Refelections

[Teejay]

I have been reflecting on my experiences at that supported employment, I worked at for the last several months. It has changed me a lot as a person, socially I have made leaps and bounds, I've gotten out of my shell and more expressive of my emotions.

One of the concerns my stepmother had in getting me to work there was my low level of social skills. I now know at Commonwealth Rehabilitation Services they have social skills classes, means me working there originally was not necessary. I will never forgive my stepmother for suggesting me working there at a time when I was very suggestive, I think their decision was also motivated by my dad being afraid at the time of losing his carer's pension looking after me, because there would be a chance I would lose my disability support pension by doing the job capacity assessment needed to access Commonwealth Rehabilitation Services.

Neverless the experience has changed me a lot, I used to be extremely dismissive of those with intellectual disabilities. I saw such people in the streets and on the buses but I ignored them. After a while working there I began to see them as human beings and I thought I had my strengths and weaknesses and they had their strengths and weaknesses.

Then as I developed socially my attitudes began to change again, I began to see the intellectual limitations of my workmates and got frustrated at some of the things they did and say. I have not gone back to being dismissive like I used to be, but somehow I do not see those people on the same level of functioning than me.

My experience at the last workplace was not helped by the disability services organization's enthusiasm  at workers being involved in social events, not necessarily the community ones which is a good thing, the ones geared towards the intellectually disabled. But I can only blame myself for that for being extremely lonely and suggestible at the time. I was desperate to get involved in the community more and took part in anything offered. Maybe I should have had more common sense and avoided those events geared towards the intellectually disabled and took part in more general community events.

In conclusion I am glad I have much progress in  my life these last few months, but I really want to forget a lot of it and forget a lot of the people I met during that time too.

[DirtDawg]

Actuallly, this sounds very positive, to me. I'm not sure who you are, but I doubt that I have missed you completely, since you have over one thousand posts. Do I know you? Have we ever talked? Have you changed your screen name and avatar, lately?

Anyway, don't blame yourself too much for moving at your own speed. Some of the "wanting to be a part of some social sphere, made up of other's lives"  is missing in us, even to the point of noticing an opportunity to engage and turning away much of the time. We all do this. Some of the "wanting to engage" and not being able, causes a degree of anxiety at times or even compromise, as what you have stated.

If it is our choice, then it is a good thing, either way. If we are responding to people telling us that "you are just NOT right,"  then we will still grow, although sometimes slowly and not unlike a twisted cyprus tree responding to alternating winds.

As far as those you want to forget - think of them as stepping stones on a path that closes behind you, because you have no need to ever go back. You have many more stones just like them ahead of you and it is not wrong to recognise them as such when you approach.

[Teejay]

Actuallly, this sounds very positive, to me. I'm not sure who you are, but I doubt that I have missed you completely, since you have over one thousand posts. Do I know you? Have we ever talked? Have you changed your screen name and avatar, lately?

I'm Teejay, I change my nick from time to time. Good thoughts you expressed DirtDawg.

[Eclair]

You sound like an intelligent person.  Try not to let the social interaction thing break your confidence.