg

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Re: Free Sex Therapy from a Seasoned Pro
« Reply #21 on: October 08, 2008, 01:11:26 PM »
Ease up, Randy. Quiet place, sit and think, don't do anything - yes, Buddha is smart.

While Odeon and Lucifer were possibly making a parallel to your recommendations, it is YOU who have offered these suggestions over a long period of time. Desparate? No, just a parody of many things.

I don't think Trigger11 was making fun of you as much as complimenting you by working in your universe. Many writers are at first offended, but it is one world we live in. One world. You are a part of it.

Breathe deeply. Think. Think, again.
Confucius: A man who has mosquito land upon testicles finds a way to solve problems without violence. (Surely, a modern bastardization of TeH Master)

Ghandi: Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.

The end result of life's daily pain and suffering, trials and failures, tears and laughter, readings and listenings is an accumulation of wisdom in its purest form. (from My heart to You! Never stop learning!)

Offline Trigger 11

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Re: Free Sex Therapy from a Seasoned Pro
« Reply #22 on: October 08, 2008, 01:16:35 PM »
Your a sorry ass Trigger11, and you make fun of me?  Your reasons are probably illogical.

I have no idea what you are talking about. I never mentioned you, nor did I quote anything from you or that someone else quoted from you, if that's the case. In fact, I have only seen a couple of posts from you in the short time I have been here. I really don't have a clue what I did that could upset you. :-\
Crazy, I'm halfway to crazy
Suicide would waste me
Homicide would break me
Tongue tied and tied to the tongue
Tongue tied and tied to the tongue
Oh, is life as bad as dreams
I guess that's just the way it seems

Offline ALLDAYGLOWRANDY

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Re: Free Sex Therapy from a Seasoned Pro
« Reply #23 on: October 08, 2008, 01:17:52 PM »
I wasn't going any further.

You don't think I am suffering?  I would think I would be happier, to a degree, if I had serious mental issues, instead, I find them leaking out of conscious.  My situation makes me a sorry ass, sucks!  There isn't much else I can do exept concentrate on going foward.

Did I just say that, sorry ass, man I am horny, I am almost asking for a spanking, and I never do.  Get me that clepto, thinks she can fuck with me now?  Yes I am neive, take you for a ride >:D  Stupid bitch :laugh:
famous piligram John Alden is my direct descendent. physically fit!, wanna hit me yet?, warnning, you may have to acutually walk first! Persuasive creates his own luck has ability & drive to succeed   drink "Diet Dr. Maina" :) "62" orgasms at 1 time Fuck you faggot ass! not wishing Metabolic profile ( insulin metabolism etc) is almost perfect with no psychic meds, so go fuck yourself! semiautonomic controll over tear glands ambedexterous

Offline DirtDawg

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Re: Free Sex Therapy from a Seasoned Pro
« Reply #24 on: October 08, 2008, 01:25:10 PM »
I wasn't going any further.

You don't think I am suffering?  I would think I would be happier, to a degree, if I had serious mental issues, instead, I find them leaking out of conscious.  My situation makes me a sorry ass, sucks!  There isn't much else I can do exept concentrate on going foward.

Did I just say that, sorry ass, man I am horny, I am almost asking for a spanking, and I never do.  Get me that clepto, thinks she can fuck with me now?  Yes I am neive, take you for a ride >:D  Stupid bitch :laugh:

You can do more.

Take some time to sit quietly, think, do not move, meditate.


I am convinced, Randy, that with all the other things you do for yourself, one of the missing links is meditation.
Confucius: A man who has mosquito land upon testicles finds a way to solve problems without violence. (Surely, a modern bastardization of TeH Master)

Ghandi: Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.

The end result of life's daily pain and suffering, trials and failures, tears and laughter, readings and listenings is an accumulation of wisdom in its purest form. (from My heart to You! Never stop learning!)

Offline odeon

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Re: Free Sex Therapy from a Seasoned Pro
« Reply #25 on: October 08, 2008, 03:01:44 PM »
Your a sorry ass Trigger11, and you make fun of me?  Your reasons are probably illogical.

I have no idea what you are talking about. I never mentioned you, nor did I quote anything from you or that someone else quoted from you, if that's the case. In fact, I have only seen a couple of posts from you in the short time I have been here. I really don't have a clue what I did that could upset you. :-\

Randy, meet Trigger. Trigger, meet Randy. :LMAO:
To me it looks like you're saying that banning bombs didn't stop bombs going off therefore there is no point to gun control because it's a mental health issue. 

Offline odeon

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Re: Free Sex Therapy from a Seasoned Pro
« Reply #26 on: October 08, 2008, 03:02:39 PM »
Ok, fuck you Lucifer and Odeon, and let me watch Lucifer :laugh: :wanker:

We'd rather do it without you, if that's OK.
To me it looks like you're saying that banning bombs didn't stop bombs going off therefore there is no point to gun control because it's a mental health issue. 

Offline El

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Re: Free Sex Therapy from a Seasoned Pro
« Reply #27 on: October 09, 2008, 06:27:59 AM »
At what point should I stop being willing to sacrifice sleep for sex?

You're kidding right? :-\

Hmmm, read that the wrong way! You have you're entire death to sleep, but you can't enjoy sex once you're dead. So have sex as often as you can, regardless of how tired you are. Besides, don't women get a rush of energy after sex?
Lol, nah, I get afterglow naps attacks like a guy.  Something about suddenly being very relaxed.  (Prolly also has to do with otherwise being tired and stressed much of the time.)
it is well known that PMS Elle is evil.
I think you'd fit in a 12" or at least a 16" firework mortar
You win this thread because that's most unsettling to even think about.

Offline Lucifer

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Re: Free Sex Therapy from a Seasoned Pro
« Reply #28 on: October 09, 2008, 12:53:14 PM »
Ok, fuck you Lucifer and Odeon, and let me watch Lucifer :laugh: :wanker:

We'd rather do it without you, if that's OK.

we seem to have managed okay without him so far.   :eyelash:

Offline odeon

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Re: Free Sex Therapy from a Seasoned Pro
« Reply #29 on: October 09, 2008, 01:17:48 PM »
Ok, fuck you Lucifer and Odeon, and let me watch Lucifer :laugh: :wanker:

We'd rather do it without you, if that's OK.

we seem to have managed okay without him so far.   :eyelash:

I think so too. :eyelash:
To me it looks like you're saying that banning bombs didn't stop bombs going off therefore there is no point to gun control because it's a mental health issue.